First Bite

"Unascended" Astarion

Why I love the Spawn ending and why it's not "lesser"

Up until now, I've been lucky to stay on the Spawn-supportive side of the fandom, but yesterday, I stumbled upon some Ascendant-supportive interpretations, some of which surprised or even upset me. I want to make clear that my intention is not to point fingers here - I just want to work through my emotions and put the feeling into words, because, honestly, I felt a lot yesterday. Also, I think it's a great opportunity to share my own view: why I love his Spawn ending and think it is beautiful.

Let’s go through some points I’ve seen brought up:

"Unascended" Astarion

I’m not sure if this is a unified term for Spawn Astarion, but I’ve seen several posts refer to him as “Unascended.” That phrasing alone feels invalidating - as if he’s lesser or incomplete because he didn’t take the power offered. In a way, it echoes how Ascended Astarion refers to his former self, calling him pathetic.

But the Spawn ending isn’t about not ascending - it’s about reclaiming himself. This Astarion isn’t “less than.” He’s the same man they say they fell for, but now he’s free to grow, reflect, and choose who he wants to become.

"Miserable" Astarion

The moment when Astarion breaks down in tears after killing Cazador and then says he feels numb is mentioned a lot.

There’s a claim that it shows he’s miserable and regrets not ascending - in contrast to the Ascended version who laughs and says he feels alive.

But this interpretation completely misreads the moment. That breakdown isn’t weakness. It isn’t regret at having missed an opportunity. It’s emotional, cathartic release.

He just faced the man who controlled and tortured him for centuries, resisted over ultimate temptation with power, and chose to break the vicious cycle. He is finally free - not just to live to but grieve too.

Killing Cazador didn't erase or undo everything that happened, but it gave him space to feel it.

Up until now, survival was taking all the space, but now that the overpowering shadow of his former master is finally lifted, he feels empty, numb.

With that cry, Astarion releases the pain he was carrying for so long, mourning everything that was stolen from him, and feeling the weight of finally being free.

And there is this huge relief that it is finally over.

So he cries - and this is a perfectly natural and deeply human reaction. Crying isn't bad - it's a way to deal with strong emotions.

Meanwhile, the Ascended version laughs, high on power and control, - a very different kind of reaction.

“Depressed” Astarion

Some say that Astarion seems miserable or depressed in the Spawn ending. But what I see is the opposite: he’s calmer, more grounded, and more honest. They are concerned because he doesn’t constantly joke or flirt like before. But that version of Astarion - the flamboyant, seductive, constantly smirking version - was his mask. A performance he relied on over centuries to survive.

In the Spawn path, he still uses it from time to time - old habits die hard. But now, with Tav, he doesn’t need it. He’s safe enough to be real - to show vulnerability, to ask for connection, to speak softly and show doubt. Yes, his tone changes. He’s more serious, but that’s not sadness - it’s growth that shows in calm self-reflection.

That some interpret as a “loss of charm” is actually him finally lowering his defenses. He speaks softly, shows doubt, asks for real connection and allows himself to be seen. That’s vulnerability and real strength.

Well, of course, he can feel sad too. He needs time to process. And that's how the healing starts. It can't be a 100% nice and pleasant experience - it will be painful, ugly, even - but in a necessary, honest way, with shaking and tears. But you need to get through the thorns to reach the stars.

"Rejecting" Astarion

There’s a moment in the Spawn ending where Tav can offer to protect him now that he’s still a vampire spawn, and Astarion gently declines. I saw someone interpret this as a sign of distrust - that Astarion can’t forgive Tav for denying him the chance to walk in the sun, and that he’s pushing them away to protect himself.

Yes, Tav’s wording may come off a bit awkward - “I’ll protect you” - but I believe it is said out of love: a sincere attempt to comfort and reassure.

And Astarion’s reply is a gentle refusal. He accepts their care, but sets a new boundary. He doesn't seek to rely on someone strong anymore - he wants to be his own protector, because now he believes he is enough.

That’s the new strength he found in rejecting the stolen power promised by the Rite.

"Strong" Astarion

There’s an idea that the Ascended path gives Astarion power and confidence, while the Spawn path leaves him weak and miserable.

But that confidence? Try asking Ascended Astarion about his past - about Cazador. He snaps. He doesn’t want to talk. He lashes out.

Spawn Astarion, by contrast, can talk about it. He faces it, even when it hurts.

Ascended Astarion might have new powers, but inside, he is weaker than ever.

He might look invincible, might say all the pretty words about being in control, but he’s emotionally cut off. He’s angry, reactive, guarded. He doesn’t want his past mentioned because it still owns him. Why? Because he became its embodiment, continuing the wicked cycle of power-seeking and domination.

The powers gave him control, but cost him everything else: his softness, his openness, his ability to grow. He becomes what he used to hate, and that’s not freedom - that’s entrapment by another name.

I think the tragedy is that Ascended Astarion no longer believes in love or trust - only in power, and the illusion of safety it brings.

In contrast, Spawn Astarion chooses trust: in himself, in Tav, in friendship, in this world. He chooses life, with all its mess and uncertainty.

Yes, he has limitations as a spawn. But don't we all have them, one way or another? These limitations don't make us less valuable. And yes, he mourns them, mourns the sunlight and everything else that was stolen from him. And that's human. But it doesn't mean he regrets his choice. He embraces what he can have: love, freedom, real connection, the chance to shape his own path.

And it is very brave to learn to face your shadows and work through them, so they won't hold you back or make you feel bad about yourself. It can make one stronger and more compassionate toward other people's weaknesses. It reminds me of this quote that stuck with me when I saw it:

"Do you understand the violence it took to become this gentle?" (Nitya Prakash)

Astarion isn’t “perfect” in the Spawn ending. He’s still learning, still healing, still growing. But for the first time in his life, he’s doing it on his own terms. He is not rid of his wounds and uncertainty. The Ascended path is covering the scars with glamor and denial. But these scars don’t make Astarion someone less, they make him real. And his choice - to remain himself rather than become someone he used to hate - is strength, not loss.

The Ascended path closes its eyes on the inconvenient moments, unable to handle them. Believing that version of him is happy and content is doing the same - painting castles in the sky instead of looking at the radiant in its messiness truth.

"Humbled" Astarion

Another criticism I saw was that Astarion thanks Tav for being patient with him. And trusting him "when it was objectively stupid."

The argument was that he shouldn’t feel grateful for being “tolerated,” that this shows low self-worth and implies an unhealthy dynamic where love is conditional.

But loving someone “as they are” doesn’t mean you resist their growth. You can see someone’s potential and want this for them, but still cherish them in every stage of becoming. Patience in love isn’t about wanting to fix your loved one - it’s holding space for them while they are looking for their way to their better selves. It's about seeing someone with all their flaws and wounds and staying beside them anyway. Not closing your eyes and pretending everything is fine.

When Astarion says “thank you for being patient,” it’s not self-deprecation, it's recognition. It’s him saying: "I know I was difficult. And I’m so grateful you stayed."

Astarion was still discovering who he was. He believed in a cruel system, and it took time, trust, and care to step outside it. It’s a deeply vulnerable moment of acknowledging that he was in the process of relearning who he truly was, beyond what Cazador told him to be, shaking off centuries of trauma and manipulation. And it takes immense courage to face it.

So Tav’s patience is a form of love. A love that doesn’t rush him. That looks beyond a mask or performance. A love that quietly waits beside him until he’s ready. When Astarion says next that he feels “safe and seen”, it's everything. He’s not being humbled in the sense of being diminished or broken - he’s grounding himself.

Astarion gains a deeper understanding of himself - the freedom to feel everything fully and still keep going. That’s not being less. That’s becoming whole.

And yes - this humility is strength. A strength that the Ascended Astarion refused. He cannot grow, he's entraped, frozen in a performance of power, unable to confront or heal from the pain that shaped him into what he chose to become.

But Spawn Astarion can move forward. That’s why his “thank you for being patient” means something. Because he finally knows himself. Or at least starting to get to know himself. And he chooses to be loved as that man.

Conclusion

The tragedy of the Ascended path is that Astarion loses the one thing he fought so hard for: himself.

He doesn't believe in love anymore, only in power and control. He inherited the world that Cazador painted for him.

But the Spawn path is about choosing to live. To feel. To love.

Astarion chooses to leave the past behind and start again. To face uncertainty and shadows as himself, not as a vampire lord.

And hearing someone rob him of this, invalidate and pity for this choice... honestly? It hurts. And yes, I do feel angry about it.

I do try not to blame or disrespect people who see this so differently, but it doesn't mean I can't have emotions about this. So I needed to vent in the most civilized way possible.

Still, no one can take that from him, our Radiant Hopeful.

Yan Wushi:

*looking at Shen Qiao with sparkling puppy eyes*

you can call me A-Yan

Shen Qiao:

...I came to save that heartless jerk,

not this delicate devoted creature,

life haven’t prepared me for this

I see these wonderful and thoughtful posts about Ascended Astarion that analyze every change of an expression, a choice of words, a slightly softer tone... all to say: "See? He still cares. He still loves us!"

And while I admire the dedication, a part of me can’t help but think that if you have to dig that deep just to prove he still has feelings... maybe the point is that he’s just not quite the same person anymore?..

(don’t get me wrong, I still love reading those analyses, just from the safe and warm embrace of my spawn route, thanks 👀)

Thank you for this addition! I didn’t go that far in my thoughts and I am still figuring out for myself what kind of master Cazador was to Astarion and his siblings and what kind of life they had in that place.

And I love the other poster’s thoughts on the quote. I feel a bit sorry that Larian decided to remove it.

Astarion's Shirt

(8/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

This part is short, and probably has been talked about before, but I just wanted to share how much I love that the game gives us character insight through small, indirect details. For example, the description of Astarion’s shirt.

“A once-fine shirt that’s seen years of cuts, tears, and careful repairs. Clearly someone cares about looking good.”

At first glance, it’s a nod to his vanity - Astarion knows how gorgeous he is, and he clearly enjoys small luxuries when he can. But I think there’s more to it than that.

Yes, his appearance was Astarion’s tool to do his job - luring people for Cazador. But maybe this careful mending of that shirt feels like something else, something “human.”

I can't help but imagine Astarion’s frame bending over his shirt and fixing it up once again, working so carefully on the stitches… And there is something deeply sad about it - but also resilient. Him, in that cold castle, maybe after another torture or another night with someone he didn’t want to be with. So here he is, just sitting there in his little corner - a bed in a room he shares with other spawns - working on his clothes quietly.

Maybe telling himself that he can still look like this life as a slave doesn’t make him any less, like he still can carry himself with pride. It is something he still can control. And it is not about vanity, but dignity - another small act of defiance in its own quiet way. His insistence that he still matters, that he is still someone. Even if no one else cares. Even if it is just him, needle in hand, patching fabric like he wished he could patch up the holes inside his heart, too.

<previous post>

<next post> - to be continued

<back to masterpost>

Haha yes that’s what I’m trying to do now:

I made sure to check everything with my 2nd Tav, the drow sorcerer Thalyn. We finished Act 1 & 2 and found the Gur camp and she agreed to help. Astarion is not in her party, so he wasn’t very thrilled to hear that she signed them up to something very risky yet again - and what’s worse, the deal was with monster hunters! She is not very close to him, so the conversation didn't go very well.

After reaching Wyrm’s Crossing, I really missed my first team badly, so I just impulsively started replaying my first campaign from the very beginning. That's why I still haven't experienced these events in the game.

And, yes, even after finishing Act 1 for the third time, I was still able to find something new. I clearly underestimated BG3!

It is very interesting, indeed! I want to reach Act 3 again with my first team and see how they will handle this.

But you reminded me of this interaction between Astarion and Gandrel. Fortunately, I took the screenshots:

Astarion: You're a monster hunter? I'm surprised - I thought all Gur were vagrant cut-throats. Roanael's face: "here we go again…" xD

Gandrel: And more! We steal chickens, curse your crops, seduce your daughters - the list goes on.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any hatred in him. On the contrary, Astarion seems quite pleased.

What I saw here: yes, Astarion expresses some kind of passive aggression, or at least demonstrates he is not quite fond of Gurs. But keeps the tone lighthearted.

Gandrel generously takes the joke and answers in the same key, but at the same time saying: "Yes, there are many rumors and stereotypes, but it doesn't necessarily make them true."

I think, Gandrel won approval here and some respect. Astarion even seems pleased with this interaction. Maybe it's my wishful thinking, but he is too intelligent to seriously hold all Gurs responsible for what happened to him - yes, they will always be associated with his death for him, and I think it's fair. But it doesn't mean he will hate every Gur he meets from now on.

The other thing is how Gandren responded to his humor: for Astarion, I'd say, it's quite a big deal and there are several places in the game when you can trigger his approval or disapproval depending on how you react to his jokes, sometimes quite sarcastic, or how you make jokes yourself. So when someone can take a joke and react positively, he certainly feels pleased with the exchange.

Softie Underneath

(9/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Maybe it’s just my headcanon, but I like to think there’s another side to Astarion, one he tries to hide: the part of him that genuinely likes children.

Of course, I haven't played his Origin run yet, so this is just the feeling I had during my first playthrough.

Take Arabella, the tiefling girl who stole the idol from the druids to stop the ritual. Astarion was all grumpy about getting involved, but there was something like admiration in his tone, even then. And later, when we ran into her again in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, he actually sounded excited to see her: “Oh, you’re that little idol thief!” - he said it almost with a kind of fond recognition. When we found her again in the Baldur’s Gate sewers, surrounded by corpses, listening to the Weave, Astarion whispered her name so quietly, like he was truly worried.

Then there was Yenna, the girl in Rivington whose mother disappeared. When we gave her some gold to buy food, Astarion didn’t say anything, but quietly approved along with the other companions. Later, when she turned up at camp asking to stay, he teased her, but it sounded more playful than mean. And when Orin kidnapped her, he was visibly shaken. He insisted we go after her and grew defensive about it, muttering that too many children had gone missing lately, and it had to stop.

For me, it’s one of those signs that no matter how much he tries to appear cold or indifferent, that’s not who he really is. There’s always been a warm heart under all that cruelty he was forced to learn.

<previous post>

<next post> - to be continued

<back to masterpost>

There’s always time to enjoy the scenery✨

But is it really the scenery that he can't take his eyes off?.. 😌

🌿 Meet my Tav 🌿

First step into my BG3 journey: meet Roanael!

half-elf druid | sage background | neutral good

Wild shape enthusiast, book lover, wise leader with a fierce heart 🦊✨

Stats:

Strength 10

Dexterity 14

Constitution 14

Intelligence 8

Wisdom 17

Charisma 15

Personality:

Cautious, observant, strong-willed, caring, witty, gentle presence, independent, weakness for children and animals

Values:

Kindness, patience, freedom of choice, protecting others, survival, trust, intuition, loyalty

👥 Born in Baldur’s Gate to a human druid and a wood elf mother, Roanael has always lived between two worlds - the restless energy of the city and the quiet pull of the wilds. She never fully belonged to either, but maybe that’s why she learned to stand steady on her own. This duality became her strength: thoughtful, patient and observant, she learned to find her own path, blending curiosity with an unwavering spirit!

📚 Never taught by any circle, she learned her way from books and nature, making her quite an open-minded druid who trusts her heart more than any teachings. Growing up in a multicultural place like Baldur’s Gate only supported her non-intrusive character as in letting everyone choose their way as long as it doesn’t cross boundaries.

🍃 Roanael is the kind of person who listens first, speaks second. She's cautious but never cold, brave but not reckless. Her journey began simply: survive, protect her companions, find a cure for the tadpole threatening them all. She wasn’t searching for anything more, be it glory or love.

🌙 But fate had other plans when she met a certain pale elf with a sharp tongue, a wounded soul and a spark of something she couldn’t turn away from.

🧡 When you meet her, she might seem reserved. But if you stay long enough, you'll see it: the fierce loyalty, the witty humor, the warmth she keeps tucked away under the guarded exterior.

About her name: I was completely unfamiliar with the world and had no idea what to expect, so without thinking much about it, I simply chose a name I usually use in all games for my female characters - Roanne. While it isn’t unusual for a half-elf to have a human sounding name it felt a bit weird as it didn’t properly separate her from my other game characters and I decided to give her a different name: after giving it a lot of thought I settled down on Roanael - which is basically the original one with some elven twist added to it.

(P.S. If you’re curious about Roanael’s family I have shared a little more about them here!)

Why walk around if you can make your own way?

And guess what song is keep playing in my head every time I do this?..

Let it go~

Let it go~

Can’t hold it back anymore~

Ok, I guess we don’t spend enough money on gems and now we need wardrobe too, guys…

Alright~ meet my MC who now has a physical appearance. Yay, I guess 🤷‍♀️

I’d actually appreciate more if they allowed to unmatch characters for their counterparts ^^;

It is a quiet and thick summer night. One of those when the air smells like spices and leaves warmed by daylight.

Astarion steps back into the lightened circle of your campfire, lowering himself on the bedroll. He was hunting in the forest - successful but uneventful routine.

His hunger is sated for now, yet his brows still grow tight together as he looks around, taking in the silence. You aren’t here.

He picks up a book, turning the pages by the flickering light of the fire, his mind far away. Until he hears the steps and the corners of his mouth curl into a small smile.

He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is, and he doesn’t flinch when your arms wrap around him from behind, gentle and warm. He just raises his hand to place over your arm as you rest your head against his shoulder and let out a dramatic sigh.

“You were gone for too long,” you mumble with a playful pout, softly nuzzling the curve of his neck with your nose. “I got bored waiting. So I went for a walk too. But really, you could’ve just bitten me instead. At least then we’d have spent that time together.”

Astarion chuckles, slightly leaning his head closer to yours. “Darling, your blood is far too invaluable to be treated as a mere convenience. It’s better reserved for more special occasions.”

You chuckle, brushing your lips along the pulse line on his neck. Your teeth grazing his skin in a teasing imitation of a bite.

“Then I’ll make us even,” you growl quietly, struggling to hold back a wide grin. “It’s my turn now.”

Astarion doesn’t hold back an amused laugh, short but light and unguarded. The sound you love so much. He turns around to look at you with a familiar smirk. “Oh? Is that so?”

He pulls you on his lap and you readily settle there, your eyes softening from mischief to warmth. You tilt your head, studying his face.

“Hold still…” you ask gently and Astarion arches his eyebrow but obliges, watching you raise your hand.

Your thumb carefully brushes his cheek, stroking a small drop of dried blood on his skin.

“Missed a spot,” you smile softly, wiping it away with the corner of your sleeve.

“…Thank you.” Astarion closes his eyes and leans into your touch for a moment, his lips brushing against the fabric wrapped around your arm.

You nod, satisfied, and lean back, reaching into the pouch still hanging on your belt, and luring out something small and delicate - a white flower with pointed, like a star, petals.

“A present! I found this while I was walking,” you say with a bashful smile. “It looked just like a star. Reminded me of you.”

He hums, both touched and amused. “Because my imperishable beauty outshines even the stars above?”

“Because you always shine, even in the dark,” you reply simply and tuck the flower behind his ear.

Astarion blinks, caught off guard for a moment, before a real, tender smile blooms on his lips.

He leans in and softly places a kiss on your forehead, then draws you close to his chest.

“So do you, my sweet.”