I’ve Said It Before And I’ll Say It Again Fiction Readers Don’t Want To Read About Realistic Relationships

Gaz talking you through it because you’re too far gone to tell him how good he’s fucking you. He knows, baby. He knows. Feels it, too. You’re shaking, spasming around him, and you’re trying your hardest to get away from him, but he won’t let you, darling. Nah. You gotta see this through, beautiful.

Now cum on his dick.

Credit to: user

Farah would be the one getting Alex pregnant and that's a sentence that would piss off whole a lot CoD bros

the tragedy of tumblr is you will inevitably meet people who you should be having a sleepover with. you should be rolling around on their floor and rummaging through their fridge and watching shitty movies with. you should be shopping with should be going out to a cafe with should be wandering through the aquarium with. people who you should be experiencing quotidian joys with... and you cannot! because they live one million miles away

they didnt give me a penis because i would be so good at having boners i would literally win every boner compatition and thats why they were tooooo scared

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

“#by the time I get here no one will be reading” my brother in christ, depraved ghost is the lifeblood of this fandom give me that nasty man

lkfjhkjfhst points were made

Remus “do what you want with me” Lupin:

This is now my new favorite best friend duo