Sometimes Facebook Is Hilarious

It’s a fake license

fellas, there's never been a better day to be a thick thigh harvey enthusiast

09' Ghost, into his radio: "ROACH! ROACH! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?? RESPOND!"

09' soap:"how the hell is he going to respond when he can't fucking talk!"

09' Ghost :"he'll make someone else do it"

09' soap: "that's the stupidest thing I have heard all day."

A random man over their radios :"EAST HALLWAY! PLEASE I HAVE A WIFE AND KI-"*gunshot*

09' Ghost, with heart eyes:"see, I told you!"

09' Soap:

AU where Clark lands on Earth as an adult and having to mask as a regular person. Sure, it sounds almost identical to canon, but.

For Clark, its fairly easy to blend in because he was raised by really good human parents with regular customs.

This Clark? When he went to an interview at the Daily Planet he tried to eat a pen. Shit, a whole computer! Lois asks him out for coffee and he's pissing sweat, " Coffee! My Favorite...Food?"

"...You country boys are weird."

When he interviews Bruce? Just spends 5 minutes gawking. " You're...Beautiful. May I court you? What's your favorite planet? I can bring you rocks."

Bruce just thinks he's autistic (just like him)

Now you see, I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that this square of the carpet is on a separate animation cell from the background & therefore something funky will happen if I step on it. You won’t catch me making a rookie mistake like that no sir!

Soap & Roach: *talking*

Ghost: SANDERSON

Roach: *turns around and throws his hands in the air*

Ghost: … what the fuck are you doing?

Roach: … trying to appear larger to intimidate you

Ghost:

Ghost: Ya know what? Never mind I’ll yell at you later *leaves*

Roach: *turns back to Soap*

Soap: … There is no fucking way that worked

Roach: I’m a genius, Soap

Soap: No, you’re so small that he genuinely feels bad for you

Roach: Shut the fuck up

Roachin'

Dick and Jason's responses are the only correct ones

Shitpost time