I Think Intimacy As Rubbing Lotion Up And Down The Other Person's Thighs, Soft Kisses To The Forehead

loneliness is not a disease it is a medicine to be alone with your thoughts and release the crinkled eyebrows you've been holding in all day and it feels upsetting to not have the presence of another person but then you are aware of your own soul overtaking the room and filling you up with your warmth and suddenly you are burning like a blue flame because you forgot the kind person you are and everything is okay in the world for the moment you are able to sip some water and curl in your bed and its lonely but its your comfort

the need to be everything and nothing but more and more until all things are nothing and im just something that doesnt exist

"everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it" is so real because yeah i'll be the best if you let me but try to take it away from me and i'll claw my way up until my fingers bleed and even then i'll keep clawing and clawing and clawing because i don't know how else to be. i'll carry your remains under my fingernails if that's the only way i can have you. how do i be nonchalant when someone is leaving me behind, how do i accept that betrayal?

KAMIKAZE GIRLS ‘下妻物語’ dir. Tetsuya Nakashima

i shouldve lied about my age on here

finding old accounts is like finding proof u really did exist two years ago which is like yeah i know i did but that me from two years ago was me and i was her and that makes it so disgustingly weird yet endearing yet everything wrong with the world because i hate to be perceived and who else to judge u harder than ur future self who is wiser (slightly) and knows more (not really)? so i feel a little sick but also, she was such a silly girl. just a silly lost sad angry girl

The Handmaiden (2016)

im not smart enough to consume all the knowledge in this world but god knows ill try my hardest to even if i end up as the dumbest in the room

srsly tho. i need a digital camera

i need a digital camera so i can take the same pictures i take with my phone but through a different grainer perspective that makes me think that the future isn't here yet and i'm still in 2013 and i'm not left behind grieving after who i could've been

do you ever sit there in your bed with your head in your hands and it's like you can just imagine 9 swords behind you