Winter Light (1962)

i wish i could end everything but im a coward

srsly tho. i need a digital camera

i need a digital camera so i can take the same pictures i take with my phone but through a different grainer perspective that makes me think that the future isn't here yet and i'm still in 2013 and i'm not left behind grieving after who i could've been

oh and i hurt. i hurt everyday and every i ever said to you feels like a lie and a part of me dies because i feel like a fool for being vulnerable. i wish i never opened myself up and showed you how the blood in my body flowed

no nevermind i love her she took off my glasses when i fell asleep on the couch and put another blanket on me

i need to hug my mother and cry into her neck because i miss the warm embrace of her womb and this bed is too cold for me; i just wish she held me. i just want her to care for me forever, no matter how bitter and painful loving me is

some nights i feel so alone that a bubble balloons up in my stomach and dares to pop and im terrified that my mood will explode with it and ill have no emotions left and i will just be left empty with scattered organs and mindless memories of a simpler time when i felt the warmth of another body and could connect but the present is so cold

what kind of man just destroys a girls life and moves on like . what am i supposed to do withthis emptiness inside me? it voided me entirely and now im just a sad thing inside something that was once human

:Dhehehe

I feel like im stuck at 15 forever and ill be 25 and thinking about the fact my brain stopped thinking at 15