You’re Not Alone. There Are At Least Two Of Us

Show cancelled.

the only reason I remember the formula for the volume of a cone is that Susan Sto Helit used it to count baby teeth in a big pile in Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather

No one is doing it like Sybil Ramkin. She's one of the most rich and powerful women in the city. She married a skrunkly little commoner nightwatchman. She raises dragons in her free time. She's canonically both tall and fat. She's a fierce advocate for the oppressed. She created a free hospital. She can fuck you up. She's childhood friends with the tyrant of the city. She is compared to empires and dreadnoughts. Icon.

This just happened to me today… again

Except that it wasn’t even a lyric, it was just a vibe

I had to speak French once (like, it was a test, it actually had to be French, not whatever works) and I had to really resist the temptation of saying “hombre” (spanish for man) instead of “homme” (french for man) because my brain somehow decided that “hombre” sounded, like, more beautiful? more natural? more suitable? idk. I wasn’t even learning Spanish back then yet.

Also, during the same test I think I almost said (or even actually said, I don’t remember) a really tired “Yeah…” instead of what should’ve been a really tired “Ouais…” (same thing but in French). Since English is also a foreign language to me, this is yet another example of what OP’s describing.

What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

ah yes, my favorite movie based on Tolkien's work, the

Really, what is canon? There’s just a bunch of movies, shows, books, comics and games of different levels of coolness and some of them contradict each other and sometimes it’s two equally cool versions that contradict each other, so what’s the point of all this? There can be more than one well-written, logical, satisfying story about the same characters in the same universe, and they’re all there for us to enjoy.

Arguments about what's canon and what's not in SW fandom are kinda pointless, I know for a fact that every fan has their personal frankensteined version of canon based on what's best for their own blorbos. I love picking up a random licensed book to sneer at half of its ideas and then steal the rest. Some shows and books and comics and whole movies are simply not incorporated into my belief system. That's how we roll

Iconic cop duos from my fandoms, from okay to best Anderson & Donovan (BBC Sherlock): 🤨❔👌

Hank & Gomie (Breaking Bad): 🤷🏻‍♀️🆒👍

Fred & Nobby (Discworld): 👏🤪😂

Ryan & Esposito (ABC Castle): ☺️💕🤗🫂✨👑

Conclusion: someone at the UU ships toxic yaoi. Probably the Senior Wrangler.

(From what we know about wizards, any possible couple that might find themselves under mistletoe will inevitably be toxic)

"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any women to the Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?"

"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught Ridcully's eye. "Good heavens, no, they'd spoil everything, I've always said so."

"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?"

"well, er... it's... well, it's... it's symbolic, Archchancellor."

(scenes from Hogfather feat. the Senior Wrangler NOT beating the allegations)