This Is Terrifying Why

Rarepair so rare there aren't any pics of it on AO3

Rarepair so rare there's only 8 fics on it on AO3

batman shooting somebody is crazy itself. BUT AT HIS SON?? DIABOLICAL.

You should be able to say “don’t touch me” to anyone ever in any context and not have it be considered in the realm of surprising or insulting imho if we ever needed to normalize something it’s this

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

Jason staying over at the mansion for a few weeks and everyone is lowkey worried with varied amounts of being vocal about it (tim, grumbling abt how he better not go apeshit when hes trying to keep the company from sinking; dick smiling but also being a tiny bit strained bcos as much as he loves his brother u just never know with him; damian loudly yelling about how Todd Must Not Trespass etc; Cass silently putting delicate things away slowly but surely. misplacing sharp objects just in case; Bruce staring at the 70 bedrooms, wondering which one will incite the least amount of trouble; alfred pre gaming lots of baking stuff stock piling flour and shit)

however, when jason actualy comes over, all he does is some grumbling, a little bit of bitchassery, annoying tim and damian but 98% of the time he's knocked out.

Is he ill? hurt? they all wonder.

no. jason is just a professional sleeper.

Post patrol? sleeping

pre patrol? sleeping.

10am? sleeping

1pm? sleeping

3pm? lunch and cooking and reading.

7pm? sleeping.

10 pm? dinner and gym

11pm to 5am? patrol

this is a continuation of my Jason Is THE Unemployed Brother TM au.

Okay, so hear me out. There are species of animals that reject their offspring if they don’t “smell” right. Like something about the pheromones are off and thus the vibes are bad. You can’t be mine, you smell funny. Similarly, we know that hormones and neurochemical reactions play a large part in bonding between human babies and parents. Our brains are swimming in chemicals that have us looking at our squishy, decidedly odd-looking newborns and saying “it’s so cute, I wanna bite it.”

My dudes (gender neutral). My people. My fellow nerds. Superman initially rejecting his clone because he doesn’t smell right. The kid was in a soup of artificial, clone-making chemicals and he doesn’t smell like he should. But what the fuck is he supposed to smell like? Superman having no frame of reference for this crazy feeling, for this intense dislike of a person with his face, and struggling internally with it because he knows logically that this deep revulsion doesn’t make sense. Problem is, he physically can’t help it. Something about this kid makes his teeth itch and his fingers twitch.

Then the kid takes a shower and changes his clothes and oh. Why would I push him away? That’s my baby. Hate him? How could I hate my baby? My baby. My sweet, perfect, amazing angel baby. My baby. My baby. My baby. Mybabymybabymybabymybaby.

And it’s probably hilarious from the outside looking in, because Superman looked ready to light the kid on fire a minute ago and now he’s all gooey-eyed. No thoughts, just sappy smiles and burying his nose in the clone’s hair. He’s ready to pluck the moon from the sky and hang it on a string for his kid. It’s sweet and adorable.

It’s also completely, utterly terrifying. Seeing how quickly one of the strongest beings in the known universe fell victim to his own biology, how wildly the pendulum swung from one extreme to the other. Batman’s immediately planning a trip to the Fortress to gather intel on this reaction. How long does it last? Is it normal? Is it supposed to be like this? Does it have anything to do with the clone being a teenager and not a newborn? Would it be worse with a newborn? Does the League, does he need contingency plans for this?

And Superman—Clark recognizes the sudden shift, but can’t do a thing about it. He should be scared of how every concern in his mind gets swept away by this out-of-control hormonal response, but he doesn’t want to do a thing about it. He can’t help the smile plastered on his face when Kon—what a perfect name, a beautiful name for my baby, mybabymybabyMYbabymyBABYMYBABYMYBABYMYBABY—sighs contently in his sleep or scrunches his nose in disgust at new foods, new sensations.

Something in Clark’s eyes says “I don’t know what’s happening, help me,” but it quickly gets snuffed out by “I will flip this entire universe over if a single hair on my baby’s head is out of place.” And honestly? Yeah, it’s scary, but every parent he knows—Bruce included—totally gets it.

inspired by the beautiful variant cover by stephen byrne

he totally gives me phantom thief vibes!

@arandomao3user I feel like you'd enjoy this and I dunno if you've seen it

Hi! I found this little trend on FB and wanted to recreate it with timber to get out of the blockage.

The original idea is from @/beomjin__kin on Instagram ❤️

Alfred, stitching up Bruce: and what do we think you perhaps should have done differently, master Bruce?

Bruce, delirious: I think I should have died with my parents

Do not look at the last photo or you will be cursed.