This Is Something I've Been Cooking For A Long Time, And Though I Can't Continue Playing The Game I Started

I decided to draw the smartest girl in the universe

Penelope’s proposal

I imagine that someone as neurotic as Bentley would have trouble summoning the courage to pop the question (and maybe he’d be self-conscious about not being able to “get down on one knee” to do it). So I like the idea of Penelope being the one to propose because she KNOWS he wants to and she’s tired of waiting for him to ask her.

"To me, the Cooper Gang will always be Sly, Bentley, Murray, and Penelope."

Confessed by: Anonymous

(Editing the Guru out of this picture made me very sad. :( ~Mod)

More humanized Bentley&Penelope fluff

I LOVE the way the sword pose came out. I don’t even care that I forgot to add glasses to it! XD

Sorry... kinda got lazy at the end with these two.

yo are we going to just ignore the fact that penelope has years of training in boxing??

I already stated earlier that it would make more narrative sense to have Penelope (fully reformed) fight Le Paradox during the end of Thieves In Time Redux. But what do you think?

Drop a comment if you picked "secret third option".

i was thinking in the shower about how things would have turned out had Bentley managed to break into the Cooper Vault without needing to recruit anyone. for starters, there wouldn't be a Sly 3 lol... i mean Sly and Bentley would definitely have gone after Murray so An Opera of Fear and Rumble Down Under would have happened i guess but for the sake of the post let's say they wouldn't have asked the Guru to join the gang. so no Netherlands and no China meaning no Penelope and no Panda King, and by extent no Dimitri because of no deal in Netherlands.

removing Sly 3's secondary characters kinda puts things into perspective in terms of character development. in Sly 1 we collected Thievius Racconus pages as we got closer to the truth and Sly learned new tricks and honed his skills in preparation for his encounter with Clockwerk. Sly 2 was just a traumatic trainwreck altogether like SP really put the gang through the wringer idk how they survived.

in Sly 3 this development is brought about through the secondary characters and their relationships with the protagonists. Penelope drives a wedge between Sly and Bentley forcing the latter to muster up the courage and step outside of Sly's shadow for a minute; Panda King's return demands Sly to mature and let go of the past; Dimitri tests the gang's patience; both Penelope and Panda King contribute to the Murray van storyline which kinda exhibited that yea! in the long run, Murray might be the dummy of the group as Dr Michael chastises at the end but he is definitely the heart of the gang.

but if all this never happened then how would Honour Among Thieves play out? funny thing is, even if they recruited the extended gang, shit hit the fan almost immediately upon arrival so i'm assuming the same would apply if the original trio had tried to pull it off on their own? no? as a sidenote: i'm also thinking that Sly 2 is the only game in the series that kinda had like the aspect of urgency if you think about it. someone stole the Clockwerk parts and they were going to rebuild him so tick tock bitch. Sly 1 and 3 however don't really have that sense of time pressure. the Fiendish Five were sitting on their asses for literally a decade before Sly popped up for the pages and don't even get me started on the possibility of Dr Michael managing to crack the Cooper Vault open like what a loser lmao. with this in mind, Bentley would have the time to develop his tech in order to do the tasks that the extended gang members would have done. i mean if he managed to build a time machine surely he could make his tech waterproof ?

so the entire heist goes according to plan with the possibility of them tripping that stupid alarm still at play. i never intended to do a full play by play "what if...?" of Honour Among Thieves but suffice to say Carmelita would 100% show up to save the day even with the change of context. i think the most important change would be that Bentley's run-in with Dr Michael would go down very differently. i don't think he'd defend Sly; i actually think Dr Michael would get to him even without Penelope's introduction because she only brought out feelings that were brewing deep in Bentley's subconscious (especially after the end of Sly 2, becoming disabled for a cause that was never his and that dedication arguably never being reciprocated). he might not have shown it in the moment but i think that conversation would significantly shape Bentley's character and if Sly got out of the episode unscathed, the gang would probably split. leaving the Guru behind would also give Murray the motive to go his own way.

it's clear that Sly 3's secondary characters helped the gang get over some unspoken issues they had between them, even if they got resolved behind each other's backs (because Bentley only vents to Penelope about his feelings and doesn't go straight to Sly, who, in turn, doesn't even know there's an issue to begin with). personally, and i feel kinda stupid for suggesting something so simplistic in relation to how this game would be better like 7-8 years after being on this godforsaken website and analysing it to the point where it feels like the bible, i feel like one more episode would help really flesh out the problems the gang had. we never get direct acknowledgment or accountability from Sly and it feels like he's too focused on entering the Vault to care about Bentley's feelings, or anyone else's for that matter (there's like 7 anon asks gathering dust in my inbox about why i have anti-Sly sentiment and that number better not go up). all it takes is a 'you know what guys? you should enter the vault with me after literally sticking by me since childhood and risking your lives fighting my own battles' and they shoot up the van like it's a guest on Wendy.

Sly 2's ending proved that the protagonists aren't Riverdale characters who just go through weekly life-threatening events without any guilt, trauma and anxiety; and then in Sly 3 we get high-stake situations akin to the ClockLa saga, like the Dragon snatching Penelope, but because it's crammed between episodes instead of games, the characters come out of it seemingly unfazed. the complete lack of recognition for all of this makes it seem like Sly is an awful leader for the gang. like i think Penelope would genuinely snap when she got taken hostage by LeFwee after the dragon thing.

i think the internal politics of the gang could have been explored way better but i understand that juggling that and the introduction of one new character per episode would be impossible. i'd love to see Bentley confronting Sly, Murray realising that he's getting more support about what matters to him (the van, the Guru's wellbeing) from the literal strangers they've recruited than his best friends, Sly realising that his lack of involvement in the gang's friendship is what turned Dr Michael against ConnEr. maybe Honour Among Thieves could have been a two-parter honestly. maybe the Dimitri Dr Michael piranha hybrid bossfight should have never made the cut.

important Pride content

What your favorite Sly Cooper ship says about you

I was bored during the self-quarantine, so I decided to ripoff @doubleca5t​

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Sly/Carmelita: You think that the only thing that could possibly have made Lupin the 3rd better would be if Lupin and Zenigata really wanted to fuck each other.

Bentley/Penelope: You think the concept of “opposites attract” is highly overrated. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Murray/Penelope: You think that the concept of “opposites attract” could not be rated highly enough. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Sly/Bentley: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of jumping and pressing the circle-button.

Sly/Murray: Your ideal relationship dynamic involves wacky hijinks, after which, hilarity ensues.

Bentley/Murray: Your ideal relationship dynamic is Nerd and Jock. And by Nerd and Jock I mean that really wholesome Webtoon comic-series.

Bentley/Dimitri: Your ideal relationship dynamic is nerd and theater-kid. And you’re a scalie.

Sly/Bentley/Murray: You think the only way that the found-family trope could possibly be improved is if it involved a polycule.

Sly/Penelope: You are the author of a Sly Cooper/Sailor Moon crossover-AU, wherein Penelope portrays Usagi and Sly portrays Tuxedo Mask. And you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Carmelita/Penelope: You think it’s a real shame that Sly 3 doesn’t pass the Bechdel-test. You probably also think that the redesigns in Thieves in Time were either too horny or not horny enough.

Carmelita/Contessa: Looking back on your childhood you can pinpoint Sly 2: Band of Thieves as the catalyst of your hypnosis fetish.

Sly/Panda-King: Your ideal relationship dynamic is enemies to friends to lovers.

Murray/Panda-King: You’re always a sucker for bara. Especially when one of them is a literal bear.

Murray/Muggshot: Same with Murray/Panda-King except you’re also into BDSM.

Dimitri/Mz. Ruby: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of vogueing. And you’re a scalie.

Carmelita/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM, despite never having tried it

Sly/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM, despite never having tried it, AND you’re heterosexual.

Dimitri/Neyla: You’re really into BDSM and have probably tried it.

Neyla/Penelope: You are the rare breed of person who thought Penelope’s betrayal in Thieves in Time might have actually made too much sense. 

Neyla/Contessa: You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of police corruption. And you probably have a hypnosis fetish.

Neyla/Clockwerk: You’re into BDSM, upgraded your hypnosis fetish to a mind-rape fetish, and you’re into vore. Among other things…

Murray/Dimitri: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of a “Barney the Dinosaur” origin story.

Dimitri/Penelope: You are Dimitri Lousteau, and you probably really hate Thieves in Time.

Also, it goes without saying that if you like any of these ships, you’re a furry.