Host: Welcome To Red Lobster, How Many?

“We just saw, a second ago, Tony with Peter Parker’s photo. Clearly, this is like his other child that he’s lost and that spurs him to action. Makes him consider that, you know, even though he has this child, he still lost a child, and there may be potential to bring that other child back, and he’s now in conflict.” - Joe Russo, Endgame Director’s Commentary

A raccoon, a tree and a disney princess

Venom: I'm a bad motherfucker mmkay? I'll eat HER head, I'll eat HIS head, I'll eat MY OWN head. I don't care about anything or anyone so fuck this planet and fuck you in particular you're sushi for the taking

Eddie: *walks in, stumbles and falls flat on his face*

Venom:

Venom: Look I'm the softest bitch you'll ever meet all I wanna do is eat chocolate marry this human trashbag over there and have like six kids

I know that Eddie and Venom's relationship has many fascinating complexities, but all I can think of is dumb shit like this:

Venom: "E D D I E"

Venom: "We need to watch some cat vines now, Eddie."

Venom: "Open up your computer and take us to the cat vines."

Eddie, his knuckles white as he clutches his pillow: "I have an interview at 9 AM --"

Venom: "WE WILL WATCH THE CAT VINES."

Venom: "OR WE WILL EAT AN ACTUAL CAT."

Shuri: *eats a cinnamon roll*

Peter: Cannibalism

Shuri:

venom:

eddie brock and all you other monster fuckers:

reblog or like

for some reason i have this weird headcanon peter always calls tony his friend to annoy him?? like peter is late to school one day because he spent the night at the tower and he, tony, and rhodey stayed up watching star wars and didn’t go to bed until like three am, so tony has to go sign peter in and beg the school not to let may parker know her nephew missed his first two classes and when they get there the office ladies are like ?? shook ?? bc thats TONY STARK ?? so they ask peter ‘uh whos this’ and peter, who has this starbucks drink with so much whipped cream on it and is wearing either one of tony or rhodeys mit sweatshirts, he can’t remember but it’s comfortable and plays into his aesthetic, just nonchalantly goes 'oh. this is my friend, tony. you know him?’ and tony looks up from where he’s signing the little sheet thing and glares at peter with a look that screams what did you just say?? i am your FUCKING FATHER FIGU- MENTOR I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR SUIT YOUNG MAN