Scott: Look, I Might Not Be A Saint, But It’s Not Like I’ve Killed Anybody. I’m Not An Arsonist.

Tony: What are the symptoms of teenage depression?

Shuri: Why are you asking me?

Tony: Peter was doing laundry earlier and he dropped a sock and I heard him say ‘why has god forsaken me’

Eddie: *exists*

Venom: 

Tony on his computer: Hey Pepper?

Pepper: If you’re gonna ask me if Peter would like one of those giant stuffed animals you got me the answer is no he wouldn’t

Tony: ….

Tony adding it to his cart: No I’m pretty sure he’ll like it

wanda maximoff: watched her parents die from a bomb created by stark industries

tony stark: watched his parents get brutally murdered by a man standing 10 feet away from him

wanda maximoff: is pardoned for wanting revenge against tony stark for what he did

tony stark: is a villain for wanting revenge against bucky for what he did

t’challa: watched his father die by a framed bucky barnes

tony stark: watched his mother die by bucky barnes

t’challa: gets to spend the entire film genuinely trying to kill bucky for revenge

tony stark: is a villain for BLATANTLY holding back in a fight due to his reaction to watching the most disturbing and fucked up thing in his life

bucky barnes: mentally manipulated into doing tasks against his will

tony stark: mentally manipulated into doing self-destructive tasks

bucky barnes: is [rightfully] pardoned for years of being a deadly assassin

tony stark: is a villain for creating something to protect earth that eventually backfired

natasha romanova and wanda maximoff: both willingly worked for the bad guys

tony stark: was unaware that his partner and friend had been selling his weapons to the bad guys

natasha romanova and wanda maximoff: get pardoned for the blood on their hands when they join shield/the avengers

tony stark: is a villain for the weapons that obadiah sold to the bad guys despite immediately getting upset about it and confronting him about it

steve rogers: throws an entire trailer at peter without knowing if he has super strength

tony stark: says that they need to hold wanda accountable for her mistakes

steve rogers: gets praised for saying she’s “just a kid” in defending her horrendous mistakes despite her age and the destruction she caused before

tony stark: is a villain for bringing peter to “web them up” and making peter leave the battle the moment he gets hurt

wanda maximoff: never has to own up to working for hydra, manipulating every member of the avengers, or triggering the hulk into destroying a civilian city under her control, joining alongside ultron until she does one good thing, essentially being the cause of all the death and destruction in aou, and eventually not being able to control her powers in lagos that she previously had total control over, which resulted in deaths upon deaths, and also gets to watch the hulk take all the burn and blame for the city she made him destroy

tony stark: literally is held accountable for every single action made by himself along with maximoff and every other avenger, tries his hardest to work alongside ross and 117 countries that all demand superhero registration through the accords as voted for in the UN, despite knowing how much a lot of his team would reject such idea

wanda maximoff: is just a 26 year old kid!

tony stark: is a villain for trying to find a middle ground between selfish team members who refused to be held accountable for being dangerous people and the 117 countries around the world that want them to be held accountable since they’re all powerful & dangerous people (a lot of which have bad histories, see: wanda) who shouldnt be allowed to just freely use their powers when they clearly pose to be a potential threat to the public

everyone else: gets to do shit

tony stark: is a villain for doing similar shit while also being the only one who fucking cares

The plot of literally every “Peter Parker goes on a field trip to Stark Industries” fanfic.

T'Challa: I never freeze

Okoye & Shuri:

eddie brock: ooo slime

eddie brock: *goes to play with slime*

venom: hi eddie

eddie brock: wtf

this is a good year

…….