Best Promo Squid

happy anniversary

hellsinker's manual is intentionally obtuse, in part for thematic reasons, but also in part to emulate the experience of trying to read the manual after buying a new game in an unfamiliar genre and forgetting like 90% of it before you play

in this section, tonnor finds the single most complicated possible way possible to explain "you have seven lives. if you get hit, you will lose one life."

this is followed by the single line

After the grizz fight

🦑 SNEAK PEEK 🐙

Welcome to the city of Splatsville, one of the most popular places in all of Inkadia! Some jellyfish over there seem to be holding something, I wonder what it reads?

doodle dump, some of these are from today some are from last month who knows (me, i know)

someone has had enough of cal's BS

dunno how to do full body that well

how i think the promo kids feel about each other because i can: the post.

veronika (ronnie)

on annie: we were...something in elementary. don't know what her deal is now

on yarr: cool dude. can clean the hell out of a weapon and is a good tableturf opponent

on steph: friends til the end. i help her, she helps me. i've only known her for a few months, but it feels like i've known her forever

cal: suuuper good cook and pretty skilled at chargers. i gave him the nickname cal and he really seems to like it.

on kay:

on hiro: he was the first person i met when i got to the splatlands. ever since then, we've had a pretty strong bond.

on tako: ...are you okay?

anenomeno1 (annie)

on ronnie: i will destroy you every chance i get and i hate you.

on yarr: you’re a nerd and a loser. also your glasses are stupid mine are better.

on steph: meh. (condescending)

on cal: you’re such a baby. i cant believe hiro put you as 2nd in charge. it should be me! IT SHOULD BE M

on kay: you’re so pretentious and i hate you. i hope your favorite thing gets as rating on some random rating site so you have to stop liking it.

on hiro: i just know youre a loser who pretends not to be. i know it. i know it. i could beat you up. (could not)

on tako: you get me. we’re best friends for life and forever. …maybe something even more?

yarrwhal (yarr)

on ronnie: i don’t know why she’s a casual player. she could totally rock the field with a just a jammed up splattershot.

on annie: …you can’t even see in those, dude.

on steph: 🤝

on cal: how is he so good at chargers? shouldn’t he be, like, in school? he’s like 12.

on kay: do not touch me do not look at me i don’t want to be associated with you sorry

on hiro: turf master to turf master—you’re cool. we should play in a tourney together.

on tako: the enemy of my enemy is my friend…? actually no that doesn’t sound right.

stephanie (steph)

on ronnie: yo!!!! it’s always so nice to see you! friends til the end.

on annie: you should get help. (well-intentioned)

on yarr: 🤝

on cal: you should cook for me us more often. please? please.

on kay: annoying.

on hiro: we could kill so many people together.

on tako: why do you keep staring at me?

c4l4m4r (cal)

on ronnie: i appreciate the compliment, but i’m really not good at either. luck, i guess?

on annie: hiro told me not to talk to you. sorry :(

on yarr: do you really think i'm that good? :0 you're way better!

on steph: ehehe i'm glad you like my cooking! i'll make sure to always make seconds for you! :]

on kay: (indifferent.)

on hiro: i'll do my best!

on tako: i am NOT a BABY!! :(

kayoss (kay)

on ronnie: oh, of course, the skilled spunky tomboy teenage girl who thinks she's 'just average'. sigh. boooring.

on annie: lol you'll like or dislike anything tako likes or dislikes, you shouldn't be speaking.

on yarr: ugh. i wasn't planning on getting near you anyway. you're stupid and i'm worried your stupidity will infect me

on steph: don't worry, i think you're annoying too

on cal: you're nothing but a baby. don't try and step to me.

on hiro: stop trying to be me. also ronnie will never love you back kthankbye <3

on tako: ugh. you again. get a life, girl

hirooooo (hiro)

on ronnie: hey girl are you. are you a girl because. are you you because. because i love you. i dont think im doing this right

on annie: no you could not beat me up and no i'm not putting you in charge.

on yarr: i agree. we'd make a good team. as long as i get to play with veronika...

on steph: true.

on cal: you're a natural leader! i know you'll go far in life, so don't ever think you won't

on kay: dude if i was you i would **** ******

on tako: what...happened to you?

takotruck (tako)

on ronnie: filthy casual not worth my time. you could never be me or compare to me, so stop trying 💖

on annie: you get me. it's kind of us against the world atp.

on yarr: don't speak to me. i do not respect you.

on steph: hey do you like girls. don't ask me why i'm asking.

on cal: you're a baby LMAOOOOOOO idk why hiro put you in charge

on kay: kys before i come to your house and do it for you.

on hiro: don't look at me. don't touch me. don't speak to me. i hate you and everything you and your little girlfriend stand for. i should kill you with my bare hands you fuc

cringe up and lock in

new perspective so sorry if it's a bit messy

"anemone why did you obliterate that unaware grizzco employee while we were in the desert"

reposting my bsky artworks hereI headcanon most of the promokids to hate the company behind salmon run

salmon run is my favorite splatoon gamemode due to it being the best 3d adaptation of a 2d shmup btw

say hi to tired as shit mecha software engineer ochre stella on the left and energetic dumbass mecha engineer azur stella on the right

ochre uses she/they

azur uses he/they