jiffygis

Latest Posts by jiffygis

too tired to make a post with real words so here's a meme

i feel like a trait of “tumblr sexyman” that’s getting lost as of late is. the incomprehensibility of it all. i will see characters who are just like, conventionally attractive anime men be referred to as sexymen and its like. no. no. like its not just “any dude some tumblr people lose their shit for”, a fundamental part of the experience of like, learning about tumblr sexyman is that your initial reaction to learning a character is a sexyman is to go “how the fuck could ANYONE ever find this sexy”. a shortstack funny comedy skeleton. a character from a dr seuss book whose only viewable limbs are their arms. the incredibly low poly model of a half life 1 security guard. your first reaction upon learning what the sexyman is should be confusion and bafflement. it’s core to the whole concept.

hey.. dont cry .. 8 million people on earth , ok ?

he fucking killed the other guy

collecting sad pathetic male characters like they are stuffed animals to arrange on my bed

I love them sm

once again, doodle dump!

horseman of pestilence

final of my horsemen of the apocalypse series

received this incomprehensible email from my ornithology professor

no context november. figure it out.

This is so pretty I love it sm <3 <3

Led through the mist by the milk light of moon / All that was lost is revealed

My commissions are open! DM me for more payment details! And you can also see more of my art on my Instagram (which has the same user as this acc).

Prices can be discussed in certain cases! Even if you are not interested or can't afford, you could really help me out with sharing with someone who might be :)

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader. Chapter 5 (PT. 2)

Notes: more vomit at the end lmao.

Looking at you with a worried look on his face, Doe quickly nodded at you. As you were pushing yourself against the wall, he slowly put a hand on your back and slowly started rubbing it, as if to help you feel better. His touch felt uneasy and rigid, almost as if he was touching something very delicate, unsure of it. You appreciated his hesitance to touch you even in this situation, and you didn't mind, it was necessary after all.

-are you here by yourself?- you asked Doe. You knew you shouldn't judge or assume things, you weren't, but a person like Doe just seemed out of place in a site like this. For what you could tell in your few weeks of knowing him, he wasn't a party person.

-I came here with a friend, but they already left without me- he said. That was a lie, little did he know he came here for just a reason, you.

When Doe didn't see your usual presence in the subway, waiting for it to take you home, he wondered where you were. He knew your routine wasn't super strict, and sometimes you would go out of your way to hang out with that friend of yours or visit the bazar or even just walk around the city. These times, however, he had to make sure you arrived safe wherever you were going.

And while Doe isn't a magician to know your exact location every single time of the day, he could easily find you. After all, traveling long distances wasn't a big deal for him when it came to you. It was his top priority after all, you were.

Doe didn't frequent these kind of places, filled to the brim with intoxicated people fucking each other in the living room table. He wasn't a saint that hated people and refused to drink or take drugs, but he also wasn't usually eager about it; now he wanted to know your reason to come here. When you got here, he was just waiting to see what you would do. You sure seemed hesitant, ready to leave this place right then and there, and he was more than ready to provide you with an escape from here, in fact he was happy you seemed distressed at first, because he could hop in and help you. He had already seen you reject a guy, so when the second guy approached he thought of the same outcome, but then you were laughing at his comments and you were adding to the conversation instead of replying with monosyllables to end the chit chat; was it the effect of the beer in your hand?.  Soon enough he stood up to offer you a hand, and Doe couldn't help but stare. He saw you hesitating in your seat, then looking around, were you looking for aid? Was the man in front of you making you uncomfortable? If he hopped in right now maybe you-

And there, you stood up with him. Was it because of the pressure?... No, you looked willing, shy but not anxious, he could even see a glimpse of eagerness in you. He felt down, but more than that, he felt angry, not at you, he could never feel that towards you, but at him. In his mind, that man was just a play. Of course, find some girl that's uncomfortably sitting by herself in a big party, joke around a little and you have her. Not because she wants, but because she doesn't have many options.

As he observed you both, the more he fell for you and the more he hated him. You turned into a different person, a confident one but you didn't lose yourself, you were just as funny and kind. Oh how he would love to see you like this in a different situation, the situation being you with Doe and not with a stranger.

It however started to escalate, you turned from confident to bold and it just kept going. You were dancing with strangers, you were wobbly and the words coming from your mouth were inconsistent. You were drunk, very drunk and all he could see was how close that man kept you. You wouldn't notice, of course you wouldn't in this state, but he did. The way he was looking at you, smiling at you... It made him furious, so much he wanted to step in right then and there, but then you would be taken back by that, after all you were having fun.

But as time passed, you left that man to go and be by yourself. Searching for you friend, not being able to even stand, and the way you grew so quiet...

When he saw you on the floor, he knew no one would approach you, you needed help. It was such a good thing he was there, just for you.

His answer shook you a little, but you quickly let it go. Of course he had friends, he wasn't just an NPC that frequented the Gas station you worked at, he had his own personal life outside from the interactions you both had. You were just grateful you were lucky enough to come across him, it's not like he was your absolute best friend who you trusted the most, but at least he was a familiar face, you knew you could trust him a bit more than the rest of strangers.

He was helping you walk straight to the entrance, you were leaving. You'd apologize to Faye for leaving without her later, right now you needed a rest, surely she would understand when you explained that to her. But just as you both were walking, Lucian intercepted. Right, you had left him playing cups by himself.

-Hey (y/n)!... Is everything ok?? I lost sight of you and I was worried you had left already- you grew embarrassed, you had left him without even telling him where you were going and now you were leaving with Doe.

Trying to sound as sober as you could, you spoke, -I'm sorry, I'm just feeling tired and sick- you said. He didn't bother you, but you just wanted to get out of there before you fucking fainted or something. -You should've said that before! I brought my car, I could take you- cutting him off Doe spoke, -Well, it was nice meeting you but we really need to get going now- he said, as he continued to walk. You couldn't even say anything, it made you feel bad but it didn't matter anyways, for fucks sake let's just get out.

-Hey, hold it- Lucian said, grabbing your wrist, -Do you know him?- you were about to answer that yes, you did know him, simple as that, then you both could leave, but you paused for a second. As you looked at Doe for confirmation, you saw how he angrily stared at his hand, his eyes were pierced on Lucian's grab on you; you almost wondered if he was choping his hand right now in his head because of how intensely he was looking .  It was scary, it was almost as if you were looking at a totally different person; the Doe you knew was akward, always showing you a smile, but this one looked filled with anger. In just a millisecond, you noticed how his face scrunched up, you were sure he was about to scream at Lucian or something, so before anything you grabbed Lucian's hand yourself. Your grip was gentle, but nudging to make him let go, -I know him, he's a friend of mine- Lucian turned his view from Doe to you, staring a bit before trusting in your word and letting go.

"Friend", your words repeated over and over in Doe's head and to every "friend" from you he heard, his response was "we could be more". Even so, his expression quickly changed, it softened and turned into a small grin that widened when you took that man's hand away from your arm. It felt good, that you chose him over that stranger, that you moved from his grip but had no problem with his, he felt like he had won  a world cup, but you were far better than any pointless prize anyone else could offer.

As Lucian let go of you, he turned to Doe and said -take care of her-. Doe couldn't give less of a shit about what he had to say, but he wasn't mad anymore, the man in front of you wasn't a threat anymore, therefore he didn't care enough about him. He didn't respond, just gave a quick, half assed nod and kept on walking with you, finally leaving the house.

Oh how happy he was! You preferred that he took you home instead of that clown, you chose him! How, how happy he was.

His cheery thoughts were interrupted by your hand clutching onto his arm, making him momentarily let go of you as you threw yourself onto the floor. Your stomach had given up, you were now spilling your guts in some random sidewalk. He slowly ducked beside you, as he carefully removed strands of hair from your face and patted your back carefully. As you stopped and gasped for air, he used his sleeve to slowly clean up the fluids from your face, but far from feeling grossed out, he did it gladly, after all they were yours, and even at your "worst", you looked like the most beautiful being in his eyes.

Oh how vulnerable and fragile you looked right now, your strong presence became so small, almost invisible; he could leave you here right now and no one would bother to stop and help you, help a nobody.

But he was with you, and he would take great care of you, this night was just part of it.

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader. Chapter 5 (PT. 1)

Notes: this chapter has some mentions of vulture culture and vomit.

-Damn it Lucas, what the hell is this??!- you said dropping the small jar he handed over to you. Surprised and startled, he quickly grabbed it before it touched the floor. -Y/N be careful!... Dude this costed me a fucking rib and an eye, do you know how hard it was??-.

The order you had made a few nights ago was ready. A protection charm... But this is definitely not what you wanted. Inside of the jar, submerged in a strange liquid surrounded by whatever the hell those things were, maybe plants or something, was a cat eye. You knew about vulture culture and even indulged a bit in it, but it took you by surprise and uneasiness, because you didn't know how this poor creature was obtained. You felt sick.

Almost as if he could read your mind, he looked at you and started speaking. -Look I know you really care about animals so I assure you, he was already sick and died naturally. You know I never sacrifice animals for my spells- he explained. Hearing the explanation put you at ease. You trusted him, and trusted his morals. He would never actually hurt an animal for the sake of a spell, he respected nature.

You stared at him, then at the jar and sighed, -yeah, you're right... Sorry I almost dropped it-. He handed it back over to you, this time you took it carefully into your hands. You still felt uneasy, however, because a small part of you wanted to believe that what he was saying wasn't true, but that's just a stupid intrusive thought, he was no liar.

-...why the cat eye tho?- you curiously asked while putting the jar at the height of your eye to see it closely. It was a blue eye, you could just imagine how beautiful this colour would've looked... If it was still in the cat's socket, that is.

Lucas began to explain, -cats have a special sixth sense, which allows them to sense and warn you about supernatural beings. Not only that, but they can detect negative forces that endanger your balance and well-being-. You nodded your head, taking in the information. -I could've just got a cat then...- -that is an option, yes but I made this jar for you because I know it will help you more than a cat.- he calmly explained. You just nodded your head.

-(y/n) I swear to god if you don't take that shit off of my face I'll throw it outside the window- Faye said, eyes not leaving the road as she drove you both to her house. -Hey don't be rude, I'm just showing you...- you said, putting you jar back between your legs while you kept on staring at it. She had just picked you up from the bazar, turns out she was close and offered you a ride. After a moment of silence, almost as if she was thinking about her words, Faye began to speak, -Look, you know I know you always take the best decisions for yourself... but I think carrying that around is a bit too much. If you don't feel safe, maybe I can spend more time with you, buy pepper spray or something but don't carry around that- you knew what she meant. She didn't like the jar Lucas had made for you, she felt uneasy with you carrying around that thing but after all, she wasn't the one carrying it, she didn't even have to look at it if she didn't want to. You didn't answer to that comment.

Faye wasn't the spiritual type. Sure, she believed in what she saw and what she was told about, if shown proof, but she wasn't the type to believe in spells and magic and stuff. In her mind, even ghosts made more sense than that.

She sensed the silence that followed. Had she been rude? She didn't say anything with ill intent, in fact she just wanted to help you out in a more direct way. -... but hey (y/n), if the jar makes you feel more at ease, maybe you should keep holding onto it- she said, smiling at you. You smiled back.

You've always been particularly good with places. You didn't know the names of the streets but you could point where you were in a map, so you noticed very quickly, that the turn Faye had just taken wasn't the one that lead to her house. You weren't freaked out, you weren't scared, but you were pretty confused so you decided to ask, -Faye? Where are we going?-, it took her a bit of thinking before she calmly answered to your question -I think that you've been too stressed these days. Just last week you claimed your boss had fired you when she hadn't even talked to you and now you're carrying a cat eye...- she sighed before continuing, -a friend of mine is having a party at his house right now. It's gonna be chill, nothing too extra so don't worry, but I want you to get there and just have fun, you know? Maybe get out of your mind for a bit.- This made you tense, you hadn't planned on this, in fact you already had a date with the oh so comfortable couch and chewing ice while watching horror videos or something in Faye's house. You wanted to watch "top 10" videos or that kind of crap, not this. -Faye... I don't know, I'm not sure I wanna talk to anyone else but you right now. Maybe we can go to a party tomorrow?- -dude do you think I get invited to parties everyday? Come on- she said, extending the "on", -It'll be fun! And if you don't feel comfortable, we'll go to my house and have a sleep over, just you and me. What do you say?- ... oh how could you say no to those puppy eyes? -how can I say no to those puppy eyes? Fine, we'll go.- you said, letting her win this time. She smiled in triumph.

You regretted this, you regretted listening to Faye and coming here. The party started just like she promised, there weren't many people and it was all calm, but after a good 30 minutes or so the party started to get bigger. More cars started to park in front of the house, more people with drinks started to arrive and you kind of just sat there, with a beer in your hand as you saw others dancing.

The beer tasted horrible and you were too akward to go dance, no one was happy with this, but going to Faye wasn't an option. Sure, she had told you to tell her the minute you wanted to leave, but you saw her there, surrounded by people and looking like she was having the most fun she had had in weeks. No sleepover with you would have her like this, no sleepover with you would be as fun as this was for her. You didn't feel bad or sad, you just felt lame that you weren't having as much fun as the others.

Of course you knew the implications of parties this big, so people talking to you didn't bother you at this point, and when the second guy in the night approached you, you already had your internal monologue ready. -hey! Do you wanna dance?- he asked, sitting dow beside you, -no thanks, I'm here with a friend- you said politely. -who? Maybe I know the person- he asked. Without thinking it twice, you just let your mouth run, -I'm with Faye- you said, turning up your voice volume so he could hear you well. -oh I know her, she's friends with the owner of this house. But I haven't seen her around you since you arrived- -well for how long have you been watching us?- you asked in a genuine tone, -long enough to notice you haven't been having fun.- you laughed at this, he was right. -beer sucks and I can't dance - you explained, -beer isn't the best choice, you can make yourself a drink, there's vodka, whisky and soda, so you can mix it- he said, pointing at the drinks table. -here, I'll teach you-, he stood up and turned to look at you. You sat there for a second, at that moment, the moment he stood up and turned to you, you felt a chill run up your spine, but it wasn't caused by the man in front of you. You looked around, nothing seemed out of place, everyone was having fun in their own world. Then why did it feel like a hundred eyes were looking at you? Burning on you and your every move. Something told you to sit there, stay there and ignore the man. Not for your own good, but for his.

The hesitance made him unsure, but just as he was about to open his mouth, well...

Fuck it, you were allowed to have fun too, enough with being miserable in the corner. You stood up and smiled at him, -sure, let's go-.

You started with a simple drink as he explained to you why you shouldn't mix alcohols, and just stick to one if you didn't wanna end up on the floor. You were on your third drink now, not enough to get you drunk but enough to give you confidence to start dancing with people. The man you were with laughed at this, how you started shyly sitting in a chair eager to leave and now you were having fun without a worry in the world, it was fun watching you unfold with confidence and turn into a different version of yourself.

He, however, didn't find it funny at all that some jackass was keeping an eye on you. You crearly didn't want to be there, and getting you drunk wasn't for you to have fun, it was for his own benefit. You were smarter than this, so he was surprised when he saw you standing up to go with that man. Oh you didn't have to fit in, you didn't have to go and pretend to be someone you're not and talk with people who didn't even deserve for you to look at. But that's why he was here for, for you, just waiting for the right moment.

Thank god Faye made you go out. You loved her for this, you could go and kiss her right now, in fact where was she?. You hadn't had this much fun in ages! And everyone was being so nice to you. Turns out it wasn't that bad, you were just overthinking stuff. Sure, watching true crime in your best friend's house sounded like a blast, but this? This was by far better than that.

The alcohol had gotten into your brain not too long ago, and you were a completely different person by the time the house was full of guests. You lost sight of Faye, the last time you saw her was when you went up to her and showed her your new friend, whom she already knew, Lucian. All she said was "you're in good hands" before going back to her own thing.

Right now you were learning how to play cups while Lucian was teaching you. -so wherever the ball lands, I have to drink the cup?- you asked, -exactly, now try to throw the ball just how I taught you- he said, placing a small pong ball in your hand. You threw it, the ball hit the border of a cup and flew away from them. Damn you were bad at this. -Don't worry, it takes practice- he said, before placing himself in front of the table and throwing his shot. You let him be, you needed a break.

You sat down, watching as he did his own thing. You were starting to get dizzy, and it was difficult to stand up straight, damn it you shouldn't have mixed alcohols just like Lucian told you...

Everything was starting to become a background noise, and suddenly you grew quiet in order to not babble nonsense. You needed to pee, really bad. You didn't know where the bathroom was but you would figure it out on the way... If you could walk without falling in the first place. You needed Faye, you didn't know for what but you needed her, so you started calling out for her with no answer but weirded out looks.

You couldn't help yourself for too long, and soon you fell to the floor, resting your back in the wall. You were peeing yourself, and not in the figurative way, you could literally feel small drops of pee coming out as your drunk self was desperately trying to hold it in. God you looked so pathetic. Your dress was now wet from when you were trying to pour yourself water earlier but you kept missing the cup, your eyelids were fighting to stay open and you must smell like pee at this point. You couldn't even stand up or even sit down straight anymore. You just hoped people wouldn't look down on you and just ignore you at this point.

...

You had to puke.

Fuck why couldn't your body work with you for once? Now you actually needed to get to a bathroom before you emptied yourself in some random person's wooden floor. You swore this was the last time you would ever listen to Faye. Ok, you can do this, at the count of three. One, Two... -you need any help?- said a familiar high pitched voice in a low, almost worried tone. As you looked up and locked eyes with him, you felt like crying, "god I hope I die and get swallowed by dirt"; alas, you didn't die and get swallowed by earth during those 4 seconds of silence. "Fuck you, God" you thought, as if this was actually anyone else's fault and not yours and your dumbass.

Doe carefully helped you up while you just spluttered apologies.

-I'm so sorry you have to see me like this- -It's no problem, really. I don't mind- he answered. That was a lie, of course it bothered him seeing you like this, in such a bad condition.

He helped you to the bathroom, waited for you outside as he heard you spilling your guts from the other side of the door. You hated this, but not as much as he did, he hated seeing you sick and in discomfort.

He offered you help, you instantly refused saying you could handle this. You couldn't, you preferred to die than to keep feeling this shitty, you just didn't want him to keep an image of you like this in his head; sitting in the bathroom in order to not pee yourself while holding the trashcan in your arms to puke, you must look disgusting.

A few minutes passed before you came out of the bathroom, Doe was still waiting for you as he turned to look at you. You looked back at him,

-I know this is too much to ask, but do you think you could take me home?-

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader. Chapter 4

Notes: This is a short chapter.

When **** appears, it means a trigger warning. Very graphic depictions of self harm through the whole paragraph. Nothing actually happens if you skip the paragraph.

The Uncanny Valley was by no means a normal place. It was weird, and contrasting between its inhabitants.

You could get in there, tho not very easily, and rumor had it you could also leave the place if so you wished.

This didn't apply to everyone tho, the mere presence of this place carried a curse within. If so decided to give up a dollop of itself to briskly conceive your existence, you would never be able to leave the place. What begins there, stays and ends there.

There were rules, of course but not any set of rules... Oh, you were expecting to hear them? No, they cannot be spoken nor written.

Various realities could be created inside the place, and the most powerful ones could create realities inside realities, but being able to even do the first to begin with was weird enough.

A shapeshifter, a reality warper with a bit too much free time on his hands. Time as a construct meant nothing, because time is free, time is manipulable if you knew how to bargain with it and in the end of the day, you only need to know how to reach an agreement with it and it'll work in your favour.

The man knew time too well, so much that it stopped being relevant for him, and he could be usually found trying to kill the excess of time he had.

This aimless behaviour tho, turned dull way too quickly. He truly felt like a walking corpse, and none of his abilities could make him feel like before, not even the least excited as they used to before.

The man wasn't one to analyse his emotions, he wouldn't stop to try and solve the tangled mess they were becoming in a healthy way, he didn't know how to and it wasn't common in that place to even try.

****

He did try many ways, however, of being able to temporarily fill the need for something new. One that he found still had some kind of effect was cutting himself. The visceral pleasure he used to feel when the cold, sharp blade slowly opened through his skin, letting his insides breathe and his thick,  incarcerated blood slowly made its way through the fibrous layers of skin, deep enough to cause great bleeding but not to show the bone. The rousing feeling and ravenous way of slicing through his skin, however, was loosing effect after time. It really wasn't, but he felt like that because it didn't matter how much he would cut himself or in what way he did, it never felt as amazing as the first time. Even when there was no space left and he had to cut over healed cuts, even when the cut showed a white layer that wasn't bone, or even when the bone showed and he had to stitch himself, it never felt as good.

****

He was not unfamiliar to "love" either, or what he thought was. He had never felt actual love, hence he had the idea that love was boring and never long lasting.

He had experimented different stuff with various people, but in the end either the other person would break it off because of how distant he was, or he would just ghost them as he wasn't good with goodbyes.

He had never felt love at first sight, yet he thought he had, mistaking it for some kind of attraction. No one teaches you how to love or how to identify the treacherous feeling, alas you have to learn through experience.

He was no stranger to adrenaline, however, and always tried to do different stuff that had his blood pumping. He loved horror,  he loved the woods and he loved attraction parks amongst other things that he could find along his adrenaline seeking way.

Drugs? Of course he had tried them, but it's like going towards the ocean and pouring a pinch of salt into it to make it more salty, who the hell needed drugs when you literally lived in uncanny valley?? That place itself is on drugs.

Every day (or when he wanted to), he would go outside. Sometimes in search for thrill, other times just because he liked seeing people pass by, either way he would spend hours outside.

That fateful day was no exception. It was a normal, under what can be considered normal in that place, clear evening. He left his place early that day, same mindset as every other day.

On his way towards not-even-he-knows where, he almost tripped when he caught glimpse of a well known man around the place. He wasn't popular or anything, just very fucking odd.

"He looks thrilled..." That meant he had met a new victim. The dude was weird but knew how to lure people in. His name? Maison Talo, uncanny valley's number one realtor... Or that's how he presented himself.

He knew Mason. In fact he (mason) once approached him but any inhabitant of the place knew better than to have anything to do with him, hence he always found preys in new people who didn't know what was going on around the place.

No harsh feelings existed towards the man, but he preferred not to interact with him as he just walked past without even turning to look around.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was already afternoon, the sun was starting to go down when he found himself walking around the city. While eating wasn't incredibly necessary for him, sometimes he liked to feel the flavour in his mouth, so he was currently searching for a place to eat.

A few meters away from him, was a medium height shape, hurriedly walking towards somewhere, as if in a hurry.

Hair already messy, face a bit sweaty and make up already kind of messed up, wearing a cheap sweet perfume which fragance was already almost lost.

If you were to ask him now if he could go back to that day and stay inside, would he do it? His answer would be pretty ambiguous, but it would stop in the same conclusion, "never".

But this train of thought would appear later.

As of now, that girl with cheap perfume almost hit his shoulder but quickly dodged, not even turning to apologize, she was wayyy too deep into her mind, lost in thought. While she didn't even turned to look at him, he was quick to raise his look and focus on that girl.

And God, was that an image.

Even as the girl walked away, he couldn't stop staring at her, he almost swore he had hearts in his eyes.

The feeling both made him a bit anxious but mostly it made him feel incredible, why? Because he had never felt such delicate warm unfold from within him, it was a new emotion and he felt so excited, he finally found what he had been searching for.

But as the girl continued walking and started to fade amongst the people and distance, he grew scared. She was stealing from him, she was walking away and taking that feeling with her. He wouldn't allow it, he wouldn't let her get away. He had to follow her.

Doe had to follow her and get back that feeling she had just stolen. No matter what.

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader. Chapter 3

No notes for this chapter, other than a reminder that in wattpad (CassTea) as well as in AO3 (GisLikesTea) this fanfic is already in chapter 6. It's a bit hard for me to post in Tumblr, so if you it's wanna read more of this you know where you can find more :)

With many unread messages and 14 missed voice calls that invaded your phone for a whole hour, unnoticed because you were stuck with that weird looking dude in the subway, you were now standing in front of your manager in the gas station. You certainly didn't have anything against her, but she wasn't exactly friendly sometimes. It didn't seem to be personal tho. She was a tired mother of 5 little pieces of hell, you understood her bad mood sometimes.

She was staring at you, as if you had just stolen all her money and her dog.

Behind her, still behind the cashier was Lydia, your coworker. She had a weird look in her eyes, a mix from "I understand" and "I hope you literally collapse right here right now".

- I'm just hearing right now this isn't your first time arriving late - your manager directed her head towards you.

- Yes, miss I'm sorry it's just that sometimes I- - I'm not the one you should be apologizing to - she said in a mad voice tone. She continued, - I understand that we're not all absolutely perfect but your co-workers are not responsible for whatever you do. Have you ever stopped to think about the stuff they have to do?? That they're also busy?- she said. You just looked down, maybe you had thought about that, but in the end you didn't do anything to change your behaviour.

- Lydia - your manager started to talk yet again - called me because she just didn't know what to do! (Y/N) you didn't reply to any messages, you didn't respond to any calls- just look at your phone! Look at it, I want you to tell me how many calls you got - she said pointing at your phone, you slowly lifted it up and unlocked the screen. -...fourteen- you slowly spoke. She just stared at you for a small moment, then sighed and took her hand up to her face, covering her eyes and letting out a tired sigh. Everyone stood quiet, she was thinking and you and Lydia just didn't know what to say. - and you didn't just arrive 30 minutes late, you got here 2 and a half hours late...- she said, more to herself than towards you but you did understood the gravity of the situation you had gotten yourself into. You wished you could say it wasn't your fault... This time. That you were stuck in the subway for God knows how long with this creepy and weird dude but... The whole situation just dictated you fell asleep and was having a hyperealistic dream, after all the whole ordeal was impossible.

After a while, she spoke again - sorry, (Y/N) but...- your heart started racing and your eyes tearing up. You knew what she was gonna say, but you needed to stop her. You couldn't loose this job, you truly couldn't afford it right now. Her words were coming out faster that your thoughts tho, -This isn't your first incident and I need to protect the time of all of my employers, so I need to let you...-  you were about to speak, to beg her to stop and assure her this would be the last time, that this would never happen again, but a certain someone jumped faster to your aid than you. Before she could finish, a loud crash came from the fridges, as if many glass bottles had fallen to the ground and made a huge mess. You jumped at the sudden sound because of how tense you were at the current situation.

Before anyone could even process what had just happened, you heard a high pitched voice... one that was way too familiar, exclaiming in pain. Immediately the three of you headed towards the source of the loud sound.

Standing there was a tall, almost lanky figure with long, really long hair. You knew him, you knew who he was... But your brain couldn't point it out, right now he was just a complete stranger to you, one that you knew from up close.

He was looking down at the mess... Smiling. His smile relaxed a bit when he turned to look at you, almost as if a kid was trying to hide a bad thing they did. This all happened in less than a second, but you saw it all clearly. Your manager and Lydia, however, did not notice the mischievous smile and instead were met with a surprised almost scared look and a surprise exclamation, which then turned into a pained one.

His hand was bleeding, it seems while trying to catch the bottles in order for them not to break, one of them broke in his hand.

- Sir! Are you ok?! - said your manager, quickly turning her body from yours and running to aid the man. He didn't say a word tho, and instead backed away from her, with an almost mad look. - you should really check on your stuff, ma'm. As soon as I opened the door it all came crashing down!! - he said. She started to apologize, something you didn't saw often but this time the client was actually hurt, she didn't want to catch a case. - I'm sorry sir, do you need an ambulance?? -, well that was too much - it's just a cut, not too deep or wide - he said, pissed off. She just nodded and agreed with him, then turned towards you and Lydia, - Lydia! Please come clean this up. (Y/N), bring the first aid kit! - she ordered both of you. You moved fast, approaching him and carefully taking his hand to check on it. He was right, it wasn't too wide but it was quite deep.

- This way - you said pulling him towards the bathroom. It was small but not extremely, it was enough.

You closed the toilet seat and sat him down over it. He was holding his hand up, close to his chest like a hurt puppy who was scared to hurt himself even more.

Moving some of his extremely long and tangled hair out of the way, you took his hand yet again; this time with a cloth soaked in hydrogen peroxide.

-This thing hurts less than alcohol, but it still will sting a bit so stay still- you pointed out.

The man in front of you seemed almost amused, rather than scared or in pain, in fact he was smiling and as soon as he turned to look up at you his smile widened, showing his teeth; you smiled back, a bit unsure tho. His attitude had completely changed from how he was defensive and mad out there towards your manager, and how he was looking at you like he didn't have a worry in the world. But it wasn't your job to psychoanalyse him, you just had to heal his wound, so you started doing that.

-ow- he said after you put the cloth over his wound. It didn't sound like a normal pained "ouch!", It sounded more like he said it just out of habit, he didn't even flinch.

First, you cleaned up the blood, which was quite a lot by now but nothing serious; it's like when you get a small cut but blood doesn't stop coming out. Afterwards you sprayed some microdacyn and cleaned up some more blood.

While bandaging his wound, you spoke, -This is to stop the bleeding and close the wound so that it doesn't get any bacteria. I don't have the resources right now but when you get home, if you have onions, take a thin layer of onion skin and put it over your wound, put a bandage over the onion and it's gonna help heal faster. Remember that you need to clean it up and change the bandages so that bacteria doesn't accumulate.- you sounded like a doctor, but you knew some tips here and there.

You turned to look at the man, your stomach churned when you met his eyes completely focused, engrossed by your figure as if he was seeing money fall from the sky.

You knew him, you could say that with certainty. If someone asked you about him you would say that, in fact, he was no stranger to you, but if they asked who he was or where you met your mind would be completely blank and you wouldn't be able to put together a solid answer, not even a half assed one.

A phrase that made your skin crawl, however, soon came out of his mouth, -Don't you remember me?- he said , -You looked so scared in the subway... do you like being scared?-. As much as you would've loved to run out of there, you stayed. -...uhm, sometimes? I think it depends.- his eyes sparkled for a second, amused, almost happy to hear that, -on what?- he asked, - I think on the situation? And the person- you answered. Before he could reply you opened the door, smiling at him; you just wanted to get out of there. You said, as loud as you could so that everyone in that store could hear you, -We're done! Don't worry about the bottles, you don't need to do anything about it-.

He stood up, looking confused but not surprised. Without a word, he left the bathroom.

You quickly went to look at your manager, earlier today she was the last person you wanted to see but right now you were begging to be as close to her as possible.

When you walked towards the fridges, however, you were surprised.

There was no one there, neither your manager or Lydia. There weren't any bottles in the floor, in fact they were all neatly placed in the fridge, almost as if nothing had happened.

-wh... how? They were just... they were right here- you said, both confused and scared.

-Are you ok?- that familiar voice asked.

-No! They... you saw them, didn't you? You saw they were here, they were right here cleaning up the mess-, the man did nothing but tilt his head with a confused smile. -Sorry, but who?-, "you have to be fucking around" we're the thoughts that started to float in your mind. You quickly turned on your phone to call Lydia but... there were no missed calls from today, not a single message from her. How was this possible? What was going on?

You sent her a text,

Y - Hey, where are you?

L - ???

Y - I just finished healing that guy, but I can't see you or Petra anywhere! Did you finish cleaning up?

L - wait did Petra show up today? ;0;

Y - ... you literally called her to come to the store

L - dude are you ok? Are you high again? Don't tell me you are

L - I thought you were over that

L - you cant show up to work like that, you'll get in trouble

L - I literally left work almost three hours ago now :P

You placed down the phone, trying to process what was happening.

After a couple minutes, you replied.

Y - you're right. Sorry, I fell asleep and mixed my dream with reality.

L - you should sleep more :/

You quickly went to search for that guy, he was roaming around, looking at the products. But he had the wound right there! You literally cleaned it and bandaged it not too long ago... then... it had to have happened, right? You arrived late and you were just in the process of getting fired when he showed up...

Slowly approaching, you were thinking carefully what to say.

- thank you- came out of your mouth.

-for what?- he asked

-... hey, I never got your name-

He fully turned his body towards you, almost as if he was waiting for this moment his whole life.

-You can just call me John Doe, or Doe if your prefer-

- It's good to finally know your name, Doe-

Jeff fanart??? In 2022??? Of course, this is Tumblr.

Listened to Monster by Dev on loop to add edginess 😈

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader.

So this is the chapter two of this fanfic. As always, it was originally written and posted first on wattpad (@CassTea) so you can find more chapters and faster updates in there.

No warmings for this chapter, and the reader is Female presenting.

Also, I added a small mention from my favourite book, with a mention of a character from it. Nobody seemed to notice it, so I may aswell just say it. I won't put the name of the book tho, I still hope to find someone that knows it lol.

Tangling your fingers, you stood in the cold and poorly lightened subway station. It was obvious how whoever was in charge, truly didn't care about giving maintenance to this old place; it had obviously seen better days, the traces of that were still there, hard to find but there if you looked right.

It wasn't way too early in the morning, of course, after all your shift started at 4 pm and ended at 11 pm, when your "co worker" (if you could call them that because you knew literally nothing about them) would arrive and take your place. Yet... It was way too empty. This was a busy hour, usually there were students, workers and many other people around, waiting to catch the bus but today, it was... You looked around. - It's literally empty...-

Soon after, the fast yet not too violent wind hit your face and scrambled your hair all over the place. This took you by surprise, you quickly stepped back with an exclamation, -JESUS FUCK-. You were so lost half in your thoughts and the rest on your phone, that you hadn't noticed how close you were to the edge. You were exactly stepping the yellow line that was there to warn you. It was a beautiful "I'm literally the most bright colour down here and you still can't see me dumbass" yellow.

This however, woke you up.

It was a weird phenomenon. When you used to go to school, you would sleep at 2 in the morning and wake up at 5 am. You were tired and cold all damn day. Now you had all the time in the world to sleep, but there wasn't enough time in the entire universe that could possibly be enough for you. You would usually sleep between 10 - 11 am and woke up at 2 pm to go to work. You sometimes pondered where the hell your time went, because you could somehow never seem to finish anything you started.

In your mind, those weird and tall gray men that deceitfully stole people's time making them believe they were actually investing it and saving it for later, were the ones who were taking it away from you, only in silence. You weren't accompanied by a turtle with a weird name tho.

- seriously, Casiopea?? I mean it's not bad but... - you were discussing the turtle's name with yourself as you set foot inside of the empty wagon. It didn't took you long to notice tho, only after the doors closed and you looked up did your eyes captured the body chilling image in front of you. It was empty, completely empty. There were times you had used the subway and there weren't many people, but it was never empty.

You calmed down, surely the other wagons were crowded but you were lucky enough to have a whole wagon to yourself? It was... Great! It was great.

You smiled and sighed, it wasn't too bad- you were just overthinking.

-I can sit wherever I want?- you held the power now. (Y/n) ruler of the empty wagon, magic less witch yet the most powerful sourcerer that would ever set foot in this old wagon.

You swinged yourself in the pole, then started to quietly sing a random song, which quickly turned into a full opera concert in which you played three roles: the singer, the public and the director.

You were having way too much fun over nothing, and you looked ridiculous without a doubt, but honestly you deserved it, you deserved a break.

The sudden stop of the subway took you by surprise and made you loose your balance. Had you already arrived? But that was way too fast!.

The doors hadn't open, it was weird. - Maybe some malfunction? Damn it, you were gonna arrive late. You threw yourself at one of the seats, huffing and crossing your arms. Such luck.

As if by your doing, the doors opened not soon after. Looking outside you could see how empty it still was.

A poisonous seed of fear was planted into your chest, liberating uneasiness and, of course, fear as soon as it bloomed.

The place was poorly iluminated by some led lights and dragged hollowness along with it. You never got down on this station, but you did knew it because of the subway always stopping to let some people out... But you could've sworn this was 5 more minutes up ahead; you were very familiar with your schedule and you knew the time it took from station to station.

A void started to fill your chest. This isn't right, no no it isn't. Something bad was about to happen, you could just feel it.

You stopped staring outside but you couldn't take your frozen hands off of the frame of the electric doors.

There was no one there, it was impossible for there to be any sort of sound yet the more time that passed, you could slowly start hearing whispers.

It took you a while to process the sounds, because you just couldn't- how? Who could possibly be talking? And it wasn't two or three people, it was a multitude. When you did notice tho, when you finished processing this, your stomach dropped.

You could've sworn you were seeing movement that shouldn't be there at the corner of your eye.

"Please, to whoever listens my full yet weak words, and whoever has the power to get a hold of this situation, help me".

You were so desperate for the doors closing that you started talking nonsense out of fear.

Who were you even talking to? Who were you asking help to? There was no one there. Your words, even if they had value and intention, they had no power.

If someone did heard you, however, they were a merciful being.

Creaking a little bit, you snapping your body back in, the metal doors closed. You kept on looking outside the window, watching how the dark and hollow station started to be left behind.

You stood there, sighing. You leaned over the door, feeling as if that small moment had taken years out of your lifespan, exhausted because of the amount of fear you had felt in such a short moment.

you hadn't noticed the new entity that had shaped it's form into the almost empty space in which you were now standing, but it wouldn't let you take too long since almost right after you turned your back to the door, you heard a small cling in one of the poles. Of course this didn't get a big reaction out of you because, well, you were in a subway after all, it wasn't weird to hear metal sounds. This, however would trigger a bigger reaction after the sound made you look up, at it was at that moment when you noticed the figure standing there, right hand holding onto the silver pole, left hand playing with it's fingers, standing in an awkward, curvated pose that obtruded with the position of their legs bending them in an awkward manner. They were wearing quite a normal outfit, from which the most attention calling things were a black, poorly worn hoodie, a plain shirt with a red eye painted on it and a pair of black converse that looked like they were in a damn crime scene... not all of that brownish oozy thing could possibly be mud... tho it was weird that it didn't stain the floor; of course it should've if they entered by the door, like a normal human being. Their appearance was the last thing that made you jump in fear, rather what made you jump was the fact they just... appeared there. You would've noticed if they had come in but they just appeared there. They weren't even looking up, they were looking down at their fidgeting fingers, face covered by a massive amount of black, messy and tangled hair.

The few lightness that was left in that damn wagon completely dropped and was dragged and replaced by a heavy aura. You felt so uneasy, this had never happened before while on a moving vehicle, but you got nauseous. You felt a knot in your throat, your clothes got uncomfy and the area that hurted the most in your head was your forehead, making all the way down to your eyes, which you felt were gonna explode.

You had to sit down before you puked or something, which you did, the farthest from that person the better.

You were full on alert mode, ready to jump at any suspicious movement. It was already extremely, suspiciously weird they were the only person in the wagon, but ok they were already there what could you do about it, however you would be alert.

How you spoke big ass words for such a damn small brain, because not even 3 minutes after, while playing with your legs, you accidentally kicked your flask. A damn miracle the floor wasn't covered in water right now because the cap of the flask used to malfunction, but while thank goodness that wasn't a problem, you heard the metal clank against the floor and it s l o w l y rolling and making all its way to the feet of that person. This had to be staged, for the love of God no one but you had bad luck like this, "when I look up there will be cameras recording, this is all just part of a stupid YouTube video". Damn right it wasn't, of course not, the idea itself was dumb but you were desperate.

Carefully looking down their way, you could see how their fingers stopped fidgeting, they just looked down at the flask, not moving a muscle, not grabbing it just standing there.

Thank you for your services my loyal companion, but alas, today is the day we part ways my beloved, malfunctioning flask. The partially broken cap was part of your charm, I'll never forgive yo-

- I believe this is yours - spoke a high pitched, yet kind of soft voice.

Jesus Christ just keep it man.

-Oh!- you acted surprised... emphasis on acted, - I'm sorry, I... hadn't noticed -, with the thick ass glass surrounded by metal on the outside, everyone in the North Pole heard that damn flask. You smiled awkwardly.

...

They clearly were waiting for you to go grab it, so against every inch of meat and common sense in your body, you stood up and began walking towards them.

It was a quick action, the apparently kilometre long wagon grew short as you walked down it and, faster that expected, you were grabbing the flask from the floor.

If looks could kill... You would still be alive tbh but if looks could melt you'd be a wiggly liquid by now. You made sure to keep your body not too close and reached out with your arm, when you had the great idea to look up.

Underneath that nest of a hair, was a thin face with a thin nose, elements for a common face but wide open eyes with deep dark, redish eyebags planted underneath them and an almost inhumanly wide smile with very... Very thin teeth were focused on your bent form.

It happened in seconds, but you could've sworn those damned black pupils dilated a bit when you made eye contact. The sudden sight made you stumble and fall on your butt, - owie - you said out of habit, but the light words weren't matching your sloppy and nervous actions, because right now you were rapidly dragging yourself away from the person in front of you. They didn't seem to want to hurt you tho, because in fact they stepped back a step after watching your awkward figure trying to get away from them. You stopped when you made a weird movement and your wrist popped, it didn't hurt as much as the sound scared you because right now you were thinking only the worst, and the worst in this scenario was a broken wrist. It was an exaggeration of course, but you didn't know that at the moment.

At that moment, they stuck out their arm and reached for your flask, grabbing it and bringing it up. Not a word came out from their mouth, they just let go of the pole and reached out their hand towards you.

You weren't a rude person but this literally wasn't the time to give two flying fucks about that, so you stood yourself and stepped back before standing still and firm, trying to show confidence you really didn't had at the moment. - Please give that back - you said signalling at your flask. Stupid moronic flask, it had given you more trouble in 20 minutes than your own dumb actions in the entirety of your life.

That smile on their face didn't disappear at all. - sure - they said, handing it over to you.

In that small exchange, a question popped in your mind, "Do you think he's cute?", Him? - him? -, you and your gigantic mouth. -me?- he said grinning, -you? Uhm, no- do I? No, no comment- you weren't actually talking to him, you were answering the question that popped in your mind... out loud. -on what?- he asked, -hmm- you hummed to God knows who while grabbing the flask out of his han- dude you're so awkward what. He didn't say anything and just let go of it.

-uhm, thanks- you said. Of course you were still scared as shit because of his eyes on you, but at least you were safe... You guessed.

He didn't say anything, just smiled wider if that was even possible.

Not really knowing what to do anymore, you just, sat down back at your place.

My god did you have something in your face?? Why was he staring? He didn't even try to hide it he just literally stared straight at you; was he even blinking? Maybe he did when you did.

And many other dumb questions surged in your mind.

To try and distract yourself from the thought of him pulling out a knife and jumping at you, you took out your phone. You didn't even have internet si you were just looking through your gallery. It was better than nothing.

Slowly you started to fade out of consciousness, but the weird thing is that you didn't even notice when you did, you were just asleep out of nowhere and the next thing you knew, someone was tapping on your shoulder.

"Must be that weird guy" you thought.

However, you were woken out of your slumber by an unknown voice.

-Excuse me, miss?... Miss?- the security guard was shaking your shoulder.

When you opened your eyes, you caught a full sight of your surroundings. There were many people sitting, others standing, people coming in and out of the wagon. -Where did all of them come from?- you mumbled, still not knowing what the fuck was going on.

-This is the last station. Someone brought to our attention that you've been sleeping here for over hour and a half. I'm sorry but you need to exit the wagon if you're not actually going somewhere.

-uh, sure- you said frowning -sorry-. You stood up, and before exiting the wagon you asked -this is the last station, you say?- -that's right- the guard politely answered.

Shit,

you were so late for work.

Good news for you, this August 23rd.

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader.

So this is a fanfic I've been working on for some months now. Originally published in wattpad, then Ao3, and now I've brought it to Tumblr.

Warnings for this chapter: None.

Enjoy!

The reader is Female presenting.

Prologue and Chapter 1.

You didn't like nor dislike your job. Sure, you liked going out, you liked to be surrounded by different kinds of people and you loved to dress up, even if it was to go to such as simple place, like Walmart. You kinda enjoyed the attention, some people would stop to compliment you, some others looked at you weird but you mostly didn't get bad comments which made you feel good.

However, you stopped dressing up for work after a while... you kinda stopped bothering, tho this didn't stop you from putting on some makeup sometimes, you still liked the feeling.

As a cashier at a gas station, there usually weren't regulars since people just passed by while on a trip and stuff, tho there were some truck drivers who would go through that route frequently because of their job, so their faces were familiar and they knew your name (since it was written on your uniform vest) but you didn't know about them, you weren't very talkative solely because you didn't know how to. Yes, you liked people but at the same time you don't really know how to talk to them and your social battery runs out very easily, so it was kind of an ambiguous feeling towards them.

The place where you worked at wasn't completely desolated...well at least it wasn't at the middle of nowhere, if you walked like 7-10 minutes you could start seeing some houses and there was a subway too, the one that would take you home. So you would usually take your skateboard to walk less and get there faster, besides you really liked the feeling of air against your skin, it just felt good.

Sometimes you wished you weren't the only one working there, so you could get some help in "busy" days (when there were like, 4 people in line at the same time) and so you wouldn't be completely alone, since sometimes you felt kinda awkward when angry customers started fighting with you and there was no one to back you up. It had its perks tho, like you could listen to anything you wanted when there weren't clients, you could sing if you wanted, maybe draw a little or just kill time on your phone... you enjoyed your alone time and you wouldn't be able to if someone else worked there with you, so there's that.

As of now, you were taking some time off school. You graduated high school 4 months ago, and it left you absolutely exhausted; you wanted to take a year off and work in yourself before applying to university.

Today was a lazy day by definition, so much your head was nodding off of your hands while you not so desperately tried to stay awake.

-3 more hours to go...- You said to yourself.

...

You started tapping your fingers on the counter.

...

You groaned, might as well do your actual job.

Since today there weren't many customers, the items were mostly in their place so you didn't need to arrange anything, now the floor on the other hand, looked like a damn crime scene. Some customer had dropped their slushie earlier this morning, and well, the sugar mixed with the already kinda dirty floor just made a mess, besides it had dried up and it was sticky.

Putting on one of your earphones, you start mopping the floor; your arms were getting kinda tired tho, it was hard to clean it up.

Following your figure as you did something as simple as mopping the floor, some people say humans can sense when they're being watched even if it's not directly, yet you couldn't possibly notice the pair of eyes staring at you from outside... nor did you notice the same pair directly looking at you on the subway from home or when you entered the bathroom back at the station to fix yourself up a little.

And even if you started paying attention of your surroundings, you wouldn't notice, not yet... not now, not until HE wanted.

Humming to the tune coming out of your earphone, you didn't even notice when he slowly entered the store and started to check up some items that he didn't even use, didn't even need.

Finishing up you dried the floor, -Shiny as a diamond- you said in a proud manner... you knew it wouldn't last two seconds tho.

Looking up to the ceiling mirror, you noticed someone standing in front of the register. "Shoot, how long has that dude been standing there for?" You thought, quickly walking behind the counter.

-Hi! Good afternoon. Sorry for the wait- you said, beginning to grab the items to scan them, -anything else you need?-... no answer. You looked up at the person in front of you, you could barely make out his face at all, it was hidden under a hoodie and a face mask. You could tell there was long hair there tho, black messy strands popped from underneath.

... still no answer. You began to scan the items one by one.

-That would be 12.40- you said, smiling a little while handing him the bag. He gave you the exact change and grabbed the bag, not saying anything still. You started to organize the cashier, growing a bit nervous of his presence and waiting for him to leave.

-Thanks, (y/n)- he said in a barely audible voice.

This wasn't the first time a client had called you by your name, in fact it was quite common and it never bothered you, but hearing it come out of this person's mouth made you freeze. You didn't even knew what you were doing, you were just grabbing money and putting it back, closing and opening the machine without a purpose. You just didn't wanna look up.

-... yeah, no problem- you said, still not looking up.

Yet this seemed to convince him, since he left afterwards.

30 minutes to close. You were already phoning a friend of yours to see if they could come pick you up, there was no way you'd go back home alone.

End of Prologue. Start of Chapter 1

You were grateful with Faye for going out of her way to pick you up since you knew she was busy with work.

When that red Nissan pulled off in the small parking lot in front of the store, you couldn't help but sigh in relief.

Quickly grabbing your stuff you hurried over towards her car, where she sat down waiting for you with a big smile.

-hey, good looking. What's a beauty like you doing outside at this hour?- she jokingly said lowering her window. -Sorry miss, you look a bit too old for me- you answered heading towards the passenger's door. When you tried to open it, she closed it back smirking. -Hey!- you said, her sudden grasp and pull on the door took you by surprise. You heard how she locked the doors and started the car, -Oh don't worry darling, if you don't wanna get in the car of a senior lady like me, I won't force you to- she said, that smirk never leaving her face as the car started to move backwards. You never doubted her and what she could do, so even tho you knew you both were playing, you decided to grab the handle of the door yet again, not being able to control your laughter -Faye I swear to god!- you said smiling. The car stopped and the door unlocked, -get in before I change my mind, dude-. You quickly got inside and locked the door -yeah sure- you said, throwing your stuff at the backseat.

As always, she kept that playful attitude when you were around, and you couldn't be more grateful to have her as a friend. But even tho she was a very bright person, she also knew when to be serious... like right now. You were telling her about the mess you had to clean up back at the store and how you accidentally spilled juice over you shirt in the morning when she lowered the music on her radio and started to ask -hey, you know I don't mind picking you up whenever you need me to but I couldn't help but notice you sounded... off during the call. Why did you call me over?- your smile faded a little when you remembered that guy. You wanted to keep it to yourself and tell her you were just feeling sick or something in order to not worry her, but it could be dangerous if no one knew about it, so you started to explain her everything.

-he didn't seem dangerous tho, just...very awkward I guess and off-ish? He didn't buy anything strange either- you said, turning on your phone.

-well maybe he's just awkward like that but didn't mean bad? Yet you did make the right choice in calling me over.- Faye said.

-I guess so- you said, scrolling down your phone.

...

-... his voice was kinda cute tho- you said; Faye started laughing her guts out.

-you recover so fast, (y/n)-.

You had invited her to ditch work and stay over to watch some movies, but Faye said her boss had given her a warning, the last warning before she got fired, and she really couldn't afford that. Of course you understood, she had a history of not being good at keeping jobs, and her parents had warned her that if she got fired one more time her allowance would be cutoff.

Waiting until you entered your apartment complex, she drove off.

You threw your stuff at the couch and stretched. You wished you could spend more time with her, like back at high school when either one of you always could be found at the other's house or when you two went out together almost every day. Her parents loved you and it was a pleasure for them for you to hang around their daughter. And even though it didn't occur as frequently now, you still saw them every other week and they still treated you with respect and care.

Today was gonna be a productive night!... at least that's what you said to yourself when you snapped out of your thoughts like 40 minutes ago.

You would make yourself dinner, you would pick up your place, excercise, shower and continue working on your personal project. That was the plan.

You did excercise tho, so that checks out but you couldn't force yourself to stand up and do everything else, so after a while you gave up and just decided to turn on your tv.

Not soon after, you began to be invaded by your own thoughts.

It happened involuntarily, it could occur whenever and wherever, but overthinking was one of your faults, and as annoying as it was, you couldn't help it once it started.

Starting by simple things like "what will I have for breakfast tomorrow", they began to grow and duplicate, making you feel physically sick. What would It be like when you finally entered university?? Would you even? And if you did would you finish? Would you grow to hate you career?... And like that, you suddenly began to question your abilities, a branch of thought that evolved until "embarrasing memories from years ago that probably no one but me remembers and make me cringe". And now to your eyes you were the worst human in the world. This is why you always try to keep your thoughts somewhere else, because if you let them be they turn into daggers and you into a piece of meat.

You gave yourself a slap across the face.

-snap out of it! Oh my god- you said as if you were annoyed at someone else who wasn't you.

You had been working on your trailing and self sabotaging mind once you realised it did you more harm than good, but you were basically trying to force your brain to forget a habit that had accompanied you half of your life so it wouldn't be easy.

Regardless of everything, you had indeed grown as a person after you started to take online classes during highschool, it was only a year and a half but it was more than enough to find yourself and raise your own opinions as well as finding some confidence where there wasn't almost any before. And yet you admitted you still had a long way, but so far it was enough for you.

A feeling that you still couldn't get used to was the feeling of freedom. When you moved out of your parents house and arrived to your apartment... You kinda just... Sat there, on the middle of the floor. You could do anything you wanted now, you could go out whenever you wanted to, you could have a mess and nobody would tell you to pick it up... Things that are so basic for many adults were still new to you and it honestly felt amazing.

So now you were pondering over going outside for no actual reason at 3 in the morning, or staying inside and watch some movies while laying on your cozy comfy couch...

So you were going down the road with your skateboard towards the city. While heading there in subway was obviously the easiest and safest way to arrive, you didn't mind skating a while.

Just carrying your phone and your wallet inside a cross body bag. You didn't actually plan on buying something in specific, but if you did saw something cool you didn't want to miss the chance.

It was a long way there, but you quite literally didn't have anything better to do and besides, you could take the subway back if you got tired so it honestly wasn't much of a fuss.

>>>><<<<

Just as much as you liked nature and it's essence, did you liked the city at night; when there weren't many people but it wasn't completely desolated, it wasn't saturated like at noon yet it was full of life and activities and honestly you weren't much of an observer, you were an interactive person who constantly searched for new activities to have fun. Tho you wouldn't lie, you still enjoyed staying at home and just play videogames or watch whatever.

Being outside helped you ease a bit, distract you from your own thoughts and create any kind of scenarios while walking around while listening to music, it was relaxing.

What wasn't relaxing, however, was the uneasy feeling that invaded you as soon as you entered an alleyway you knew like the palm of your hand. A place, known to you and me as a bazar, where they sold all kinds of stuff, used clothes, toys, haircuts, hell you could even get pierced and buy all kinds of cigarettes there. It was a place that felt familiar to you, and even if many people tended to avoid it, you loved going there in your free time.

But staying on track, it freaked you out, something freaked you out this time and this made you even more scared as of now, a lot of sellers knew about you, they talked to you and whatnot, you were a regular there. And yet, something was off.

If you were to describe this feeling, it was... It was the same you got when that dude back at the gas station said your name. But there's no way that person would be the cause of your distress now, no, of course not the place where you worked at and this bazar were an hour apart and y-

-sorry, hey are you ok?- said softly a young voice. It was Lucas, a vendor you knew too well. He sold esoteric stuff, crystals and all of that, and while you weren't an absolute fanatic of it, you didn't deny it either, you had a thing or two you had bought from him since you knew he took his job seriously and was reliable.

-yeah, don't worry I just... Hey have you felt- -an uneasy vibe? Yes. Look, I don't wanna be rude but I honestly started to feel it as soon as you walked in here, almost as if it was following you... Did you bring someone with you?-, with a mere sentence, you skin froze and your legs got weak, "following me? Following...".

Now, if it were someone else telling you that you'd brush it off, but this was Lucas you're talking about, his whole family has practiced brujería for generations, believer or not, you shouldn't take anything they say lightly, at all.

- no I... I'm alone. Maybe it's just my mind? After all I had somewhat of an unpleasant experience at work earlier on...- you said, truthfully. - No, no - spoke Lucas, - it's not coming from you, it's coming  with you, (y/n)- he said with a worried tone - I wouldn't be saying this if it weren't necessary, you know I don't give any advice or warnings to anyone who hasn't paid for it, but you're a regular here. This thing, whatever it is, doesn't mean harm, but they won't do any good either... I recommend being very careful with who you interact with, (y/n), you're like a magnet for this kind of things -. Now that was new, a magnet? For what? Misfortune perhaps? The phrase "these kind of things" left many opened doors and ambiguous interpretations, but you really didn't want to bother him, since he was giving you for free what he usually charges. Tho you were grateful, you were also scared because what he sensed must've been bad enough that he had to tell you.

It was time to go back home.

- Hey Lucas? Tell me what protection spells or pocket jars you have for me, will you?-

life tips

make yourself hard to kill

say fuck it we ball whenever something bad happens

if your therapist cant fix you you can make her worse

forever impressed by people who when they're hyperfixating on a media or character come up with complex headcanons and analysis and make up scenarios with them. all my brain does is this for days on end

He never stops…

Mock up of an idea I could try to model and print… IDK how difficult it would be to get two characters hugging up together like that for printing, but when you desire something you gotta do it.

me on my daily depression walk, blasting music that sounds like pots and pans banging together: