Self-insert Shitpost 🐢

when someone has a good take abt my favourite media i blush and twirl my hair and kick my legs but when theyre wrong abt it i bite and attack and kill kill kill kill kill

"Got my blood pumping

You know you always draw more blood, I bleed"

Leo.

That's it, that's the caption.

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader.

So this is the chapter two of this fanfic. As always, it was originally written and posted first on wattpad (@CassTea) so you can find more chapters and faster updates in there.

No warmings for this chapter, and the reader is Female presenting.

Also, I added a small mention from my favourite book, with a mention of a character from it. Nobody seemed to notice it, so I may aswell just say it. I won't put the name of the book tho, I still hope to find someone that knows it lol.

Tangling your fingers, you stood in the cold and poorly lightened subway station. It was obvious how whoever was in charge, truly didn't care about giving maintenance to this old place; it had obviously seen better days, the traces of that were still there, hard to find but there if you looked right.

It wasn't way too early in the morning, of course, after all your shift started at 4 pm and ended at 11 pm, when your "co worker" (if you could call them that because you knew literally nothing about them) would arrive and take your place. Yet... It was way too empty. This was a busy hour, usually there were students, workers and many other people around, waiting to catch the bus but today, it was... You looked around. - It's literally empty...-

Soon after, the fast yet not too violent wind hit your face and scrambled your hair all over the place. This took you by surprise, you quickly stepped back with an exclamation, -JESUS FUCK-. You were so lost half in your thoughts and the rest on your phone, that you hadn't noticed how close you were to the edge. You were exactly stepping the yellow line that was there to warn you. It was a beautiful "I'm literally the most bright colour down here and you still can't see me dumbass" yellow.

This however, woke you up.

It was a weird phenomenon. When you used to go to school, you would sleep at 2 in the morning and wake up at 5 am. You were tired and cold all damn day. Now you had all the time in the world to sleep, but there wasn't enough time in the entire universe that could possibly be enough for you. You would usually sleep between 10 - 11 am and woke up at 2 pm to go to work. You sometimes pondered where the hell your time went, because you could somehow never seem to finish anything you started.

In your mind, those weird and tall gray men that deceitfully stole people's time making them believe they were actually investing it and saving it for later, were the ones who were taking it away from you, only in silence. You weren't accompanied by a turtle with a weird name tho.

- seriously, Casiopea?? I mean it's not bad but... - you were discussing the turtle's name with yourself as you set foot inside of the empty wagon. It didn't took you long to notice tho, only after the doors closed and you looked up did your eyes captured the body chilling image in front of you. It was empty, completely empty. There were times you had used the subway and there weren't many people, but it was never empty.

You calmed down, surely the other wagons were crowded but you were lucky enough to have a whole wagon to yourself? It was... Great! It was great.

You smiled and sighed, it wasn't too bad- you were just overthinking.

-I can sit wherever I want?- you held the power now. (Y/n) ruler of the empty wagon, magic less witch yet the most powerful sourcerer that would ever set foot in this old wagon.

You swinged yourself in the pole, then started to quietly sing a random song, which quickly turned into a full opera concert in which you played three roles: the singer, the public and the director.

You were having way too much fun over nothing, and you looked ridiculous without a doubt, but honestly you deserved it, you deserved a break.

The sudden stop of the subway took you by surprise and made you loose your balance. Had you already arrived? But that was way too fast!.

The doors hadn't open, it was weird. - Maybe some malfunction? Damn it, you were gonna arrive late. You threw yourself at one of the seats, huffing and crossing your arms. Such luck.

As if by your doing, the doors opened not soon after. Looking outside you could see how empty it still was.

A poisonous seed of fear was planted into your chest, liberating uneasiness and, of course, fear as soon as it bloomed.

The place was poorly iluminated by some led lights and dragged hollowness along with it. You never got down on this station, but you did knew it because of the subway always stopping to let some people out... But you could've sworn this was 5 more minutes up ahead; you were very familiar with your schedule and you knew the time it took from station to station.

A void started to fill your chest. This isn't right, no no it isn't. Something bad was about to happen, you could just feel it.

You stopped staring outside but you couldn't take your frozen hands off of the frame of the electric doors.

There was no one there, it was impossible for there to be any sort of sound yet the more time that passed, you could slowly start hearing whispers.

It took you a while to process the sounds, because you just couldn't- how? Who could possibly be talking? And it wasn't two or three people, it was a multitude. When you did notice tho, when you finished processing this, your stomach dropped.

You could've sworn you were seeing movement that shouldn't be there at the corner of your eye.

"Please, to whoever listens my full yet weak words, and whoever has the power to get a hold of this situation, help me".

You were so desperate for the doors closing that you started talking nonsense out of fear.

Who were you even talking to? Who were you asking help to? There was no one there. Your words, even if they had value and intention, they had no power.

If someone did heard you, however, they were a merciful being.

Creaking a little bit, you snapping your body back in, the metal doors closed. You kept on looking outside the window, watching how the dark and hollow station started to be left behind.

You stood there, sighing. You leaned over the door, feeling as if that small moment had taken years out of your lifespan, exhausted because of the amount of fear you had felt in such a short moment.

you hadn't noticed the new entity that had shaped it's form into the almost empty space in which you were now standing, but it wouldn't let you take too long since almost right after you turned your back to the door, you heard a small cling in one of the poles. Of course this didn't get a big reaction out of you because, well, you were in a subway after all, it wasn't weird to hear metal sounds. This, however would trigger a bigger reaction after the sound made you look up, at it was at that moment when you noticed the figure standing there, right hand holding onto the silver pole, left hand playing with it's fingers, standing in an awkward, curvated pose that obtruded with the position of their legs bending them in an awkward manner. They were wearing quite a normal outfit, from which the most attention calling things were a black, poorly worn hoodie, a plain shirt with a red eye painted on it and a pair of black converse that looked like they were in a damn crime scene... not all of that brownish oozy thing could possibly be mud... tho it was weird that it didn't stain the floor; of course it should've if they entered by the door, like a normal human being. Their appearance was the last thing that made you jump in fear, rather what made you jump was the fact they just... appeared there. You would've noticed if they had come in but they just appeared there. They weren't even looking up, they were looking down at their fidgeting fingers, face covered by a massive amount of black, messy and tangled hair.

The few lightness that was left in that damn wagon completely dropped and was dragged and replaced by a heavy aura. You felt so uneasy, this had never happened before while on a moving vehicle, but you got nauseous. You felt a knot in your throat, your clothes got uncomfy and the area that hurted the most in your head was your forehead, making all the way down to your eyes, which you felt were gonna explode.

You had to sit down before you puked or something, which you did, the farthest from that person the better.

You were full on alert mode, ready to jump at any suspicious movement. It was already extremely, suspiciously weird they were the only person in the wagon, but ok they were already there what could you do about it, however you would be alert.

How you spoke big ass words for such a damn small brain, because not even 3 minutes after, while playing with your legs, you accidentally kicked your flask. A damn miracle the floor wasn't covered in water right now because the cap of the flask used to malfunction, but while thank goodness that wasn't a problem, you heard the metal clank against the floor and it s l o w l y rolling and making all its way to the feet of that person. This had to be staged, for the love of God no one but you had bad luck like this, "when I look up there will be cameras recording, this is all just part of a stupid YouTube video". Damn right it wasn't, of course not, the idea itself was dumb but you were desperate.

Carefully looking down their way, you could see how their fingers stopped fidgeting, they just looked down at the flask, not moving a muscle, not grabbing it just standing there.

Thank you for your services my loyal companion, but alas, today is the day we part ways my beloved, malfunctioning flask. The partially broken cap was part of your charm, I'll never forgive yo-

- I believe this is yours - spoke a high pitched, yet kind of soft voice.

Jesus Christ just keep it man.

-Oh!- you acted surprised... emphasis on acted, - I'm sorry, I... hadn't noticed -, with the thick ass glass surrounded by metal on the outside, everyone in the North Pole heard that damn flask. You smiled awkwardly.

...

They clearly were waiting for you to go grab it, so against every inch of meat and common sense in your body, you stood up and began walking towards them.

It was a quick action, the apparently kilometre long wagon grew short as you walked down it and, faster that expected, you were grabbing the flask from the floor.

If looks could kill... You would still be alive tbh but if looks could melt you'd be a wiggly liquid by now. You made sure to keep your body not too close and reached out with your arm, when you had the great idea to look up.

Underneath that nest of a hair, was a thin face with a thin nose, elements for a common face but wide open eyes with deep dark, redish eyebags planted underneath them and an almost inhumanly wide smile with very... Very thin teeth were focused on your bent form.

It happened in seconds, but you could've sworn those damned black pupils dilated a bit when you made eye contact. The sudden sight made you stumble and fall on your butt, - owie - you said out of habit, but the light words weren't matching your sloppy and nervous actions, because right now you were rapidly dragging yourself away from the person in front of you. They didn't seem to want to hurt you tho, because in fact they stepped back a step after watching your awkward figure trying to get away from them. You stopped when you made a weird movement and your wrist popped, it didn't hurt as much as the sound scared you because right now you were thinking only the worst, and the worst in this scenario was a broken wrist. It was an exaggeration of course, but you didn't know that at the moment.

At that moment, they stuck out their arm and reached for your flask, grabbing it and bringing it up. Not a word came out from their mouth, they just let go of the pole and reached out their hand towards you.

You weren't a rude person but this literally wasn't the time to give two flying fucks about that, so you stood yourself and stepped back before standing still and firm, trying to show confidence you really didn't had at the moment. - Please give that back - you said signalling at your flask. Stupid moronic flask, it had given you more trouble in 20 minutes than your own dumb actions in the entirety of your life.

That smile on their face didn't disappear at all. - sure - they said, handing it over to you.

In that small exchange, a question popped in your mind, "Do you think he's cute?", Him? - him? -, you and your gigantic mouth. -me?- he said grinning, -you? Uhm, no- do I? No, no comment- you weren't actually talking to him, you were answering the question that popped in your mind... out loud. -on what?- he asked, -hmm- you hummed to God knows who while grabbing the flask out of his han- dude you're so awkward what. He didn't say anything and just let go of it.

-uhm, thanks- you said. Of course you were still scared as shit because of his eyes on you, but at least you were safe... You guessed.

He didn't say anything, just smiled wider if that was even possible.

Not really knowing what to do anymore, you just, sat down back at your place.

My god did you have something in your face?? Why was he staring? He didn't even try to hide it he just literally stared straight at you; was he even blinking? Maybe he did when you did.

And many other dumb questions surged in your mind.

To try and distract yourself from the thought of him pulling out a knife and jumping at you, you took out your phone. You didn't even have internet si you were just looking through your gallery. It was better than nothing.

Slowly you started to fade out of consciousness, but the weird thing is that you didn't even notice when you did, you were just asleep out of nowhere and the next thing you knew, someone was tapping on your shoulder.

"Must be that weird guy" you thought.

However, you were woken out of your slumber by an unknown voice.

-Excuse me, miss?... Miss?- the security guard was shaking your shoulder.

When you opened your eyes, you caught a full sight of your surroundings. There were many people sitting, others standing, people coming in and out of the wagon. -Where did all of them come from?- you mumbled, still not knowing what the fuck was going on.

-This is the last station. Someone brought to our attention that you've been sleeping here for over hour and a half. I'm sorry but you need to exit the wagon if you're not actually going somewhere.

-uh, sure- you said frowning -sorry-. You stood up, and before exiting the wagon you asked -this is the last station, you say?- -that's right- the guard politely answered.

Shit,

you were so late for work.

horseman of pestilence

final of my horsemen of the apocalypse series

I'm sorry it took so long for me to post a new drawing, but my personal life is all over the place rn.

Anyways, here you have a drawing in my style of @jiffygis ' drawing of Mikey (they gave me permission dw). This drawing was just so cute it inspired me.

it's the final penis friday of 2021 how are you celebrating

me everytime i think about Alastor’s little antlers

or his little deer hoof dress shoes that make tap tap sounds

or the possibility of him having a tail

I'm really not a very angry person there's just a lot of rage inside me