For Every Like Elon Musk Gets A Kick To The Balls, For Every Reblog Trump Gets Fucking Punched

Eat your carbs and watch Severance, folks. God Bless Adam Scott. 🇺🇸

American Dream:✅

I begin every work week telling myself this will finally be the week I do not humiliate myself with a regrettable blunder. I almost made it through this week without bringing myself shame, but shortly after beginning my shift, I spilled an entire pot of coffee on myself. I could feel my co-workers' eyes on me, and I felt the dread at what had become an occurrence at least once per week:

My co-workers began to circle me, closing in on me, and chanting, "You're not a real adult. You're not a real adult. You're not a real adult! You're not a real adult!"

I collapse to the floor as tears run down my cheeks. Maybe next week will be different.

sears

True.

They’re always watching.

It’s a sarcastic song, Richie. For comic relief. Also, the Beatles are British, so I’d doubt that they’d be Commies. God Bless Sarcasm. 🇺🇸

Another masterpiece from Elvis, but I think this may be some ADA trickery. If not, 10/10, an amazing song, if yes…. don’t come back here ever again. God Bless America. 🇺🇸

Good Morning, America. 🇺🇸

That’s… rather rude, Patricia. Why do you want America to have a bad morning?

Good Morning, America. 🇺🇸

Shackles as a fashion accessory

Oh. Nevermind then. Carry on.

oof! ouch! hang on there's something stuck in my shoe *I remove my shoe and turn it over and a small wooden structure tumbles out* well fuck. looks like someone built a little birdhouse in my sole