Enid: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Wednesday: I do have a sense of humor you know.
Enid: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Wednesday: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.
Jinx: You … you saved me. You’re not a beast at all. YOU’RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO!
Caitlyn: Call me ugly again, and maybe I’ll eat you.
Jinx: People are always asking me if I am more of a morning person or a night person.
Jinx: And I’m just like, buddy! I’m barely even a person
Robin: Just a heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and it will become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.
Nancy: What did you do?
Robin: IT WAS A MISTAKE!
Jayce: I’m 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Viktor: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Jayce: Jokes on you I can’t do math.
Juliette: What’s up guys. I’m back.
Calliope: What the- you can’t be here. I literally saw you die.
Juliette: Death is a social construct.
Robin: What do you call a fish with no eye?
Nancy, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.
Robin: …
Robin: Fsh.
Jayce: Question. When they shot Bambi’s mother, did you find that a sad moment … at all?
Viktor: I’m sure she’s mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
Nancy: Three words. Say them and I’m yours.
Robin: Three words
Nancy:…
*Jayce and Viktor entering a dive bar*
Viktor: Look I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
Jayce, in scuba diving suit: I would like to leave please.
Viktor: I just don’t understand why you would wear something like that.
Jayce: YOU DIDNT CLARIFY WHAT THE DRESS CODE WAS FOR OUR LITTLE OUTING. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A SCUBA SUIT IN MY SIZE! I AM A BIG MAN VIKTOR! NO YOU EMBARRASSED ME AND THE SUIT IS RIDING AND ITS GIVING ME THIS WEIRD RASH-
Viktor: Alright we are leaving. Me and my big mouth.
Caitlyn: *getting down on one knee*
Vi: It’s finally happening.
Caitlyn: *falls over*
Jinx: *whispering* The poison is kicking in.