A Sudden Sense Of Yearning For What Should’ve Been Just Another Kid

(     *     BLACK MIRROR PROMPTS   !    

seasons 1-2.   feel free to change pronouns / titles as needed !

❛  i won’t have to do anything.  ❜

❛  everyone’s laughing at us.  ❜

❛  you don’t know that.  ❜

❛  we can’t not laugh.  ❜

❛  nothing is going to happen.  ❜

❛  you’ve got a phenomenal voice.  ❜

❛  you think i’m being cheesy? all right, i am being cheesy.  ❜

❛  i just want something real to happen. just once.  ❜

❛  have you prepared a speech, is that it?  ❜

❛  we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better.  ❜

❛  show us something real and free and beautiful.  ❜

❛  it’s only so much wonder we can bear.  ❜

❛  fuck you, that’s what it boils down to.  ❜

❛  i’m a serial monogamist. i’m staying faithful to my cornflakes right now.  ❜

❛  you lied.  ❜

❛  not everything that isn’t true is a lie.  ❜

❛  you know when you suspect something, it’s always better when it turns out to be true.  ❜

❛  it’s totally batshit crazy i can even talk to you.  ❜

❛  i shouldn’t have drunk last night. next time, ould you try and stop me?  ❜

❛  sorry, hang on. that’s a very difficult sentence to process.  ❜

❛  there’s no history to you.  ❜

❛  you nearly killed us back there.  ❜

❛  yeah, well, i wasn’t expecting you to be there, was i?  ❜

❛  i’ve just saved your lives.  ❜

❛  a wee “thank you” would be nice.  ❜

❛  i should’ve just run you over.  ❜

❛  you’re not going to win.  ❜

❛  why not be honest?  ❜

❛  i was lashing out. i wasn’t even articulate.  ❜

❛  i notice you keep that pretty quiet.  ❜

❛  so i return to my original question, is that really what this is for?  ❜

❛  prove me wrong. hm? speak.  ❜

❛  i’m here to ask you an important favour.  ❜

❛  look, come on, there is a little bit of a conversational drought happening here.  ❜

❛  not big on conversation.  ❜

❛  practice makes perfect.  ❜

❛  maybe i’ll bore you.  ❜

❛  people want to be noticed. they don’t like to be shut out. it makes them feel invisible.  ❜

❛  people just want to be heard.  ❜

❛  you’re a locked box. i mean, that’s a good thing.  ❜

❛  most people are too easy to read, especially if you know minds.  ❜

❛  using party tricks to pick up girls isn’t knowing minds.  ❜

stayed  up  late  and  awake  to  read  this  fic  of  what  if  andrew  met  neil  first  and  made  him  the  promise  instead  of  aaron  and  now  i  wanna  write  it  :///

░  ┊   @hcathens​   。• ◞

    for  once ,    he  appreciates  the  floor  under  his  weight;   legs  stretched  yet  body  unresponsive  to  whatever  the  mind  attempts  setting  on …    what ,   with  shoulders  hunched  and  arms  laying  low ,   his  hands  resting  in  the  gap  between  his  lower  limbs.    the  only  reason  that  neil  is  becoming  aware  of  his  limitations  is  when  numbness  begins  to  settle  along  with  slight  tremors  that  he  can  feel  in  his  fingers. 

    the  way  that  a  thousands’  worth  of  exy  racquet  slipping  through  his  grip  during  the  recent  drill  several  minutes  ago  is  a  tall  tell.  

                                          ‟     I’m  trying.     ❜          voice  strained ,   holding  back  frustrations  veiled  in  the  exhaustion  creeping  in  his  system ,   and  avoiding  having  another  tiring  same  old  arguments  with  kevin.    of  course  there’s  no  time  for  neil  to  sit  on  his  ass  because  the  games  aren’t  going  to  win  by  themselves;   but  ——                    ‟     You  don’t  need  to  remind  me  about  the  nooses  around  our  necks.     ❜

    it  hurts …    but  nothing  worse  that  he  hasn’t  survived  before.    the  anger  dissipates  under  the  silent  acceptance  and  grumbling  under  his  breath ,    annoyed  that  as  when  he  stands  up ,    the  redhead  has  to  hold  onto  his  knees  for  a  while  before  straightening  up.    wincing  slightly ,   frowning  greatly  at  the  disappointment  he  received  when  he  moves  his  right  shoulder  in  a  circular  motion.    testing ,   testing.

                                         ‟     …Let’s go.     ❜ 

his body was made of adrenaline.  

exy was everything that moved kevin since he could remember, that feeling of overcoming the exhaustion was something he was used to. he long learned to ignore his body’s pleas to stop moving in favor of playing, practicing even further. that’s why he was one of the best exy players alive.  that’s why he was the best exy player alive. 

even then, with his racket down while he talked scolded to neil, kevin couldn’t stop moving. body screaming as he moved from one foot to another, small little jumps to keep his body going against it’s own will. kevin never knew when to stop.  all he knew was exy and that didn’t change just because going back to the ravens weren’t a threat anymore.  

he was still playing for his life, afterall …  and so was neil, that’s why kevin pushed him.

accessing his friend’s exhaustion, kevin sighed, stepping back as the younger man followed his order and got up.   —  ❛ two more sets with this drill and we can call it a day ❜  —  grimace twisted kevin’s features with discontent, but he knew better than to push to hard and end up with an hurt neil, out of the games for the rest of the season.  that was a privilege they both didn’t have. 

he changed the racket to his right hand, rolling his left shoulder and frown a little enraged by the fact that he still couldn’t over-work his dominant hand – that he was still afraid of doing it. but it was useful to have that little bit of surprise in the games, being able to hold the exy racket either way.  —  ❛ you’re fast and your shots are getting stronger each day,  but you still lack precision. we need to work on that before the next game ❜  —

          fingers  flex  as  if  playing  symphony  of  aching  knuckles  and  calloused  palms,  testing  smaller  tendons  in  between.   left  hand  holds  pressure  down  on  affected  right  shoulder,  thumb  forcing  abused  muscle  not  to  flare  up  in  similar  to  what  heat  he  feels  all  over  ――   nerve  wires  under  the  pump,  fire  running  through  veins ...

                                                                     𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭.

                    ‟     𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻.     ❜      diced  words  for  kevin’s  convenience  while  neil  picks  up  his  racquet  without  bending  too  much;  else,  there  is  fear  that  he’ll  just  collapse  there  and  then  and  be  damned  with  the  consequences.    didn’t  bother  to  look  up  to  kevin  as  he  shifts  his  attention  to  the  hand-chosen  equipment  picked  by  the  exy  legend  himself;   more  so  the  reason  neil  can’t  really  give  up  now.  he  did ,   after  all ,   𝘥𝘪𝘨  𝘩𝘪𝘴  𝘰𝘸𝘯  𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦  𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵  𝘩𝘦  𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥  𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘢  𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵.  

         now  holding  racquet  with  two  hands,  neil  decides  to  shift  the  topic  away  from  things  they  never  really  talk  upon ...    just  like  how  he  looked  so  much  like  death  incarnate  and  how  he  smelled  of  it  and  kevin  never  noticed  from  the  start  until  shit  happened;   and  now,   they’re  here.                    ‟     𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵, 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱.  𝗔𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗺  ?     ❜

perth  is  experiencing  a  once  in  a  decade  storm  this  sunday  til  tomorrow  so  i  just  slept  since  i  still  have  upset  stomach.   anyway,   time  to  write  stuff  here.

i  literally  talked  about  andreil  rights  in  two  hours  to  drag  my  friend  into  aftg  hell  with  me  last  night,  and  guess  what,   i  might  finally  finish  this  cursed  josten  blog.

#cute, soft boy

░  ┊   @im-possiblelimits​  。• ◞ 

“what makes you think i have something to say?” & since when has he needed anyone’s permission to say what’s on his mind?

    ‟     Anyone can feel your eyes digging in their back whenever you think they’re not looking.     ❜      if  it  sounds  like  an  accusation,  so  be  it;   he’s  had  enough  of  kevin’s  bullshit  of  the  day.      ‟     Whatever I did wrong,  let’s just get it over with.     ❜   

All For The Game- THE FOXHOLE COURT

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

verses tag dump.

v*.  BURNED TO THE FILTER WITHOUT TAKING A DRAG.  /  undetermined. v001.   THE FOXHOLE COURT  /  this is the moment you stop being the rabbit. v002.   THE RAVEN KING  /  they were worth every cut‚  bruise and scream. v003.   THE KING’S MEN  /  fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. 

sunshine boy ☀️