Jtheshark - Untitled

no bond like two bi friends who might be mlm and wlw solidarity but also might fuck

I hope nudibranchs are the next animal that everyone realizes is cute and they start making plushes out of them

it’s crazy how accessible waterboarding is. like, you can do it to yourself whenever you want and you don’t even have to go out and buy anything.

if i had a time machine and i wanted to absolutely destroy an ancient emperor or king, i would take them to the shark tunnel of an aquarium. giving them an ozymandias view of their legacy would do nothing, they can see that all empires rot just by looking around them. but the shark tunnel of an aquarium is something they haven’t seen before, something no one has seen before, something magnificent that they could build with technology only slightly out of their reach. they would bankrupt their nation trying to recreate that shark tunnel for themself. their dynasty would collapse within three generations, and, if heaven is on my side, they themself will be eaten by a shark to the delight of generations of historians to come

I'm tired of being a girl kisser with no girl to kiss 😠

Had to make a Zukka one

Mr. Bennet: Sure, I haven't taken care of my daughters' financial security, but have I at least taken care of their education? No. But have I taken care of their emotional needs? Also no. But have I been a good protector and supervisor? I'm afraid not. However, have I been a good example for my children of being a kind and respectful spouse, parent, and all around human being? No again. But through it all, have I nailed being funny? Yes. And isn't that the most important role of a father after all?

It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real