Snen I Was,

This just in, according to trump, EVERYONES a woman

(for context, he defined what a female and male is and specifically used "at conception" language and.. at conception, everyone is female. And ofc according to trump woman = female)

Can't believe there has never been a male president ever in this cuntry

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

I'm girl

Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day

A new study from Boston University’s School of Public Health has found that anyone, including you, could feasibly lose an arm at any moment due to a vast number of possible events outside your control.

no I can't close my tabs. what if I accidentally close my emotional support Wikipedia page about historical instances of cannibalism that's been open for 3 years? what happens then??? what will be left of me????