Latest Posts by julianunderwood - Page 3

to be written in ink is to become immortal.

eira s. → etched into history (via ardentleys)

I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?

dream-jackson (via claudemonet-art)

i wish everything was quieter and softer and less often

@srphne liked 

He’s glad to see that Aimée is here too. He can’t overstate how much a friendly face makes him feel less nervous. He’s only here at all because he didn’t want to disappoint his roommate. Montague seems very nice, but also like... a lot.  Just a lot to deal with, and Jules really doesn’t want disappoint him so soon after they’ve met. So... he’s here.

          ❝Would it be rude to leave an impromptu Bonfire your roommate planned early?❞ His tone is joking, but he really does want to leave. He’s nervous around people in general, and this- with so many people around- is worse. So Aimée being here helps a little.

          ❝Kidding, o-of course. I want to stay for the ghost stories at least. I’m very interested to hear what other people might think they’ve seen here...❞

Wanting to hear those stories and not wanting to disappoint Montague are the only things keeping him here. And he does really want to hear those stories. He even brought his notebook with him, though he’s not mentioning that detail to Aimée.

are you okay?

difficult question

Starter call for the Bonfire! Hit that like for a starter

He brought his phone, a book, his writing notebook, a blanket to sit on, and a bottle of water. Also like a dozen pens that permanently live in the bottom of his bag

a quick doodle of Jules in his bonfire outfit aka what he was wearing anyway + his rarely seen glasses

Everyone can act. Everyone can improvise. Anyone who wishes to can play in the theater and learn to become stage worthy.

Viola Spolin, Improvisation for the Theater (via theatremama)

a quick doodle of Jules in his bonfire outfit aka what he was wearing anyway + his rarely seen glasses

i don't WANT to live in a society i want to live in a bookstore cafe

Julian doesn’t believe in ghosts, but he’d be lying if the quiet of campus in the dark didn’t make him uneasy, and he had his phone out as a flashlight by the time he got to the garden. At least it didn’t take him too long to find the bonfire itself.

And he gravitated to sit near the first person he spotted that he actually knew to any degree, his roommate. He’s pretty quiet, saying as little as possible while keeping the conversation going, but Montague saying that gets a pause from Jules.

          ❝... Huh.❞ He says quietly, pushing his glasses up his nose. He’s actually wearing his glasses for once, having taken his contacts out earlier in the evening. They were starting to burn his eyes a bit, so he knew better than to keep them in. He’s sure his eyes are invisible because of that, with the flickering glare of the fire on his lenses.

That’s good. Maybe it’s not so obvious how nervous he is to even be here.

He really doesn’t know what to make of his roommate. Montague seems incredibly nice, but also like... just... a lot. Very exuberant and friendly.

A hell of a Roommate for someone like Julian to end up with ( Awkward, shy, nervous, reserved. Someone people just forget. No one would forget the likes of Montague for sure ). He’s only at this bonfire party at all because it was his roommate’s idea, and it would feel rude to not come.

          ❝Maybe it’s just because I’ve never had close friends before, but I really cannot fathom that. The social part of the college experience has legitimately never crossed my mind before now.❞

Julian is sitting cross-legged on a think fleece blanket he brought with him, and he has his writing notebook out on his lap, with a pen held loosely in his hand. He heard there were going to be Ghost Stories, and he wanted to take notes. He feels like there’s a lot that could be done with the ideas floating around this campus. There’s nothing quite like hearing people tell the spooky things they think they’ve experienced (or want us to think they experienced) for inspiration.

Though he doesn’t know why he bothers. He’s never going to go anywhere with this. Just a dumb hobby. He clicks his pen a few times, before looking back up at Montague.

          ❝Could you not just... keep in contact with your college friends upon graduating, or uh dropping out? Or would that somehow not be the same?❞

no matter how much time montague spent away from the university, he’d never forget the feeling of just walking through the gardens during the night. right now, the ethereal feeling was mixed with excitement for the impromptu rendezvous, but he could recognize it nonetheless. montague never believed in magic. he used to say that he met too many faithful people, learned too many conflicted myths to actually believe in any of them, so he’d never say that château campus was supernaturally magical. however, not even him could deny that the university carried some kind of magic. it was the same feeling he got when he hiked up a huge mountain just to have the view up there remind him that the world was a huge place. naturally magical. 

he took a deep breath, stretched his arm to catch one more bottle of beer and rearranged himself on the blanket in which he was seated.                                                 i’m serious, ok? the true reason i came back is this. not the fact that i should graduate before i turn thirty and i’ve been in this college for almost a decade already …  i missed the people and this moments. this is what make the whole college experience worth it.           it wasn’t exactly a lie. of course, he had a time limit to graduate because of his father, but it wouldn’t be the first time montague went against the man. the thing that made the classes bearable was these moments, with the hockey team, his friends and his future friends.

srphne​:

for someone that spent all her life alone, it was surprising how easily it was for aimée to grow closer to people now that she was in college. she only had a couple of friends during high school and, before that, her circle of people was even more limited. however, she found herself quickly feeling comfortable and happy with julian’s presence. few conversations and they were friends, and that’s all it was needed for aimée to never let him go. 

                                      no fucking way! you lived in a actually haunted house? that’s so ….          the girl stoped herself was soon as she noticed that she was being kind of rude.                             hm, sorry about your granfather. i’m not gonna lie, it does sounds cool to live in a haunted house, in theory. but it must be annoying and scary and specially harsh if it was someone you loved…  even if you don’t believe in any of this.    she quickly added, expecting him to protest her casual acceptance of the supernatural, like many people usually did. 

she was used to people going against her beliefs in ghosts and supernatural, but she didn’t care. specially since believing in the existence of ghosts meant that she could pretend that her parents were still with her.

          ❝I didn’t know him,❞ Jules says with a laugh. ❝This was years before I was born. I didn’t even really get stories about him, since he was my father’s father, and my father died when I was so young that I don’t remember him at all. So it’s really a nothing thing, emotionally.❞ 

Her excitement is fun, and he can’t help but grin at her. It’s clear she’s a believer, and he’s certainly not going to fault her for it, even if he doesn’t. The idea is fascinating, and he certainly understands the impulse to believe.

          ❝Closest I’ve ever gotten to knowing anything about him is my mother telling me how strong and respectable he was. How he should be a role model.❞ He snorts. ❝Yeah, no, I’m not gonna try to emulate the guy who pissed off his business partner so much that he literally got murdered.❞

( Not that he could ever live up to it anyway... )

He leans toward her slightly, still beaming, and he clasps his hands together.

          ❝One of my classmates liked to say they’d see him standing in the attic window, where he died. He’d swear up and down to his friends that he saw it.❞

That insistence was always particularly funny to Julian, since there’s a solid chance that he saw Julian, since he used his grandfather’s old study up there as a quiet place to write, where it was unlikely his mother would bother him. She found the whole thing creepy, since she knew the man who died there.

He did his homework there a lot too. It was those nights where he’d aaaaaalmost convinced himself he heard something. Saw something out of the corner of his eye. But that’s normal, on less than two hours sleep that he had sometimes back then.

( And now still, honestly )

          ❝It’s an old victorian mansion, built in the mid-1800s, so I super get why people were so ready to think it was haunted. It looks like it should be a haunted house- though one in very good condition.❞

how isn’t hiding in the bathroom a good coping mechanism

He dresses like a hipster pretty much, but like, a rich one. Same style but everything costs more.

well if this ain’t me or what

parkerperhaps​:

Parker has noticed him for awhile now. Granted, they make it a point to note who’s around them generally because that’s always a good thing but they’d noticed him looking, off to the side. They didn’t mean to leave him hanging or anything of that sort, but maybe they were sort of hoping he’d eventually come to them like they figured he wanted to. They were beginning to get anxious too, wondering if they should just come up to him themselves, but that was quelled when they hear him.

“Yeah, something like that,” they replied, offering him a smile, “You could also say I missed the boat with people my age, but that makes me like I’m in my thirties.” They instinctively relax their shoulders so as to seem chilled out, just so it’d be easier for him to feel at ease. “You’re in the LGBTQIA+ Alliance with me right? I’m Parker.” Instead of sticking their hand out for a shake, they waved their hand.

Thirties? He laughs slightly. Yeah no, they aren’t that much older than him. He wouldn’t have pegged them any older than mid twenties. 

          ❝I considered taking some time off, honestly, but I didn’t want to lose academic momentum, you know?❞

Jules is almost relieved when they don’t extend their hand for a handshake, clasping his own hands behind his back. He’s never liked handshakes because touching a stranger just... bothers him.

Oh but a good strong handshake is the proper way for a man to greet someone he’s just met. Get over it Julie, it’s just for a few seconds.

She’s. Not. Here. He doesn’t need to sweat her arbitrary rules or the way she would try to shame him for not measuring up.

          ❝I’m, uh, I’m Julian.❞ He stammers out, rocking on the balls of his feet. ❝I usually go by Jules though.❞

( Not true not true )- He always wanted to go by Jules, but Julian was more appropriate. And... he didn’t pick it. His mother did, based on his dead name. And it’s... fine, but he much prefers the nickname he chose.

He can be whatever he wants here. Within limits, anyway. His social life isn’t going to get back to his mother at least. He can go by whatever he wants and just be... awkward without worrying about her reaction.

          ❝And, y-yeah. Sure am.❞ He exhales hard. ❝That’s, uh, kinda why I... wanted to talk? Sorry, it’s dumb, I just want to actually you know... know the people I’m in a club with?”

@parkerperhaps​ liked

Jules rocks on the balls of his feet, looking at the other freshman. They’re in the lgbtqia+ alliance too, but he’s always been bad at introductions. Or talking to people in general ( not respectable- awkward and introverted and weird- never good enough ), but he wants to try.

This isn’t like the GSA back home. He’s not... expected to be perfect and always perform the the ‘perfect’ trans person. He doesn’t have to be some flawless person and representative of trans people in his small upstate New York town where he’s the only Trans guy. His mother is not here, and this is a progressive campus. And this is another person who is not Cis. 

There is no reason to be this awkward, and yet... 

          ❝So- uh, did you take a gap year or two?❞ They seem a few years older than him, but he’s not... sure. And it was the only thing he could think of to say.

He’s never been good at small talk, and that’s certainly not changing now. Nevertheless he’s going to be as friendly as he can manage. Social expectations be damned.

He can practically here his mother’s upset now.

@eliasfynn liked

Jules just came here to watch the figure skaters practice. It’s not the kind of thing he could ever do- he simply does not have the grace for it- but he can appreciate the artistry of it. 

It’s like ballet, but on ice. It’s pretty and... like... there’s nothing wrong with wanting to appreciate elegant choreography when his ultimate goal is to be a theatre director right? 

Besides, it’s the only sport he’s ever found interesting to watch. And his friend Aimée is a figure skater here. He needs to have something he can just enjoy watching, to have an easy thing to do while studying. Otherwise he’d lose his mind here quickly, with how little enjoyment he actually gets out of his Major.

He was hoping to just go unnoticed with his book in the stands, half studying, half watching, but... it didn’t work out that way.

          ❝I, uh. I’m sorry!❞ He quickly stands up, ready to leave if he’s a bother with his presence. ❝I-I can go, if- if you don’t want me here.❞

@srphne​ liked

Julian hasn’t been here very long ( right? He only just started here? It feels like a lifetime ago that he left his New York home and everything he’d ever known behind ) but Aimée was someone he clicked with instantly. They share a few classes, since she’s a Performing Arts major to his Drama and Theatre Production.

While he would never say this to her ( she’d think it’s creepy how quickly he’s become attached ), she’s already like... the older sister he never had. 

          ❝-No really. People would say my childhood house was haunted. I never saw anything, but my grandfather died in the house, uh, violently. So people talked.❞

A few sleep deprived auditory hallucinations, and imaginary things in his peripheral vision aside, he didn’t. He’s never seen anything, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t interest him.

They got onto this topic because of the supposed hauntings and such of campus, which he’s definitely curious about. He can understand the impulse to believe that about a place like this, with it’s bloody history and how isolated it is up on the mountain. Something that gruesome has to matter for some people, so it’s imagined as ghosts and things that go bump in the night.

It’s all fascinating. 

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —”

— Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (via luthienne)

hit that like button for a starter

Introducing Julian Rigel Underwood

About Page | Wanted Connections

BASICS

trans man

pansexual

he/him

19 years old

drama and theatre production major

APPEARANCE

hair: Brown and slightly wavy. Cut short but with messy bangs.

eyes: Brown

height: 5'8 // 172cm

faceclaim: Jamie Raines

PERSONALITY

mbti: INFP - t  ( the turbulent mediator )

enneagram: 9w1  ( the negotiator )

alignment: neutral good

SOME MISCELLANEOUS THINGS

He used to really like theatre, but being forced to consider it as a future career and focus all of his energy on it burned him out quick and he high key hates it now. He’d much rather be a writer, basing on the folklore and urban legends he loves so much. But he’s not one to argue with his mother. Like... ever. He just suffers in silence.

He’s fascinated with folklore and urban legends because of a bigfoot sighting in his hometown when he was younger. He didn’t see anything himself, but it got him interested in the way ideas like that spread, with just people telling each other things, leading to them being changed and exaggerated over time in years of playing telephone. And the details that stay the same are just as fascinating. He doesn’t believe in stuff like that, but he loves to learn about it, and he really wants to write about it.

Related: his own house was supposedly haunted back in New York. The kids he went to school with used to whisper about it when they thought he wasn’t listening. His (paternal) grandfather was murdered in the house and he supposedly haunted the large home. He found it interesting, and so likewise is curious about supposed hauntings and what leads people to thinking they see ghosts. Though… some sleepless nights in high school while he was trying to keep a perfect GPA in honor classes he… thought might have heard or saw something. Probably just being sleep deprived though. He doesn’t believe in ghosts.

He’s fluent in English, French, Latin, and Italian

He very occasionally wears glasses. He has a prescription, but usually wears contacts.

He has a car on campus; his mother made sure of that

He’s a library archives intern.

rainy days call for warm tea and a good book

wouldn’t it be nice to lay down in the woods and feel yourself be surrounded by the grass and moss and dirt and slowly become one with the earth ?

- decomposition

latin phrases worth knowing:

(in case you wanted to know because i fucking love this language) 

ad astra per aspera - to the stars through difficulties 

alis volat propriis - he flies by his own wings 

amantium irae amoris integratio est - the quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love 

ars longa, vita brevis - art is long, life is short 

aut insanity homo, aut versus facit - the fellow is either mad or he is composing verses 

dum spiro spero - while I breathe, I hope 

ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem - with the sword, she seeks peace under liberty 

exigo a me non ut optimus par sim sed ut malis melior - I require myself not to be equal to the best, but to be better than the bad

experiential docet - experience teaches 

helluo librorum - a glutton for books (bookworm) 

in libras libertas - in books, freedom 

littera scripta manet - the written letter lasts 

mens regnum bona possidet - an honest heart is a kingdom in itself 

mirabile dictu - wonderful to say 

nullus est liber tam malus ut non aliqua parte prosit - there is no book so bad that it is not profitable in some part 

omnia iam fient quae posse negabam - everything which I used to say could not happen, will happen now 

poeta nascitur, non fit - the poet is born, not made 

qui dedit benificium taceat; narrat qui accepit - let him who has done a good deed be silent; let him who has received it tell it 

saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futurum sit - often, it is not advantageous to know what will be 

sedit qui timuit ne non succederet - he who feared he would not succeed sat still 

si vis pacem, para bellum - if you want peace, prepare for war 

struit insidias lacrimis cum feminia plorat - when a woman weeps, she is setting traps with her tears 

sub rosa - under the rose 

trahimir omnes laudis studio - we are led on by our eagerness for praise

urbem latericium invenit, marmoream reliquit - he found the city a city of bricks; he left it a city of marble 

ut incepit fidelis sic permanet - as loyal as she began, so she remains

folklore - taylor swift

a tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. sometimes even sung about. the lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. speculation, over time, becomes fact. myths, ghost stories, and fables. fairytales and parables. gossip and legend. someone's secrets written in the sky for all to behold.