Never Played Disney Heroes But Their Move Set Is Funny

youtuber au

remus runs a book review channel that has slowly been turning into a drama and rant channel

sirius and james run a joint prank channel but it’s significantly more humane than most of the popular ones (they also mostly prank each other and nothing is staged)

lily runs a true crime channel that collabs with remus frequently for special horror episodes

peter is a gamer and actually has the most subscribers out of all of them for his valorant streams

snape has multiple hate blogs for each of them

SOMEONE ALREADY CRACKED THE WEBSITE AND GOT A MAJORITY OF THE SECRET CODEWORDS! I'm putting them all here in image form because there's a crapton, have fun!

6 images in all, you'll probably have t. Save them and zoom in. Go nuts ya'll!

fountain of youth au where the stans get a second shot at their prime-- and the mystery twins trying to help them tackle the new 21st century all away from across the globe

Relativity falls!!!

You voted for him! Our @sexyman-contest-2025 champion has earned his Tumblr Sexyman status 13 years after his debut in Gravity Falls, but Stan Pines has a history...

Travel back with us to 1975 and sneak a peek at the Hunky Drifters Catalogue!

A new Gravity Falls charity zine, Hunky Drifters Catalogue aims to recreate the look and feel of a retro magazine. Featuring page-turning articles, parody ads, and racy pictures of our favorite Hunky Drifter, Stan Pines, this zine is sure to please anyone that helped vote our beloved conman to victory!

Although canon implies that its in-universe counterpart may have contained more explicit content, our Hunky Drifters Catalogue strives for the "tasteful and classy" approach Stan might've been hoping for while still appealing to mature audiences (ie: no full frontal nudity).

To get the lowdown on this primo project, make sure you’re following @hunkydrifterscatalogue here on Tumblr (with notifications!) and any of our other social media!

Art by: @pinetreeshack

Disclaimer: Although he basically asked for it, this zine is not affiliated with Alex Hirsch, Gravity Falls, or Disney. This project is for charity, meaning all proceeds will go to a charity of our choice.

post-curse BATB headcanon

the enchantress’s magic spreads farther than anybody guessed, least of all her

following the curse, things are…..well, they’re joyous, obviously. They’re beautiful. They’re glad, and new, and full of sunlight. But also, sometimes….

Plumette wonders if Lumiere has gotten a little taller. Not a lot, not tremendously so—just an inch or two. It might be the new heels he bought as soon as he could, but she doesn’t quite think so.

Lumiere thinks Plumette’s hair might have gotten curlier, her skin a little softer. No, he thinks, that cannot be quite right, time was frozen during the spell, non? And yet—ohhh, she is as good to him as ever, what does it matter, she is radiant as always, with or without the extra locks.

Cogsworth sees Mrs. Potts moving around the kitchen and thinks, now, didn’t she used to have a touch of the gout in that one leg? And yet there she walks now, as she did when we first met almost thirty years ago. I must have a cog wrong, somewhere, thinks Cogsworth.

He could not always play with his eyes entirely closed, could he, her darling Cadenza? surely he was not so supernatural as that? Garderobe looks at him again and sees his eyes shut, his fingers flying over a passage she knows he shouldn’t know. Something has grown better with his fingers in the time he wasn’t using them. Magia.

Chapeau never says much, but he sees that Cogsworth’s back does not hurt him so anymore. It’s like a gear has shifted and released some spring he didn’t know he had.

Mrs. Potts knows Chapeau should not be that strong—yet he lifts Chip easily, now, as easily as if he were just a cup. Yet before—he’s a skinny man, Mr. Chapeau, I don’t know where he got that from. Mrs. Potts gets herself a cup of tea and thinks about it, crossing her two perfectly fine feet without another thought.

Cadenza notices no difference. His amore is as beautiful as ever, and the only magia he’s privy to is when she chooses to sing for him.

How are the servants when their sick? Who takes care of them? What makes them feel better?? ♡♡♡♡ luv u

they all turn into fucking bears and won’t take their cough syrup.

just kidding. here’s a long-ass post

lumiere

what. a fucking. production number. 

this is a man who has intense seasonal allergies so EVERYTHING IS POISON and EVERYTHING IS THE END

he’s rapped his will like ten dozen times

(but not like, really. we know lumiere faces actual threats incredibly bravely. we’re talking like, a cold here.)

DEATH!!!

IT’S ALL DEATH!!!!!!

COGSWORTH, MAKE SURE MY SKULL IS USED IN A PRODUCTION OF ‘HAMLET’

BUT LIKE, A SPARKLY PRODUCTION OF HAMLET. GLITTER. SONGS. SHOWGIRLS.

…!!!!…..

ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT, SOMEONE SHOULD DO THAT? !

( once he’s busy scribbling out choreography for “hamlet!: the musical,” which will be soon adam’s (incredibly unwanted) birthday present, he feels much much better )

plumette

oh my god lumiere is in meltdown

is it fucking tuberculosis? lumiere doesn’t care. he’s gonna catch every damn flu in the book by cuddling with his beloved

she likes getting Lotions and Hot Soups and Pastries That Are Far Too Rich For Sick People To Be Eating ™. she fucking revels in all the medicines and creams and powders and breath mints

she is languid and ailing and still absolutely breathtaking plumette. beauty like that don’t quit

cogsworth

oh he hates being sick. the palace can’t fucking run without him!! (it can. just…super badly.)

he is consoled by a stream of tea mugs and lumiere coming to make (fake) promises that everything is Fine. both of them know he is L Y I NG

cogsworth always likes it when people pull out the old quilt his mom made him and put it on him when he’s sick. nobody realized this until belle came along and was like ‘YES! GOOD! MOM-WELLNESS-POWER.’

he likes being petted and pampered by plumette while he sniffles. but ‘oh, dear, you’ll catch a cold,’ and he’s fucking giving her the blankets he so badly needs. like damn cogsworth can you not even not fuck up being sick

cadenza

so. fucking. PICKY. it’s too loud! it’s too quiet! his nose is blinding him!! his ears are eating him alive!!!!!! just obey his demands to the maximum and you’ll be fine. is this orange juice freshly squeezed?? show him the orange peels. show him. bring him the literal orange tree

(but give him sheet music to look at and he’s happy as a clam.)

garderobe

ALSO picky as FUCK. like good thing they’re married?? i guess??

fucking drama queen. it’s the end of the EVER FUCKIGN WORLLD

she needs like ten thousand blankets. cadenza sits by her side and tell her how BEAUTIFUL she is, how she has been cursed by the heavens to bear this sickness so some puny opera wench elsewhere can feel even basically competent for two seconds, your voice will be more BEAUTIFUL than ever after this, amore mio, let me clasp your cold hands and hold them to my face & warm them

(she secretly loves being sick. the ATTENTION.)

chapeau

‘are…are you ok in there, chapeau? speak to us. no, wait, that would actually be bad. semaphore? sacre bleau, my friend, you losing your voice and you being yourself is the difference between a gold coin and a sous—are you contagious? will i die by coming in? will i die by bouncing on your bed? i am bouncing on your bed. would magic tricks help? non? tea and coffee? hot food? what—oh. quiet. You want quiet? Well, you will have that soon enough. Let me just perform my magic tricks first.’

(chapeau is very easy to care for, though meticulous in the few things he asks for. everyone keeps him company, for utterly no reason. he likes hot drinks and toast with jam.)

cuisinier

‘i’m not sick! i’m not sick. get out! devils! get that demon’s oil away from me! the day i drink castor oil is the day i forget how to bake a tarte Tatin—no!!! i will get over this by willpower alone!! and butter. always butter. get out!! is this castor oil?! get it out—’

he’s fucking awful to take care of and they basically have to promise him that lumiere won’t fuck around in his kitchen while he’s out. it’s a fucking group effort

chip

‘mom can i have some orange juice. can i have a comic book. mom wanna see me do a trick? mom i can drink the entire bottle of cough syrup without breathing. mom. mom. mom can i have more orange juice. m o  m’

(( he’s fine, his mom just wants to murder him ))

mrs. potts

r u kidding? when mrs. potts goes down this entire ship burns

the pines getting picked up like cats

if you mischaracterize ford for the sake of making a good plot or just because your understanding of ford as a character is a bit warped then thats a bit of a shame, but i’d still read it. ‘he would not fucking say that’ i say, continuing to happily read along anyways

if you mischaracterize stan for any reasons i throw my phone at the wall, i click out of the fic, an angel loses its wings, i start writing even more fanfiction to counter balance you, etc etc

ford being uncharacteristically awful? unrealistic but i can get down with this for funsies. stan being uncharacteristically awful? we’re done here.