Concept: An Alien Race Horrified By The Idea Of Clothes

*whispers* both of you are pretty

Definitely one of my favorites!

Okay but imagine Yuuri retires from competitive figure skating at 27, and he decides to go back to college to become a teacher.

So this boy walks into class sporting the just-rolled-out-of-bed look with the sex hair and the big comfy sweater and the starbucks cup in one hand.

And you know, he’s enjoying his life, he makes friends in his program and on the weekends he helps his husband teach cute little kids how to skate and they have this cozy little house together in a nice neighbourhood. He probably has girls and guys falling for him left and right.

And then one day, Yuuri’s out with his friends, and they’re at a cafe or something.

And a group of girls comes up to them, and they’re all blushing and nudging each other saying “You talk first!”.

So Yuuri just turns this absolutely blinding smile on them and asks, “Autographs?”

The girls squeak, and nod furiously.

“Sure!” he says, reaching out for the notebooks they’re holding out for him to sign.

And about ten minutes later, after several selfies and autographs and a lot of gushing and squealing and “Please let Viktor know we’re looking forward to Yuratchka’s upcoming season,” the girls leave.

So Yuuri turns back to his friends, and they’re all just staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

Yuuri kinda wonders if there’s something on his face.

The first thing that comes out of anyone’s mouths is, “…who’s Viktor?”

And Yuuri’s kinda confused as he replies, “….my husband?”

“YOU’RE MARRIED!?!?!?!?” his friends all shriek.

Yuuri looks down at his hand to make sure his ring is still there. “Yeah?” he says, holding his hand up.

“I thought that was just a fashion statement!” one of the girls exclaims.

“Why did they want your autograph though?” asks another of his friends, and Yuuri just looks away sheepishly.

“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”

His voice gets progressively quieter as his face gets even redder.

His friends are staring at him in horror and shocked disbelief now.

And he thinks he might as well get it all out now.

“And…my husband might be the most decorated athlete in figure skating history?”

Fics based on this post:

A Name I’ve Heard Somewhere by GwenChan (@gwen-chan)

A Prince in Disguise by lourthor (@kurtdontcurr)

A Real Life Cinnamon Roll by Seito (@seitosokusha)

And the answer is… by nessiesaur

anonymous by eu_nao_sou_um_chapeu (@eu-nao-sou-um-chapeu)

Comfort Zone by BertholdvonMoosburg

Did I Forget to Mention… by nevereverever

Ethical Dilemmas in Sports Psychology: When Googling Your Friend Gets Weird by Adrianners (@adrianners)

How do you not know? by missykristy

icebreaker by Cesare

It’s like some surprisingly inclusive and irritatingly sugar-coated rom-com by RocioWrites (@rocioandthatsall)

Long time no see by ddugeun (@chukichi)

My Fun Fact Is: by stillmadaboutpetra

New Friends by viktuuri (@softvictory)

Now I Know by CassidyMoffett (@sweettigerotakureviews​)

Of College Classes and Googling Friends by IceIceSkaters

Outed By Victuuri Smut by Anonymous

Storytime: Celebrity Blindness by likestoimagine (@likestoimagine16)

Tale of the Russian Punk and the Japanese Cinnamon Roll by JamieAvenBell

The Internet Exists for a Reason by tomorrowsdreams

The Moment of Truth by little_miss_laughs_alot

The Secret Life of Professor Katsuki by FreakingOutGirl

This is Why You Google People by StarlightPhoenix (@cleverlittlejay)

Trivia Night by RinaRose (@marina-and-the-fandoms)

Wait, What? by @realisticallycynical 

Yuuri Katsuki-Induced Feels by @i-w-p-chan

~If you want to officially gift your work to me, my AO3/FFN penname is SkyGem!~

Tumblr posts/additions for this post:

Hilarious addition by @p3hero​

Adorable continuation by @deadlychildartemis​

Comic by @lauravian

On why Yuuri’s friends don’t know about Viktor by @blindiemac

Retirement au: Yura edition

Retirement au: Viktor edition by @rocioandthatsall

Translations of this post:

Italian by @randomwalksoul

jimin in purple

often associated with royalty, nobility, luxury, power, and ambition; can also represent wisdom, dignity, devotion, peace, pride, mystery, independence, and magic.

PLEASE STOP SCROLLING FOR A SECOND

I need help.Please reblog this if there is nothing wrong with women/girls having a boyish/tomboy style.I want to prove my parents wrong PLEASE 🙏🏻

Sun Jing the protective girlfriend being relevant as hell

From the Chinese manhua “Tamen de Gushi” by Tan jiu

Headcanon:

everyone is happy

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

I made a dumb thing. Reblog with which emotion x Seventeen member you are!

This is important.

Reasons why I need the A in LGBTIAQ to stand for Asexual, not Ally

Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner

Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me

Because both of them looked at me in disgust

Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband

Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’

Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken

Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality

Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex

I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time

I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry

For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped

We need representation, and we need visibility

That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally