I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…
Aftercare
Aftercare 101
Aftercare For Dominants
Coping With Emotional Subdrop
Dom Drop
How To Make A Sub Drop Kit
Online Aftercare
sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare
Subdrop and Aftercare
Subspace and Aftercare
Consent
Consent & BDSM
Guide to Consent
Doms, Daddies & Masters
7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom
12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive
25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles
30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman
45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For
50 Rules for Daddies
100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess
101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)
Alternative Names For “Daddy”
Alternative Domme Titles
Aspects Of Control
Asserting Ownership - Rules
Daddy Up!
Defining A Daddy Dom
Dominants Need Training Also
Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles
Help For New Doms
How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive
How To Be A Good Dominant
How to Find a Submissive
Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man
New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom
Observations On Doms By A Submissive
So you want to be a Dom?
So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her
Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know
The Dom Commandments
Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind
What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective
What does the title Daddy mean?
What is a Daddy Dom?
What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?
What It Means To Be A Dominant
What Makes A Good Dominant
Littles, Subs & Slaves
6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant
7 Common Types of Submissives
10 Tips For Living With A Sadist
10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive
11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant
26 Baby Girl Jobs
50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy
A Bottom’s Responsibility
A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive
A Man Who Knows You…
A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom
Acid Test For Subs
Ask A Million And One Questions
Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective
Baby girl or little? A brief introduction
Care and feeding of Daddies
Characteristics Of A Good Daddy
Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner
Feminist Submissive
Finding Your Dominant
Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By
Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls
How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.
“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.
How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?
How To Find A Dom
How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom
I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy
Novice Submissives
Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK
Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’
Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.
Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts
Submissive Pride
Submissive Traits - Intelligence
Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me
What is a Little?
When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.
Why I call him Daddy
Your Rights As A Submissive
Long Distance Relationships
10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship
Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship
How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope
Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans
The Long Distance D/s Relationship
Mental Health
BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers
Body image & BDSM
How to Get Over Feeling Sad
Is BDSM normal?
Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!
Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship
Meditation And Mindfulness
On Cutting
Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories
Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction
Tips for Recovering from Codependency
What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)
Why Do I Feel Unloveable?
Relationships
10 Habits of Happy Couples
10 Top Communication Mistakes
10 Types of Emotional Manipulators
12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget
50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”
BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End
BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways
Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective
Communication Is Key
Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships
Daddy Doms and their little girls
Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More
Date Night In A Jar
DD/lg In Public
D/s and Domestication
Factors That Make A Relationship
Finding Love When You Least Expect It
Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests
How To Be Present In Your Relationships
How To Build A Healthy Relationship
How To Get What You Want In A Relationship
How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”
How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship
Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship
Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait
Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore
Searching for a D/s partner?
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships
Stop Arguments Before They Start
The Rewards of a Submissive
Types Of Relationship Insecurity
Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship
What Is Real Love?
When He Doesn’t Call
Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better
Safety
Another life ruined because of the morality police
Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!
Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t
Limits in BDSM
What is Emotional Abuse?
Self Improvement
10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life
10 Steps To Self Care
10 Ways To Be Happy
10 Truths To Live By
Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive
How to be Yourself
How To Deal With Your Enemies
How To Ignore Haters
How to Recognize a Toxic Friend
How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
Slut Shaming Explained
Tips for Healing a Broken Heart
What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?
Sex
50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women
Basics of Breath Play
D/s or Kinky Sex?
Fetishes Explained
How To Make A Girl Squirt
How To Tell Your Son About Sex
Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality
Sensual Biting
Sex: Myths & Stereotypes
Sex: Practical Details
Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control
So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women
Squirting Educational Video
Squirting Notes
Toys
Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs
BDSM on a budget
Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)
Training
10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs
30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten
40 Very Important DD/lg Facts
Age Play: A Short Guide
BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play
DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)
Etiquette in BDSM Part 1
Etiquette in BDSM Part 2
Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings
Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind
Glossary of BDSM Terms
Guide To Blood Play
Guide To Bruising
Guide To Talking Dirty
Guide To Wax Play
How Do I Get Started In BDSM?
How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest
How To Make A Comfort Box
Introduction To BDSM
Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting
Punishments in BDSM Relationships
Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships
Some Thoughts On Rules
The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility
The Need For Rules and Discipline
Topping from the bottom
Interesting position...🤔 bucketlist
Hey my fucking sexy slutty whore lover! You make me soooo wet 😫! Now the questions. Do your followers ever write up stories or scenarios that they imagine you and me in? If they don’t, do you wish they did? Can’t wait to fuck your brains out xxxx Love Zoe xxxxx
No… But id love to see what they come up with 🥰
Your mine tonight you little whore 😈❤️
Excellent post👏🏾😈
So, you’ve wanted to be a “Bull” and now you’ve found that perfect couple. She’s a Hotwife looking for a regular lover. He’s a cuckold (or wants to be) and he’s willing to step aside and let you and his wife become lovers.
Now what?
This is where the men get separated from the boys, pal. I have real experience with this. I’ve seen the best and the worst, of both people and experiences. I’ve also talked to others and shared many stories of real life experiences.
First of all, most single guys are totally clueless when it comes to being a real “Bull” in a cuckold-Hotwife relationship. They think being a Bull is just fucking someone’s wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and this is why most fail miserably.
What most guys don’t understand is that it’s a THREE-WAY RELATIONSHIP. In fact it is more complex than a normal relationship because it involves THREE people, not two.
But wait, you say. I only want to fuck someone’s wife. I don’t need a relationship with her husband. WRONG! You fail. Go back to AFF and start looking for single chicks, because you don’t get it.
On the other hand if you want to learn something that could lead to a higher quality, more satisfying sex life than chasing 20-something year old, clingy, airheaded drama queens then do read on.
Being a Bull means you’re coming into an existing marital relationship. Before you even show up at the door understand that the couple has already discussed what they want long before reaching out for someone like you. Your first job is to find out exactly what they want, and then FIT INTO that.
Then you must follow a certain protocol to create a new three-way relationship. One word of advice: no matter what you expect the relationship to become later, during the first meeting or two you should be a complete gentleman. Until you get some signal from the couple you should NOT initiate anything sexual or act as anything other than a complete gentleman. Even if things should progress into the bedroom during the second (or even first) meeting, you should progress slowly and not overwhelm them.
The perfect relationship WILL NOT happen instantly. It takes an investment of time by everyone INCLUDING YOU. Like any sexual relationship, learning the needs and desires of the other person is a process. As you learn the couple, and they learn you, the relationship becomes more comfortable and the sex gets better. Eventually it will become what you/they envision, but only if everyone works together.
Now, let’s start with “what everyone wants”. There are many variations of cuckold/Hotwife play. Communication is key to getting a clear picture of the desired relationship. There are many studies and theories as to the motivations for the Hotwife-cuckold lifestyle among otherwise monogamous couples. You may want to read up on it, to become better educated about why she wants to fuck someone else and why he wants her to do so. It is both fascinating and erotic reading. The better educated you are the better your experience can be.
The most common underlying theme for most Hotwife/cuckold couples is for the Bull to become the sex partner of choice for the wife. This can range from seeing him occasionally, all the way up to daily sexual encounters. Every couple has a different idea, and it’s important to know what their expectations are. In addition, “real life” can and does often restrict or interfere with the scheduling of play times.
As a Bull, it’s important to realize that you’re dealing with a married couple with job(s), a family, social obligations, perhaps children, etc. There will be times when play will need to be canceled or postponed because of the realities of life. You should always be sensitive to that, and never become angry about last minute changes, cancellations, etc. Be understanding about these setbacks and you’ll be rewarded with a more appreciative and willing wife!
Once you establish everyone’s expectations about frequency, another thing to discuss is how the meetings are arranged. Some prefer regular schedules, i.e. every Saturday night for instance. Others like more flexibility, and even spontaneous meetings. Some of the hottest experiences I’ve been involved with have been spontaneous texts that resulted in late-night, last minute encounters (Horny? Can you come over? Or can I come see you?).
It’s important to know what the couple enjoys. If they’re into the wife having the freedom to reach out to the Bull when she’s horny, or if you all agree that she’s “sexually on demand” to the Bull, then you can enjoy impromptu daytime, lunchtime, or late-night quickies.
Many couples enjoy some level of sexual denial for the husband. Some enjoy limiting intercourse between themselves for several days before the wife plans to meet with the Bull. Others go so far as limiting the husband to handjobs, blowjobs, etc., during the entire time that the wife is seeing another man.
This can be a fun area for the Bull to participate, perhaps demanding that the wife refrain from fucking her husband before their dates, etc. The Bull may even get enjoyment from voicing his demands to the husband in the wife’s presence (i.e., I don’t want you fucking her until I do her Friday night).
The idea of the Bull becoming the sole sexual partner of the wife can be fun to explore, and it’s a core theme in almost all Hotwife-cuckold relationships, with many choosing for the Bull to become her sole “intercourse” partner.
Another area to discuss upfront is your communication with the wife. Some couples prefer that the husband coordinate meetings between his wife and the Bull. Other husband’s grant their wife complete freedom, and she can call, email, text, etc. These are by far the easiest and hottest arrangements, as you can tease, flirt and engage the wife 1-on-1 with complete privacy.
Next you should discuss what the couple expects when it comes to you being alone with the wife. Some couples only play together. This can range from MFM threesomes, to the cuckold husband merely being present and watching. Other couples prefer that the husband be on the premises, but not necessarily in the same room, such as waiting in the living room or in the guest bedroom, perhaps listening in, etc.
Then again, many couples enjoy the wife going out alone on “dates” with the Bull. Realistically, most “dates” consist of the wife merely visiting the Bull at his home or a hotel for a sexual encounter. It’s not uncommon for the husband to help the wife prepare for her dates, often helping her bathe, do her hair, shave her legs and pussy, pick out sexy clothes and help her dress.
Some Bulls take advantage of this by contacting the husband before the date and dictating what he wants the wife to wear for the date, and the husband will select those items for his wife. Some Hotwife-Bulls will call the husband while having sex and let him listen in, or videotape themselves having sex so the wife can show it to the cuckold-husband later. In recent years some have turned to Skype, webcasting and other internet based products to share their acts with the husband watching in real time.
There is a certain excitement that can result from the Bull taking the wife out in public for dinner or a movie, etc. This can be a wise move by a smart Bull, as it not only starts the relationship off in a more traditional manner, but there is also some risk of the wife being seen in public with a strange man. While this may feel uncomfortable for the wife, she will also feel “naughty” and find it exciting nonetheless, which can lead to heightened sexual response later in the evening. This also shows that the wife is sufficiently attracted to the Bull that she will go outside her comfort zone and “take chances” to be with him. This is a good sign that the Bull will be able to push the wife in other areas as well, perhaps persuading her to do things that she may not do with her husband (semi-publix sex, visit a swing club, threesome with another male/bifemale, etc.).
Some couples enjoy overnight encounters. However, this is more common with couples that have already experienced some Hotwife-cuckold play in the past, and is probably not something newer couples would find appealing. However, if it is a possibility, it’s important to discuss those details too. There are many possibilities here, including the wife spending the night at the Bull’s home, the Bull spending the night at the couple’s home, or even an overnight hotel stay. Some also enjoy the wife and Bull going together for out-of-town trips, short cruises, etc.
In those instances where the Bull stays at the couple’s home, there are variations. Will the Bull and wife sleep in the guest room, or in the master bedroom? There is often significance to the wife’s “infidelity” and the marital bed, and the Bull should be sensitive to that.
Some couples limit the wife’s sexual play to places other than the marital bed, i.e. the marital bed is sacred and only for them. Other couples derive additional pleasure from the wife “cheating” in their marital bed, and playing there can be even more exciting for them. You should discuss this ahead of time.
Also, when spending the night it’s important to be clear about the expectations for the husband. Will he be present all night? Will he be present only during the sex, then go sleep in a separate bedroom? The couple often already has an idea of what they would prefer here, so you should find out.
Decide what other places/variations you all might enjoy. Some couples fantasize about the wife and Bull having sex in the backseat of a car or a semi-public spot. Some cuckold husbands enjoy the thought of coming home from work to find their wife in bed with the Bull, or knowing the Bull was at his house fucking their wife while they were at the office. Multiple partners, videotaping sexual encounters, outdoor sex, etc., can all enhance the experiences to be shared.
Bear in mind that most Hotwife-cuckold couples also focus on the Bull being “well-hung”, or at least being better hung than the husband. Ironically this is not something to be avoided around the husband, but instead should be openly discussed as a point of excitement (she NEEDS a bigger cock and he LOVES knowing she needs it). Hopefully, as the Bull, you are better endowed than the husband. However, if not, it’s still possible to build the desired relationship since much of it has to do with the Bull’s attitude and manner. If sufficiently assertive and dominant, most any Bull can still pull it off no matter what his endowment.
The age of the Bull is an area of some debate. Because most couples are seeking a Bull for the wife’s sexual pleasure, they prefer someone with a high sex drive and good stamina. Obviously this is more common in younger men. However, some women find it difficult to be sexually attracted to men significantly younger than they are. As a general rule I find that most couples prefer a Bull to be several years younger than the husband, but not so young as to have insufficient experience to sexually please a mature, married woman. Confidence, demeanor and a good attitude round it out.
Verbal play can also be critical, with both the wife and the Bull engaging in some level of interaction with the husband. Experienced Bulls enjoy telling the husband how enjoyable their wife is in bed, in a teasing, taunting manner. Common things to say might include: Your wife has a sweet pussy; She loves my big dick; She sucks cock great; I’m going to fill her with my cum; This pussy is going to be mine; Your wife is such a slut, etc.
The wife can also participate, working together with the Bull to stimulate her husband, saying things like: His cock is bigger than yours; He fucks me much better; I want him to cum in me; Do you like seeing me like this?; I’m going to fuck him more than you; He’s stretching my pussy out; etc.
Here is a list of some other Things Cucks Love to Hear From Their Hotwives. I often encourage a wife to say things like this to her husband, sometimes whispering in her ear and telling her to tell him, because I often know what the Cuck wants to hear more than the wife knows.
Another important issue is birth control and/or condoms. These are not necessarily the same. Some couples use no birth control other than rhythm method. Other couples use birth control, but may want the Bull to use condoms due to health concerns. This needs to be discussed upfront, and everyone in agreement. Be aware that this may be one of the few areas where the wife and husband will disagree.
The wife may choose the more conservative approach and opt for condom use, while the husband may prefer that the Bull not use a condom and ejaculates inside his wife. This is one reason that the Bull should befriend the husband, as they can both work together to persuade the wife to concede and allow the Bull to engage in intercourse and ejaculate freely inside the wife. For most cuckold husband’s this is one of the most intense aspects of the act, and he will want his wife to get “creampies” from the Bull.
This can also lead to another angle, which involves the cuckold husband going down on his wife after she has had sex. Often called “clean up duty”, it is a staple of most cuckold desires. This act can be an intense experience for the husband, as it totally immerses all of his senses in the undeniable fact that his wife has been “slutty and unfaithful”, which is what turns him on the most. Many couples do this after the wife returns home from a “date”, but it also can occur soon or immediately after a sexual encounter at home. See my blog on Creampies.
If the three of you play in each other’s presence then consider including this after you engage in intercourse with the wife. The act itself can have a slight humiliation aspect to it, and some cuckolds enjoy being “told” to do this by the wife and/or the Bull. It can be both a post-sexual act to bring the wife to another orgasm, as well as a means to prepare the wife for the next round of intercourse.
Also, remember that relationships evolve. For instance, at first the wife may want her husband to be present for all sexual play. Later she may become comfortable playing while her husband is in another room. That could eventually lead to her playing alone, and visiting the Bull at his home. Or perhaps the couple isn’t interested in an overnight stay at first, but in time they may become comfortable with that idea. Many ideas can become more appealing as the relationship progresses.
There is one rather extreme variation of the Hotwife-cuckold theme, which is the idea of the wife becoming pregnant by the Bull. In reality almost all couples separate this fantasy from reality. No sane couple would intentionally bring a child into the world just to fulfill a sexual fantasy. But an offshoot that is a common theme is “pregnancy risk sex”. Some couples find it more exciting if the wife has intercourse with the Bull during times when she is near ovulation. Others like to use the withdrawal method during this time of her cycle, playing with fire so to speak.
Some wives are reluctant to openly discuss this fantasy, as they find it too close to reality. After all, pregnancy COULD happen. Yet, the idea can still turn them on and a smart Bull can use this to create intense sexual experiences. Nature’s urges can be strong and therefore exploitable. I know wives who get extra wet at the thought that they could get pregnant from the good looking guy pumping his sperm into them. Many wives have fantasized about a man refusing to pull out when asked (forceful insemination), or had thoughts of becoming so aroused that they lose the willpower to ask the Bull to pull out at all. Keep this in mind if you want to enhance your encounters with a Hotwife. It can be a powerful addition to the experience as long as you use subtlety and innuendo.
After discussing all of those important issues, you should have a good idea whether or not your desires and those of the couple are a good match. If they are, then what you need to do is craft a plan that has one important goal: You must become the Alpha Male in the relationship.
All social mammals have Alpha Males. They are the fastest, strongest and/or smartest males in the pack. Females are instinctively drawn to the Alpha Male because they have the best genetic material. Human females are no different. If two men are in her life, a woman will instinctively become more attracted to the Alpha Male.
When you come into the relationship, remember that you are altering an existing bond between two people. There is an emotional bond and a sexual bond. You don’t EVER want to do anything that interferes or hurts the emotional bond. If you do, both the husband and the wife will react negatively. In fact the strong emotional bond is required to give them the comfort to include a third person in their relationship. If you weaken their emotional bond then insecurities and jealousy will emerge and ruin everything. NEVER ever make a play for the wife as anything other than a sex partner. If you do then everything will come to an end.
However, their sexual bond is entirely different. Not only CAN you break that bond, you MUST break it. Breaking their sexual bond and then bonding sexually with the wife is your goal. When it comes to sex, you want her to think of you.
When you first meet the couple, know that the wife loves her husband and looks to him for sex. If you do everything right, in time she will still love him but she will LUST FOR YOU if she begins to view you as the Alpha Male.
Becoming the Alpha Male in the wife’s eye is easy, but only if you follow a certain path.
First, you must befriend her husband. That’s right. He needs to become your buddy. This should involve some light male bonding, such as watching a few ball games, drinking some beer together, a fishing trip, whatever. In addition, the first time or two you are together with the couple you need to play the role of buddy with the husband (even if you’ve already started having sex with the wife).
After all, you and he are on the same team. You want to take his wife away, sexually speaking. He wants the same thing, because more than anything he wants to see her become an insatiable slut again and he knows she needs someone new to do that. So make him a friend and keep him a friend. There WILL come times when you’re trying to persuade the wife to do something, and having her husband as an ally can be very helpful!
By the second or third visit, you should begin to assert yourself. Ask the husband to get your drinks and refills AND ask him to get the wife’s drink too! This is very important, as it shows that you’re looking out for “YOUR” woman. You can bet that the wife will notice this too, although she probably won’t say anything.
If you’ve already started having sex with the wife, take this same attitude into the bedroom. At first, suggest that the husband sit and watch you two have sex. You want to mostly ignore him but you can still talk to him and have his wife talk to him at times. But I mostly act as if he’s not there and at times I honestly can forget he’s there. The wife should be your focus. But at some point act like you’re thirsty and ask him to go get drinks for you and your lady. Ask him to get a towel or lube or whatever else you can think of. Make up tasks if you have to. The point is to have him do things when you ask.
During later visits this should progress to you telling him what to do in the bedroom. You should get no resistance if you progress slowly from being his buddy… to asking him to do things… to then telling him what to do. It will seem like a natural progression for everyone involved, including the wife (who will be noticing everything).
Many wives get aroused watching this progression. That arousal is going to benefit you. In her eyes you will be emerging as the Alpha Male. Eventually, you should be able to tell the husband to do anything non-sexual, and he will oblige.
Next, take it to the sexual level. You want to get him involved and excited, while making it clear that you’re still in charge. You can “allow him” to suck his wife’s breasts or rub her clit when you’re fucking her. Have him grab her ankles and pull her legs wide apart when you’re pumping your cock into her. Have him go down on her before you fuck her, or even between fucks, to keep her wet and ready. Have him kiss his wife deeply while you make her cum.
You can do anything you want, as long as he gets involved occasionally to experience his wife’s sexual intensity when she’s with you. You want him to smell the sex, hear her gasps and feel her hot, sweaty skin. After a while tell him to stop and go sit back down. Show him that you will allow him the occasional joy of touching his wife, but that you’re definitely in control.
Another thing to consider is telling him to take out his cock and masturbate while he watches. You could tell him to cum while watching his wife getting laid, or go the other way and tell him to masturbate but not to cum. Again, use your imagination, as long as you’re telling him reasonable things to do. Remember, the wife will be watching too, and she will notice how much more dominant you’re becoming over her husband.
Once things have progressed to this point the wife should really be into you, and she should see you as the Alpha Male. In her eyes, you should have completely replaced her husband in the bedroom. If she still seems to split her allegiance between him and you, or if you just want to take it to a higher level of dominance, consider making the husband put your cock in his mouth.
Believe it or not this has nothing to do with gay or bi-male sex. It’s strictly about domination. If you’ve ever watched wildlife footage of a wolf pack, then you noticed the body language of other males when they’re around the dominant Alpha Male. They maintain a low body stance, and physically roll over showing their underbelly. They submit completely. Not only does the Alpha Male see this, all of the female wolves notice it too. That’s why the Alpha Male gets the females.
If you really want the wife to be “yours” sexually, let her see you being dominant over her husband. She will be impressed and aroused. Plus, it’s one hell of a power trip. To learn how to make this happen, click here, How to get him to roll over.
Once things reach this point, the wife will see you as the Alpha Male whenever you’re together. When she gets horny, she’ll think of you. She’ll fantasize about you, and do anything within her limits to please you sexually.
With married women it’s ALL about the sex. They’re not into drama and they’re not seeking commitment. She won’t be stalking you and you won’t find her crying on your front doorstep. When she calls or texts you that means she wants to fuck. When you need sex you can call or text her and she’ll come running. Better yet, her husband will encourage it all and help with the arrangements. You’ll get more sex and better quality sex from a willing, married woman than you will with most single women out there.
That’s why it’s so worth the time investment to build and cultivate the ultimate Bull-Hotwife-cuck relationship!
This year has to be better than the last one right.
Next time should be without the condom.
D o m i n a | goddess-in-furs
Keeping this for later.
A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.
Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”–punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.
The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)
Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.
Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.
Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being.
NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.
Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive.
Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.
Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.
Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.
Humiliation
A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across.
Clothing Restriction
Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.
Diapering
For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.
Sissification
Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems.
Public Humiliation
Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.
Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is simply that–controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.
Edging
Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.
Toy Restriction
For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.
Forced Orgasms
Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal–either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm.
Denial
Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.
Chastity
Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.
Domestic Discipline
Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.
Chores
Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!
Furniture Restriction
Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.
Caging
Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.
Bedtime
A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.
Time-Out
Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.
Sensory Deprivation
Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.
Objectification
Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.
Dietary Restriction
If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.
Speech Restriction
For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.
Corporal Punishment
Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.
Impact
If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes.
Rice Kneeling
Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.
Figging
Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.
Writing Assignments
Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.
Lines
Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.
Apology Letter
An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.
Essay
An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.
Homework
Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you–because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.
It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!
xx SF
younger subs (18-21 year olds) or new to kink subs, please make friends with other subs. please talk to people who aren’t potential partners about your kinks, please create safety nets for yourselves, please don’t let doms hold too much power over you. it’s easy to miss red flags or to misread them as part of the kink, having other subs to check in with can really help you be less vulnerable to manipulation or coercion.
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