Kades-stuff - My Bullshittery

Get yourself a fabric store that will light your fabric on fire for you

No but legit I asked what the fiber content of something was and the guy didn’t know so he cut a chunk off and lit it on fire and felt the ashes and was like. Yeah this is mostly cotton with a lil bit of silk. And that was the moment I knew. This is it. This is the fabric store for me. Also that guy is marriage material. Not for me but damn some person is gonna be so happy with him.

Draco, watching the Little Mermaid: Why is she brushing her hair with a fork? What???

Harry, crashing through the door: it's a dinGLEHOPPER. TALK TO ME ONCE YOU'VE EDUCATED YOURSELF you UNCULTURED SWINE!!!!

… Was a friend

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

Hermione: [mimicking Draco] LOOK! I'm a MALFOY, I'd rather be anywhere than here! I'm all about long sullen silences, followed by mean comments, followed by more silence!

Hermione: So what's it gonna be: long sullen silence or mean comment? Go on, take your pick.

Sirius: Who the fuck-

McGonagall: Language, Black.

Sirius: Whom the fuck-

McGonagall: No.

Draco: That's my way of doing things. When life gives me pain, I take that pain and push it down. And if that pain starts to come up again, I push more pain down on top of it. Why confront something when you can avoid it, right?

Harry: ...Draco, do you need a hug?

{This user uses they/them pronouns}

Remus: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Sirius: What if it bites me and it dies?

Remus: That means you're poisonous.

Sirius: What if it bites itself and I die?

Peter: That's voodoo.

Sirius: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Remus: That's correlation, not causation.

Sirius: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

James: That's kinky.

Remus: Oh, my god.