Pelted By An Image In My Brain I Needed To Draw

Okay, so this is the most niche thing ever, but my friend @caywall is big into this band named Yardact (I also enjoy quite a bit of their songs), and he was curious about any potential connection between them and Chonny. So now this exists in the world. The two other fans of both Chonny and Yardact are freaking out right now.

Damn everyone forcing me to reblog today /j

PJSEKAI Saki but HEART???????

OG under cut

A little vent I did with a bit of a happy ending (don't worry btw it's just nice to write about it)

 I look into the mirror, and a tight knot is tied into my stomach. A bubbling starts in the depths of my gut and crawls up my body into my chest. It was very similar to how I felt when I got car sick on summer road trips as the feeling of throwing up grew inside me. The big difference is that it’s much more concentrated and there's a lower likelihood of throwing up. Much lower but not none. There was the obvious fact I’m quite fat or “chubby” if you didn’t want to be too blunt about it. Maybe I could deal with that if it was distributed more femininely, but I guess it makes sense why it wasn’t. My stomach bulged out, and the fat pushed out the side, messing up my back as well. There’s a unique torture in understanding you’re trans but not being able to do something about it. You have a need you can not fill. A hunger while the apple’s branch pulls upward every time you reach for it. Having no mouth and an intense need to scream. My family might be accepting, but there’s definitely the chance they’re not, especially with some things I’ve heard dad listen to. Even if I came out today and they embraced me as Kathrine fully, the next problem is the problem of money. The idea of insurance covering HRT is almost laughable, and even with how it would improve my well-being, it would be selfish to ask for it while we have more pressing payments and medical problems. Just two more years, I suppose. Two more years of hating the name everyone but my friends call me. Two more years of cuddling in my bed pretending to be a pretty girl to soften the blow of reality. Two more years of feeling like a creep when I imagine myself as that girl. Two more years of making social media accounts under Kat to feel any amount of euphoria. Two more years of telling my friends to call me that horrible name around my parents. Two more years of hiding my google searches and YouTube recommendations from my family. Two more years of hating every atom of me when my grandma calls me a nice young man or a fun boy. Two more years of writing stupid words in a google doc to vent. Two more years sound like a long time when you put it like that, but I've been doing this for a while, and a lot changes when you take a different perspective. Two more years till I can tell everyone to call me Kat. Two more years till I can take the magic blue pill to feel more like me. Two more years with great friends that help me. Two more years to save up money to not only be able to buy HRT but hopefully much more. Two more years of getting better at writing. Only two more years till I can be me. 

Finished version somehow looks even better than the wip

Drawing Mine and @gremlin-numero-uno (my wife) ponysonas :3 (WIP)

That's when you bust out, "word" synonym, on Google

Uhhhh PUNK ROCK HOLOCAUST!1!1

Not nearly enough likes on this

I decided to make an official reference for how I like to draw Heart.

(W/o notes and tears under cut.)

(I drew this man’s face eight times until I was happy with it.)

I think some people forget that some literature and some media is meant to be deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It's meant to make you have a very visceral reaction to it. If you genuinely can't handle these stories then you are under no obligation to consume them but acting as if they have no purpose or as if people don't have a right to tell these stories, stories that often relate to the darkest or most disturbing parts of life, then you should do some introspection.

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

Shut up, You’re Stupid

Just be my friggin’ man