keystew

Latest Posts by keystew

The Sea Foam Dragon

ive gotta say people on the internet being honest about what they find hot in people's bodies and behaviors has done more for my body image issues than any body-positivity mantra ever. thank you people on the internet for being horny about literally every possible part and variation of the human body and for sharing it

Warm embrace

HE MUST TAKE HIS REST IN THE FOREST!!!

we need to slow down a little I'm so serious. all these quick short videos on tiktok, ig reels, and youtube, artists releasing quick little songs for the trend, tv shows releasing episodes at once, people using chat gpt and google ai overview because they get answers quickly but no validation done for the source, we need to sloww downn i really do not think our brains should be running this fast

Interview with the cheerleader

let voices be in charge

History of Playgirl Magazine for Esquire, 2017

A Woman’s Lot

bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right

the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears

the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry

if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, bellend, etc.

and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real

I got too excited while playing chess and told my opponent that I was going to slit his throat and slaughter him like a hog. something to work on for next time

sexy knights. sexy wounded knights. sexy wounded weary knights. sexy wounded weary knights in the rain. sexy wounded weary knights in the rain pledging their loyalty to you.

sunrise on the reaping is just this onion headline over and over again:

do you think the capitol ever made hunger games video games?? like u can pick your fighter (previous winners), or even create your own? with full character customization?? and choosing your own arena??? i feel sick

do you think the guard who always tells the truth and the guard who always lies ever explored each other's bodies

I think if astarion was real he'd love crypto currency just for the scam of it all. I think he'd repeatedly launch new coins under different aliases and then rug pull every single one. I think that would really do it for him.

can't stop thinking about this movie tbh..

Ekaterina

If I was an Anne Rice vampire I absolutely would not be joining a coven. I am going to Portland or San Francisco or one of those cities full of hot freaks who are into weird shit and I am biting all of my lovers until one of them stays with me forever. Then we're buying a winter home in Tromsø so we can go outside during business hours half the year. Then we're buying a house boat in the Greek islands and another one off the coast of Mexico so we can sleep on the water during the day and spend the night at Mykonos or Cancun. Then we're buying an absurd amount of hard drugs because we can't be killed, and fucking for seven months straight with no breaks. Like screw the brooding and the drama, the second I'm rich and invincible I'm going balls to the wall until Jordan Belfort looks at me with jealousy in his eyes.

VICE at-home interview of “the trans dr frankenstein” americas most notorious distributor of illegal hrt/backalley gender reassignment surgeries actually just a weird antisocial 20-something obsessed with midcentury “male figure magazines” and drinks monster while planning domestic terrorist attacks on politicians etc

tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

nothing that a haircut and a wardrobe update and a detox and a sex change and a fake ID and getting medicated and selling all my stuff and faking my death and moving country can't fix

Me: *stubs my toe* "AH FUCK!"

Mass of quivering flesh that's been growing in my cabinet and slowly feeding off my suffering until it develops sentience: *takes first breath*

OH MINE GOD,😳😳 I ACCIDENTALLY 🙈🙈 HATH SENT😳 THOU A PICTURE OF MINE COCK AND BALLS🍆🍆...PRITHEE DELETE IT!❌❌🛑! 'LEST...THOU DESIRE TO LOOK?😏😏 HAHA I JEST..🤣🤣, DELETE IT.🛑❌..SHOULD THEE CRAVE..?😳🙈... HAHA NAY,❌ BANISH IT.🛑🛑..'LEST?🙈😳