Everyday I’ve Been Thinking Im Not Gonna Go Into Ao3 Today And Then I Get A Notification About A New

to be loved the way i love f1, what a thought, but not like ferrari since 2010, no, that’s like a cursed love letter you keep reading even though it’s giving “toxic ex who keeps texting” vibes. no thank you, i’d rather be loved like red bull in 2023— chaotic, fast, a bit of drama, but at least we’re winning and making everybody mad. and maybe like mclaren after 2024? who knows, still figuring it out, but they’ll get there and so will i, just. let me breathe.

i’m not even sure i want to be loved— i just want speed, and noise, like driving down a street, f1 music blaring while my 1.2L engine pretends it’s a turbocharged beast, but it’s not, it’s just me, pretending i’m at monaco. but somehow it feels real.

so i went and chose engineering, because who wouldn’t want to suffer, like i’m not already doing enough by being born too late to be an f1 driver. like, yeah, i could’ve raced at 18, but here i am, soldering wires and calculating resistance, living the delusion that somehow, someway, toto wolff will see my tweets and hand me a seat so i can drive into the pit of my dreams.

but nah, i’m just here, pretending i’m quicker than i am, just like when i got my license at 18 and blasted f1 tracks as if i was about to win silverstone, while my car barely passed the speed bump at the end of my block. it was freedom, though. it was delusional and it was everything.

maybe i’m not even in love with people, maybe i’m just addicted to the idea of speed— and yeah, the walls i keep hitting don’t help, but hey, if i crash into a barrier, at least it’s a passion crash. i’m in love with the chaos. maybe that’s my problem.

but pls—if you’re gonna love me, don’t love me like ferrari, don't love me like “oh, we were so close but here’s p2,” love me like red bull— always faster, always something up in the air, always winning (in the most chaotic way possible). that’s the vibe i’m after, that’s the dream i’m chasing.

so, here i am—delusional, writing f1 rpf fanfics at 2 a.m. while figuring out why i’m broke and why my heart beats to the rhythm of pit stops, but if you get it, then maybe you get me. or maybe we’re both just chasing something that’s always just out of reach.

(aka: send help, and a car with a turbo unit, pls.)

gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.

i approach human relationships in a normal manner

hi! i was wondering what post of souvenir116 inspired you to write the kingdom, the power and the glory! its such a good read and im so interested to see what inspired it!

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💬 0  🔁 39  ❤️ 293 · fic idea where Charles actually takes Max out in that corner and Max loses the championship... bring out the angst and

this one! and also thank you so so so much for reading!!

i have an unhealthy obsession with your works. in past days i’ve read almost all of them, some more than once, i keep sending favourite quotes to my bestie, i can’t be contained. crack is very much not my cup of tea but i eat up all of your writing like am starving.

yeah, so anyway, love your work, keep going

mate you have no idea how happy i am to hear that. thank you so so so much for reading❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love how you completely disappear from the face of the earth for while and then return to bless us with the most life changing fics ever.... I LOVEDDD the new fics especially the lestappen to Cadillac one

( also Greek tragedies update when?? 😭😭 ) (no pressure tho, take ur time 🤍)

lmao inspiration sneaked up on me and held me by my neck and cradled me into writing a couple of fics.

also greek tragedies will happen when I SAY IT HAPPENS. aka i don't have a plot for it. i was technically planning on making greek tragedies into two parts.. first part being what it now is and second part being the continuation of bearnelli fic as well, with the quest and stuff.. but I can't for the love of all things whimsical figure out a way to write it down. but I will get there somehow. nothing to worry abt. sorry abt the rant. love you for reading. love you for existing. byeee

STOP THINKING THERE IS A DEADLINE. THERE IS NO DEADLINE. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND TAKE YOUR TIME.

hm fun.

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

this moves me.

hes so embarrassing put the football down

love when stories inflict unspeakable horrors onto a person for no real reason. its not karma. its not payback. its not a lesson. its not your fault. no ones even out to get you in particular. youre not the chosen one or special or anything. it just sorta happened and you were there. sorry man