Anvya‌:

seojvns‌:

“okay,” he says as a certainty. confidence in any aspect has never been, and will probably never be, a strong suit of his, but he’ll try to believe kian’s words. not for himself - he rarely does anything for his own sake, but because he genuinely does trust him entirely. a small grin appears on his lips as kian says he does too, already feeling a growing excitement in the pit of his stomach just from the thought. jun’s almost completely still as kian’s lips press to the corner of his mouth. though it’s not the first time, each time it happens jun reverts back to a shyness that he doesn’t typically feel around kian anymore. but, without fail, as soon as they cross any line of friendship, he begins to feel an even deeper desperation towards the other. every time they’re this close, he knows it’s exactly what he wants. it’s the delicate way kian goes into it, and how he can make jun physically feel how much he cares. jun accepts the invitation and leans into kian, pressing his lips against his with an eagerness he tried, and obviously failed, to suppress. “you have?” he whispers in response, finding it too hard to believe. “i think about it all the time,” he mumbles sheepishly, caught up in the moment just enough to be completely blunt with his feelings. his hand’s on kian’s neck now, his thumb lightly brushing his cheek affectionately. it feels like a big moment, but he doesn’t know how wrong he is about that. “i’m not,” he says too quickly, his words wrapped with a sense of pleading, like he needs kian to know how untrue that is. as soon as he says it’s annoying, jun’s smiling too. “no one could be too good for you,” he adds with a pout, “and that’s really everything i need to know.”

as soon as seojun’s resolve gives and he presses back into him, chasing the kiss that kian cuts off a little too quickly, he knows that he has the green light; his roommate is definitely still right where he wants him. “mhm.” he hums in response, eyes glinting with something mischievous. he isn’t surprised when the other boy admits that he thinks about the prospect of them being together all the time, but he still pretends to be. he breaks out into a grin, head dropping as he feigns embarrassment. “imagine how mortifying it would’ve been if i said that, but you didn’t reciprocate.” he states, knowing that the scenario was never even a possibility. “you’re wrong.” he says, bluntly. “you truly put me on such a high pedestal, junnie. i don’t deserve it.” he adds, a slither of honesty seeping through the cracks of his mask. he drags his index finger down the boy’s jawline and sighs. “is it weird i kinda just wanna stay here?” he questions, letting out a light laugh. “i don’t wanna ruin the moment.” he admits, jutting his lips out into a pout. “we should at least do something before we go.” he suggests. “like... tear up the bible or push over a few bookshelves or dig through the librarian’s desk or, you know, whatever.”

☆ — ❛ imessage : kian ▶ annya. ❜

ANNYA: b/c i need to know you're at least in a safe place if you're drinking like this

ANNYA: no i don't, hate is a toxic feeling i refuse to have

ANNYA: kian, there's no point in talking about this in the state you're in, now where are you?

KIAN: idt doesnt mdatter nothing mteatrs

KIAN: i know kcause uyr ptreecf & i suck & i cvnat believe i ever hsad you then lolst you di'm so stupid

KIAN: if ei tlle you are yyou gonna come here??

KIAN: ti'm sorry i messed up so bad annya ui'm sporry you met me i'mm sorry i cvouldn't bqe waho you wanted ume kto be vi wish di could say enough sorrys fto make everything bettter

                                     and behind the mask of m a t u r i t y                                                        that you wear,                                     a pair of eyes belonging to a ( CHILD )                                          stares back at you in the mirror.

                                                 you are not a warrior,                                                           MY LOVE,                                                  you are merely a boy.

seojvns‌:

when kian scoots closer, jun can feel the nervousness seep in. not in a sense that he’s genuinely nervous - as his roommate, he probably knows jun in a way most don’t. instead, it’s the kind of nervousness that leaves jun feeling a little lightheaded, and he shifts a bit closer anyway. wanting to see the pages was an excuse, but not the reason. “i’d like that,” he says, his tone soft as he considered the thought, and he was naive enough to think it was a genuine possibility. it’s difficult for him to concentrate on planning anything, in all honesty, and planning has never been a strength of jun’s to begin with. he keeps stealing glances at kian when he should be looking at the pages, but his focus keeps slipping. he laughs softly when kian knocks his feet into jun’s, and again once he complains about the quiet. “if you didn’t want quiet, this is the worst place you could’ve picked,” he teases. he barely notices that the page turns, his attention on kian almost entirely now. as soon as he considers jun, and what he wants, he’s thrown off. “oh, uh…” it’s almost as though he’s not asked about what he wants very often. “i think camping would be fun,” he answers, on his side now as he faces kian. “just… getting lost in the woods somewhere,” he adds with a sheepish smile. 

“camping?” he quirks a brow, genuinely interested. “i didn’t take you for the camping type.” he admits, propping his head up with his elbow. “it’s really not all that fun, but the company makes it better. see, camping with my family? worst possible decision. a fat zero out of ten. but, camping with you? definitely somewhere like an eight out of ten.” he teases with a smile. even though it’s almost completely dark aside from the flashlight, kian’s eyes have adjusted and, even through it, he can make out the planes of seojun’s face. “sounds like the setup to an extremely cliche horror movie.” he points out. “one that we wouldn’t survive because, one—” he holds up a finger, “we’re not white. and, two—” he holds up another, “we’re not straight. those would both get us axed in the first ten minutes.” he explains, a certain glint in his eye that’s hidden by the darkness. “or, well, i guess i can only speak for myself. maybe you’re exclusively into girls. i dunno.” he shrugs, settling onto his back again as he reopens the book. “for all i know, you could be living a double life; fucking girls right here on this table in the library.” he says, breathing a light laugh through his nose.

when you try to come up with smth witty to say cause you’re a tru comedian but end up floppin HARD! literally smash that heart if you can relate! but hey i’m mikhia or if you’re into nicknames then you can call me mikki i honestly truly don’t...... care lmao? i haven’t been in a roleplay in a long time because like school fuckin sucked my dudes but i recently turned eighteen and i’m now ready to hang ten ZZDMDKF! k anyway lemme get on with it i’m tiredt! if you prefer plotting on discord or just wanna talk some shit then you can find me at YUKHEI’S WHITE GIRL LAUGH #5355 but without the caps! i don’t actually know if that makes a difference but anyways.....

messy info dump

* ↪ jeon jungkook. he/him. cismale. ╱ i thought i saw kian ko getting questioned by the police. the nineteen year old is in their second year at west bridge studying film production. there’s a rumor that everyone there always called them the cataclysmic because they were beguiling but at the same time morose. do you think they had something to do with her death? + chipped nail polish, morning light peeking through the curtains, soft curls parted down the middle, blinking neon signs, fresh tattoos, shattered iphone screens, missed calls at two in the morning, and long drives down isolated roads.

growing up it was just kian and his dad living in a big, isolated house at the end of a road where no one knew each other. he never knew what happened to his mom, but he also never asked. him and his dad didn’t have the kind of relationship for that; him and his dad were never close enough to have personal conversations. 

the two of them only spoke like ten words to each other by the time the boy was ten and had been completely raised by a nanny. but then everything changed when she just didn’t show up one day and his dad decided to play the role of a parent for once.

he was shit at it and constantly yelled at kian, even pushing him around and smashing his toys just cause he felt like it. he didn’t understand what he had ever done wrong and a part of him thought that this was just how every parent treated their child.

when he was twelve, he ended up finding an old camcorder and instantly fell in love with filming everything around him. it all looked so beautiful through a lens, untainted. but he was young and kids can be dumb. he ended up recording over one of the tapes inside and when his dad found out, he completely lost it.

apparently kian had taped over an old home video of his mom, one that his dad watched frequently, and it became the catalyst for events that would change his life forever. it was the first time his dad was ever physically abusive towards him.

he doesn’t really have much memory of the event, but he does remember being at the top of the stairs filming before everything went black. he found out later that his dad had pushed him down the stairs, but it was ruled an accident and he was put back into his care after he healed.

things only got worse from there with his dad constantly telling him that he was a monster, that no one would ever love him, and that no one would care if he died. these things clawed their way down his throat and found a home in his lungs until he felt like he could no longer breathe.

when he got older and a little colder, he started fighting back and it ended up just being a big brawl between him and his dad all the time. they would literally beat the shit out of each other multiple times a week until, suddenly, it all stopped when he was sixteen.

his dad remarried and the woman brought in two younger children. then, suddenly, his dad was someone else entirely. it was like the bitter old man had been replaced by the most wholesome being in the world. he acted like a completely different person and it pissed kian off. but it also inspired him in a way.

he changed his personality too, became the picture perfect son who played sports and got good grades. he held up his image well, but the monster his father always told him he was never went away. it just waited under his facade until the perfect time to strike.

it was after his first real girlfriend that he decided he liked hurting people. he liked breaking their hearts because it made him feel like a god. he was the perfect boyfriend, dating girls and boys and anyone that was dumb enough to fall for his tricks. he would make sure that he was all they thought about, that they were sure they were in love with him, and then he would rip the rug right out from under them.

nothing made him happier than watching them cry and beg him not to do this. they looked so ugly and broken and he couldn’t think of anything more beautiful. he liked seeing people at their most vulnerable, got off on it.

it was around that same time that he also got into drugs, cocaine specifically, and it helped to perk him up; it helped to make him not look so dead inside. he was a great actor, but the eyes are the window to the soul and his held nothing inside.

when he left for college, he constructed a backstory where he was the son of a pastor who graduated as valedictorian and blushed when complimented. none of that was true, but it didn’t matter. everyone would believe him and would never question it.

he stuck to his story, but things changed when he met annya at freshman orientation. things were different with her and he knew he was fucked, but he let it happen anyway. she brought out a side to him that he thought was long gone and he almost started to believe he could be loved.

but then his dad showed up one day letting him know that he was divorcing kian’s step-mother and it was obvious that he had turned back into the man that would push his son around and make him feel worthless.

so kian regressed as well. he became ugly and cruel towards the one person that made him feel alive and, because of that, she left. it was a hard blow but it brought him back to reality. he couldn’t afford love so he knew it was better off that way, no matter if it hurt.

so he was back to his original plan. he started dating anyone and everyone, cheating on them, breaking their hearts in the worst possible way, all while holding up his perfect little church boy persona.

k so i wanted to add more to this but i’m just so over it i’m too tired to think atm lmao! but a few other things are that he’s a part of a frat and he does play sports. he probs mostly plays more physical sports to get out his aggression like football, lacrosse, hockey, etc so rivals/teammates come thru! i’m sure y’all can tell that i’m a sucker for angst so hit me with that good shit ya? i don’t have a page for specific wanted connections so if you wanna brainstorm or whateva then just GIVE THIS POST A LIKE and i’ll come to you or add me on discord and we can plot there!

seojvns‌:

“i do trust you,” he says, and it’s never about not trusting kian. there are few people that he trusts as much as jun does him. as he speaks, his words make sense, and seojun’s nodding slowly. “that’s true,” he agrees, about it being difficult to see himself as others see him, and how that’s true for everyone. he wishes he could see what kian does though. maybe he’d be able to like himself a little bit more if he did. “i guess i believe you,” he teases, and when kian says he’s not sure if anyone’s worth having him, he laughs as though it were a joke. “don’t be ridiculous,” he says with a soft scoff, gently pushing at his shoulder. “just honest, hmm?” he hums with a grin, choosing not to argue further once kian’s leaning over to press his lips to jun’s cheek. “well, it’s easy to take risks with you,” he admits, because he trusts him so much. it feels like nothing could ever go wrong when he’s with kian. “i guess it’s good i’ve never claimed that i’m not a cliche,” he adds in his own defense, “even if it’s a nineties, or early two thousands, cliche,” he says with a soft laugh. when kian asks him if he wants to, the answer seems obvious to jun, even if he hadn’t thought about it much prior to him asking. “um… not really,” he answers, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “i just don’t know how to do that?” he confesses sheepishly. “what about you? do you wanna take more risks?” he questions in return, head tilting slightly as his eyes remain on kian. “maybe… we could learn how to together.”

a shiver runs down his spine at the words. i do trust you, he says, and kian preens. once someone trusts you, it’s so easy to get everything you want. and seojun has always made it abundantly clear that he does, indeed, trust his roommate wholeheartedly. no matter that kian is probably the last person on earth that should have that kind of power. “no guessing.” he shakes his head. “just have the confidence to believe me.” he says, voice barely above a whisper. it feels more intimate that way. “i do.” he confirms, eyes bouncing between seojun’s. “yeah, maybe we could. maybe we should.” he agrees, the wheels turning in his head. leaning forward, he presses a kiss to the corner of his roommate’s mouth then to his lips. it’s chaste, merely a light brush, but he knows this is the game he has to play in order to keep seojun right where he wants him. though, he can’t deny the tenderness of it and somewhat relishes in the feel of the boy’s soft, plump lips against his own. it’s familiar in a way that kian isn’t necessarily used to; it’s familiar in a way that he can’t pinpoint. “i’ve thought about it.” he says, lips brushing against the other’s as he speaks. he keeps his words vague, slipping easily into the more manipulative side of his game. “about us. together.” he clarifies, his right hand slowly trailing over seojun’s chest to wrap around the back of his neck. “but you’re too good for even me. shouldn’t that tell you everything you need to know? you’re perfect and—” he pauses, licking his lips, “it’s so goddamn annoying.” he smiles.