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seojvns‌:

“well,” he begins in defense, because he’s not the camping type at all, “i’ve never been. it’s one of those bucket list kind of ideas that i’ve always wanted to do but just haven’t gotten around to?” he tries to explain. the thought of camping with his own parents is enough to make him physically cringe, but as soon as kian mentions the idea of camping with him being an eight out of ten, the smitten expression that’s usually on his face when jun’s with him reappears. “like a horror movie?” he questions, eyes widening at the thought as kian explains exactly why they’d never make it out of the woods alive. “i’m not into girls,” he protests, before correcting himself, “i mean, i am, just not exclusively. i like everyone,” and after the briefest pause he’s explaining himself again, “not, like, everyone, just,” he huffs in frustration, feeling flustered. “i like boys and girls,” he says after letting out a breath, “and i don’t have a double life,” he adds with another huff. “the thought of me doing anything on this table is…” he laughs nervously, “really ridiculous. i’d never,” but never’s a strong word and he’s a weak boy - so to say never was probably a lie, even if he didn’t necessarily realize it. 

“no worries, junnie.” he says, features stretching into a grin, “i’ll take your camping virginity.” and he leaves it at that, turning another page, and pretending like he’s at all interested in what the words say. “must be why we get along so well.” he says, nonchalantly. “i also like everyone. gender doesn’t mean shit to me, kinda stupid when you think about it, you know? like— if you’re lucky enough to find someone who you really dig and who digs you back then why would you let something so trivial stop you? imagine falling in love, but you’re so caught up in the person being the same sex as you that you throw it all away, only to lead a miserable life.” he shakes his head, thumbing at the corner of the page. “what do you mean never?” he questions, head lolling to the side to look at him again. “it’d be fun. i mean, it’s already sort of an adrenaline rush being here when we’re not suppose to so think about what it’d be like to fuck someone in a place that you’re not suppose to. every time you’d step foot into the library, it’s like you’d have your own little secret. i bet people have fucked in here before.” he says, suddenly turning on his side again, the book completely forgotten. “i have a question.” he states. “where is the craziest place you’ve ever hooked up with someone?”

dashicns‌:

for once dashi was actually excited to be surrounded by his fellow students, the frostival was his favorite part about going to west bridge and it brought the perfect distraction from all the whole mess that has been going on recently. he was huddled over by the ice skating rink because was weirdly good at ice skating and absolutely loved to show off and force the nearest familiar face into joining him. “you know you want to!” he sang at the other as he waved a pair of skates in front of them. everything about him was uncharacteristically soft and friendly but he couldn’t help it, the atmosphere of frostival brought back the sweetest memories of his time in korea with his mother, evidently it made him into nicest self. “please come skate with me, its better skating with two than one!” he whined, which he would never admit to himself that he did.

“and why’s that?” he asks curiously, leaning against the railing. he watches a few people skate by and can’t help the laugh that slips past his lips when a few fall. “i’m not about to break out into some ice skating routine with you.” he states, taking the pair from dashi’s hands anyway. he isn’t about to put up much of a fight though because, honestly, what else does he have to do? “and if you’re trying to humiliate me? it’s not gonna work.” he narrows his eyes, playfully. “i play hockey, i know how to skate.” he says, removing his shoes and replacing them with the ice skates. he ties them tightly then looks back up at his friend. “what’s got you in such a good mood anyway?” he ventures to ask, flicking a piece of hair out of his eyes. “did you get high before the carnival without me?” he nearly pouts. “you better not be holding out on me.”

☆ — who : @anvya ☆ — when : november of 2017 ☆ — where : pugh hall dormitory

kian is in uncharted territory; everything is so new and unfamiliar. a part of him wants to run and never look back, but he can’t. annya keeps him grounded to the spot with some unseen magnetic force. but it’s all just so exhausting. it’s like he’s slipped into his facade, like he’s pretending, without doing so at all. the line between reality and the world he’s created is starting to blur and the cracks are starting to show. for once in his life, he’s scared of how it’s all going to end. “i’m gonna grab some more popcorn.” he says, removing his arm from behind her as he stands from the bed. he just needs a minute to breathe, to calm himself down. all they’re doing is watching a movie in her dorm, something completely normal, and he’s damn near having an existential crisis. grabbing the nearly empty bowl on the bedside table, he makes the short trek to the attached kitchenette and places it on the counter. he manages to keep his hands from shaking as he takes a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tosses it into the microwave.

when the sound fills the room, he allows his eyes to close and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. he and annya have been official for a couple of months now after initially meeting at freshman orientation, but it’s so incredibly different from anyone else that he’s dated that he wonders if he’ll even survive it. the most jarring revelation is that this isn’t a game to him for once. he actually doesn’t want to hurt her. and that’s terrifying, as sick as it sounds. when the microwave goes off, emitting the universal beep that signals the popcorn is ready, he pulls himself together and opens the door. his motions are robotic and even though he burns himself as he pours it into the bowl, he doesn’t even flinch. “this movie kinda sucks, huh?” he smiles as he rounds the corner back into the room. in truth, he hasn’t been watching it. he doesn’t even know what it’s about. “if there wasn’t a snowstorm outside, we could’ve actually did something fun.” he says.

he sets the bowl down in its previous place and leans over to give her a short kiss on the lips. “i guess i can deal though if it means spending time with you.” he states, internally cringing. he’s delivered that same line to a million other people, but it feels wrong doing the same to her. at least he means it this time.

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ moonsu. ❜

KIAN: did you send me flowers today? KIAN: i mean ik it sounds like smth you’d do KIAN: but you can never be too sure KIAN: you might have competition 😉

He has lost his first love. He’s a motherless child of a brutal and distant father. He’s outside everything and against everything, a nihilist who feels only hatred for this world.

Paul Friswold

anvya‌:

“hey now, don’t make fun of my board games,” she giggles before poking his nose. grabbing a few pieces of popcorn, she tosses one in her mouth before feeding one to kian as well. “my dad always talked about the game nights he had with his parents and siblings and how he really enjoyed them, so he kind of passed that tradition down to me and my sibling. i’m sure most teenagers would rather do anything than play boardgames with their parents, but…i dunno, call me crazy, but i actually really enjoyed it.” of course, her feelings for why she enjoyed it ran much deeper than kian would understand. all she ever wanted was for her birth parents to acknowledge her, to simply say hi or i love you, and never got that. with her adoptive parents, they gave her that and more. they made time for her and her sibling, always making sure they reminded the both of them how important they were. because of that, game nights were her favorite time of the week. 

annya hadn’t realized she got lost in her thoughts until she feels kian kiss her, this time a littler deeper before pulling away, causing the girl to pout for a moment before shaking her head, “mm, as fun as that sounds, i kind of like where we are right now. just…being close and talking…” she blushes, simply because they were pretty close physically, and it was the most physical she truly had gotten with anyone. sure, annya had her first kiss in high school, and even let wandering hands fool around but nothing ever went further than that. despite her relationship with kian still being somewhat new, she actually felt more comfortable around him than she did with anyone else before. it was scary, yet almost comforting at the same time. “that sounds wonderful,” she smiles as he talks about california. “sunshine and warm weather all the time? my flowers and plants could have such a better place to grow. does that mean you’ve never built a snowman before? because if you haven’t, we might have to change that asap.” 

it’s around this time in his other relationships that kian would tune out, only nodding here and there in all the right spots to make them think he was listening. but when it comes to annya, he actually is listening. he wants to know everything about her, every little detail, and experience things that no one else has. he’s treading dangerous waters, but he just doesn’t know how to stop; he doesn’t know if he even wants to. “yeah?” he raises a brow, chewing on the piece of popcorn she had fed him. “which was your favorite?” he asks. he has honestly never once in his life played a board game and can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to sit down with his father and do something so simple. they couldn’t even be in the same house together without wanting to rip each other’s heads off. it tugs on something buried deep within him and reminds him that nothing about his upbringing was normal. and nothing about his life ever will be.

he doesn’t feel sorry for himself though because he’s worked through all that and he’s accepted it. but that doesn’t stop the what ifs from swirling around in his head. “really? i’m kinda boring.” he smiles, watching as the blush blooms across her cheeks. he finds it incredibly endearing, but it makes him wonder. he and annya have never really discussed their past sexual experiences and they also haven’t gone very far together. his endeavors paint a long list, but he’s good at reading people and he has a feeling that hers is much, much shorter. that’s why he has to be careful. he doesn’t want to push her away. he brings his right hand up and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he’s used to playing the part of the perfect boyfriend, but he’s never had to worry about what messing it up might mean. “nope.” he confirms, popping the ‘p’. “i mean, i’ve built a sand snowman but never an actual one.” he explains. “to be honest, i’m not a huge fan of the cold. call me a pussy but i’d much—” he pauses to plant a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “rather—” he places another to the opposite side, “stay—” and finally captures her lips with his own, “right here.”

SEOJUN: very tempting SEOJUN: but you should study!!  SEOJUN: i can give you a few of my tips if you think it’ll help!! SEOJUN: like listening to classical music!! cause music w lyrics… distracting SEOJUN: and writing things over and over helps me remember things SEOJUN: do you need me to bring you coffee?? 

KIAN: ur too much of a good influence KIAN: i’m lit fallin asleep over here KIAN: ur suppose to encourage my bad behavior KIAN: good tips tho thanks ur the best 😘 KIAN: i would say yes but i have to say no KIAN: ur too distracting lmao KIAN: if you come over then nothin will get done

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ seojun. ❜