[The Last Wish] [SKZ Han JiSung x SKZ Lee MinHo]
The Sequel
‼️Breaking News! JYP Entertainment announces the passing of our beloved F/N M/N‼️
A week after M/N’s passing and a small funeral ceremony, only dedicated for close family and friends, the news was finally disclosed. Everyone was shocked and dismayed. Some even speculated that M/N had committed suicide because of the break up he had went through and Han JiSung was put under the bus.
SKZ went into hiatus immediately mainly because of two reasons. M/N was their closest friend, family member and they needed to mourn indefinitely to where their heart would take them. M/N was with them since the start and there was no way he could be forgotten in any way. To SKZ, M/N was their advisor, the parent of the group, a significant being who had always been there for them.
It was a day after the funeral ceremony when Chan had told Lee Know to meet him at the late’s M/N studio. Lee Know obeyed and went over to the studio. When he entered, Chan was sitting on the chair, staring onto the computer’s blank screen, tears streaming down his tears albeit the emotionless expression. Lee Know closed the doors behind him and went over to the leader. He was about to invite himself onto the chair next to the leader only to have the leader standing up and punching him across his face.
Lee Know stumbled to the floor at the forceful blow, immensely taken aback. Chan had his fist clenched tightly still even after the punch; his breathing was heavy as he finally let out a cry. Lee Know knew that he deserved the punch. The only possible reason could be maybe Chan knew something.
“He told me not to punch you or hurt you but, i can’t help it!” Chan yelled in frustration, falling onto the couch and he cried harder.
Lee Know gathered himself before cautiously taking a seat beside the leader. He wraps an arm over his shoulder, comforting the older. It took a while for the leader to calm down and once he did, he mutely gave the dancer a black book. The two spent the next five minutes staring from the book to each other than back to the book.
“I knew what had happened. I knew you and JiSung are in a relationship prior to their breakup. M/N told me everything. First of all, I’m sorry i punched you because i am very sure you know why and now, i happen to break one of M/N’s promise.” Chan sighed, “I can’t help it. If JiSung was here, i would punch him too, honestly.”
A light chuckle left Chan’s lips as he finally calmed down, “the day M/N told you to bring JiSung to the training room was supposed to be the day M/N propose to JiSung. M/N saw you guys kissing, that was why he did not appear in the training room. He told me that he did not realise that 6 hours pass by just like that as he locked himself in this very studio. M/N was punished with the hanahaki and he did not deserve it. For two months, M/N suffered with the disease. The doctors told us there was no hope left unless JiSung would fall back in love with him or have a surgery to get it removed with the consequence of not being able to feel anything. He chose not to do anything with JiSung anymore because he saw how happy he looked with you.”
Chan got up to take a black velvet ring box, “before he collapsed the other day, he gave me this. He said you would need it when it’s time for you to propose to JiSung.” Lee Know took the ring box, opening to see a shiny diamond ring with JiSung’s name engraved on it. “Please tell Lee Know to take care of JiSung, make him happy. That was M/N’s last words to me before he was wheeled into the emergency room. So, it’s all in your hand now. The book is for you and JiSung. I hope you could fulfil M/N’s last wish.”
********
Han JiSung found himself in the tub, filled with white petals as tears stream down his cheeks. He had been unwell ever since M/N’s passing and discovering about the Hanahaki disease he know had was just an unfortunate bonus. Han JiSung could not stop thinking of his late ex boyfriend. Everything seems to have crash down on him.
“Sungie~, are you okay in there?”
JiSung panicked upon the voice, he cleared his throat, croaking out a reply as he gathered all the petals, throwing them into the toilet bowl, “I….I’ll be out in a minute.” He felt the regret as he flushed down the system. He washed his face before going out of the washroom, meeting Lee Know. He screened the latter’s face, seeing a forming bruise on his left cheek. “Your face…. What happened?”
“Nothing much. Are you okay? It’s almost two weeks you’ve been throwing up and coughing. I think we should see the doctors.” Lee Know said.
JiSung shook his head subtly before making his way over to their bed. He could see a black book on it. Curiosity had him. JiSung picked up the book, turning to the dancer, “what is this?”
“This belonged to M/N. We should read them together.”
JiSung could feel the ache in him as he plopped down on the bed, the book on his lap. His hands trembled as tears, once again made their way down his cheeks. Lee Know sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze as he opens the book.
‘As I laid eyes on you, the world stopped. You stood there, grinning as Chan introduced me to all of you but, out of all of you guys, only you, Han JiSung caught my eyes.’
‘I joined in the practice today because I was suppose to help Chan after the practice on song writings but, he had something to do urgently. So instead, I stayed back with you in the training room and we had our first ball dance after we joked about High School Musical. It was euphoria as I felt my heart sparks into fireworks when I held your hand.’
‘I realise I started to like you. I like the way you smile, I like the way you are passionate about your career, I like the way you persevere in everything and there is so more to it that I swear I can write a 10 series book about it. I think I might just love you.’
‘You had a breakdown from the recent dance practice. It keeps getting harder and you were exhausted. You begged to be held and I held you in my arms, assuring you softly.’
‘I finally decided that I am in love with you and today just happened that I confessed to you. You accepted my confession and I cannot describe how happy I am. I love you, to eternity and beyond.’
JiSung sniffled as Lee Know gave him a cup of tea. They had decided to take a pause from reading the black book once owned by M/N. Lee Know could feel the tremble from the rapper as he sat next to him.
“Let’s stop for the night and continue tomorrow. Let’s get you to bed, you need the rest please.” Lee Know told the rapper as he placed the black book onto the nightstand, pulling JiSung to bed.
JiSung followed the latter as they tugged themselves under the covers. The rapper shifted closer to the dancer until his back met his chest. He felt Lee Know’s arm around his waist , giving him a tight comforting hug. JiSung sinks into his hold, letting a sob soft out. He felt the itch on his throat as he cries but, he knew he couldn’t cough. He shouldn’t cough because, a petal might just be out.
The next morning, JiSung forced himself out of bed, taking a warm shower and got ready. Lee Know was still fast asleep beside him and he doubt any of the member would be awake too. He grabbed his belongings and the black book on the night stand before tiptoeing out of the room. A sigh of relieve left his lips seeing no one in the living room. The rapper exited the dorm and made his way towards late M/N’s studio. He felt the tears accumulate in his eyes as he entered the studio.
“Hi love. If you’re somewhere up there watching me, I miss you, a lot.” JiSung mumbled to himself as he sat on the roller chair. He finally opened to where he last stop reading and continued.
Lee Know woke up in panic, feeling the empty space next to him. He jolted out of bed, running out the room, searching everywhere around the dorm but, failed to find none other than Han JiSung. He barged into the leader’s room, waking the latter up in the process. Lee Know became even more panic-stricken. He jumbled on his words, trying to croak out that JiSung was missing. Thankfully, The leader understood and got out of bed, waking the rest of the guys.
Lee Know ran as fast as his feet could bring just to everywhere he could think of JiSung could have gone. His mind went out of the line showing him pictures he didn’t wish to see. He was worried. Anything could happen to his lover and only god would know what. JiSung could be out there doing something deadly and even be dead by now. Lee Know stopped for a second, shaking his thoughts away. He took a deep breath in and calm himself down before making his way to that one place that happens to pop up in his mind.
The cemetery.
Lee Know thanked the world for showing him where JiSung was. He could finally breath as he walks over silently from behind to where the rapper was. The rapper sat cross legged in front of M/N’s tomb, the book still in his hand. Lee Know felt something wrong. He wasn’t facing the rapper but he just knew something was not right. As he nears the rapper, he could hear the soft sobs from the latter.
“Sungie~” Lee Know called out. JiSung jolted in shock as he turned to the voice and Lee Know gasped. JiSung had white petals all over him and a stream of blood ran down the corner of his lips.
Hanahaki
“I….I can explain.” JiSung stuttered.
“No,” Lee Know replied sternly, “there is nothing for you to explain. You’re coming with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Hyung, M/N had Hanahaki disease because of me. For two months, he suffered so let it be, let me be the one suffering this time. I deserve it.” JiSung cried.
“And then what? It’ll be my turn to suffer?” Lee Know yelled, out of the worrisome, “so one day you will pass on just like how M/N did and leave me alone? I love you JiSung and you know that. Trash around, hit me, curse at me all you want but, I’m taking you to the hospital. We’re getting the surgery.” The dancer swept JiSung off the ground and begin walking away from the tomb. JiSung trashed around like kid, hitting Lee Know wherever he could reach for. Lee Know felt his heart break hearing the cries grew softer and softer until JiSung finally gave in, lifelessly hanging on Lee Know’s shoulder.
It was pure silence as JiSung laid on the hospital bed and Lee Know sat right beside him. They had settled down in the hospital after registering for the Hanahaki removal surgery, only waiting for their turn to be called on.
“Sungie~, listen.” Lee Know sighed, “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to this but, please, I just need the best for you. I can’t afford to let you suffer with the hanahaki the way M/N did and I made a promise. I love you, Sungie but, please. This is your only chance to stay alive.”
“What’s the point of staying alive anymore? Hyung, I will lose the capability to love someone after the removal and do you really think you could make me love you?”
Without hesitation, the dancer answered, “yes and I swear to eternity and beyond that I will love you and I will make you fall for me one way or another.”
“Really?” JiSung’s eyes softened as he felt the sincere words from the dancer. Lee Know nodded and grabbed the rapper’s hand.
“M/N’s last wish is for me to take care of you and make sure you’ll be happy and I will make that happen. Han JiSung, I am going to propose to you to be my forever and always.” Lee Know opens the black velvet ring box, “this was the ring M/N wanted to give you. I assume you have read the book finish so you know what was supposedly going to happen. Even though it is not M/N who is proposing to you, I want you to think that it is. I will take care and love you for the rest of my life and M/N will be watching over us, always.” The dancer slips the ring into JiSung’s finger.
“To eternity and beyond of his last wish?” The rapper asked, tears streaming down his face.
“To eternity and beyond of his last wish.” Lee Know affirmed and hugged the other.
The sequel of Hanahaki is up, finally! Dedicated to my dearest reader. Here’s for you.
@v3n0mszn
[Jealousy - SKZ Lee Felix x Male Reader] [NSFW]
“Ah, Hyung. You have to stop it.” Yang JeongIn whined as he leaned against the older, breathing heavily.
“What? I didn’t do anything. I was simply just poking your waist.” F/N M/N, smiled innocently as if he hasn’t been tickling the soul out of the maknae.
“You’ve been tickling me and you know how ticklish I am.” I.N rolled his eyes. “Ah I’m tired. Let me sleep on you.”
It was an off day, a very rare day for SKZ and they were all in the dorm, enjoying their off day. They had invited M/N, a close friend of them and a trainee in the company. No doubt, being in a survival show together had made their bond so strong.
“I want ice-cream.” M/N suddenly said, catching the attention of the three others, ChangBin, Jisung and Felix that sat together with them in the living room.
“There’s some in the fridge, I’ll get them.” I.N stood up, walking into the kitchen.
“Thanks Innie, I love you.” M/N chimed, blowing a kiss to the maknae.
Oh, little did he know, that was a wrong thing to do. The next thing he saw was Felix tossing the controller towards him and stomp off.
“Ooohhhhh, someone’s jealous.” ChangBin sings.
“Get your boyfriend before you get your ass whooped.” Jisung added.
M/N rolled his eyes, “hey, I’m the dominant one so he’ll get his ass whipped instead. Why is jealous over his own bandmates?”
ChangBin chuckled, “you sure bout that bro? So you’re admitting that you won’t be jealous if,” he paused, getting up, “I go into his room and comfort him and maybe, fuck the soul out of him?”
Almost in a snap of a finger, M/N had ran down the hallway, barging into Felix’s room, “babe.”
Felix was sat on his bed, knees tugged under his arm as he scroll on his phone. He didn’t seem to pay attention as the older walked into his room.
“Baby, I’m sorry.”
“Hmmm,” was the only response M/N got from the younger.
“Baby, you know there’s nothing between us. I’m just bonding with the maknae.”
“Then, date him instead.” Felix scowled. He looked at older, eyes fired in jealousy, “you must’ve love him so much.” He sarcastically retorted.
“Baby, of course I do,” M/N said as he approached the younger, “I love everyone in stray kids like my own brothers but, I love you so much more. Forever and always right? Infinity and beyond?” He took a seat beside the younger, caressing his shoulder.
Felix shudders to the touch, it was his soft spot. Everything about M/N is his soft stop. From the way he talks, having a deeper voice than himself, to the way he always manage to get him weak on the knees with his soft, tendering touches.
“Do you swear with your life that you only love me in the romantic kind of way?” Felix pouts, holding out his pinky finger.
“Forever and always, remember? How did I end with the most cutest, lovable boyfriend?” M/N chuckled, intertwining his pinky finger with Felix’s.
“Forever and always.” Felix repeated. He grinned, pulling the older into a hug and kissed him.
“A little very daring aren’t we?” M/N chuckled once they broke out of the kiss.
“I’ll be the daring one today and this is your punishment for making me jealous.” Felix pushed the older onto the bed, stripping him off his shirt.
“Lee Felix, what are you doing?”
Felix smirked, “what do you think I’m doing? And call me baby. I’m not Lee Felix now.”
“B—baby.” M/N stammered shyly.
“Yes daddy?” Felix smiled innocently as he untied the knot of the older sweatpants. “Fuck, I miss Daddy so much.”
“L—-let me help you.”
“Oh no daddy. Neither are you allowed to touch yourself nor touch me. That’s your punishment. Hands above your head daddy.” Felix grabbed M/N’s hand, tying them with god knows how a tie appeared on his bed. “Fuck, I can never get use to how big you are daddy.”
M/N watched intensely as Felix stripped whilst straddling on top of him. He knew he was growing hard and it was suffocating. The younger took him in his hand, stroking him painfully slow and tenderly.
“I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” M/N let out a breathless moan.
Felix smiled, “you’re not allowed to cum daddy. Only I will tell you when to cum,” Felix engulfed the other into his mouth, bobbing his head in a steady rhythm. “I can’t wait for you to be inside me.” He poured a generous amount of lube onto the older.
“Baby,” M/N moaned, “you have to prepped yourself, it’ll hurt you.”
“No matter how many time I prepped myself, I’m never used to your size daddy. You’re so huge every time,” Felix groaned, slowly inserting himself onto the older. “A—-Ah, so big.” The younger moaned once he finally succeeded to fully sit onto the older. “You can see the bulge daddy.” He cried touching the spot where a visible bulge could be seen.
“Babyyy, you’re so hot.” M/N moaned.
“You’re so deep daddy.” Felix begins bouncing himself. The two rode their highs in a steady pace. Felix had to hold the older hips down from thrusting upwards into him. “I’m gonna cum daddy.”
“Me too baby.”
“Cum inside me.” Felix whispered as he connects their lips together. “Aa—-ah,” he screamed as he came, the older followed through, releasing inside of him. He fell on top of the older.
“That was euphoria.” M/N breathed as he hugs the younger tightly. “I should get you jealous more.”
“No,” Felix groaned, “that was suppose to be a punishment and how did you even release yourself from the tie.”
“Actually, I released myself right after you tied me. It wasn’t that tight anyway but, you were.” The older winked making a blushing mess out of the younger. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”
“No…, let’s stay this way for awhile more.”
“I’m inside of you baby.”
“I know.” Felix mumbled into his chest, “just awhile more. Let me feel you inside of me.”
M/N chuckled, tightening his hug around the younger, “I love you baby. Forever and always.”
“Forever and always.” Felix smiled.
“Hyung, the ice cr——-AHHHHHH MY EYES!” I.N who went into the room immediately ran back out, slamming the door shut. “CHANGBIN HYUNG. YOU SAID THEY WERE SLEEPING.”
“They are sleeping with each other. Not my fault you’re too innocent.”
M/N could hear ChangBin laughing at the youngest.
No one will know how LOUD i screamed his name
<< nfsw twitter links>>
━━ "I'd reach about... here"
━━ Strokes and penetration with Ken Sato
━━ What if that tub scene went differently?
━━ Coach isn't on the bus, but his daughter is.
━━ "You wanted a private interview? Well here it is."
━━ Just a quick blowjob before his game. He basically begs you.
━━ "It'd be quick, no one coming in here." He whispers in your ear.
━━ Just what he needs after a long day's work of training in baseball in the day and being Ultraman at the night
━━ "Is this why you wanted an interview of the records? Kenji Sato gets a handjob from a reporter and can't stop whimpering. "
━━ This is how Ken Sato looks at you after trying to deny him the only thing that can cheer him up after losing a match.
━━ He had a good match today, won the season all thanks to the countless support and encouragement from his bare. He's gotta repay her somehow.
━━ When Emmi was around, it was Emmi, a game, the press, Emmi again, training, coach shouting at him, Emmi again, being Ultraman, Emmi. He barely got any time to rest, but whenever he did, he didn't use it to sleep but rather for stress relief
━━━ Kenji always spent so much time on the online meetings that the coach had him join. Hours of coach's rambling, and he couldn't even doze off because he would always call on someone like it was a damn history class. You decide to help Kenji and satisfy his boredom a little bit.
rezitio©, as promised my children. enjoy & I'd live feedback and sorry for going away for so long. Startedbthis yesterday lol.
When fear, dread, or guilt gets sickening—literally—your character is consumed with a gut-clenching feeling that something is very, very wrong. Here's how to write that emotion using more than the classic "bile rose to the back of their throat".
This isn’t just about discomfort. It’s about a complete rebellion happening inside their body.
Their stomach twists like a knot that keeps pulling tighter
A cold sweat beads on their neck, their palms, their spine
Their insides feel sludgy, like everything they’ve eaten is suddenly unwelcome
They double over, not from pain, but because sitting still feels impossible
Vomiting isn’t just a stomach reaction—it’s the whole body.
Their mouth goes dry, and then too wet
Their jaw tightens, trying to contain it
A sudden heat blooms in their chest and face, overwhelming
The back of their throat burns—not bile, but the threat of it
Breathing becomes a conscious effort: in, out, shallow, sharp
Nausea doesn’t always need a physical cause. Tie it to emotion for more impact:
Fear: The kind that’s silent and wide-eyed. They’re frozen, too sick to speak.
Guilt: Their hands are cold, but their face is flushed. Every memory plays like a film reel behind their eyes.
Shock: Something just snapped inside. Their body registered it before their brain did.
Don’t just describe the nausea—show them reacting to it.
They press a fist to their mouth, pretending it’s a cough
Their knees weaken, and they lean on a wall, pretending it’s just fatigue
They excuse themselves quietly, then collapse in a bathroom stall
They swallow, again and again, like that’ll keep everything down
Even if they don’t actually throw up, the aftermath sticks.
A sour taste that won’t leave their mouth.
A pulsing headache
A body that feels hollowed out, shaky, untrustworthy
The shame of nearly losing control in front of someone else
A character feeling like vomiting is vulnerable. It's real. It’s raw. It means they’re overwhelmed in a way they can’t hide. And that makes them relatable. You don’t need melodrama—you need truth. Capture that moment where the world spins, and they don’t know if it’s panic or flu or fear, but all they want is to get out of their own body for a second.
Don't just write the bile. Write the breakdown.
Part One
‼️Trigger Warning(s) : Bullied, Abuse, Rape, Depression, Suicidal‼️
“Are you still hanged up over it?” Seo ChangBin questions the red headed as he tried to secretly glance over his roommate who sat at the corner of the classroom. “If you’re gonna appear every single time we end a period, you’re labelling yourself as a creep. It’s been a week.”
It has been a week.
A week since that night where Bang Chan couldn’t forget the tiny little tint of hurt flashing across M/N’s eyes. He didn’t go after M/N when he left the restaurant but, as he sat back down, a sense of guilt ambushed him, stabbing his heart that the pain was almost physical. Why? Why did he feel that way? This shouldn’t be hurting him, this should only hurt M/N so why was he hurt? M/N didn’t come back that night and Bang Chan barely caught any sleep either. It was early in the morning the next day when Bang Chan heard the door of the dorm open and M/N came stumbling into the room, tipsy, stench in cigarettes and alcohol. Bang Chan got up to sit on his bed, his eyes observing every move of the latter who seems to ignore him indefinitely.
“M/N……I…. I can explain.” Bang Chan stammered.
M/N turned to him, his eyes glassy and unfocused, “It is what it is. You don’t need to waste your breath explaining and I don’t need to waste my time listening.”
That was all M/N said before dropping onto his bed, burying himself under his blanket. Bang Chan swore something in him cracked. Ever since then, neither of them shared any word or look even, at least not M/N. Bang Chan still stole glances over his roommate whilst M/N simply pretended as if Bang Chan was nothing but, a thin of air.
“Has M/N been different lately in class?”
ChangBin thought for a moment before shaking his head, “not really. He is still a quiet and reserved kid like he always was since forever.”
“T…That’s good i guess.”
ChangBin rolled his eyes, “seriously? Why are you so concerned about M/N?”
“I…I… I’m not concern about him, i….i just wanna see him suffer?” It came out as a question but for sure, ChangBin didn’t believe the latter.
ChangBin sighed and patted Bang Chan’s right shoulder, “I won’t judge if you end up caring about how he had felt you know. Besides, you did have to go through a lot just for a bet.”
At his words, Bang Chan winced. He did had to go through a lot to get to know M/N. He had to learn and study M/N deeply, taking notes of his liking and dislikes, his little pet peeves, etc. When M/N confessed to Bang Chan, there was no doubt that Bang Chan felt something, Bang Chan could feel the sincerity of M/N’s heart. Bang Chan had to do something to reconcile with M/N, or at least, get M/N to just look at him even for a minute and so the gifts came in. Bang Chan had left gifts with notes on M/N’s study table.
‘M/N, I bought you the cake you liked from the bakery nearby.’
‘M/N, I bought the puff you craved for before.’
‘M/N, i got this flowers cause it reminded me of you.’
‘M/N, look at this grumpy cat plush. It looks just like you.’
‘M/N, this was cute so i got it for you.’
‘M/N, the novel was going for sale at the bookstore so i thought of you.’
Bang Chan felt the ache in his heart looking at the untouched gifts on M/N’s table. It didn’t seem like M/N even care to look at them. This had been even worse than when Bang Chan had know him for the first time. The walls that Bang Chan had torn down previously was rebuilt with even more concrete security and to be frank, Bang Chan was losing hope.
Bang Chan dramatically plops onto the lunch table across ChangBin and whined, “he doesn’t even touch it, i doubt he even looked at it. I had to throw all the cake(s) and pastries that turned bad. Binnie, give me ideas please. I have to do something. I need to apologise to him.”
“You’re finally admitting that you don’t want to see him suffer?” ChangBin smirked. Bang Chan sighed in defeat and nodded to his words. “I mean, if the gifts aren’t working, perhaps do something more brazen? Like, just grab him and make him look at you and talk it out.”
“It could work, maybe?”
“Oh, by the way, have you heard about it?”
“About what?”
“It could be a rumour but proof has been circulating that M/N use to be a porn star. He was involved in a child pornography.” ChangBin said and Bang Chan gasped, “it’s sickening knowing that people are actually into it.”
“Please, tell me you’re joking.”
“I told you it could be a rumour. I haven’t seen it for myself.”
Bang Chan abruptly stood from his chair, taking his belongings before he rushes out of the cafeteria. Reality smacked him hard on the face. Just when he thought he knew M/N that well, there was still some untold secrets kept by him. Could this be the reason why M/N declared Bang Chan was his will to live? Could this be why M/N confessed that Bang Chan had saved him from himself? Could M/N have gone through severe depression because if the rumour had been true, it could tear down one’s soul? Now, Bang Chan felt even worse than before. The red headed find himself sprinting to his dorm room, barging into it. There, M/N sat on his bed with his phone in his hand.
“You,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline from sprinting.
He locked the door to their dorm room, stomping towards M/N and he stood right in front of the latter who couldn’t care less to even look at him once.
“You…” Bang Chan breathed, “did you know that there are rumours going on that you were involve in a child pornography?” Bang Chan could see how M/N’s frail begin to tremble. “Is it true?” This time, M/N’s head dropped as if he was a child ashamed of being scolded. “M/N? Is it true that you were involved in a child pornography?”
“And so what?” Bang Chan breath hitched as soon as M/N spoke. It had been awhile since he last heard the latter talk and his voice still never failed to give shivers down his spine.
Bang Chan honestly didn’t expect himself to feel anger arise in him at M/N’s response, “so what?! You should’ve told me! You should’ve explain to me the reason why you’ve been telling me that i saved your life! I could’ve understood you better and—,”
“AND WHAT?!” It happened in a blink of an eye. M/N stood up, pushing Bang Chan hard that he had fell onto his bed, “SO YOU CAN TELL CHANGBIN AND YOUR GROUPS OF FRIENDS THAT I AM THE CHILD IN THAT PORNOGRAPHY? SO YOU CAN CONFIRM THE RUMOURS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING AROUND?! SO YOU CAN JOIN THE SENIORS WHO ARE INTENDING TO RAPE ME?” Raged was seen across M/N as he towers over Bang Chan, spit flying from his lips. In that moment of anger he'd said everything, whatever was most hurtful, whatever would give him the opportunity to relieve himself, “IF I HAD TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING ADOPTED BY CRIMINALS? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING SOLD TO PEOPLE, TO HUMANS FOR THEIR PLEASURE? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA AND SUFFOCATION I FELT? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME IF I SAID THAT I HAD TO KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM RAPED ME AT ONCE? COULD YOU BE HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU BRING BACK HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU STOP ME FROM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. NIGHT?”
Bang Chan felt his heart throbbed immensely at M/N’s words. The pain and despair he had made M/N felt was nothing compared to what M/N had been through.
“I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU CHRISTOPHER BANG! YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL IN DISGUISE. FINALLY, I COULD BREATHE! I FOUND A WILL TO LIVE! I WAS ECSTATIC GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS HOPING THAT ONE DAY WHEN WE GRADUATE, GET A JOB, GET A HOUSE TOGETHER, I WOULD MARRY YOU. I WOULD MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE IN THIS WORLD! BUT NO! EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING BET! EVERYTHING CAME CRUSHING DOWN ONCE AGAIN AND I WANTED TO DIE IF IT WASN’T FOR HYUNJIN HYUNG’S LAST WISH! I WANTED TO JUST JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE THE NIGHT I—,”
M/N stopped himself abruptly, his breath ragged from his outburst, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a second to breathe, rethinking about that words he had retorted. M/N felt guilty. He shouldn’t have burst out to Bang Chan out of anger. He should’ve just ignored him like he had been for the past few weeks. He shouldn’t have made the impression that Bang Chan had made M/N think about suicide. No one was at fault but, him. M/N was at fault to even exist in the first place.
“M/N,” Bang Chan’s chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in irregular gasps. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and hot against his skin. His throat tightened, a lump forming that made it difficult to speak. In that moment, M/N felt his heart shatter into pieces. In all his years of living, someone was crying for him. No one should need to cry for him, especially Bang Chan. He didn’t know what he should do and so, M/N left the dorm room, leaving the sobbing one.
“Here, I got you water.” ChangBin sat on the Bang Chan’s bed as the latter hide himself under the covers. Bang Chan finally crawled out and took the water.
“Why are you here?” His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying for days but, in actually fact, it had only been a couple of hours since M/N left him.
“M/N came running to find me. He said that I should come here and take care of you.”
“He did?”
ChangBin nodded, handing over a warm towel to Bang Chan, “i assume you guys had a fight? None of your faces look any better. You look like a puffer fish and so did M/N just now. I’m surprise you guys can see the world with those swollen eyes.”
“I fucked up ChangBin. I fucked up so bad that i just wanna go back to the time i met M/N for the first time.” Bang Chan sniffled.
“That bad huh?”
“I love M/N, i really do. Even if it wasn’t a bet, I would’ve still fallen for M/N.”
“Finally.” ChangBin smiled, “took you so long to admit it. I apologise to M/N earlier on and explain to him the real reason behind the bet. If isn’t for our seniors who threaten us to make our college life miserable on the bet, we wouldn’t have done it. Surprisingly, M/N asked for the seniors names and when i told him, he was silent.”
“What do you mean?”
“He said those seniors had been after him for a while now. He mentioned something about them knowing the truth from their government parents. I didn’t understand him though, do you?”
“Wait, did you said government parents?”
“Yes.” ChangBin affirmed, “Tae-il sunbaenim’s parents are apart of the government ministers.”
“If they are government minister, it means they technically can know each and every person’s background don’t they?”
“Technically yes,”
“Oh no.”
“Woah, where are you going?” ChangBin was taken aback when Bang Chan practically fly out of his bed, grabbing his phone and putting on his shoes. “Can you at least explain something to me?”
“I need to find M/N. I need to talk to him. I need to apologise. I need,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, “I need M/N.”
“Oh, good luck.”
Bang Chan wasn’t gonna waste anytime because if his institution was right, he needs to find M/N fast. Upon knowing another truth, Bang Chan assume that Tae-il and his gang of friends knew about M/N’s past thus they might have been the ones with the intention to rape M/N all this while. This time, Bang Chan was determine to be save M/N. He needs to. He spammed M/N’s phone with calls and messages but to no avail, there was no response. He searched through the campus asking around if anyone had seen M/N but everyone looked at him in disgust instead. That was until Bang Chan came across a group of seniors in the hallway, he didn’t approach them but, he overheard their conversation that put him sick to the stomach.
“Damn was M/N good.”
“I would do him again.”
“Tae-il is making a fortune.”
“Fucking him was definitely better than a woman.”
“Though the location could be better. The gym storeroom smelled horrible.”
BINGO.
Bang Chan sprinted as fast as a wind to the gym storeroom. He was met with groups of people hanging outside the storeroom. Bang Chan ignored the calls from the people that had deemed to be his ‘friends’ as he stomped into the storeroom. His blood turns cold the moment he was met with what was happening. M/N was tied up in ropes and Bang Chan could see the friction burns underneath it. He was naked, blindfolded, body covered in bruises and blood. As if M/N was a doll, three people were doing the deed, raping him simultaneously on the front and back. Tae-il sat by them, on the chair, cigarettes in his hand smirking proudly as if he had done the best thing in the world.
“FUCK OFF!”
Rage was all he saw. He couldn’t think ahead as he lounge towards them. RED. That was all Bang Chan could see. He didn’t know how or what had happened but he felt someone pulling him away from Tae-il and he came into realisation. Tae-il lay on the floor a couple of feet away from M/N, beaten almost to death. He could hear ChangBin telling him that everything was okay now. No, it wasn’t. M/N was still blindfolded, unaware of what was happening, trembling and curling up on the ground. Bang Chan realised he couldn’t save M/N. He failed to save him.
“M/N?” Bang Chan’s hand trembled as he reached out to M/N. He released the ropes, covering M/N’s fragile frail with the blanket Lee Know had handed over. “M/N, its me. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Bang Chan removed the blindfold and M/N’s e/c orbs looked at him but, his heart shattered. M/N wasn’t crying neither did he show the intention to cry. His eyes wasn’t even watery to begin with. All M/N did was stare into Bang Chan’s teary eyes, lifelessly and Bang Chan broke down as he embraced M/N tightly.
What had he done?
••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Author’s Note: Apologies for the late update but, here it is! I might just add one last part to this! A happy ending? Or shall I wreck my own heart with a sad ending?
[Here Always] - [SKZ Kim SeungMin X M!Reader]
If one could describe M/N relationship with none other than the love of his life, Kim SeungMin, one would say they are not even in love or even in one. That was the view of the world but, not to M/N and SeungMin.
F/N M/N and Kim SeungMin were friends since they were in their diapers. SeungMin’s mom and M/N’s mother would meet up every single day being the closest of friends. As they grew up, no doubt, they became close.
An awkward day being alone An unknown whisper The night I wandered around calling you When I close my eyes Warm comfort blows into me like a cold season Slowly into me
It was that one night when M/N realises that he was in love with SeungMin. For the first time in forever, M/N and SeungMin had spent the day apart from each other.
‘How’s the night going?’
M/N sighed as he sent a text to SeungMin whilst he sat on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.
He had abandoned on his supposedly date for the night after spending 15 minutes together in a restaurant. They had ordered their food and drinks, only awaiting for it to be served. His date was good looking, benevolent and wonderful and he was sure that if everything went well, he might just get laid tonight. That was until his eyes played tricks on him. He had imagined it was Kim SeungMin sitting in front of him, smiling and laughing at the random jokes they heard from across the table. He had wished that it was Kim SeungMin who had grabbed his hand tenderly and stared into his eyes.
“I…..I’m so sorry.” M/N pulled his hand away from the other before, shifting his gaze everywhere but, not to him.
“It’s okay.” His date smiled, “you’re in love with someone else aren’t you?”
“Is it obvious?”
His date smiled and nodded, “very. Now, go. Get him before it’s too late. I’m just going to assume that you both went on separate dates to get someone and then now is the time where you realise you are in love with each other.”
M/N grinned so widely that his cheeks hurts a lot. He thanked the date profusely and gave him a hug for making him realise. M/N didn’t waste anymore time as he rushed out of the restaurant, stopping by the counter to pay for the food and rode on his bike back home, his shared apartment with SeungMin.
When he reached home, he realise that SeungMin was on his own date, which means, the probability of him falling for his date was high and he couldn’t just barge and ruin the date if SeungMin was happy. M/N begins overthinking about all the possibilities that emerge wildly in his head.
What if Kim SeungMin didn’t feel the same way he did?
What if Kim SeungMin hated him for loving him?
What if ———
‘Can you get me?’
The special ringtone of SeungMin’s alerted M/N out of his train of thoughts. M/N jolted up from the couch, grabbing his things before rushing out the door.
“Hey.” M/N whispered, seeing as SeungMin sat on the bench by the roadside.
SeungMin looked up with teary eyes, holding his hands up like a child wanting to be carried. M/N smiled and got down from his bike, taking the other into his embrace.
“I take the date didn’t go so well?” M/N asked.
“No, it went wonderful. He was nice and kind and handsome.” SeungMin sniffled as he hid his face into M/N’s neck. “But I was the one who isn’t okay.”
“Shall we go home, cuddles and snacks on the couch and you can tell me all about it?”
SeungMin broke out of the hug and threw pillows to M/N’s chest. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”
M/N sweat dropped as he looks around to see the passer-by giving him a look of disappointment as if he had done something wrong.
“Minnie, I’m sorry that you hate me but, everyone here is literally thinking that I did something wrong to you and I don’t know if I did so, what’s wrong Minnie?” M/N whispered grabbing SeungMin’s hand to stop the other from hitting him.
“I like you okay? Fuck, I think I love you even and today date went wrong because my fucking date made me realise that I am in love with you! And I hate you for making me lo—-,”
M/N cut the latter off, linking their lips together. SeungMin melted in the kiss as he felt himself calming down instantly.
“You k——,”
“I like you okay? Fuck, I love you. And just like you, tonight made me realise that I am in love with you that I am not able to spend any more nights without you.” M/N said as he plants a chaste kiss to SeungMin’s forehead.
“I hate you.” SeungMin sniffled and leans his head to M/N’s chest.
“I love you more.” M/N grinned. “Here always.”
“Here always.” SeungMin repeated.
I'm still here always
Each and every stop
I miss being by your side
Always there by your side
Here always
If there's a name that I'm going to call you
Should it be a "shining sea" or "my world"?
When I close my eyes
It lingers in my ears
Your faint waves come into my dreams
And sprеad out fully
[Hanahaki] [SKZ Han JiSung x M!Reader]
[‼️Trigger Warning‼️ Character Death]
Since the day you broke up, officially with none other than the love of your life, you once believed, Han JiSung. You were the greatest couple of the century in the K-pop industry. Everyone knew the both of you. JiSung from Stray Kids, the rising popular boy group and you, as a rising soloist in Korea.
Everyone knew about your relationship ever since the both of you came out about dating each other and that was four years ago, even before SKZ debuted. You were deeply in love with JiSung and the world could see it. The way you look at him, the way you talk to him, the way you smiled to him, the world was envious. JiSung happened to be the most luckiest person on earth to have you as his boyfriend.
It was four years into the relationship, the both of you had debuted and successfully reached at the peak of your career. You decided it was time, time to make Han JiSung, to be the love of your life to eternity and beyond. You planned to propose to the rapper. Everything was set up, you had booked a candle light dinner at JiSung’s favourite restaurant, you had asked for blessing from his parents, you had carved his name on the engagement ring personally and where else could anything go wrong?
What seems to be a perfect life for you turns out to be a disaster. You grinned, taking light steps towards the training room, where you have told Lee Know to help you lure JiSung in. The training room was the first place you have ever set eyes on JiSung and it held a very significant meaning to both of you. The training room was your first everything. Your first touch, your first hug, your first confession, your first kiss.
“Sungie~, we have to tell M/N the truth, this is wrong. We can’t keep it a secret anymore.” You heard the voice as you were nearing to the entrance.
“I can’t Hyung. I don’t want to hurt M/N. We can keep it a secret, no one needs to know.” You heard your boyfriend said to the dancer. You peeled through the parted doors, regretting instantly as you felt your heart shatters into pieces so thin that it was impossible to fix. JiSung was kissing Lee Know.
You felt the tears accumulate in your eyes, as you clutch the fabric of your shirt, almost ripping it. You bit your lips to choke back the threatening sobs and you ran. You ran as fast as your feet could bring you, going into your studio, locking the doors and you broke down. You felt your chest tightened as you gasped for air, something was not right. Your throat itches as if something was in it. You violently coughed, bent over on your knees as tears clouded your vision. A couple of petals had left your lips, drenched in blood right beneath you. Shit, you mentally cursed.
You didn’t realise how long the time had passed. You were still cooped inside your studio, staring helplessly to the flower petals that you had gathered in your hands. You knew the Hanahaki disease existed but, you weren’t expecting yourself to have it. It was the knock to your door that snapped you out of your train of thoughts. You quickly threw the petals inside the bin, wiped off the blood on the floor and tried to make yourself look decent.
“Who is it?”
“Honey? It’s me.” You choke back a sob, taking in a deep breath before unlocking the doors to it. “Honey? Lee Know Hyung told me that you were suppose to meet me at the training room but, it’s been almost 6 hours, what have you be—,”
There was a moment of silence as you stared at the shorter rapper in front of you. Your heart screamed in agony, your fist curled up, ready to throw a punch to him but, you didn’t.
“You look awful,” JiSung took a step into the room, leading your frail into the light. He realise how awfully pale you were and you felt cold, almost too cold for a human. “Did you catch a virus? Honey?”
“Han JiSung, let’s break up.” You managed to croak out despite the dryness of your throat. JiSung paused, staring at you.
“Okay.” He finally said after what seems to be minutes of silence, “but, I hope we can still at least be friends.” JiSung threw himself to you, burying his face into your chest. You didn’t hug him back, neither did you do anything. You just stood there, eyes watching the rapper. “Thank you for the four years.” And he left.
You felt a few tears rolling down your cheek and you fell to your knees. You feel the need to cry, you feel the need to scream, you feel the need to trash around but, you stayed where you were, numbed as ever.
**********
You forced a smile as you watch JiSung and Lee Know cling onto each other on stage. You were the host of the show, congratulating SKZ for winning an award for the best performance. You watched as Chris said his thank you speech before passing the mic over to your ex. JiSung cleared his throat, giving a small smile and nod to you.
“Hi Stays! Thank you for always being here for us and thank you for the votes! Thank you for existing in our life! Before we do our encore, there is something that I would like to confess. M/N and I are no longer together. Thank you for all of you who has supported us on our four year relationship but, M/N and I decided that we are not meant to be together but, don’t worry, he and I are still mutual friends.” JiSung announced.
You felt the familiar pain in you grew as mixed of responses were given by the audience. You see JiSung walking over to you, holding out his arms and you knew it was to show the world that you guys were still mutual friends. You forced another grin, hugging JiSung for a split second before you signal for the music to be turned on. SKZ continued with their encore stage and you, ran backstage, almost broke a door down to the washroom.
Your gut was knotted tighter than a hangman’s noose round the neck of a 300-pound wrestler. You released your content into the toilet bowl. The vomit pooled in it, as you heaved on all fours. Your stomach clenched in pain. More and more petals, just like every other day pooled in the bowl. You wanted nothing more but, death.
*******
Han JiSung was conflicted. Unable to determine what he was actually feeling. There was no immediate reaction to when M/N had asked him for a break up. He wasn’t completely sad, he felt more of relieve because as if god could read his mind, at least, M/N was the one who asked for a break up and he didn’t need to brutally hurt the soloist by confessing that he felt out of love, or that was what he assumed.
It was a month prior to their break up when JiSung realise he was getting attracted by his own group mate, Lee Know. Lee Know had always been kind and caring and sweet hearted when it came to him and it made JiSung realise that he was falling for the dancer. Not that his current boyfriend, now Ex, M/N, was bad or awful. Instead, M/N had been with him for 4 years and he had to admit, the relationship had thought him so much in life. He loved, no, he love M/N still but, maybe he love Lee Know more.
Even though he was confuse about the sudden break up, JiSung decided not to make a big fuss out of it and mutually ends things with M/N. It was not like they were going to cut ties with each other, at least they still kept in touch, or that was what JiSung hoped. After the day he ended their 4 years relationship, he could feel the distant M/N tried to make. M/N barely hangs out in their dorm, M/N actually lives there, now sharing a room with Chris after they announced their break up and JiSung shared a room with Lee Know.
JiSung would catch the soloist in odd morning hours, in the bathroom, sat on the floor, asleep, multiple times and when JiSung asked the latter, he would answer with the same sentence.
“I got too tired so I took a nap here.”
JiSung noticed that within a span of two months, M/N looked like a ghost. He could see how much M/N had lost weight, the hollow cheeks, darken eye bags, the lethargic movement of the latter. He couldn’t help but worry. Every time JiSung tried to approached his ex, M/N would dodge him like a bullet and reasoned that he needed to rush to his studio to complete some work. JiSung frowned, feeling a slight ache in his heart and he ranted his thoughts to his current lover.
It was 4 days later, when JiSung got back from the gym with Lee Know and ChangBin trailing behind him. The dorm was in a mess, there was blood on the floor, flower petals drenched in it making the rapper frightened at the sight. ChangBin had called their leader to ask on what had happened. JiSung felt his heart pound against his chest, unable to calm down even with Lee Know holding him in his arms, something was not right. ChangBin gasped through the phone, looking towards the couple. JiSung could see ChangBin’s hand trembling as he held his phone.
“M/N is in the hospital.”
JiSung sobbed uncontrollably as Lee Know held him. Everyone was outside the Ward, not allowed to enter as per the doctor’s instructions. They were only been briefed that M/N had been terminally ill for the last two months and he was now, on his deathbed. It took a while for all of them to process everything and JiSung was the first to break down indefinitely. His cries echoed down the hallway, he fell on his knees, sobbing M/N’s name.
“Hey, Sungie~,” the tender gentle voice caught JiSung’s attention, “M/N called for you, alone.” Lee Know said.
JiSung didn’t even spare a second to calm down as he barged into the Ward to see his ex, looking so fragile, laying on the bed. There was a heart monitor connected to the soloist, beeping a little too slow for his liking and a oxygen mask on the latter. JiSung, sat on the chair, grabbing M/N’s cold hands and he burst into another wave of tears.
“Hey love, I thought the only time you would cry is when your parents are no longer here. Why are you crying like a baby?” M/N managed to chuckle and teased the rapper in short, gasping breath.
“Why…..why didn’t you tell me that you were ill?”
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you or anyone. Look at you, a crybaby. You looked like a squirrel who had his nuts fall to the ground on a sad winter.”
“M/N…..stop messing around! How are you so carefree?! Wh y didn’t you tell me?! I am your lover, even if I was your lover, I should’ve known!” JiSung sobbed.
“Like how, I should’ve known that you love Lee Know Hyung?”
The question caught JiSung off guard as he looked at M/N smiling face.
“It’s okay. I know. It doesn’t matter anymore. Only your happiness matters the most. As long as Lee Know Hyung can take care of you to the eternity and beyond, I don’t see any wrong in leaving you in his hands.” M/N felt a tear roll down his cheeks as he gently caress JiSung’s knuckles with hiss thumb.
“B…but how?”
“I rather you not know. Anyways, I am really feeling sleepy right now and exhausted. I thought you should be the last person I would see before I fall asleep,” the heart monitor decreased as every second go by.
“Han JiSung, thank you for making me the happiest man on earth. Han JiSung, thank you for being the love of my life. Han JiSung, thank you for being you. Han JiSung, thank you for existing. Han JiSung, thank you for existing.”
JiSung cried hysterically as the heart monitor stopped, M/N’s grip were no longer tight on his hand. He felt his heart clenched and he begin to feel overwhelmed. JiSung fell off the chair, gasping for air as tears rolled down his cheeks. JiSung felt his chest tightened as a series of cough escapes his lips. Something was bound to come out of his throat and as he heaves forward, a white petal flew out.
“Hanahaki”
It was that moment when he realise that M/N was the one he loved most.
And I'm just supposed to be okay?
Bonus
[Curse of Bad Lucks] - [SKZ!Felix X M!Reader]
"You were a wonderful experience."
"You were everything."
M/N could only smile bitterly as he turn on his heel, walking away from none other than, Lee YongBok, Felix, who is now, officially, his once upon a time the love of his life. It was finally done. He had finally ended it. It hurts. He could literally feel everything shattering apart. M/N sucked in a deep breath, painfully, as he sat on the bench, looking towards the well lit panaromic view of Jeju.
Felix was just a wonderful experience.
Meanwhile, Felix fell on his knees as he watches M/N walk away from him. M/N had ended things with him and he knew he was in disbelieve. 18 years, 18 fucking years that they had been together, gone, just like that. They were married for god sake and they have a child. A 4 years old little boy that they raised together. How could M/N do this to him? Where had it gone wrong?
M/N was everything.
"See that barista? He is hot." Lee YongBok whispered to his close friend, Hwang Hyunjin.
Hwang Hyunjin peeks over his shoulder seeing the (H/C) tall lad. He looked young and Felix was right, he is hot, "he is good looking."
"I'm going to hit on him." Felix made his way to the counter, stopping in front of the (H/C). "Hi!"
"Hi," Felix could feel his breath hitched when M/N looked up and his (E/C) looked into his. M/N is gorgeous, "i...let...let me get my colleague. My korean is still not good."
"Oh no, it's fine. I'm australian so, you can speak english to me."
M/N flashes him a gentle smile, "thank you. How can i help you for the day?"
Felix fished out his phone, "i want to bring you out on a date so, if i could, can i get your number?" He giggles when M/N's eyes widened, evidently taken aback by the sudden confession. "You are really cute and i could get myself a boyfriend anytime soon. Life doesn't seem to get any younger, you know."
"I...Wait...you..." M/N jumbled on his words, "why?"
"What?"
"Why me?" M/N abruptly stopped in the midst of cleaning the counter and walked in front of Felix. It was Felix turn to be taken aback at how different their height difference was. M/N was two feet taller than him. "Why me? I...I'm just a barista. I have sugar in my pockets and coffee stains on my socks. I am cursed with bad lucks. I am poor. I am stupid and worthless and i am very sure that i'll ruin your life. Like i said i'm cursed with bad lucks. I'm cursed so, if you are an angel in disguise, please, run for your life."
"You are so dark and twisty." Felix said, "What if i'm a devil in disguise? Do i still need to run for my life too?"
M/N chuckled, "usually, the conversation stops there and i have no replies for what you've just asked."
"Well since you dont know what would a devil in disguise do, why not give it a try first?" Felix convinced. "I'll bring you out on dates, we can get to know each other. It doesnt have to be expensive or anything. I'm not so high maintenance and it's very easy to make me happy. I appreciate the small little things. You can get me a cup of coffee and i will grin for the entire day, i will....."
"Okay." M/N cut him off, giving him a gentle smile, "My name is F/N M/N and can i make you a cup of coffee? It's on me."
"Okay M/N," Felix said, "My name is Lee YongBok, Felix and i would like to accept your coffee offer."
"So, want to tell me how you ended up all soaked and smelly?" Felix grimaced as he turns the water on to fill the tub.
"There was a cat." M/N simply replied as he stripped off his clothes, entering the tub and submerged himself into the water, "a black cat and i should have known better that black cats are almost like a combo to my cursed life."
Felix giggled as he massages M/N's hair with the lavender scented shampoo, "let me guess. You probably saved the cat from a drain and you slipped and fall into it."
"Has this hapened before?"
"Twice." Felix replied. "but, hey. On the bright side, you aren't hurt this time. You came home the last two times with broken arms and legs. This time, you're just, smelly."
M/N couldnt help but, grin so widely that his cheeks start to hurt, "i guess my dark and twisty life is coming to a turn with my very own sunshine by my side. I love you."
"I love you so much more." Felix smiles and pecks M/N on the lips.
"I DID IT! WE DID IT!" M/N couldn't contain his excitement as he barged into the house. Felix who was folding their clothes on the couch was taken aback when M/N lounge himself onto him, knocking them off the couch and down to the floor. "I can finally open my own cafe with my very own saving and it's just a block away from here!"
"OMG! LOVE! I am so proud of you!" Felix exclaimed. They were both on the floor, Felix on top of the younger who hugged him tightly as they laid on the ground. "I'm so fucking proud of you!"
Prior to where they were, 7 years ago, M/N had told his boyfriend his life plans and Felix supported him unconditionally. It had been rough for both of them. M/N was almost working 18 hours a day to earn the money he needed and Felix had to focus on the upcoming of Stray Kids. The amount they spent together could be easily counted by fingers. Within a month, they could only meet for a day where M/N finally took the day off and so did Felix. Despite that, they made it through each day for the entire 7 years, promising themselves that once they reached their goal, they will live a life that they desired.
"I'm so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lee YongBok." M/N buried his face into Felix's neck.
Felix smiles and embrace the other tightly, "We did it love. I got something to tell you too. I will be leaving the music industry."
"Wait, what?! You love music, you love your fans, you love STRAY KIDS. Please, you don't have to do it for me." M/N jolted up.
"I do. I do love all of them but, i love you the most. I'm not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. It's time for me to slow down. I'm not getting any younger now and, i want to retire. I want to be the boyfriend who will sit in the cafe and stare at his boyfriend all day long and make sure no one is flirting with him," Felix chuckled, "I will be like those typical managers who pretend to be busy on their phones but in reality I'm just watching as the world goes by."
"Marry me, Lee Yongbok." M/N confessed. "I...I dont have a ring right now but, will you marry me? I will make you the happiest man alive. I will bring breakfast to our bed every morning. I will bring you out on dates. I will be the richest some day soon that we can stay home all day with each other in our cozy apartment. I will give you the..."
M/N was cut off when Felix slammed their lips together and as if the time froze, they kissed passionately not caring the world existed.
"Yes, Yes. I will marry you."
"Hi love."
"Sunshine, you're here!" M/N grinned as he puts down the cloth he used to wipe the counter, heading towards Felix with an open arm. Felix jumped into his husband's arms and greeted him with a kiss. "How did your day go?"
"Wonderful." Felix pecks his cheeks and they settled down at the corner of the cafe, reserved specially just for them, "I met Lee Know Hyung and Jisung Hyung. Their baby have grown so big. He's a big boy now. He can put his own pants and put his plate in the sink."
"Awww, that's great." M/N cooed. "So, while we are at the topic, i was wondering if you would want to have a baby with me."
Felix giggled, "oh love. I wish i could bear your children but, we aren't exactly living in a ABO universe."
"I mean with the amount of me breeding into you, we could've get 10 kids now." M/N winked.
"EWWWWW BOSS! The cafe isn't exactly empty!" yelled an employee of his.
"You're suppose to be working, not eavedropping." M/N laughed when he sees Felix red face. "Sunshine, i really mean what i said. We could get a surrogate or we coul--"
"Yes!" Felix answered, "Let's have a kid together."
"I love you." M/N kissed his husband.
"I love you so much more."
"Sunshine?" M/N whispered as he pokes his head into their bedroom.
"Hi love. Come in." Felix beckoned, "I just got him down."
M/N tiptoes across the room and slide under the covers beside Felix, "I am so sorry i had to ditch you halfway."
"Hey, don't be sorry love." Felix shifted as little as possible to face his husband, "we weren't expecting the cafe to catch on fire. How's the employees?"
"No one was injured, thankfully and they are doing an investigation on the cause of fire." M/N explained as he tugs his head onto his husband's chest, cuddling closely to inhale the oh-so-familiar calming scent of his husband.
"Thank goodness. How about you, love? Are you okay?"
M/N sighed inaudibly, "I....I'm scared. Sunshine, i'm terrified."
"Hey, you're okay. You're okay." Felix assures planting kisses to the crown of M/N's head as he caresses his hair tenderly. "You're okay love."
"It's just," M/N took a deep breath, "it's as if the curse of bad lucks are latching on me again and i'm so terrified that it'll hurt you and Woojin. I'll never forgive myself if any of you are hurt."
"Hey, don't be so dark and twisty." Felix chuckled, "i know love. I get where you are coming from but, let's not jump into conclusion okay? Maybe it was just a coincidence."
"I...I don't know." Felix could feel tears drenching his shirt.
"You're okay baby. You're okay." Felix shushes as he embrace his husband tighter. "We're here for you. Woojin and i will always be by your side no matter what curse you have, okay?"
"I love you." M/N sniffed.
"I love you so much more."
"F/N M/N. Which bed is he in?" Felix could feel the anxiety crept into him as he barge through the doors of the emergency department. Woojin who was cradled in his arms could sense his parent anxiousness and he squirms uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry and you are?" The nurse asked.
"F/N YongBok. I'm his husband. Please, tell me where he is." Felix pleaded.
"Oh, he's in bed 10 sir. Right this way." The nurse showed the way.
Felix couldn't help the tears streaming down his cheek as he rushed over to the said bed.
"Mama cry no." Little Woojin frowned, his lips jutting out. "Mama no cry."
"I'm sorry baby." Felix kissed his forehead. He knew he shouldn't be crying but, he couldn't help it. He needed to make sure M/N is fine first.
"Sunshine?"
It wasn't a lie when people said that legs can turn into jelly. If it wasn't the doctor who attended to M/N that catch him, he would've landed on the floor, probably hitting his head at the corner of the hospital bed.
"I'm okay sunshine. I'm okay. I promise." M/N repeated as he took Felix and Woojin into his arms. "I'm okay sunshine. I'm okay baby."
"Papa ouchie."
M/N chuckled as he took Woojin in his arms, "yes, papa ouchie. Small ouchie."
"Papa. Mama cry papa ouchie." Little Woojin pouted.
"I'm sorry. Papa no ouchie, mama no cry okay?" M/N assured as he slides his hand around Felix's waist. "Sunshine? I promise you, i'm okay."
"Seventh time. It's the seventh time you had to come to the ER this year. You end up with so many injuries all the time. You said you were just going to get cereal and i end up getting a call from the ER that you were hit with a baseball bat? I swear, i am going to lock you in our house and we will never leave the house ever again." Felix cried as he leaned onto his husband's shoulder, "i'm locking you up in the house."
"Okay sunshine. I'll be happily locked with you and Woojin."
"I love you."
"I love you so much more."
"Have fun Mama! Papa!" Woojin waved at his parents before running back into his Uncle Lee Know and Uncle Jisung's hotel room to play with their son.
"Thank you for watching him." Felix said to the couple in front of them.
The two family were on their vacation in Jeju Island and since M/N and Felix had watched over MinSung yesterday whilst the parents were on their date, it was M/N and Felix's turn today.
"Oh, don't sweat about it. You guys have fun! Now, go. The night is still young." Jisung kicked them out.
M/N and Felix spent the rest of the day living their life like they were teenagers all over again. They went to the theme park followed by an ice cream stall and then a dinner reservation. They were just living their dream life fully.
"Sunshine?" M/N softly calls out as they walk through the quiet street of Jeju, hands intertwined, on their way back to their hotel.
"Yes, love?"
"If one day i am not around, can you promise me some things?"
Felix stopped on his track, "is that a way of you telling me that you are getting old?"
M/N chuckled, "maybe. I am being serious though. Can you please promise me some things?" Felix was not going to lie but, an uncomfortable churn in his stomach begin to arise.
"Yes love. Anything."
M/N took both of his hands in his reminding Felix of the time when they took their vow the exact same way right now or the night when M/N had proposed to him. M/N always held his hands when he needed to talk about important things taht could mean life or death.
"Sunshine, when i am gone, i want you to promise me that you will get over me within 7 days. I want you to promise me that you will forget about me thoroughly. I want you to move on with your life. I want you to inherit all my inheritance. I want you to raise Woojin with the strength of your sunshine heart. I want you to stay strong. I want you to make sure you and Woojin eat proper meals, always celebrate birthdays and occasions no matter how busy you are. I want Woojin to inherit my business. Woojin will grow up wonderfully. I want you to promise me to love yourself unconditionally. Please, promise me that." M/N took Felix's hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. "I love you so much. I love you so fucking much."
"You.....you are scaring me. Is everything okay?"
"Sunshine, please. Promise me that." M/N pleaded.
"No, i can't suddenly promise you as if you will be gone in another 5 minutes. I can't just lie to myself to make a promise that i will get over you in 7 days. I spend half my life loving you and never regretted it ever in my life. You can't expect me to just forget you just like that! We are married and we have a kid!" Felix took a deep breath, calming himself down, "love, tell me, what's wrong?"
"I am divorcing you. I am done with you. The lawyers will send in the papers in a week and tonight will be last time you see me."
"But, why?"
Felix heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling. It is a shard in his guts that stabbed him over and over again. It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in that quiet second, it chokes the breath from his body and short circuitshis mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.
"You were a wonderful experience."
"You were everything."
Ring....Ring....Ring
"I did everything you told me to." M/N spat into the answered phone.
"You did great honey."
"and as you promised, don't even lay a finger on them. if you hurt my sunshine and my child, I WILL KILL YOU, Hwang Hyunjin." M/N growled.
He could hear Hyunjin's sinister laugh in echoing through the phone, "i promised honey. I'm sending someone over to get you now. I'll see you in a couple of hours."
The call ended and M/N slams his phone to the ground, breaking it into pieces. AFterall, his life was still a curse of bad lucks. M/N couldn't help but cried his heart out, screaming in despair.