Jisung X Male Reader - Blog Posts

[Hanahaki] [SKZ Han JiSung x M!Reader]

[‼️Trigger Warning‼️ Character Death]

Since the day you broke up, officially with none other than the love of your life, you once believed, Han JiSung. You were the greatest couple of the century in the K-pop industry. Everyone knew the both of you. JiSung from Stray Kids, the rising popular boy group and you, as a rising soloist in Korea.

Everyone knew about your relationship ever since the both of you came out about dating each other and that was four years ago, even before SKZ debuted. You were deeply in love with JiSung and the world could see it. The way you look at him, the way you talk to him, the way you smiled to him, the world was envious. JiSung happened to be the most luckiest person on earth to have you as his boyfriend.

It was four years into the relationship, the both of you had debuted and successfully reached at the peak of your career. You decided it was time, time to make Han JiSung, to be the love of your life to eternity and beyond. You planned to propose to the rapper. Everything was set up, you had booked a candle light dinner at JiSung’s favourite restaurant, you had asked for blessing from his parents, you had carved his name on the engagement ring personally and where else could anything go wrong?

What seems to be a perfect life for you turns out to be a disaster. You grinned, taking light steps towards the training room, where you have told Lee Know to help you lure JiSung in. The training room was the first place you have ever set eyes on JiSung and it held a very significant meaning to both of you. The training room was your first everything. Your first touch, your first hug, your first confession, your first kiss.

“Sungie~, we have to tell M/N the truth, this is wrong. We can’t keep it a secret anymore.” You heard the voice as you were nearing to the entrance.

“I can’t Hyung. I don’t want to hurt M/N. We can keep it a secret, no one needs to know.” You heard your boyfriend said to the dancer. You peeled through the parted doors, regretting instantly as you felt your heart shatters into pieces so thin that it was impossible to fix. JiSung was kissing Lee Know.

You felt the tears accumulate in your eyes, as you clutch the fabric of your shirt, almost ripping it. You bit your lips to choke back the threatening sobs and you ran. You ran as fast as your feet could bring you, going into your studio, locking the doors and you broke down. You felt your chest tightened as you gasped for air, something was not right. Your throat itches as if something was in it. You violently coughed, bent over on your knees as tears clouded your vision. A couple of petals had left your lips, drenched in blood right beneath you. Shit, you mentally cursed.

You didn’t realise how long the time had passed. You were still cooped inside your studio, staring helplessly to the flower petals that you had gathered in your hands. You knew the Hanahaki disease existed but, you weren’t expecting yourself to have it. It was the knock to your door that snapped you out of your train of thoughts. You quickly threw the petals inside the bin, wiped off the blood on the floor and tried to make yourself look decent.

“Who is it?”

“Honey? It’s me.” You choke back a sob, taking in a deep breath before unlocking the doors to it. “Honey? Lee Know Hyung told me that you were suppose to meet me at the training room but, it’s been almost 6 hours, what have you be—,”

There was a moment of silence as you stared at the shorter rapper in front of you. Your heart screamed in agony, your fist curled up, ready to throw a punch to him but, you didn’t.

“You look awful,” JiSung took a step into the room, leading your frail into the light. He realise how awfully pale you were and you felt cold, almost too cold for a human. “Did you catch a virus? Honey?”

“Han JiSung, let’s break up.” You managed to croak out despite the dryness of your throat. JiSung paused, staring at you.

“Okay.” He finally said after what seems to be minutes of silence, “but, I hope we can still at least be friends.” JiSung threw himself to you, burying his face into your chest. You didn’t hug him back, neither did you do anything. You just stood there, eyes watching the rapper. “Thank you for the four years.” And he left.

You felt a few tears rolling down your cheek and you fell to your knees. You feel the need to cry, you feel the need to scream, you feel the need to trash around but, you stayed where you were, numbed as ever.

**********

You forced a smile as you watch JiSung and Lee Know cling onto each other on stage. You were the host of the show, congratulating SKZ for winning an award for the best performance. You watched as Chris said his thank you speech before passing the mic over to your ex. JiSung cleared his throat, giving a small smile and nod to you.

“Hi Stays! Thank you for always being here for us and thank you for the votes! Thank you for existing in our life! Before we do our encore, there is something that I would like to confess. M/N and I are no longer together. Thank you for all of you who has supported us on our four year relationship but, M/N and I decided that we are not meant to be together but, don’t worry, he and I are still mutual friends.” JiSung announced.

You felt the familiar pain in you grew as mixed of responses were given by the audience. You see JiSung walking over to you, holding out his arms and you knew it was to show the world that you guys were still mutual friends. You forced another grin, hugging JiSung for a split second before you signal for the music to be turned on. SKZ continued with their encore stage and you, ran backstage, almost broke a door down to the washroom.

Your gut was knotted tighter than a hangman’s noose round the neck of a 300-pound wrestler. You released your content into the toilet bowl. The vomit pooled in it, as you heaved on all fours. Your stomach clenched in pain. More and more petals, just like every other day pooled in the bowl. You wanted nothing more but, death.

*******

Han JiSung was conflicted. Unable to determine what he was actually feeling. There was no immediate reaction to when M/N had asked him for a break up. He wasn’t completely sad, he felt more of relieve because as if god could read his mind, at least, M/N was the one who asked for a break up and he didn’t need to brutally hurt the soloist by confessing that he felt out of love, or that was what he assumed.

It was a month prior to their break up when JiSung realise he was getting attracted by his own group mate, Lee Know. Lee Know had always been kind and caring and sweet hearted when it came to him and it made JiSung realise that he was falling for the dancer. Not that his current boyfriend, now Ex, M/N, was bad or awful. Instead, M/N had been with him for 4 years and he had to admit, the relationship had thought him so much in life. He loved, no, he love M/N still but, maybe he love Lee Know more.

Even though he was confuse about the sudden break up, JiSung decided not to make a big fuss out of it and mutually ends things with M/N. It was not like they were going to cut ties with each other, at least they still kept in touch, or that was what JiSung hoped. After the day he ended their 4 years relationship, he could feel the distant M/N tried to make. M/N barely hangs out in their dorm, M/N actually lives there, now sharing a room with Chris after they announced their break up and JiSung shared a room with Lee Know.

JiSung would catch the soloist in odd morning hours, in the bathroom, sat on the floor, asleep, multiple times and when JiSung asked the latter, he would answer with the same sentence.

“I got too tired so I took a nap here.”

JiSung noticed that within a span of two months, M/N looked like a ghost. He could see how much M/N had lost weight, the hollow cheeks, darken eye bags, the lethargic movement of the latter. He couldn’t help but worry. Every time JiSung tried to approached his ex, M/N would dodge him like a bullet and reasoned that he needed to rush to his studio to complete some work. JiSung frowned, feeling a slight ache in his heart and he ranted his thoughts to his current lover.

It was 4 days later, when JiSung got back from the gym with Lee Know and ChangBin trailing behind him. The dorm was in a mess, there was blood on the floor, flower petals drenched in it making the rapper frightened at the sight. ChangBin had called their leader to ask on what had happened. JiSung felt his heart pound against his chest, unable to calm down even with Lee Know holding him in his arms, something was not right. ChangBin gasped through the phone, looking towards the couple. JiSung could see ChangBin’s hand trembling as he held his phone.

“M/N is in the hospital.”

JiSung sobbed uncontrollably as Lee Know held him. Everyone was outside the Ward, not allowed to enter as per the doctor’s instructions. They were only been briefed that M/N had been terminally ill for the last two months and he was now, on his deathbed. It took a while for all of them to process everything and JiSung was the first to break down indefinitely. His cries echoed down the hallway, he fell on his knees, sobbing M/N’s name.

“Hey, Sungie~,” the tender gentle voice caught JiSung’s attention, “M/N called for you, alone.” Lee Know said.

JiSung didn’t even spare a second to calm down as he barged into the Ward to see his ex, looking so fragile, laying on the bed. There was a heart monitor connected to the soloist, beeping a little too slow for his liking and a oxygen mask on the latter. JiSung, sat on the chair, grabbing M/N’s cold hands and he burst into another wave of tears.

“Hey love, I thought the only time you would cry is when your parents are no longer here. Why are you crying like a baby?” M/N managed to chuckle and teased the rapper in short, gasping breath.

“Why…..why didn’t you tell me that you were ill?”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you or anyone. Look at you, a crybaby. You looked like a squirrel who had his nuts fall to the ground on a sad winter.”

“M/N…..stop messing around! How are you so carefree?! Wh y didn’t you tell me?! I am your lover, even if I was your lover, I should’ve known!” JiSung sobbed.

“Like how, I should’ve known that you love Lee Know Hyung?”

The question caught JiSung off guard as he looked at M/N smiling face.

“It’s okay. I know. It doesn’t matter anymore. Only your happiness matters the most. As long as Lee Know Hyung can take care of you to the eternity and beyond, I don’t see any wrong in leaving you in his hands.” M/N felt a tear roll down his cheeks as he gently caress JiSung’s knuckles with hiss thumb.

“B…but how?”

“I rather you not know. Anyways, I am really feeling sleepy right now and exhausted. I thought you should be the last person I would see before I fall asleep,” the heart monitor decreased as every second go by.

“Han JiSung, thank you for making me the happiest man on earth. Han JiSung, thank you for being the love of my life. Han JiSung, thank you for being you. Han JiSung, thank you for existing. Han JiSung, thank you for existing.”

JiSung cried hysterically as the heart monitor stopped, M/N’s grip were no longer tight on his hand. He felt his heart clenched and he begin to feel overwhelmed. JiSung fell off the chair, gasping for air as tears rolled down his cheeks. JiSung felt his chest tightened as a series of cough escapes his lips. Something was bound to come out of his throat and as he heaves forward, a white petal flew out.

“Hanahaki”

It was that moment when he realise that M/N was the one he loved most.