[Promises; Part Two] - [Jujutsu Kaisen! Nanami Kento X M!Reader]

[It is what it is; Part Two] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

Part One

‼️Trigger Warning(s) : Bullied, Abuse, Rape, Depression, Suicidal‼️

“Are you still hanged up over it?” Seo ChangBin questions the red headed as he tried to secretly glance over his roommate who sat at the corner of the classroom. “If you’re gonna appear every single time we end a period, you’re labelling yourself as a creep. It’s been a week.”

It has been a week.

A week since that night where Bang Chan couldn’t forget the tiny little tint of hurt flashing across M/N’s eyes. He didn’t go after M/N when he left the restaurant but, as he sat back down, a sense of guilt ambushed him, stabbing his heart that the pain was almost physical. Why? Why did he feel that way? This shouldn’t be hurting him, this should only hurt M/N so why was he hurt? M/N didn’t come back that night and Bang Chan barely caught any sleep either. It was early in the morning the next day when Bang Chan heard the door of the dorm open and M/N came stumbling into the room, tipsy, stench in cigarettes and alcohol. Bang Chan got up to sit on his bed, his eyes observing every move of the latter who seems to ignore him indefinitely.

“M/N……I…. I can explain.” Bang Chan stammered.

M/N turned to him, his eyes glassy and unfocused, “It is what it is. You don’t need to waste your breath explaining and I don’t need to waste my time listening.”

That was all M/N said before dropping onto his bed, burying himself under his blanket. Bang Chan swore something in him cracked. Ever since then, neither of them shared any word or look even, at least not M/N. Bang Chan still stole glances over his roommate whilst M/N simply pretended as if Bang Chan was nothing but, a thin of air.

“Has M/N been different lately in class?”

ChangBin thought for a moment before shaking his head, “not really. He is still a quiet and reserved kid like he always was since forever.”

“T…That’s good i guess.”

ChangBin rolled his eyes, “seriously? Why are you so concerned about M/N?”

“I…I… I’m not concern about him, i….i just wanna see him suffer?” It came out as a question but for sure, ChangBin didn’t believe the latter.

ChangBin sighed and patted Bang Chan’s right shoulder, “I won’t judge if you end up caring about how he had felt you know. Besides, you did have to go through a lot just for a bet.”

At his words, Bang Chan winced. He did had to go through a lot to get to know M/N. He had to learn and study M/N deeply, taking notes of his liking and dislikes, his little pet peeves, etc. When M/N confessed to Bang Chan, there was no doubt that Bang Chan felt something, Bang Chan could feel the sincerity of M/N’s heart. Bang Chan had to do something to reconcile with M/N, or at least, get M/N to just look at him even for a minute and so the gifts came in. Bang Chan had left gifts with notes on M/N’s study table.

‘M/N, I bought you the cake you liked from the bakery nearby.’

‘M/N, I bought the puff you craved for before.’

‘M/N, i got this flowers cause it reminded me of you.’

‘M/N, look at this grumpy cat plush. It looks just like you.’

‘M/N, this was cute so i got it for you.’

‘M/N, the novel was going for sale at the bookstore so i thought of you.’

Bang Chan felt the ache in his heart looking at the untouched gifts on M/N’s table. It didn’t seem like M/N even care to look at them. This had been even worse than when Bang Chan had know him for the first time. The walls that Bang Chan had torn down previously was rebuilt with even more concrete security and to be frank, Bang Chan was losing hope.

Bang Chan dramatically plops onto the lunch table across ChangBin and whined, “he doesn’t even touch it, i doubt he even looked at it. I had to throw all the cake(s) and pastries that turned bad. Binnie, give me ideas please. I have to do something. I need to apologise to him.”

“You’re finally admitting that you don’t want to see him suffer?” ChangBin smirked. Bang Chan sighed in defeat and nodded to his words. “I mean, if the gifts aren’t working, perhaps do something more brazen? Like, just grab him and make him look at you and talk it out.”

“It could work, maybe?”

“Oh, by the way, have you heard about it?”

“About what?”

“It could be a rumour but proof has been circulating that M/N use to be a porn star. He was involved in a child pornography.” ChangBin said and Bang Chan gasped, “it’s sickening knowing that people are actually into it.”

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“I told you it could be a rumour. I haven’t seen it for myself.”

Bang Chan abruptly stood from his chair, taking his belongings before he rushes out of the cafeteria. Reality smacked him hard on the face. Just when he thought he knew M/N that well, there was still some untold secrets kept by him. Could this be the reason why M/N declared Bang Chan was his will to live? Could this be why M/N confessed that Bang Chan had saved him from himself? Could M/N have gone through severe depression because if the rumour had been true, it could tear down one’s soul? Now, Bang Chan felt even worse than before. The red headed find himself sprinting to his dorm room, barging into it. There, M/N sat on his bed with his phone in his hand.

“You,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline from sprinting.

He locked the door to their dorm room, stomping towards M/N and he stood right in front of the latter who couldn’t care less to even look at him once.

“You…” Bang Chan breathed, “did you know that there are rumours going on that you were involve in a child pornography?” Bang Chan could see how M/N’s frail begin to tremble. “Is it true?” This time, M/N’s head dropped as if he was a child ashamed of being scolded. “M/N? Is it true that you were involved in a child pornography?”

“And so what?” Bang Chan breath hitched as soon as M/N spoke. It had been awhile since he last heard the latter talk and his voice still never failed to give shivers down his spine.

Bang Chan honestly didn’t expect himself to feel anger arise in him at M/N’s response, “so what?! You should’ve told me! You should’ve explain to me the reason why you’ve been telling me that i saved your life! I could’ve understood you better and—,”

“AND WHAT?!” It happened in a blink of an eye. M/N stood up, pushing Bang Chan hard that he had fell onto his bed, “SO YOU CAN TELL CHANGBIN AND YOUR GROUPS OF FRIENDS THAT I AM THE CHILD IN THAT PORNOGRAPHY? SO YOU CAN CONFIRM THE RUMOURS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING AROUND?! SO YOU CAN JOIN THE SENIORS WHO ARE INTENDING TO RAPE ME?” Raged was seen across M/N as he towers over Bang Chan, spit flying from his lips. In that moment of anger he'd said everything, whatever was most hurtful, whatever would give him the opportunity to relieve himself, “IF I HAD TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING ADOPTED BY CRIMINALS? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING SOLD TO PEOPLE, TO HUMANS FOR THEIR PLEASURE? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA AND SUFFOCATION I FELT? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME IF I SAID THAT I HAD TO KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM RAPED ME AT ONCE? COULD YOU BE HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU BRING BACK HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU STOP ME FROM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. NIGHT?”

Bang Chan felt his heart throbbed immensely at M/N’s words. The pain and despair he had made M/N felt was nothing compared to what M/N had been through.

“I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU CHRISTOPHER BANG! YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL IN DISGUISE. FINALLY, I COULD BREATHE! I FOUND A WILL TO LIVE! I WAS ECSTATIC GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS HOPING THAT ONE DAY WHEN WE GRADUATE, GET A JOB, GET A HOUSE TOGETHER, I WOULD MARRY YOU. I WOULD MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE IN THIS WORLD! BUT NO! EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING BET! EVERYTHING CAME CRUSHING DOWN ONCE AGAIN AND I WANTED TO DIE IF IT WASN’T FOR HYUNJIN HYUNG’S LAST WISH! I WANTED TO JUST JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE THE NIGHT I—,”

M/N stopped himself abruptly, his breath ragged from his outburst, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a second to breathe, rethinking about that words he had retorted. M/N felt guilty. He shouldn’t have burst out to Bang Chan out of anger. He should’ve just ignored him like he had been for the past few weeks. He shouldn’t have made the impression that Bang Chan had made M/N think about suicide. No one was at fault but, him. M/N was at fault to even exist in the first place.

“M/N,” Bang Chan’s chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in irregular gasps. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and hot against his skin. His throat tightened, a lump forming that made it difficult to speak. In that moment, M/N felt his heart shatter into pieces. In all his years of living, someone was crying for him. No one should need to cry for him, especially Bang Chan. He didn’t know what he should do and so, M/N left the dorm room, leaving the sobbing one.

“Here, I got you water.” ChangBin sat on the Bang Chan’s bed as the latter hide himself under the covers. Bang Chan finally crawled out and took the water.

“Why are you here?” His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying for days but, in actually fact, it had only been a couple of hours since M/N left him.

“M/N came running to find me. He said that I should come here and take care of you.”

“He did?”

ChangBin nodded, handing over a warm towel to Bang Chan, “i assume you guys had a fight? None of your faces look any better. You look like a puffer fish and so did M/N just now. I’m surprise you guys can see the world with those swollen eyes.”

“I fucked up ChangBin. I fucked up so bad that i just wanna go back to the time i met M/N for the first time.” Bang Chan sniffled.

“That bad huh?”

“I love M/N, i really do. Even if it wasn’t a bet, I would’ve still fallen for M/N.”

“Finally.” ChangBin smiled, “took you so long to admit it. I apologise to M/N earlier on and explain to him the real reason behind the bet. If isn’t for our seniors who threaten us to make our college life miserable on the bet, we wouldn’t have done it. Surprisingly, M/N asked for the seniors names and when i told him, he was silent.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said those seniors had been after him for a while now. He mentioned something about them knowing the truth from their government parents. I didn’t understand him though, do you?”

“Wait, did you said government parents?”

“Yes.” ChangBin affirmed, “Tae-il sunbaenim’s parents are apart of the government ministers.”

“If they are government minister, it means they technically can know each and every person’s background don’t they?”

“Technically yes,”

“Oh no.”

“Woah, where are you going?” ChangBin was taken aback when Bang Chan practically fly out of his bed, grabbing his phone and putting on his shoes. “Can you at least explain something to me?”

“I need to find M/N. I need to talk to him. I need to apologise. I need,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, “I need M/N.”

“Oh, good luck.”

Bang Chan wasn’t gonna waste anytime because if his institution was right, he needs to find M/N fast. Upon knowing another truth, Bang Chan assume that Tae-il and his gang of friends knew about M/N’s past thus they might have been the ones with the intention to rape M/N all this while. This time, Bang Chan was determine to be save M/N. He needs to. He spammed M/N’s phone with calls and messages but to no avail, there was no response. He searched through the campus asking around if anyone had seen M/N but everyone looked at him in disgust instead. That was until Bang Chan came across a group of seniors in the hallway, he didn’t approach them but, he overheard their conversation that put him sick to the stomach.

“Damn was M/N good.”

“I would do him again.”

“Tae-il is making a fortune.”

“Fucking him was definitely better than a woman.”

“Though the location could be better. The gym storeroom smelled horrible.”

BINGO.

Bang Chan sprinted as fast as a wind to the gym storeroom. He was met with groups of people hanging outside the storeroom. Bang Chan ignored the calls from the people that had deemed to be his ‘friends’ as he stomped into the storeroom. His blood turns cold the moment he was met with what was happening. M/N was tied up in ropes and Bang Chan could see the friction burns underneath it. He was naked, blindfolded, body covered in bruises and blood. As if M/N was a doll, three people were doing the deed, raping him simultaneously on the front and back. Tae-il sat by them, on the chair, cigarettes in his hand smirking proudly as if he had done the best thing in the world.

“FUCK OFF!”

Rage was all he saw. He couldn’t think ahead as he lounge towards them. RED. That was all Bang Chan could see. He didn’t know how or what had happened but he felt someone pulling him away from Tae-il and he came into realisation. Tae-il lay on the floor a couple of feet away from M/N, beaten almost to death. He could hear ChangBin telling him that everything was okay now. No, it wasn’t. M/N was still blindfolded, unaware of what was happening, trembling and curling up on the ground. Bang Chan realised he couldn’t save M/N. He failed to save him.

“M/N?” Bang Chan’s hand trembled as he reached out to M/N. He released the ropes, covering M/N’s fragile frail with the blanket Lee Know had handed over. “M/N, its me. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Bang Chan removed the blindfold and M/N’s e/c orbs looked at him but, his heart shattered. M/N wasn’t crying neither did he show the intention to cry. His eyes wasn’t even watery to begin with. All M/N did was stare into Bang Chan’s teary eyes, lifelessly and Bang Chan broke down as he embraced M/N tightly.

What had he done?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: Apologies for the late update but, here it is! I might just add one last part to this! A happy ending? Or shall I wreck my own heart with a sad ending?

The fact that I am intrigued with this ship is just, WOW

pop quiz

this is my gift to nekomancer for @the-kakashi-lounge-blog holiday exchange!!

ao3

wc: 3.2k

summary: kabuto wakes up in the hospital and kakashi is there for him. kakashi x kabuto established relationship as adults

tw: hospital, blood mention, mention of injuries, memory loss

Everything hurt. Every inch, every fiber of his being, hurt. His eyes stung as his vision transitioned from fuzzy black to vague red, only to be cursed by blinding white. He groaned, moving to lay his arm over his face to protect against this undetermined threat. Then he attempted to open his eyes again to find the results exactly the same as the previous test. Had he not changed the variable?

He felt out his right arm, noting each chakra node as he sensed down from his shoulder. The stretch intensified the ache, then allowed some relief after a moment. Gradually, he wiggled his fingers. He was pleased to feel them follow direction. He continued with a wrist rotation. Satisfied with that range of movement, he advanced to checking the bend of his elbow. It appeared to flex correctly. Excellent. Finally, the shoulder. Thankfully, it responded, and he was able to block the light from streaming into his eyes as he began the arduous process of opening them.

After two or three minutes of this, he was successfully able to take in visual cues. Ceiling tiles. So he was inside. Fluorescent lighting. Inside a government-funded building. Primarily white, with metal accents. Hospital. Delightful.

In the corner of the room, someone snored.

He took a moment to take in as much of the room as he could before moving, to give himself as much knowledge as possible before possibly alerting this person to his consciousness. There was no way to know how safe he was with this person, and they likely had the home advantage of entering the space while awake. Once he had memorized the layout of the room and found three weapons within reach, he began the process of sitting up to get a look at his companion.

The man in the corner looked rough. His clothes were torn and dirty, stained with what was likely blood that had now dried and was flaking off. There was a layer of dried sweat clinging against his skin as tightly as the fabric that covered his lower face. His hair had a clump of mud in it and laid in every direction except down. His forehead protector was pulled down over one eye, a Leaf village insignia carved into the metal. Fairly standard shinobi post-mission aesthetic, honestly. The only thing that stood out was the well-worn orange novel held loosely in his hand. The back cover had the required content warning symbol embossed in red, marking it a pornographic book. Given the angle it currently laid at, as well as the shinobi’s chin drifting slowly toward his chest, it was clear that he had fallen asleep while reading it.

Who on earth falls asleep reading porn in a hospital room?

Someone in the hallway passed by the open door, stopping for a double-take when they noticed him sitting up in bed. “Dr. Haruno! He’s—”

Before they could finish their thought, a flash of pink darted around their frame and approached him with one hand glowing a muted pistachio green. The doctor hovered her hand over his body, running along its entire surface with a concentration on his chest and head. This went on in silence for nearly thirty seconds before she took a step back.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, glasses.” She snapped, then reached for the bedside table and handed him a bundle of wire and glass. “Suppose I can’t call you glasses ‘till you’ve got these on, though.”

He analyzed them in his hands, realizing the pieces were folded together. He kept his movements smooth to cover the uncertainty as he unfolded the contraption. Muscle memory took over and he flipped them around, bringing them up to his face and slotting them over his ears. Suddenly the pink blur became a person, and the snoring man became significantly more exhausted.

She reached for a clipboard and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

He took a moment, considered the dull ache registered by each nerve ending, and replied. “My third chakra node in my left foot is considerably damaged. Two of the nodes near my ribs are also in bad shape, though the rib itself may be broken and that could explain it. My head is throbbing, my mouth is dry, and I’m experiencing sensitivity to light. What am I looking at, chakra exhaustion?”

She nodded, making quick notes with her tongue tucked beneath her teeth. “Yeah, you presented with acute chakra exhaustion, though not a severe case. We were much more concerned with the abdominal bleeding, caused by several broken ribs. One of them is still on the mend. There’s only so much healing a body can take at once, you know how it is. A couple more sessions and that’ll be fixed.” Finished scribbling, she slapped the pen against the clipboard. “Your biggest concern was the head injury, though. That’s what we’ve been focused on. It’s great to see you awake.”

He shifted, struggling to push himself into a better sitting position. “How long have I been out?”

She leaned forward to help him into a more comfortable spot. “Four days. Well, three and some change.”

“And has he,” he nodded toward the sleeping nin, “been here the whole time?”

Something in the woman’s expression softened and her eyes filled with pain and something else he didn’t understand. “He has, yeah. He refused to leave your side, even if someone else promised to take over for him.” She cleared her throat, the mist over her eyes fading, replaced by a glimmer. “He insisted on being here when you woke up, and now he’s sleeping. Even without leaving the room, he’s still late to everything important,” she chuckled.

“He seems very…dedicated,” he murmured.

She grinned. “Yeah, he’s dedicated to two things: you and that stupid book.” She stood up, moving silently as she approached the man in the mask. Delicately, she stretched her hand out, reaching for the novel. As soon as her fingertips grazed the off-white pages, the book slammed shut and she jumped back.

“Not on your life, Sakura,” the man yawned, sliding the book into a pocket of his vest. After shaking off the rest he clearly needed, he turned toward the bed and froze. “Kabuto?”

He felt a tug of familiarity and nodded, throat suddenly dry. “It’s me.”

The shinobi was by him in a second, arms wrapped gingerly around his torso, squeezing as tight as they dared with a broken rib, and one hand lost itself in his hair. The man’s face was buried in his neck, and he smelled comforting. Kabuto found himself returning the hug, gripping onto the fabric of the military-issued vest. After a tense moment, the two separated.

“How are you? Are you okay? I didn’t—I couldn’t—I’m so sorry, Kabuto, I—”

Sakura pushed his chair directly next to his bed and guided the man into it. “Kakashi, deep breaths, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t make me admit you for a panic attack.”

Kakashi. Why was that so significant?

Kakashi cleared his throat, shaking his head and settling back into the chair. “I know, I just—” he took his hand, entwining his left fingers around Kabuto’s right to clasp them together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening to you. I knew the mission was too dangerous for you to go alone, but you wouldn’t let me go with you.”

“I don’t know why I would refuse your help,” Kabuto said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across Kakashi’s hand. “You seem fairly capable.”

Sakura nodded. “He is when he keeps his nose out of that book.”

His gaze shifted down, watching his thumb reassure the shinobi next to him as if he had done it before. The soldier’s hands were calloused, but not dry or rough, and his fingernails were trimmed short. He wore a plain band, black, embossed with a diamond grid pattern, on his ring finger. It glinted dully, as if he had been wearing it for some time now.

Kakashi noticed his interest in their hands together and brought his other hand to wrap around Kabuto’s. He squeezed his hand, imparting some kind of meaning, then reached over to the bedside table where the glasses had been, and picked up something small and silver. Delicately, he took Kabuto’s left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and it sported a matching grid pattern and similar level of wear.

Ah.

“I was starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Kabuto bit back a bitterness that was rising in his throat. “You may have to find out.”

He gripped his hand tighter, shaking his head. “You’re going to be fine, Kabu. Sakura and the medical team have been working on you every day. You’re gonna come home any day now, right?”

Sakura, this time, did not nod. She made eye contact with Kabuto and reached out for her clipboard, making a note. Raising a flashlight, she stepped toward the bed.

“Go ahead and follow this light with just your eyes, please…” She moved it in lines, up and down and side to side. “Excellent. Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

Kabuto opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came. Sakura’s forehead crinkled, and she continued. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what year it is?”

His response was the same.

“What about who the Hokage is?”

Kakashi looked back and forth at them in confusion. “Kabuto, what’s going on? Just answer her, it’s simple.”

Kabuto cleared his throat. “I know that the first Hokage was Hashirama Senju. I know that my favorite color is purple. I know that your name is Sakura Haruno.”

“And my name?”

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “I believe she called you Kakashi.”

The hand holding his grew cold, but the grip did not relinquish. “Kabuto. What’s my last name?”

They sat together in a painful, tense silence that grew worse with every passing second. Finally, Kabuto answered, “The same as mine, I think. But I don’t remember what that is.”

Before Kakashi could reply, Sakura jumped in. “Sometimes that happens with head injuries. It just takes a moment to remember silly things, but a lot of the time the memory comes back within an hour of waking up.”

Kakashi became stiff, his shoulders rigid and his face unreadable. “You said ‘a lot of the time’. Give me a number.”

Sakura flipped through pages on the clipboard, beginning an elaborately vague answer. Kakashi grabbed the thin piece of plastic, holding on to the metal clip at the top as if clinging to his own life. “Sakura. That’s my husband in this bed. We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. One more time—give me a number.”

She looked over Kabuto, then locked eyes with Kakashi, transitioning from friend to doctor. “Forty percent of patients. Thirty percent see memory restoration in the first twenty-four hours. Twenty within two weeks.”

Kabuto looked up, the light glinting off his glasses. “And the other ten percent?”

She swallowed and hardened her stance. “The remaining ten percent are unlikely to recall lost memories at all. And that’s further complicated in patients with a prior history of amnesia.”

The look on Kakashi’s face made it clear that he apparently had a history of amnesia.

“But we’re not concerned about that right now, okay? You’ve only been awake half an hour. Give it time, don’t stress out about it, and we’ll see what happens.” Sakura turned toward the door. “I’ll be back this afternoon for another round of healing on that rib. We’ll assess your memory then if you’d like. Sound good?”

Kabuto nodded, feeling strangely distant. “Sounds great, Dr. Haruno.”

With that, she left the room and took the only thing preventing sadness and awkward silence from setting in with her. Kabuto fidgeted with his blanket, noting the scratchy texture and trying to decide if it was nice, or familiar, or if other blankets felt different. He was pretty sure they could be softer. The one in his home was softer. And grey, he thought.

“Shuriken print?”

Kakashi looked up, startled by the intrusion to the silence. “Sorry?”

Kabuto raised a fistful of fabric up. “The blanket in the house. It’s grey with shuriken all over it, right?”

Kakashi’s face lit up, and he leaned forward. “It is, yeah! You chose the sheets; they have little beakers and test tubes all over them. The dogs hate them.”

“We have dogs?”

The light dimmed a bit, but the resiliency powered on. “We do. Kind of a lot, actually. They’re summons, though, so they’re not all in the house all the time. They don’t love your experiments—something about the smells—so they leave your lab alone, but there’s usually one or two in the house at any time. I think they’re all away now, though. They don’t like the apartment when it’s empty.”

Kabuto, on instinct, brought a hand up to Kakashi’s face. “You should go home. Take a shower, get something to eat.” His hand drifted into the mess of silver hair, then retreated back to his side. “You’re tired, Kakashi. I’m okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that you’re awake.”

They sat again in a silence for a few moments.

“Do you want a hair tie?”

It was Kabuto’s turn to be startled. “Sorry?

Kakashi pulled a thin black elastic band off of his wrist and offered it to him. “Your hair. You normally wear it pulled back in a ponytail. You say it helps you focus better if your hair isn’t touching your face, but I think you just don’t like styling it in the mornings.”

Slowly, Kabuto took the band and flexed his fingers against it, testing the stretch. After a moment, he raked his hands through his hair, pulling the silver strands up into a high ponytail. He fumbled with the elastic, unsure how tight to wrap it.

It was clear Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. “Is that… Is that what feels natural to you?”

Kabuto felt the silliness but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. “Not exactly… Do I normally have a mirror?”

He nodded. “You do, yes. Do you want me to try and find one here?”

The tie snapped, stinging against Kabuto’s fingertips and landing on the floor. He swore using a swear word he hadn’t known before hearing it in his own voice, and Kakashi bit back a laugh. Kabuto sighed, leaning back. “No, you don’t need to do that.” Kakashi seemed satisfied with that, and pushed up his sleeve to find another hair band, this one purple. When he offered that up, Kabuto hesitated. “Can you show me how I do it?”

“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he leaned forward as if he were going to put it on Kabuto himself, but only adjusted the way he was sitting so he could have a better view. Painstakingly, he finger-combed through the thick locks of dirty hair that refused to obey gravity, organizing them one by one to lay flat against his head, pinning them against his skull with the palm of his hand as he went. Slowly, he gathered it all at the base of his neck, looping the hair tie around the bundle twice to knot it at his nape. The resulting ponytail was short and aggressively bristled, but present.

“Thank you.” Kabuto admired the effort that went into the demonstration. “You look handsome like this.”

Kakashi smiled, but there was no light in his eyes. “Thanks. I’ve tried a couple times to actually wear my hair like this, but every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad, and then I have to take it out immediately.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” He paused, taking stock of the situation and Kabuto’s non-reaction. “I guess you don’t know, actually. It’s not important.” He slipped the elastic band off, freeing his hair and fluffing it back into place. “Ponytails are not for me. You, however, don’t look like yourself without one.”

Kabuto took a moment, ruminating on Kakashi’s words while he began the process of pulling his own hair back behind his head. For some reason, his muscles refused to remind him how this felt without a mirror to check his work in. Finally he gave in and turned to face his spouse.

“Would you mind helping me?”

Kakashi blinked several times in a row, then nodded, taking the hair tie and standing up. “Lean forward a little?” As Kabuto did, he stepped behind him and began running his fingers through his hair.

It felt normal. The sensation of this shinobi’s hands on his head, so close to so many vital and vulnerable places on his body was not frightening. Even if he couldn’t remember who this was, he knew in his heart that he trusted him with his life. This tiny act felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm.

All too quickly, the hair was gathered and Kakashi wrapped the purple band around it. “You normally do it three times. Four if the hair tie is stretched out. And then you kind of pull your hair like this—”

Kabuto’s hands went up to meet Kakashi’s, and together they tightened the ponytail. There were fireworks dancing in their fingertips, and they released the hair at the same time, letting it fall against his back. Kakashi returned to his seat by the bed, and Kabuto took his hand again.

“It feels right. This—this feels right, Kakashi.”

He smiled again beneath the mask, eyes glinting. “Good.”

His eye caught Kakashi’s wedding band, and he ran his finger over the engraving, focusing on it. It was there, just on the edge of his mind, what was the word—

“Hatake!”

Immediately, with deeply ingrained instinct, he replied “I didn’t do it.”

They both laughed, holding each other tenderly.

“Your name. Kakashi Hatake. This is your family crest?”

“Our family crest, yes.” He traced his finger over Kabuto’s ring.

“Something about seeing it, that helped. I think visuals are going to help me remember,” Kabuto said.

Kakashi appeared to make that a mental note, and started to list off things that might help bring back memories. In his vest and pockets, he had the Icha Icha book, some weapons, a photo of the two of them together printed on the same near-indestructible material that Kabuto used for his—

“Kabuto. I’ve got it.”

“You’ve got what?”

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid. I’ve been making fun of you for years, and you were right. You were completely,” he stood up, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on, “and utterly right, every minute of the way.”

“Kakashi? Care to let me in on the secret?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been writing these shinobi skill cards. They’re flash cards for your entire life. You made them with this special jutsu paper so they’re really sturdy, and they require your chakra signature to be read, and you have literally a thousand of them, if not more.” He cupped his hand around his jaw, thumb gently gliding along his cheekbone. “Kabuto. You made the cheat sheet for your entire life.”

your top 3 kakashi moments and why? :) love ur art btw <3

I've been thinking about this for days! Except for one very clear no.1 moment it was really tricky to narrow these down. Anyway, I managed and I think it's fitting to start somewhere in the beginning.

Pocket Pack

Kakashi was a cool badass/adorable bedridden hero teacher in over his head this entire arc and it's all great but my favorite moment is of course when the kids start dying/leaking nuke juice and it's time for ninken daddy to get serious, like: "Zabuza, enough with the bullshit, I need you to meet my adorable bulldogs," and he just starts twirling.

And then he looks like a bulldog while he's doing the summoning?!?!! Like, he's never that scrunched up wrinkly faced at any other time and I both love and fear the implications of what a full Kakashi sage mode might look like.

I don't know what this hand pose is but it's giving Sailor Moon and I'm so into it. NEXT!

Putting the fear in ROOT

Teen Kakashi, standing in Danzo's doorway just after the old bastard tried to have his eye stolen. Like, not only is Kakashi badly injured and acting directly against the Hokage's orders here, he is also about to burst into ROOT solo to rescue the guy who hurt him and called him friend-killer. Danzo stood in front of all of his agents saying Kakashi's eye would be an easy target because nobody would miss him and except for a few notable exceptions he wasn't wrong about that. Kakashi is on extremely thin ice here. He still walks right on through like he's got every right to be there, quietly daring those guards to make a move against him and when they do he gives them the stink eye!

We rarely get to see Kakashi use genjutsu like this and it's so good and cool and unsettling. I love the whole ANBU arc but this part is so perfectly dark and and the stakes are so fucking high.

Dilating horrors... NEXT!

Crybaby ninja

There was no doubt about this moment. Nothing compares to it for me but I have no idea how to begin explaining why. There's too much to say and I would love to say it in a way where the words really capture the emotions I feel while reading and watching this scene but I'm not equipped to do that right now, or maybe ever. There are too many layers.

Kakashi opening Obito's eye for the first time, letting us see the devastating origins of "Kakashi of the Sharingan" is like... yeah I can't summarize that. But you know. You already know <3

It's what happens next that really hits me every single time though. The clip of animation that is without a doubt my favorite Kakashi moment. The manga panel has it all in a single frame but the anime really takes it all the way. The hurt, the rage and the resolve. He's so small and strong and I believe in him. That makes me believe in myself too. It's one of those 'this is how good stories are supposed to work'-moments I think. There are enough sorrows packed into this child character for us all to wrap ourselves in. It's been nothing but heartbreaking and scary and awful up until this point but right here, in this moment there is a promise of catharsis. A lightning strike in just the right place.

Masterlist

Victor | he/him | 21

about me + request rules

requests are open! taglist and emoji anons are open as well <3

taglist:

@forever-atiny

emoji anons: 🌵

all pictures used in my works are from pinterest. credits to the owners.

all dividers in all my fics by the talented @cafekitsune

my darling moots <33:

@oimitocat @hw4-l1z @leezanetheofficial @theo4eve

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smut - s

fluff - f

angst - a

suggestive - m

smau - smau

random/ crack - c

platonic-p

thoughts-☾

recent:

In sickness and in health

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)

Stray Kids OT8

OT8 reaction to intimidating male reader (f,m)

Life Over Death (a,f,p)

YOU WHAT??? (p,c)

I'm Sorry (a,p)

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)(m,c,f)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)(m,c,f)

Bang Chan

Late Nights (s)

Mother Hen (p,f)

Lee Know

Scars (a,f)

Serenade (f)

Kitty cat (f,c)

Academic Validation (a,f)

untitled.(a)

Pretty Lady(s,f)

Scream(s)

One Last Time(a)

In sickness and in health(a,f)

Seo Changbin

Panic Attack (a,f)

Hwang Hyunjin

Missed You (f,s)

sunshine artist!hyunjin x grumpy writer!reader ☾(f)

model☾(m)

Han Jisung

Just a Joke? (a,f)

OMG (f,smau)

Barely there (a,f)

Lee Felix

That's obviously not what I meant (c,m,p)

Kim Seungmin

I don't know (a,p)

Yang Jeongin

"Shh"(s)

love is the most twisted curse of all

Keep reading

@oo-li , the colours of mine are all my favourite! 🤭🤭

not tagged by anyone for this, saw it on the lovely @lix-ables ♡

colour scheme of ur url/name !

tagging <3 @hyunlore @hwasdollie @miraeofficial @k0i-p0nd @kimaixun @skzonthebrain @milklesstea @lazystar @blizzardfluffykpop @hyunverse @hwgyun + anyone who sees this !! u can do this too (*＾∀ﾟ)b -`♡´-

☆ THE PLAYHOUSE

# you can find all of my fics & drabbles here. some works contain dark content and sensitive themes. please read the tags before proceeding. all top!reader. special events: kinktober ‘24!

ONE PIECE

monkey d. luffy

eat you up: you find out about your perverted captain's love for your huge size.

roronoa zoro

need you: a drunk, needy zoro seduces you into fucking him.

how to break a monster: cock so big it got his stomach bulgin'!

hungry work: you're hungry for him, in more ways than one.

backyard bunny (kinktober): guess he's your bunny now.

vinsmoke sanji

i want more!: you eat the brattiness out of his sore pussy.

pervert! sanji (drabble): you catch him masturbating to your underwear.

portgas d. ace

make me feel good: he wants to make you feel good. you'll gladly return the favour. ftm! reader.

trafalgar d. water law

burn, baby, burn: omega! law goes into heat after catching a whiff of your scent - it's up to you to satisfy him now.

let my fingers do the talking: fingering his pussy in public.

trickle: you wake up to your pregnant mate riding you.

dracule mihawk

distraction: he needs a distraction. you're happy to give him one.

donquixote doflamingo

crime and punishment: he was your master, but now he's just your plaything.

the omega! series (mini thirsts)

omega! luffy omega! zoro omega! law: your needy, pathetic omega mates.

JUJUTSU KAISEN

gojo satoru

stranger! reader + afab! satoru series: somnophilia exhibitionism

hot demon b!tches near u!!! (kinktober): your roommates? more like your sluts.

nanami kento

fuck you like an animal (kinktober): you're a werewolf exposed to the full moon. and he's your mate.

geto suguru

hot demon b!tches near u!!! (kinktober): your roommates? more like your sluts.

toji fushiguro

gun play: you’re a mafia boss, and he’s a spy sent out to honey trap you.

ryomen sukuna

with my hands around your throat: he'll never admit it, but he likes it when you make him beg for your cock.

beast feast (kinktober): in another life, they only knew you as his guard dog. in this one, he's yours to own.

THIRSTS / DRABBLES

cunnilingus monsterfucking feminization baby fever riding

THE SEQUEL !!!! OH MY GOD ITS EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF AND MORE- YOU DID SO WELL ON IT OMFG

ps - is there any name you would like to be called by ? i was going to call you kim, but i didnt want to assume ^^;

I go by the nickname AiXun. you can call me that dear 🤍

[The Last Wish] [SKZ Han JiSung x SKZ Lee MinHo]

The Sequel

‼️Breaking News! JYP Entertainment announces the passing of our beloved F/N M/N‼️

A week after M/N’s passing and a small funeral ceremony, only dedicated for close family and friends, the news was finally disclosed. Everyone was shocked and dismayed. Some even speculated that M/N had committed suicide because of the break up he had went through and Han JiSung was put under the bus.

SKZ went into hiatus immediately mainly because of two reasons. M/N was their closest friend, family member and they needed to mourn indefinitely to where their heart would take them. M/N was with them since the start and there was no way he could be forgotten in any way. To SKZ, M/N was their advisor, the parent of the group, a significant being who had always been there for them.

It was a day after the funeral ceremony when Chan had told Lee Know to meet him at the late’s M/N studio. Lee Know obeyed and went over to the studio. When he entered, Chan was sitting on the chair, staring onto the computer’s blank screen, tears streaming down his tears albeit the emotionless expression. Lee Know closed the doors behind him and went over to the leader. He was about to invite himself onto the chair next to the leader only to have the leader standing up and punching him across his face. 

Lee Know stumbled to the floor at the forceful blow, immensely taken aback. Chan had his fist clenched tightly still even after the punch; his breathing was heavy as he finally let out a cry. Lee Know knew that he deserved the punch. The only possible reason could be maybe Chan knew something. 

“He told me not to punch you or hurt you but, i can’t help it!” Chan yelled in frustration, falling onto the couch and he cried harder. 

Lee Know gathered himself before cautiously taking a seat beside the leader. He wraps an arm over his shoulder, comforting the older. It took a while for the leader to calm down and once he did, he mutely gave the dancer a black book. The two spent the next five minutes staring from the book to each other than back to the book. 

“I knew what had happened. I knew you and JiSung are in a relationship prior to their breakup. M/N told me everything. First of all, I’m sorry i punched you because i am very sure you know why and now, i happen to break one of M/N’s promise.” Chan sighed, “I can’t help it. If JiSung was here, i would punch him too, honestly.” 

A light chuckle left Chan’s lips as he finally calmed down, “the day M/N told you to bring JiSung to the training room was supposed to be the day M/N propose to JiSung. M/N saw you guys kissing, that was why he did not appear in the training room. He told me that he did not realise that 6 hours pass by just like that as he locked himself in this very studio. M/N was punished with the hanahaki and he did not deserve it. For two months, M/N suffered with the disease. The doctors told us there was no hope left unless JiSung would fall back in love with him or have a surgery to get it removed with the consequence of not being able to feel anything. He chose not to do anything with JiSung anymore because he saw how happy he looked with you.”

Chan got up to take a black velvet ring box, “before he collapsed the other day, he gave me this. He said you would need it when it’s time for you to propose to JiSung.” Lee Know took the ring box, opening to see a shiny diamond ring with JiSung’s name engraved on it. “Please tell Lee Know to take care of JiSung, make him happy. That was M/N’s last words to me before he was wheeled into the emergency room. So, it’s all in your hand now. The book is for you and JiSung. I hope you could fulfil M/N’s last wish.”

********

Han JiSung found himself in the tub, filled with white petals as tears stream down his cheeks. He had been unwell ever since M/N’s passing and discovering about the Hanahaki disease he know had was just an unfortunate bonus. Han JiSung could not stop thinking of his late ex boyfriend. Everything seems to have crash down on him.

“Sungie~, are you okay in there?”

JiSung panicked upon the voice, he cleared his throat, croaking out a reply as he gathered all the petals, throwing them into the toilet bowl, “I….I’ll be out in a minute.” He felt the regret as he flushed down the system. He washed his face before going out of the washroom, meeting Lee Know. He screened the latter’s face, seeing a forming bruise on his left cheek. “Your face…. What happened?”

“Nothing much. Are you okay? It’s almost two weeks you’ve been throwing up and coughing. I think we should see the doctors.” Lee Know said.

JiSung shook his head subtly before making his way over to their bed. He could see a black book on it. Curiosity had him. JiSung picked up the book, turning to the dancer, “what is this?”

“This belonged to M/N. We should read them together.”

JiSung could feel the ache in him as he plopped down on the bed, the book on his lap. His hands trembled as tears, once again made their way down his cheeks. Lee Know sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze as he opens the book.

‘As I laid eyes on you, the world stopped. You stood there, grinning as Chan introduced me to all of you but, out of all of you guys, only you, Han JiSung caught my eyes.’

‘I joined in the practice today because I was suppose to help Chan after the practice on song writings but, he had something to do urgently. So instead, I stayed back with you in the training room and we had our first ball dance after we joked about High School Musical. It was euphoria as I felt my heart sparks into fireworks when I held your hand.’

‘I realise I started to like you. I like the way you smile, I like the way you are passionate about your career, I like the way you persevere in everything and there is so more to it that I swear I can write a 10 series book about it. I think I might just love you.’

‘You had a breakdown from the recent dance practice. It keeps getting harder and you were exhausted. You begged to be held and I held you in my arms, assuring you softly.’

‘I finally decided that I am in love with you and today just happened that I confessed to you. You accepted my confession and I cannot describe how happy I am. I love you, to eternity and beyond.’

JiSung sniffled as Lee Know gave him a cup of tea. They had decided to take a pause from reading the black book once owned by M/N. Lee Know could feel the tremble from the rapper as he sat next to him.

“Let’s stop for the night and continue tomorrow. Let’s get you to bed, you need the rest please.” Lee Know told the rapper as he placed the black book onto the nightstand, pulling JiSung to bed.

JiSung followed the latter as they tugged themselves under the covers. The rapper shifted closer to the dancer until his back met his chest. He felt Lee Know’s arm around his waist , giving him a tight comforting hug. JiSung sinks into his hold, letting a sob soft out. He felt the itch on his throat as he cries but, he knew he couldn’t cough. He shouldn’t cough because, a petal might just be out.

The next morning, JiSung forced himself out of bed, taking a warm shower and got ready. Lee Know was still fast asleep beside him and he doubt any of the member would be awake too. He grabbed his belongings and the black book on the night stand before tiptoeing out of the room. A sigh of relieve left his lips seeing no one in the living room. The rapper exited the dorm and made his way towards late M/N’s studio. He felt the tears accumulate in his eyes as he entered the studio.

“Hi love. If you’re somewhere up there watching me, I miss you, a lot.” JiSung mumbled to himself as he sat on the roller chair. He finally opened to where he last stop reading and continued.

Lee Know woke up in panic, feeling the empty space next to him. He jolted out of bed, running out the room, searching everywhere around the dorm but, failed to find none other than Han JiSung. He barged into the leader’s room, waking the latter up in the process. Lee Know became even more panic-stricken. He jumbled on his words, trying to croak out that JiSung was missing. Thankfully, The leader understood and got out of bed, waking the rest of the guys.

Lee Know ran as fast as his feet could bring just to everywhere he could think of JiSung could have gone. His mind went out of the line showing him pictures he didn’t wish to see. He was worried. Anything could happen to his lover and only god would know what. JiSung could be out there doing something deadly and even be dead by now. Lee Know stopped for a second, shaking his thoughts away. He took a deep breath in and calm himself down before making his way to that one place that happens to pop up in his mind.

The cemetery.

Lee Know thanked the world for showing him where JiSung was. He could finally breath as he walks over silently from behind to where the rapper was. The rapper sat cross legged in front of M/N’s tomb, the book still in his hand. Lee Know felt something wrong. He wasn’t facing the rapper but he just knew something was not right. As he nears the rapper, he could hear the soft sobs from the latter.

“Sungie~” Lee Know called out. JiSung jolted in shock as he turned to the voice and Lee Know gasped. JiSung had white petals all over him and a stream of blood ran down the corner of his lips.

Hanahaki

“I….I can explain.” JiSung stuttered.

“No,” Lee Know replied sternly, “there is nothing for you to explain. You’re coming with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Hyung, M/N had Hanahaki disease because of me. For two months, he suffered so let it be, let me be the one suffering this time. I deserve it.” JiSung cried.

“And then what? It’ll be my turn to suffer?” Lee Know yelled, out of the worrisome, “so one day you will pass on just like how M/N did and leave me alone? I love you JiSung and you know that. Trash around, hit me, curse at me all you want but, I’m taking you to the hospital. We’re getting the surgery.” The dancer swept JiSung off the ground and begin walking away from the tomb. JiSung trashed around like kid, hitting Lee Know wherever he could reach for. Lee Know felt his heart break hearing the cries grew softer and softer until JiSung finally gave in, lifelessly hanging on Lee Know’s shoulder.

It was pure silence as JiSung laid on the hospital bed and Lee Know sat right beside him. They had settled down in the hospital after registering for the Hanahaki removal surgery, only waiting for their turn to be called on.

“Sungie~, listen.” Lee Know sighed, “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to this but, please, I just need the best for you. I can’t afford to let you suffer with the hanahaki the way M/N did and I made a promise. I love you, Sungie but, please. This is your only chance to stay alive.”

“What’s the point of staying alive anymore? Hyung, I will lose the capability to love someone after the removal and do you really think you could make me love you?”

Without hesitation, the dancer answered, “yes and I swear to eternity and beyond that I will love you and I will make you fall for me one way or another.”

“Really?” JiSung’s eyes softened as he felt the sincere words from the dancer. Lee Know nodded and grabbed the rapper’s hand.

“M/N’s last wish is for me to take care of you and make sure you’ll be happy and I will make that happen. Han JiSung, I am going to propose to you to be my forever and always.” Lee Know opens the black velvet ring box, “this was the ring M/N wanted to give you. I assume you have read the book finish so you know what was supposedly going to happen. Even though it is not M/N who is proposing to you, I want you to think that it is. I will take care and love you for the rest of my life and M/N will be watching over us, always.” The dancer slips the ring into JiSung’s finger.

“To eternity and beyond of his last wish?” The rapper asked, tears streaming down his face.

“To eternity and beyond of his last wish.” Lee Know affirmed and hugged the other.

The sequel of Hanahaki is up, finally! Dedicated to my dearest reader. Here’s for you.

@v3n0mszn