Jungwon Fanfic Recommendation 1 !

hiii omg idk if you're open for requests rn 😭

but if you are, i just saw something on tiktok and jsjsjsjsj this is literally the first thing that came into my mind 😭😭😭 it's something about a girl filming her boyfriend's reaction to her seating at the back seat and like i was wondering if you could do it with enha hshshs if it's okay, but it's also fine if it's not~ hope you have a nice day today!! i love your works sm <3

notes💕

awwww the idea is so cute!! and i had SO MUCH fun writing this!! my requests are always open!! thank you so much for requesting!! hope i stood your expectations and im sorry for doing that so late!!🥹🫶🏻 im also pretty sure most of them dont have driver’s licenses but let’s just pretend they do!!

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍

. . ҂ Enhypen’s reaction to their s/o sitting at the backseat ! . . ҂

. . ҂ Genre: fluff … ot7!Enhypen X Reader . . ҂

— Heeseung ♡

I’m sure this boy will be confused as hell

Would go like “but you like sitting in the passenger seat…”

Won’t force you to sit next to him but would be scared as fuck because he’ll start thinking he did something to piss you off.

“Are you angry at me…? Did i do something wrong?” He gave you those cute pleading eyes and you couldn’t help it but laugh, “No you didn’t, it’s a trend!! And you’re being filmed right now!” You pointed at your phone and kept laughing at his shocked expression.

— Jay ♡

Would look at you weirdly as soon as you enter the backseat.

He would probably go like “i think you skipped a part”

Won’t tell you anything and wait for you to say something about it.

“Aren’t you going to say anything about me sitting in the backseat?” He looked at you confused, “Thought about letting you realize it alone” He chuckled and stopped the car to let you get to the passenger seat. “It was filmed for a tiktok by the way” You turned to him and he made an “oh” face and you nodded, shaking your head disappointedly.

— Jake ♡

A LOST PUPPY PLSSSSS would give you those puppy eyes this bae is so confused.

Would immediately go like “Did i do something wrong?”

Would start driving anyway but would stop in the middle to confront you about it.

“Um, a question” He turned to you who looked clueless, “Why aren’t you sitting next to me?” He pout as you suddenly started smiling and giggling, “Wha—“ “It’s a trend!! I waited for some reaction and got it” You laughed, “Say hi to the camera!!” You waved at the camera and he too, waved embarrassedly.

— Sunghoon ♡

Literally clueless, didn’t notice that at first.

Would go like “uh oh what happened”

Obviously wants you to sit next to him but won’t tell you about it.

“Is it comfortable for you behind there?” He asked. “Hm? oh yeah it kinda is” You chuckled. “But i turned the ac off there” He murmured, “Did you say something?” “Nope, but are you sure it’s comfortable there? I mean it’s way more comfortable in the passenger sit” Before you could say anything, he stopped driving, waiting for you to move next to him. “It’s all filmed you know” You giggled, “At least i look good”

— Sunoo ♡

He noticed the camera as soon as he got into the car, he’s an ace at finding cameras. He still played along though.

If he didn’t happen to find the camera he would probably feel guilty and would go like “I definitely did something wrong”

Decides to tease you for a bit and wait for you to say something about it.

“Didn’t you notice something is different today?” You pointed out, “Hm? Not really, why?” He was looking at you through the front mirror. “I’m not sitting in the passenger seat” “Oh, i’ve noticed that, is it fun there?” He teasingly asked. “Alright stop driving im moving next to you” You moved next to him, pouting and looking out of the window. Before continuing to drive he pecked your cheek, “I know it’s filming” He pointed at the camera and giggled.

— Jungwon ♡

Mind. Is. Processing. Would literally take him years to understand what happened😭

Would go like “They always sit next to me…”

Even before he starts to drive he would open the backseat door and would take your hand and guide you to the passenger seat.

“This is your usual seat, you’re just confused today” He giggled and you couldn’t help it but laugh. He tilted his head in confusion, “You’re being filmed baby! It’s a trend that’s going on right now on tiktok and i decided to try it” You kept laughing and hugged him, “Your reactions are priceless” You pecked his cheek and pat his back.

— Riki ♡

Oh this boy is on TikTok 24/7 so he KNOWS your plan.

Would go like “Not today baby” with giggles.

Before he starts the car, he goes to sit next to you in one of the backseats with a smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to drive?” You looked confusedly at him, “I am, aren’t you supposed to sit in the passenger seat next to me?” He snapped back. You giggled and moved to the passenger seat, “You know that—“ “It’s being filmed, i know” He chuckled and started driving.

He looks so bf omg

🌷enhypen smau recommendations🌷

these are all fem!reader, my apologies !!!! pLEASE SENF ME RECOMMENDATIONS I LIVE LAUGH LOVE SMAUS

lee heeseung

a stoners guide to starbucks (completed) - @jayflrt lee heeseung x fem!reader, fluff, strangers to lovers. this was honestly the funniest thing ive read ever, i was properly laughing out loud.

verboten (completed) - @heesbaby lee heesung x fem!reader, fluff, smut, kind of an age gap? also kind of angst? girl this had me so hot and bothered, love love love.

poison (completed) - @onlyjaeyun lee heeseung x fem!reader, angst, smut, brothers best friend. my guy this was great i love lee heeseung and i also love user onlyjaeyun

park jongseong

strictly business (completed) - @onlyjaeyun park jonseong x fem!reader, fluff, smut, ceo!jay x secretary!reader i love a man in a suit ohmygosh also if you dont follow user onlyjaeyun youre doing it wrong, writing is immaculate.

park sunghoon

cold hearts (on going) - @onlyjaeyun park sunghoon x fem!reader, fluff, smut, friends to enemies to lovers i love toxic men unfortunately and sunghoon is mean in this one. i am so invested in this story its crazy.

the pleasure principal (on going) - @moonlighthoon park sunghoon x fem!reader, crack, smut, strangers to lovers this has been such a cute and funny read so far. cant wait for the rest.

fuck christmas (completed) - @jayflrt park sunghoon x fem!reader, crack, fluff, friends to lovers a quick read, but super sweet !!!

sim jaeyun

after hours (completed) - @heesbaby rockstar!jake x fem!reader, fluff, slow burn, smut. this had me hooked man, great writing !!!!!

hybe boy (completed) - @onlyjaeyun sim jaeyun x fem!reader, fluff, smut, strangers to lovers jake is honestly so cute in this story i love him so bad.

doctors orders (completed) - @heesbaby sim jaeyun x fem!reader, angst, fluff, smut. loved the angst in this one *chefs kiss*

kim sunoo

i havent seen a single smau for my baby, if anyone has recommendations PLEASE send them to me !!!!!

yang jungwon

cupids conflict (completed) - @amakumos yang jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, enemies to lovers but only one of them knows they're enemies lol this was sooooo cute

kindred (completed) - @thatfeelinwhenyou yang jungwon x fem!reader, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers i binged this story !!! it was soo good and cute and good and cuuuuttteeee

nishimura riki

joah (completed) - @jayujus nishimura riki x fem!reader, fluff, crack, enemies to lovers?? so cute, theres kind of a love triangle ? tbh this is the only fic ive ever read for niki.

my last effing straw */sobs aggressively

⌗ 𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗬 𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗘𝗦 !

⟢ SUMMARY. “If you were my little girl, I’d do everything I could.”

WARNINGS. daddy issues, parental seperation (father walking out), insecurity, toxic productivity, toxic perfectionism, inferiority complex, sibling rivalry (one-sided), attachment issues, abandonment issues, lots of tears? (mila cries a lot in this one)

NOTES. so um mila has daddy issues…? who would have guessed? 🫠⌇takes place after young and beautiful⌇“bold italics” = chinese, “italics” (double quote marks) = english, ‘italics’ (single quote marks) = flashback ⌇word count: ~7.7k⌇ requested: mila being insecure about heeseung and kiara

IT WAS QUIET. Something Mila had been used to for a long time — and yet, unlike the other times, this silence wasn’t nearly as stifling. As she lay there, her head on Jay’s chest as she listened to the beating of his heart, she could only feel warmth.

Heeseung stroked the top of her head, lulling Mila into a sense of comfort. She wondered if this was how babies felt when they were in the womb, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth — and if so, she understood why her mother claimed Mila didn’t want to leave.

‘You were almost harder to push out than your brother,’ Mila’s mother once said. ‘It was like you never wanted to leave.’

Ah, Mila thought. It all made sense now.

Because when you had something like this, it was only natural not to want to let go of it.

“You know you can come to us for anything, right?” Jay asked, kissing the top of her head lightly.

Mila bit her lip.

Since her fainting incident, the boys had been a lot more attentive to her than usual, if that was even possible. And while she was grateful for it — God, she’s never been more grateful for anything in her life than to have them — she couldn’t help the feeling of guilt in her stomach whenever she thought of the pain they had to go through whenever they were with her.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m just… I’m sorry.”

Jungwon frowned, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. It was times like this where his age showed — the times when it felt like he never wanted to let go of Mila, like a child clutching tightly to their security blanket.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that,” Jungwon said. “Just please… Talk to us, okay?”

Mila closed her eyes for a moment, before signing softly. She lifted her head, silently asking for Jay to let her sit up. And he did. Mila looked across the room at the boys, all of them watching her with varied expressions — but with one thing in common.

Love.

“Still,” Mila said. “I feel like… I think I still have to apologise.” She laughed dryly, fiddling with Sunoo’s fingers, as he sat beside her. “I just find it so hard to open up to people… but- but I should have known that if there was anyone I could open up to, it would be you all.”

The room was silent as the boys exchanged glances. They couldn’t say that they hadn’t noticed the same thing, too. They couldn’t remember the first person who pointed it out, but before debuting — before I-Land — there was such a thing that they had heard about Mila.

She was the famed ‘princess’ — the trainee from China with unreal visuals. Anyone who had the privilege of talking to her could say that, despite her still developing Korean, she was a pleasure to chat with. And yet…

‘Mila is easy to get along with,’ a trainee once said, ‘but hard to get close to.’

And the boys agreed; getting close to her was no easy feat. But slowly, one step at a time, it felt like they were getting somewhere. That she had seemed to be letting them in.

“I want to be open with you though,” Mila said, her eyes trained on Sunoo’s fingers. “I think… I’m just not used to having so many people to talk to. Or anyone. And I… I don’t know, I just— I’m so scared that one day you’ll realise I’m not the perfect girlfriend or that happy girl that you fell in love with…” Mila’s eyes grew distant, as if she were visiting a far away place in her mind.

“You don’t need to be perfect,” Sunghoon said. “None of us are. And that’s okay.”

Mila frowned. “But what if it’s not okay anymore? What if one day, you’ll all just…”

Sunoo frowned as Mila spoke. “We’ll just what?” he asked gently.

“That you’ll just leave.”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat. She mentally cursed in frustration at the language barrier that prevented her from communicating the depth of how she felt. Because there was so much she wanted to say, and yet the only thing she could say could only show the mere tip of the iceberg that was her mind. 

The boys shared saddened looks, and her heart clenched in her chest.

“We’re not leaving,” Jay said. “I know it’s a lot to promise, but we don’t ever want to leave you. All we want in return is for you to let us know what goes on in this pretty little head, okay?”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat.

The others didn’t add anything, because Jay had already said what they felt. And even if he hadn’t, it already showed. Mila couldn’t say she was a mind-reader, but their actions today spoke volumes. She wanted them to know, too, what they meant to her.

And so, for the first time in maybe forever… Mila found herself reaching out first.

“Remember that time I mentioned I didn’t have a dad?”

The boys immediately nodded. They could never forget that moment. It was an eye-opener to just how little they really knew about their little ray of sunshine — a metaphorical slap in the face if there ever was one.

It was during I-Land, one of the peaceful times where they were simply relaxing in the living room, sprawled out on the couches as they talked the daylight away. She had been talking animatedly with Daniel about something, and she had off-handendly said that she wished she could introduce him to her parents, to show off the adorable little brother she had gained.

‘Would your parents approve of me?’ Daniel had asked. To which Mila replied, ‘Of course! My mum would love you!’

Daniel’s natural response had been to ask, ‘What about your dad? Would he like me?’

And imagine the surprise of the boys when they heard her next words.

‘I don’t know,’ Mila replied nonchalantly — perhaps too nonchalantly. ‘I don’t have one.’

“I remember that,” Jake said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Until then, I didn’t realise that whenever someone asked about your parents, you only ever mentioned your mum.” Jay frowned, regretful that he hadn’t noticed sooner why she deliberately avoided the use of the term ‘parents’.

“Right. It wasn’t your fault, though. I never really gave anything away.” Mila laughed dryly. “Now that I think about it, I’ve always been pretty good at avoiding talking about myself. I guess I didn’t want anyone to get too close.”

“What about now?” Riki asked curiously.

Mila smiled. “Of course it’s different now. Because I have you.” The boys smiled fondly at her, and she found herself sighing. “I never really talked about it, because I didn’t know what to say. But I used to think that there was no point missing something I never really had… I mean, when my parents split up, I was still really young. I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

When Mila looked in the mirror, she saw a spitting image of her mother. Everything about Mila was so much like her mother that she had, at some point, convinced herself she was entirely her mother’s daughter. That in the same way that Mila’s mother had raised her alone, she too had been made alone. Though she knew she wasn’t.

As a little girl, Mila would be able to picture someone with a similar face to her brother’s, but more mature and aged; a more roughened version of her brother, who didn’t have the soft beauty that both Bai children inherited from their mother’s side. And if she tried hard enough, little Mila could see a set of dimples like her own, which seemed to be the only feature she didn’t share with her mother, and as such could have only come from the man that helped create her.

But one day, when Mila had grown old enough to forget, Mila found herself unable to imagine anything but a shadow. A blurred outline of a figure that wasn’t there. The only thing she could remember when she thought of him was a single memory of her hiding beneath covers with her brothers as two voices argued in the living room. And then the sound of the door being thrown open and slammed shut.

That was when Mila knew that he was truly gone from her life — if he was even truly part of it, to begin with.

“My mum raised me and my brother fine on her own. And my grandparents were there too, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t loved. I didn’t need him in my life. In fact, we were all happier without him.”

Mila frowned.

“But when I think about it now… I realised something. It’s like everything wrong with me was caused by him not being there… Because one day he was there, and then the next my mum told me he was going far away...” Mila blinked as the boys watched her with saddened eyes. And without even realising it, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “And then he never came back. And I didn’t know why, but him leaving… it…”

Mila couldn’t help the way her shoulders shook from the withheld emotions she was trying to keep locked up, like a dam only just being held back from a broken gate.

Mila didn’t hate her so-called father. He didn’t mean enough — wasn’t there enough — for her to associate any emotions to him other than cold detachment. But she did blame him. She blamed him for making her mother raise two kids alone. She blamed him for making her feel like they — that she — wasn’t good enough to make her stay. She blamed him for a lot of things. But what she blamed him the most for was making her crave affection and love so desperately… yet being too scared letting others close, in fear that they would be like him — that they too would turn their backs on her.

Mila, above all else, blamed her father for making her a coward like him.

“I just don’t understand why someone who isn’t even here can mess me up so badly…” Mila sobbed. “I hate it.”

“Oh, love…” Heeseung frowned, as Mila sniffled, her breath coming out in broken sobs.

The boys could only watch with heavy hearts as Mila continued to pour out her heart to them in what had to be one of her most vulnerable moments so far. They had never dared to ask about Mila’s situation with her parents, knowing that it might be a sore point for her to remember, even if she had constantly assured them that ‘it was fine’ and that she had ‘gotten over it’. But they never could have imagined this. That the reason she had been so scared of losing them, of them leaving her, was because she had already been left. By a man who, by nature, was supposed to love and cherish her above anything else in the world.

They were filled with a mixture of heartbreak, fierce protectiveness and anger, caused by someone they hadn’t even met. They couldn’t comprehend how anyone would be foolish enough to throw away the gift that was Mila… And yet, they could only thank her fool of a father for doing what he did — because he had given them the chance to appreciate the very thing he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon said as he rubbed the girl’s back. “Oppa’s here now.” He kissed her forehead, as Jay cradled the back of her head. “We’re all here now.”

That was all the boys needed as a cue to wrap Mila in their warmth, holding her close to them, whispering sweet words into her ear, so that she would know — even if they couldn’t express with words — just how much she meant to them. And that they, no matter what happened in the past and no matter how long it took to make her understand, were here for her. They would always be here for her.

They were here to stay.

MILA WAS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR WITH THE WORD ‘SECOND’. She was the second-born child, second best, and also second choice on many occasions. And she was reminded of it at the worst of times.

She vaguely remembered a scene from her childhood, where she left her room because of a nightmare that woke her up, only to overhear her mother crying on the phone.

‘They’re having a baby,’ Her mother had said into the phone, sobbing madly. ‘It’s hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already starting a new family. What about my kids, huh? What will they think of they find out their dad is out there happy and raising another kid when he couldn’t even stay for them?’

Like that, Mila had unknowingly found out the reason that her house was missing one person, why their family photos now had tears in them from the forceful removal of one of the figures. And that day must have cemented Mila’s fate. It seemed Mila was her mother’s daughter, through and through — in the best and worst way possible. Because it seemed that no matter how beautiful they were, how kind or gentle they were, they were both doomed to be second to another woman in the eyes of the men they loved.

And the funny thing was, if it was Kiara Park, Mila couldn’t even argue about the fairness of it. Because Mila understood why any person would choose Kiara over her. Depressingly enough, she had even accepted it.

Mila remembered during I-Land, when the older female was considered one of the top trainees. Period. Gender was irrelevant when it came to someone as talented and skilled as Kiara. During those days, Mila could feel that familiar twist in her gut whenever she realised just how wide the gap was between the two of them, and how — despite walking towards the same dream — they seemed to be on severely different paths from one another.

One of them was consistently ranked at the top of every mission alongside the Ace trainee himself, earning the respect and awe of all other trainees. The other had spent more time in Ground than I-Land, weighed down by constant doubt over whether she was there for her visuals rather than her merit.

Mila had envied the older female just as any other girl would. She was everything Mila wanted to be — beautiful, strong, and confident in herself. And being older, Kiara automatically had an air of maturity that Mila — no matter how hard she tried to replicate it — severely lacked. Once, Mila had made a poor joke that if Kiara was fine wine, then she was grape juice, because Mila was every sense of the word immature. She was jealous, clingy, and painfully inexperienced. Everything Kiara was not.

The only similarity the two girls seemed to share — other than being the only female members in Enhypen — was that both of them were (or, in Kiara’s case, was) in a romantic relationship with one Lee Heeseung. The difference there was that one of them was Heeseung’s first choice.

And once again, it wasn’t Mila.

“Why couldn’t it be me?”

Heeseung froze, the smile on his face falling when Mila had finally asked the question she had been wanting to ask for so long. Because it didn’t make sense to Mila that after being with someone like Kiara, he would be able to settle with her. And it was unfair to her to doubt him, to question his loyalty, but this irrational feeling, brought to her by years of feeling worthless — subpar, second place, not good enough — made her wonder why he was still here, holding her to his chest as they lay on his bed, like she were the most precious thing in the world.

“Baby,” Heeseung said softly, as Mila’s eyes teared up. “What’s wrong?”

Mila sniffled as Heeseung gently brushed his thumbs against her now wet cheeks.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

Heeseung frowned, his eyes full of worry. If he could get rid of her shadiness, he would; he would do anything to make her happy. And he hated that she looked so lost and broken in his arms, without a clue as to why she looked that way.

“What hurts, baby?” He gently pushed. “What’s making you sad?”

“It hurts that I wasn’t the first option,” Mila said with a small voice. Mila inhaled sharply. “Why couldn’t I get you to love me first? Why couldn’t I get to you before Eonnie did?”

Mila had tried so hard to leave it in the past. But she had already unlocked so many memories of the past by opening up to the boys about her childhood, by letting them into that space she hadn’t shown anyone else. And now those thoughts that she ran away from could finally catch up to her.

Heeseung felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. Mila had been so worried about them leaving her, but all he could think about was how he always managed to — directly or indirectly — cause her pain. And it hurt like nothing else ever could to know that he had done this to her, even unintentionally. Especially after finding out just what she went through growing up.

Whenever Heeseung thought of the image of a younger Mila, lost and alone, he wanted nothing more than to sweep her up and hug her to his chest, telling her that it would be okay. That she didn’t have to grow up fearing closeness or affection. That when she got older, she would meet seven people who would love her like she always deserved, as long as she let them.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t spare her the pain that she had carried with her all these years. All he could do was make up for it with the time they had together.

Starting now.

“Trust me when I say that I loved you for a long time,” Heeseung said. “And everyday I regret that I didn’t realise it earlier. Because the whole time I spent with someone I didn’t even like romantically, I could have spent it with you, holding you like this…” He cradled her head with one hand and the other hand grabbing her smaller hand in his. “Kissing you like this…” He kissed away the tears on Mila’s cheeks. “I could have had you faster, and saved you from hurting like you are now. But I was blind and didn’t even realise it until I almost lost you for good. You were always enough, my love. It was never your fault. You were— are— everything I want and need.”

‘You were always enough.’ ‘It was never your fault.’ Mila hadn’t realised just how long she was waiting to hear those words — from anyone. She didn’t realise just how much she wanted to be told that she — as flawed as she was — was still enough. And yet, just as always, Heeseung knew exactly what to say, and what she needed to hear.

Mila blinked away the tears in her eyes, her heart feeling lighter than it had before. “Really?”

“Really.” Heeseung squeezed Mila’s hand before lifting her to where his heart was, resting her palm flat against it. “Do you feel that?”

Mila nodded as she felt his strong heartbeats against his chest. 

“That’s yours.”

Mila’s breath caught in her throat, her own heart fluttering in her chest, despite her previous state of despair. Heeseung smiled softly as he looked into Mila’s eyes, his own sparkling with adoration that made Mila feel as if she were the only girl in the world.

Did this man even know what he was promising her? Just how much he was placing in her hands? If so, Mila realised she was more foolish than she originally thought. Because no one could ever give away something so precious to someone who didn’t mean just as much — if not more.

“No matter what happened in the past, just know that this—“ (Heeseung rubbed his thumb against the back of Mila’s palm.) “—is yours now. And it always will be. No one else’s. You’re more than ‘first’ — you’re my last. You’re my one and only. You’re it for me, baby.”

When Heeseung looked in Mila’s eyes to see that dazzling look he had grown to love, he knew that he would do anything to keep it. He had given his heart to her already — he would give everything else he had as well.

“I love you,” Mila whispered.

Heeseung smiled. “I love you too.”

Without another word, he leant down and pressed his lips to hers, cherishing the feeling of her soft lips against his. By the time they seperated, the only words they had for each other were the desperate ‘I love you’ that spilled from their lips, which sought each other out like they were lost without them. Then they remained there, no words shared — only kisses and warmth.

And that was enough for Mila.

She was enough.

MILA MISSED HER CHILDHOOD. Not necessarily in the sense that she would relive it, but more so because she knew that she didn’t spend it as she should have. Now she was an adult with a career that didn’t allow her the same freedoms as she had back then, and she found herself wishing she hadn’t been so hard on herself. That she let herself have more fun, that she made more friends, that she played more often. That she let herself be a child.

But she had always been harsh on herself. Even then.

Mila remembered anxiously picking at her vegetables on the rare day that her mother finished work early — because of course her mother had to eat dinner with them on the day that Mila would rather be alone.

‘I heard the results came out today,’ her mother said. ‘How did it go?’

And Mila instantly knew how it would end.

Just like always, her brother had done perfectly. Because when did he not? Top of his class, every teacher’s favourite student, star player on the basketball team, everyone’s role model — including herself. And Mila could wish all she wanted that one day, he might do a little less perfectly, so that she could feel better about not being as smart or sporty or charismatic as him. But then she would hate herself even more, for wishing failure upon her own flesh and blood.

So, she could only quietly eat her food, her head lowered, as her brother continued to talk about the praise he had received from his teachers. And in return, their mother glowed with pride, showering him with compliments.

‘How did I give birth to such a smart son?’ their mother gushed as she liked his plate with the best dishes. ‘Eat more. You need to eat well to replenish all your energy. Actually— why don’t I ask Aunty to make your favourite snacks tonight? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if she heard how well you did.’

‘No need for that, Mama,’ Mila’s brother replied. ‘I’m fine just being able to eat dinner with you and Baobao.’

And Mila’s mother smiled lovingly, pride clear on her eyes. ‘Baobao’ was Mila’s family nickname; a name that meant ‘treasure’. But at times like this, Mila wondered if she was really worthy of such a name — when her brother seemed to shine brighter than she ever could.

Mila could already imagine her mother going to work the next day, bragging to her coworkers about her exceptional son, who was born gifted and talented — and Mila wondered if there was ever a time that her mother had done the same for her. That maybe, there was something worthy about her otherwise mediocre daughter that she could praise to the skies about.

But that was probably impossible, wasn’t it?

‘What about you, Baobao?’ Mila’s mother asked. ‘How were you exams?’

Mila bit her lip as she thought of her highest score — the 92 she had gotten on her English test — and then remembered her brother saying his lowest score was a 93. Even her best couldn’t match her brother’s worst. How sad was that?

‘It was so-so,’ she replied, before setting down her chopsticks. She forced a smile to avoid suspicion. ‘Thank you for the food. I’m finished eating now.’

And without another word, she excused herself from the table.

Mila cried herself to sleep that night — as she did on many nights — wondering when she would ever be able to do something to receive the same praise and recognition her brother did. She chased it so desperately that she threw her youth away. When she wasn’t at cheerleading practise, she was at her desk; and when she wasn’t at her desk, she was at school club meetings. Then when Mila became a trainee, it was like history repeated itself. She put hours upon hours into practice, never resting until she knew she had gotten everything perfect. And if she was anything less than perfect, she simply put in more. More hours, more sweat, more tears.

And it was happening all over again. Her face behind in her arms as she lay on her desk, overwhelmed by the papers scattered around her.

It was her day off, as five of the members (Kiara, Heedeung, Jungwon, Jay and Riki) were filming for a variety shoot. So, she had been locked up in her room for hours by that point, determined to make use of her free time to catch up on the school work that she missed. But looking at content on top of more content, her brain had already reached its breaking point, and no matter how much she looked at the materials in front of her, the only thing she could think was that she was just so tired.

And that was when Jake walked in to see her crying.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t understand,” Mila replied in frustration. “No matter what I do, I can’t get it,” she said quietly. “I feel so stupid.”

“Shhh… hey, hey,” Jake said softly, kneeling in front of Mila and cupping her cheek. “Don’t say that, okay? You’re not stupid. You’re just having a slump. And that’s okay. Because you’ll pick yourself back up again.”

Mila sniffled. “But everyone else is already so ahead of me.” It was like she was a child all over again, chasing after her brother’s legacy. “It’s like I’m the only one lagging behind.”

Jake sighed, his eyes sad for the girl in front of him. He had always admired her ethic to improve — but he often wished she could be kinder and more patient with herself, as she was to others.

“You’re not behind. You just need more take time, and that’s okay. Not everyone gets it in right away— but what matters is you’ll get it eventually.” Mila nodded as she took in Jake’s words, feeling slightly better about her lack of progress. Jake smiled encouragingly. “You’ve been working so hard the past few days,” he said, “it’s time for a break.” He got up and started to pull her out of her seat. “Come on.”

“What?” Mila shook her head. “But I have to finish this.”

“You can finish it later,” Jake replied. “You have all the time in the world. That’s enough to give yourself a break and come back, when you can think clearer.”

Mila bit her lip as Jake called out to Sunghoon and Sunoo, the only other remaining members in the dorm. “Get ready!” he yelled. “We’re taking Mila on a date!”

Mila couldn’t protest anymore. Not when Sunoo and Sunghoon later joined Jake in nagging her, before threatening to carry her to the car themselves. Embarrassed by the mere thought of it, Mila immediately agreed to do what they wanted and let them take her out on a date at the mall. They had just gotten food to eat, when Sunoo noticed the arcade, which in turn made Mila excited.

“Can we go there?” she asked excitedly, tugging on Sunghoon’s and Jake’s sleeve. “Please?”

Taking one look at her pleasing eyes, the boys knew they didn’t have the heart in them to say no. Jake, who Jay had told to be back at the dorms by a certain time so they could all have dinner together, could have said no. Maybe Mila would have pouted a little about it, but they would be able to sweet-talk her and bribe her with the promise of chocolates. 

And yet, without a second of hesitation, he and Sunghoon immediately agreed, letting the girl drag them into the arcade by the sleeves while Sunoo skipped beside them. It was dangerous just how much they were willing to do for her and let her get away with. But it was no secret that they were down bad for their girlfriend — and they weren’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Which is how they ended up following her around after getting their tokens, watching her attempt various different games.

“Wah, that looks cute!” Mila said as she pointed to a crane machine, full of mini plushies. “I’m going to try to get one.”

Mila slipped a token into the coin slot, before grabbing the controls of the machine. 

“Don’t you have too many already?” Sunoo teased.

Mila laughed. “You can never have too many.” She returned her attention to the machine before manoeuvring the hook so that it hovered above a small bunny plush. “I’m going to go for the bunny.”

“Move a little to the left,” Jake said. 

“No, no,” Sunghoon disagreed, “you’re fine where you are.”

Mila furrowed her eyebrows. “Huh? Then do I move left or stay here?”

“Move left.” “Stay there.”

Sunghoon and Jake exchanged looks.

“Just do whatever!” Sunoo interjected. “Don’t listen to them. They’re bad at this game anyway.”

“No I’m not!” The two exclaimed in unison.

“Here.” Sunghoon put a hand on the small of Mila’s back before moving to stand behind her, placing his hands over hers as he helped her manoeuvre the controls. “I’ll help you.”

“Ayeeeee,” Sunoo and Jake chorused teasingly.

Sunghoon smiled shyly, a complete contrast to the confidence in his aura as he helped Mila to coordinate. As soon as he found a good angle at which to drop the crane, he told Mila to press the buttons. And the four of them watched as the crane descended, grabbing onto the bunny’s neck.

“Oh— it’s working, it’s working!” Sunoo announced as the crane successfully picked up the bunny. But halfway to the drop zone, it suddenly fell, causing them all to groan in disappointment.

Mila sighed. “Ah, it was so close…” 

Seeing her disappointed expression, Jake immediately jumped in. “Let me try.” Sunghoon moved aside and let Jake take his spot, watching as Jake did the same movements as he did before. “Okay, try pressing the button now.”

Mila did as Jake said and pressed the button. However, just like before, it only made it halfway. The four of them — too invested in the claw game — stood there for goodness knows how long, trying to get the plushie, until Mila decided to do it herself.

“Okay, last time! Here we go!”

Mila bit her lip in concentration, her eyes fixed solely on the machine in front of her. Sunoo, who was standing beside her, watching with fond eyes, taking in all her features as she remained fixated. It was just like her to be so focused on her goals, and this time, he was glad that even if she never did lose her tunnel vision, she was using it for something other than work.

Mila watched in anticipation as the crane lifted to the bunny, breath baited as she watched it travel over the other plushies below on its way to the drop zone. And when the bunny made it all the way to the end, she couldn’t help her jump for joy.

“I did it!” she yelled before turning to her lovers. “I got it! I got it!”

The boys laughed as Mila excitedly grabbed the bunny from the tray.

“Good job,” Sunghoon baby-talked.

Jake patted her head, as Sunoo clapped.

“It’s cute,” Sunoo said as Mila held it up.

“It kinda looks like you,” Sunghoon added.

Jake laughed. “Right?”

Mila laughed. By that moment, Mila had already forgotten about the sheets on her desk back at the dorm. She had spent so much time on tests and evaluations already, she realised she needed this break. At times like this, Mila realised just how much was out there. How beautiful life could be when she stopped obsessing about numbers on a piece of paper, or the approval of fickle-hearted people who could care less about who she was and what she went through. Especially when she could amend time with the people she loved instead.

This moment right here?

It made her happier than a 100 on any test could.

LONELINESS WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MILA’S. It wasn’t like Mila didn’t have anyone who cared. Quite the opposite, in fact. She knew her mother loved her, and she knew her older brother would do anything to keep her safe. But when you were a child who had been convinced that you were a nuisance for wanting comfort — by someone who you barely even knew — you just learnt not to ask for anything more than what you already had.

‘Aiya, what are you doing out of bed?’ The housemaid asked one night, when a young Mila would wander out of her room, clutching a stuffed bunny in her arms.

‘I wanted to sleep with Mama,’ Mila replied.

The housemaid clicked her tongue, and put her hands on her hips, looking down at the young girl with a reprimanding stare. ‘Your mama only just got back home from a long day at work, ah. She needs sleep, but she can’t do that if she has to look after you. Do you want Mama to be tired in the morning?’

Mila immediately shook her head. ‘No.’ She looked down at the floor in shame, before asking, ‘Then can I sleep with Gēgē instead?’

The housemaid sighed. ‘Your older brother is tired from studying so hard, unlike you. You shouldn’t disturb his sleep.’ The housemaid held out a hand. ‘Here. Aunty will tuck you in.’

Mila hesitantly took the older woman’s hand, barely even holding on to it. But the woman didn’t seem to mind as she hurriedly escorted Mila to her room. The older woman had barely put the sheets up to Mila’s chin before she was bidding her goodnight and turning the lights off, shutting the door before Mila could even protest.

Mila turned on the bedside light beside her and screwed her eyes shut, forcing herself back to sleep. And the next morning, when she woke up, feeling as if she had barely slept at all, she took one look at her older brother, who had been diligently reading a book at the dining table, while the housemaid smiled fondly and served his breakfast; and then at her mother’s seat at the table which, like always, was empty at this time. And at that moment, Mila realised that maybe she really was just a nuisance. Because everyone seemed to have more important things to worry about than her.

That’s why Mila looked forward to the weekends more than anything — because then the whole family would be complete, and they would spend time together like families usually did. Her mother would take her and her brother to the park, and the two would play tag and other games. And she could pretend for a second that she wasn’t lonely, that she wasn’t desperate for just a little more affection.

But then time passed, her brother finally outgrew his little sister, and her mother had deemed her old enough to look after herself. Then Mila was by herself more than she wasn’t. And so, Mila learnt to enjoy the times she spent in the living room, alone, while she quietly watched her favourite shows on the television; or the times sitting by herself at the dinner table, with nothing but the sound of her chopsticks clicking against the dishes. Because there was nothing else she could really do about it.

But things were different now. Because the thing about the Enhypen dorms was that it was never quiet for long.

“Yah!” The sound of Sunoo’s yell was the first thing Mila woke up to. “Who used my lotion?”

“It wasn’t me!” came Jake’s reply. “Ask Sunghoon!”

Mila could just barely make out Sunghoon’s tired voice asking, “Why are you blaming me?”

With a giggle, Mila rubbed the sleep away from her eyes. But just as she made a move to stretch her arms over her head, she suddenly became aware of the other person occupying her bed and restraining her in a tight hug.

Riki groaned, nuzzling his face into Mila’s neck. “Don’t go…”

Mila laughed and did the best she could to pay his head as he clung to her side. His leg was thrown over Mila’s waist, and his arms over her chest, taking up almost all the space on Mila’s bed, leaving only a fraction of it to her. And yet, Mila couldn’t find it in her to be mad about it. Because she figured, she would rather be squished on a bed from having to fit two people, than to take up the entire space by herself.

“Bǎobèi,” Mila said with a mock stern voice, softened by the use of the pet name meaning ‘Baby’. “You need to wake up before Sunoo comes in here and scolds you for using his lotion again.”

Riki whined and squeezed Mila tighter. There was a reason why Mila was his favourite sleeping buddy. And it happened to be because: one, she was the perfect size to cuddle — like a life-sized teddy bear — and just as soft; and two, as much as he hated to admit it, he loved the way she would baby him in the mornings. He didn’t know that Mila treasured his cuddles just as much as he treasured having her in his arms. But he was just glad she was one of those people she let in — that he could be close to her in ways that some people would never get the chance.

Maybe Mila had been lonely, but Riki would always be here to show her that she could always count on him for company.

Riki furrowed his eyebrows when there was a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice. “Noona.”

“Wonnie?” Mila asked, her eyes brightening. Riki groaned, rolling his eyes as she said, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal Jungwon, his dimples appearing with the way he smiled so widely, and his  eyes holding a galaxy of emotion. Riki could recognise that look anywhere, because it was the same one that he — that they all — had when they looked at Mila. As if she were the only girl in the world, the only thing that mattered. Perhaps Mila was the only one who didn’t see it. But that was okay. Because they had all the time in the world to show her.

“Yah,” Jungwon said to Riki, poking his side. “Get up. You got to cuddle her the whole night.”

Riki scoffed. He haughtily turned his head away from the elder and pouted as he clung on to Mila. “Don’t want to.”

Jungwon scrunched up his nose in distaste before turning to Mila, who watched the two with fondness on her eyes. She couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered, knowing that they valued her company enough to bicker about it. And her smile only grew when Jungwon pulled out those kittenish pleasing looks of his that he knew she could never resist.

“Darling, can you tell him to go away?” Jungwon asked. “I want to cuddle with you now.”

Mila laughed, before holding out a hand to him. “Then come here. We can all cuddle together.”

Riki smirked smugly, knowing that Mila would never kick him off of her bed. (Or any of them for that matter— but he just wanted bragging rights.) Jungwon looked mildly displeased at the thought of not getting Mila to himself, but then the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement as Jungwon’s eyes flickered with mischief.

As Mila was lying closest to the wall, Jungwon would have to get over Riki first. And being petty as he was, Jungwon — all decorum of a leader cast aside  —  stepped over him, purposely digging his foot into the younger’s side. A look that could only be described as a smug cat-like grin crossed Jungwon’s face when Riki yelped in pain, clutching his side. In the short window of time that Riki’s arm wasn’t on Mila, Jungwon lay himself on top of her, his head on her chest.

“Hyung!” Riki said indignantly. “That hurt!”

Jungwon simply stuck out his tongue before nuzzling his face into Mila’s — or rather, Sunoo’s — hoodie. He sighed in content when Mila’s hand immediately went to his locks, unaware that the other was gently rubbing Riki’s “hurt” side.

“Are you okay?” Mila asked, as Riki scrunched his nose up.

The younger glared at the elder, who was purposely hogging as much of Mila as possible. Feeling petty, he kicked Jungwon’s foot. 

“Yah, hyung, stop hogging and move over.”

Jungwon huffed. “Don’t want to.”

“Moveeee,” Riki whined, before looking at Mila with a helpless look.

Mila laughed. “Okay, okay. Move over a bit.”

Riki immediately did what Mila said and moved to the edge of the bed. Mila then tapped Jungwon’s back and instructed him to squeeze in between Mila and the wall. Just like that, Mila was in between two extremely clingy males who latched onto her like koalas.

“Better?” Mila asked.

“Eung,” both boys replied.

There was a short silence before Jungwon then added, “It would be better if Niki wasn’t here, though.”

Riki’s head shot up. “Then leave.”

Mila sighed as the two went back and forth. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to be truly mad. Because how could she, when it showed just how much they cherished her? They found comfort in her, as she did in them. And that alone was enough to fill her with contentment.

“I’m her favourite, anyway,” Riki said.

Jungwon clicked his tongue. “No, you’re not.”

“Who’s the one who got to cuddle her last night?”

“That’s only because it was your turn. Remember that it’s my turn tonight, so you’re not allowed anywhere near her bed.”

Mila laughed.

Yes, the Enhypen dorms were loud. Yes, there was bickering and petty fighting. And yes, sometimes Mila worried that the walls might fly off with how noisy things could get. But Mila wouldn’t have it any other way.

If anything, it just reminded her she wasn’t alone.

MILA HAD ALWAYS BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON. It wasn’t something she was proud of, nor which she liked to admit. But it was true. And it had to be her tragedy that there was always someone out there with something she wanted, but never really had — especially as a kid.

Other children envied the fact that Mila always had a pretty set of shoes and dresses to wear; a different hair clip in her hair every day, a pencil case full of assorted crayons and coloured pencils of the best brand; a shiny car, and not to mention the best snacks for lunch. But they didn’t realise she envied them, too.

Mila wondered if those kids from her youth realised now that Mila would have traded her store-bought food in a heartbeat for their homemade lunches. That even if she had shiny fancy hair clips and pretty dresses, it wasn’t her mother (who was always gone by the time Mila woke up for school) who helped her into them, but something she had learned to do herself, instead. And Mila couldn’t care less about the shiny car that came to pick her up after school, because unlike the other kids, she knew her dad wouldn’t be stepping out of it, smiling, and opening his arms for her to run straight into them.

Instead, Mila would only wait awkwardly in her classroom, watching as her classmate’s father picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

‘How was my princess’ day?’ Her classmate’s father asked. And then Mila’s classmate showed him the picture she painted that day, of her happy family, to which her father beamed and said, ‘Wow, you drew this? It’s too good to be a pre-schoolers. Why don’t we get ice cream as a treat?’

Mila could only watch in envy as the father- daughter pair left the classroom in a fit of giggles and laughter, just as her chauffeur appeared at the door, gesturing impatiently for her to follow him. Then Mila followed him with rushed steps — scared of annoying him if she took too long — her own painting that she had drawn that day folded and forgotten inside her backpack.

But that was okay, Mila thought. She knew her mother was busy at work, and with playing the role of two parents, so it was hard for her to be there for Mila; and her grandparents lived in a different city, so it wasn’t like she could stay with them either. So she would just have to go home as she usually did, waiting until the time her brother finished training so that she wasn’t alone.

And Mila accepted that. She had gotten used to it. Because she hadn’t known anything else… Until she gained so much more.

“Ayeeeeee!”

Mila had just finished putting on her backpack, she was startled by the jostling of her classmates who had erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. Confused, she looked up to find the source of the sudden rowdiness. And there he was. Jay, standing at the door in his uniform and coat, with a smile on his face.

Mila could only smile back, fondness filling her chest. She knew there a bunch of envious gazes and excited whispers going through the classroom, but she didn’t notice them. All she could see was him, waiting to pick her up from class himself.

“Don’t make the poor man wait,” her classmate said teasingly. “He looks like he’s dying to run up to you right now.”

Without a quick goodbye, Mila skipped up to Jay happily, his eyes brightening with each step she took towards him. When she got to him, his hand immediately found her bag strap, a soft smile on his face.

“Let me carry it,” he said, taking the bag from Mila before she could protest.

Mila giggled. “I can carry my own bag.”

“I know,” Jay replied while chuckling. “But let me do this for you, okay?”

Jay didn’t know if Mila knew just how much it meant to him, having her rely on him for these kinds of things, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed. He knew that if she didn’t want his help, he would have no choice but to respect her decision — and yet, at the same time he couldn’t help the feeling in his chest whenever he looked at her and her bright eyes. The feeling of doing anything and everything for her. For no reason at all except that she deserved it.

Even before Jay knew anything about her childhood — and the empty gap waiting to be filled — he had already promised himself to be someone she could depend on. And now that urge only grew stronger.

“What do you want for lunch?” Jay asked gently as he brushed a strand of hair from Mila’s face. “We have time to get some food to eat before we go back to the dorms.” Noticing Mila’s hesitant lip bite, he added, “Get anything. I don’t mind.”

Mila hummed. “In that case… Is it okay if we go home to eat?” Mila asked shyly. “I really feel like having some of your cooking.”

Jay’s chest was filled with warmth, both pride and joy. He would do anything that she asked if it made her happy. But hearing that she wanted to have his cooking more than any other option made him wish that teleportation existed, so that he could get to the dorm and make something for her as quickly as they could.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll let Sunoo know to meet us at the car.”

Mila could only smile warmly, adoration shining in her eyes like sunlight through a painted glass window — full of vibrant colours that only love could make. The two of them walked side by side, their fingers brushing against each other, not too close as to avoid the curious eyes of their schoolmates.

“How was your day?” Jay asked, tugging her closer to him when a rowdy pair of male students ran past and switching sides with her so she was walking on the less crowded side of the hall.

Mila hummed, before she smiled upon remembering something. “It was good! During Math, one of the teachers asked me to solve the problem on the board — and it was hard at first, but I actually did it right!”

Jay beamed. “Really?” When Mila nodded happily, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. And when they finally reached the less crowded part of the school on the way to their van, Jay leant down to whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against the shell. “I’m so proud of you.”

Mila had almost cried then and there. She somehow made it to the van without shedding a tear. But that afternoon, when Mila sat at the dinner table with Jay next to her, holding chopsticks to her mouth, she really did cry. Her eyes watered, glassy with tears as Jay fed her the food that he had cooked just for her.

“Thank you,” Mila whispered, unable to say anything else. Because she didn’t want to apologise anymore. Jay deserved more than that. They all did. She was grateful for them. Grateful that they loved her. Grateful that she got the chance to love them in return.

And for a split-second, Mila wondered if Jay thought she was odd for crying out of nowhere. But of course, he didn’t. Because that was just who he was. That was Jay.

“Shhh, I know,” Jay whispered, wiping the tears off her face as she chewed on her food. He kissed her forehead and said, “It’s okay.”

And Mila believed him.

Jay was there, and so were the others. And she believed if they were together, then everything was going to be okay. Because the same way she promised — then and there — to do all she could for them, so too would they do the same for her. Would give the world if she asked, wrapped up in a bow. And if she lacked love before, then all they would have to do is make up for it with their own.

Because she was their girl now.

TAGLIST: @lanamoonroh @3amstarlight @nikitopia @one16core @onlyuyu @xinikons @clar-iii @shinrjj @nee-issaire @elizalabs3 @lol6sposts @cyberpunksunwoo @woonkies @wonsctz @euniceruiz11 @curly-fr13s

my man fr

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I can't believe I read this first thing as I opened this app 😭 This was cute and funny, though (this just validated my fear of pregnancy–still hell no to this and hell yeah to being single and non‐pregnant ¿ 🙏). Super love u, Daichi 😭🤍

Pregnancy: Daichi (NSFW)

You were officially forty-one weeks pregnant.

Forty-one weeks. Not thirty-nine. Not even the neat, ominous weight of forty. No, you had blown straight past your due date like a train with no brakes and were now living in the swollen purgatory of maternity hell—bloated, achy, short-tempered, and so fed up with your body that you would’ve gladly traded it in for a paper bag and a nap.

Your body ached in places you didn’t know could ache. Your back felt like it had been used as a trampoline in the night. Your hips were stiff. Your feet looked like they belonged to someone who’d spent ten hours standing in a swamp. And your belly? Your belly felt like it had become its own planet, stretching your skin so taut you were convinced you could drum a beat on it.

Nothing fit anymore. Not your clothes. Not your shoes. Not even your own skin, if you were honest. Your maternity leggings had officially waved the white flag. Your bras were lost causes. Your wedding rings had been stashed in a drawer weeks ago, too tight to slide over even a knuckle. And the seatbelt? Daichi had to adjust it for you now, like you were precious cargo—though to be fair, at this point, you basically were. He was careful and considerate and just a little too cheerful about it all, which made it even more infuriating.

“Got everything?” he asked softly, adjusting the strap of your maternity bag over his shoulder like it weighed nothing.

You didn’t look at him. You didn’t smile. You didn’t even grunt. You groaned—a long, low, theatrical sound of suffering as you slowly lowered yourself into the passenger seat like an elephant easing into a beanbag chair.

He took it in stride. He’d stopped taking anything personally around week thirty-seven.

Still, he reached across and placed his warm palm on your thigh once you were settled, rubbing his thumb in slow, steady circles. You didn’t push it away. You rested your hand on top of his and gave him a tired look that said, If I have to live in this body one more day, I will cry.

The car ride to the clinic was mostly quiet. You sighed a lot. Adjusted the air vents. Rolled down the window. Rolled it back up. Turned the A/C colder. Then warmer. Daichi drove patiently, sneaking occasional glances at you like he wanted to say something encouraging but also very much wanted to survive the day.

The clinic’s waiting room was somehow worse than usual. The chairs were uncomfortable, the light was too bright, and the cheerful wall art—baby elephants, pastel hearts, encouraging quotes in cursive—made you want to scream. You stared at the pamphlet beside you titled “Smiling Through the Third Trimester” with a level of disdain typically reserved for war crimes.

Daichi sat beside you flipping through a magazine that he absolutely wasn’t reading, occasionally peeking at you with quiet concern while trying not to make eye contact with the receptionist, who kept looking at you like you were a ticking time bomb.

When the nurse finally called your name, you heaved yourself up with a groan and waddled toward the hallway like a warrior going into battle. Daichi followed at a polite distance, like a man who knew better than to walk too close to a woman this pregnant and this pissed.

The exam room felt like a refrigerator. You plopped down on the crinkly paper with another long sigh, then glared at the stirrups like they’d personally wronged you. Daichi sat in the chair next to the table and gently rubbed your back, his thumb tracing light circles over your spine.

“Almost there,” he murmured, ever the optimist. “Just hang in a little longer.”

You turned your head to him, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion and fury. “I swear to god, Daichi. If one more person tells me I’m almost there, I will throw something. Possibly this table. Possibly you.”

He only smiled through it, squeezing your hand like he hadn’t just been threatened with airborne furniture.

When the doctor entered, she was all serene smiles and clinical calm, her tone chipper and maddeningly upbeat.

“Well,” she said after a quick check, “good news is you’re making progress. The baby’s definitely settling into position. But you’re still not quite there yet. I’d give it another few days.”

You stared at her like she’d just told you the world had been cancelled.

“More days?” you repeated, your voice a cracked whisper. “As in, plural? Like… multiple?”

The doctor gave a warm little chuckle. “It’s different for everyone, but yes, could be a few more. You’re doing great, though.”

Your jaw dropped. You made a noise that was somewhere between a sob and a scream, your hands clenching the edge of the table like it might steady you.

The doctor handed Daichi a brightly colored handout titled “Natural Ways to Encourage Labor.” It had illustrations of smiling pregnant women doing yoga and eating pineapple.

“Try some of these at home,” she said kindly. “Spicy food, gentle movement, maybe a warm bath. You’re almost there.”

Daichi nodded like the polite, helpful husband he was, tucking the paper into your maternity bag as you stood slowly, moving with the weary determination of someone who had carried life for too damn long.

The walk back to the car was slow and tense. You didn’t speak. You didn’t look at anyone. The receptionist offered a cheery “Good luck!” as you left and you very nearly flipped her off.

When Daichi helped you into the car again and got you buckled in, you exhaled long and hard, the sound more like a groan of existential dread than a sigh.

“I’m going to die pregnant,” you said flatly, head tipping back against the seat as your eyes glazed over. “This is it. This is how it ends for me. Swollen and sweaty in the passenger seat of a Toyota.”

“No, you’re not,” he said gently, lips twitching as he reached over to adjust your seatbelt one last time. “You’re going to give birth soon, and then this will all feel like a weird dream.”

You turned your head just enough to shoot him a dry look. “A weird dream where my hips feel like they’re being sawed in half and I haven’t seen my own feet in two months?”

He chuckled under his breath, brushing your hair out of your face. “I’m just saying, you’re doing amazing.”

“Don’t lie to me,” you snapped, though your voice lacked real venom. “I look like a pufferfish and I cry every time I drop something on the floor because I can’t pick it up anymore.”

“I pick it up for you,” he said, unbothered.

“Yeah, and I still cry!” You groaned louder, tossing your head back again. “I’m like a feral raccoon in maternity leggings. I can’t keep living like this.”

“You’re not a raccoon,” he said with a straight face. “You’re majestic. Fearsome. A hormonal goddess.”

You snorted so hard it startled a hiccup out of you. “Oh my god.”

“And soon,” he added, leaning closer to kiss your temple, “you’ll be holding the baby and none of this will matter.”

You didn’t move. You just stared up at the ceiling.

“Watch me die pregnant,” you said again. “They’ll write it on my tombstone.”

--

By the time you made it home, your mood had not improved. You kicked your shoes off at the door, grumbling as you peeled off your coat and waddled into the kitchen, leaving Daichi to trail behind you, pamphlet in hand and hope still stubbornly etched into his expression.

“Okay,” he said as you slumped down at the kitchen table, head in your hands. “Let’s try some of these. Worst case, they don’t work. Best case? Maybe we’ll get things moving.”

You didn’t respond right away. Just groaned into your palms.

He set the paper down gently in front of you. “It says spicy food might help. We could start there?”

You looked up with bloodshot eyes. “I want something violent. Like pepper-spray levels of spice.”

Daichi raised his eyebrows. “I’ve got extra hot chili ramen packets. You could probably weaponize them.”

“Perfect,” you growled. “Boil ‘em.”

Ten minutes later, you were perched on the couch with a bowl of nuclear noodles while Daichi sat beside you with his own, bravely taking a bite. He lasted all of three seconds before coughing into his fist, eyes watering.

“Oh my god—this hurts,” he rasped.

You, completely unaffected, slurped up another bite. “Nothing. Not even a twinge.”

He blinked at you, face red. “I’m going to need milk. And possibly CPR.”

You sighed and set the bowl aside. “Next idea.”

And so began the ridiculous journey.

You drank herbal teas that smelled like dirt and despair. You choked down thick slices of pineapple while muttering curses under your breath. You did the hip-opening stretches the pamphlet suggested, groaning with effort and telling Daichi that if this didn’t work you were going to shove a yoga ball down the stairs. He helped you do slow laps around the living room, hand on your lower back while you walked in increasingly impatient circles.

You even tried the dreaded castor oil. One teaspoon. Two. Mixed into orange juice so it wouldn’t taste like paint thinner. You gagged, glared, and gagged again. Daichi looked horrified but held the glass steady like he was assisting with a medical emergency.

Hours passed. The sun dipped lower in the sky. You had tried every single item on the pamphlet short of hiring a witch to chant over your uterus. And yet—nothing. No contractions. No discomfort. No sign the baby had any plans of evacuating. Just the same heavy weight in your belly and the constant ache of your ribs.

You threw yourself back onto the couch with a long, miserable sigh, your belly rising and falling like a dramatic mountain of defeat.

“This baby,” you declared, voice scratchy with exhaustion, “is never coming out. This is it. They’ve made a permanent home. They’re going to graduate college still inside me.”

Daichi, kneeling next to the couch, chuckled softly and leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Can you blame them?” he murmured. “You’ve made them a pretty amazing home.”

You blinked at him, half-touched and half-annoyed. “That’s not helpful.”

He grinned and sat back on his heels, picking the pamphlet up again with exaggerated patience. “Well, if they’re not leaving on their own, we’re gonna have to evict them.”

You groaned dramatically. “We’ve tried everything. I’ve eaten enough pineapple to singlehandedly wipe out Hawaii’s exports. I drank that weird tea that tastes like boiled weeds. I took castor oil, Daichi. Castor. Oil. Nothing works.”

He hummed, eyes skimming down the page.

Then he paused.

You watched as his brow arched just slightly.

“…What?” you said slowly.

He cleared his throat. “Well, technically… we haven’t tried everything.”

You narrowed your eyes. “What do you mean?”

He turned the pamphlet toward you and pointed at a single line with a very straight face.

“Intercourse may help induce labor.”

You stared. Then looked at him. Then back at the pamphlet.

Your eyes narrowed, your lips pressing into a line as the wheels in your head began to turn. For a long moment, you didn’t say a word. But something changed—visibly, unmistakably. Your posture shifted. Your breath stilled. Your entire demeanor settled into something focused, determined, just a little bit unhinged.

Daichi saw it immediately. He watched the transformation like someone witnessing a weather shift, like a man who’d seen the sky turn before a storm. His back straightened. His eyes went wide. He held up one hand as if you were a wild animal and he needed to de-escalate the situation.

“Babe—let’s just think this through—”

You sat up slowly. Deliberately. Every movement a signal.

Your voice dropped, calm but commanding, your eyes locked on his.

“…Get upstairs.”

Daichi followed you up the stairs like a man walking toward something both holy and terrifying.

You didn’t speak. Just kept your back straight, your breath steady, your feet deliberate on the steps. Every part of you radiated heat—rage, desperation, need. By the time you reached the bedroom, you were already tugging off your shirt, grumbling under your breath as it got stuck around your chest. You were a force of nature, belly full and breasts heavy, skin flushed with exertion and irritation.

“Help me,” you snapped, voice breathless.

Daichi was at your side in a second, pulling the fabric over your head, his hands lingering for just a second too long on the bare curve of your shoulder. It had been a while since the two of you had made love—between the fatigue, the constant discomfort, and the way your body had become less your own and more a vessel of life, intimacy had taken a quiet backseat. You missed it. Missed him. And he missed you—his touch tentative and reverent, like he was savoring the moment as much as you were. You turned to him, eyes burning.

“This baby is coming out tonight,” you said, voice low and deadly serious. “So get on the bed.”

He hesitated—not because he didn’t want to. He wanted to. God, did he want to. But his eyes kept flicking to your belly, the way it rounded out so full and taut, the faint sheen of sweat already glistening along your collarbone.

“Are you sure?” he asked, hand resting against your waist, careful and reverent. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” you said, grabbing him by the wrist and guiding him toward the mattress. “And if you do, I won’t care. I need this.”

He let out a shaky breath as you pushed him down onto the bed and climbed over him. The tension between you was thick, every inch of skin electric. Months of abstaining made everything heightened—your nerves tingled where his fingers grazed your hips, and his breathing hitched every time you shifted above him. His hands went instinctively to your thighs as you straddled him, palms warm and wide and trembling just slightly.

You leaned down to kiss him, hard and fast, teeth scraping his bottom lip as you ground your hips against his crotch. He gasped, his body already responding beneath you.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pressing his forehead to your shoulder. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Good,” you muttered, dragging your fingers down his chest. “Then we’ll die together.”

He chuckled breathlessly, then hooked his fingers in your waistband, easing your underwear off your hips with slow, reverent care. When he touched you, his fingertips sliding through the wet heat between your thighs, he exhaled like he was in awe.

“You’re soaked,” he whispered, voice tight, eyes dark with restraint.

“I’m ready,” you breathed, rolling your hips into his touch.

He didn’t argue. He pushed his boxers down and kicked them off, his cock thick and flushed against his stomach. He gripped it at the base, ready to guide himself in, but you brushed his hand aside and positioned yourself with shaking thighs.

“Let me,” you murmured.

And then you sank down, slow and deep, the stretch sharp enough to make you gasp. Your hands clutched his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you took him all the way in, inch by aching inch.

Daichi groaned, low and guttural, his head tipping back against the pillows. “Jesus, you’re so tight—fuck—”

You paused, hips resting flush against his, just breathing. The fullness was overwhelming, perfect, exactly what you needed.

When you started to move, it was unhurried. The sensitivity of not having touched like this in weeks made every motion feel magnified—every grind, every squeeze, every brush of skin set fire to your nerves. You both gasped more than once, surprised by how much you'd missed this, missed each other. Deep, rolling thrusts that had you grinding down with every motion, drawing small sounds from your throat as your body adjusted to the rhythm.

Daichi’s hands moved to your waist, holding you steady, thumbs stroking gentle circles along your skin.

“You’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice shaky. “You’re carrying our baby, and you still want me like this?”

“I don’t want you,” you corrected breathlessly. “I need you.”

Your pace picked up, just slightly, each roll of your hips drawing gasps from both of you. The bed creaked under the rhythm, your swollen belly brushing against his chest every time you leaned in to kiss him, desperate and messy and aching.

He slid one hand up to cup your breast, thumbing over your nipple until you arched into him. Your moan was sharp, needy, your body clenching tight around him.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned, fingers tightening on your hip. “You’re so—god, you feel so good.”

You chased the friction, riding him harder, faster, the pressure building between your legs in thick, pulsing waves. He met your thrusts now, his hips lifting off the bed, his face buried against your neck as he groaned into your skin.

When your orgasm hit, it slammed through you like a tidal wave, your body locking up around him as you gasped his name, trembling all over. He held you through it, rocking you gently, murmuring praise into your shoulder until your shudders turned to aftershocks.

Then he flipped you gently onto your back, careful with your belly, bracing himself above you as he drove into you with long, deep strokes, chasing his own edge.

You watched him through hooded eyes, heart racing, mouth parted in a soft, dazed smile. He looked wrecked—sweat-damp hair, flushed cheeks, jaw clenched with restraint as he fucked you slow and deep.

“I’m close,” he warned, voice fraying. 

You cupped his face, nodding, heart still thudding from your own climax. “It’s okay. Come inside me. I want to feel you.”

With a broken sound, he buried himself to the hilt, groaning your name as he came, thick pulses filling you, his body trembling with release. You wrapped your arms around him as he collapsed slowly beside you, one arm still curled protectively across your middle, his breath hot against your shoulder.

Neither of you said anything for a long while. The room was warm and quiet, filled only with the soft sounds of your breathing. His hand smoothed over your belly, the rise and fall of it still unsteady. You were both flushed, glistening with sweat, chests heaving.

You turned your head toward him slightly, letting out a huff of a laugh. “Well… at least I feel better.”

Daichi huffed a laugh, his voice still rough. “Honestly? Same. Not sure if we jumpstarted labor or just obliterated our spines, though.”

You both lay there for a beat longer, catching your breath, limbs tangled, and the faint hum of calm settling over you.

Eventually, you shifted, groaning softly as you sat up on your elbows. “Okay,” you said, voice still breathy, “I should probably clean up—”

And then it happened.

A sudden, warm rush.

You blinked. Froze. Looked down.

“…Oh my god,” you whispered. “Daichi.”

He sat up slowly, still half-lost in the afterglow. “Hmm?”

You stared at the sheets beneath you, soaked through in a way that was definitely not from sex.

“My water broke,” you said, blinking again. The shock in your voice cut through the air.

Daichi’s head snapped toward you.

“My water broke,” you repeated, louder this time, voice rising in panic. “Daichi, my fucking water broke.”

The adrenaline that had left your limbs warm and loose now twisted into pure, electric panic.

He was moving before you could spiral further, sitting up and cupping your face with both hands.

“Hey, hey—look at me,” he said quickly, steadying your breathing with his voice. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

You nodded, dazed, still processing the rush of adrenaline and disbelief. Just moments ago, you had been begging for something to happen—for anything to finally signal the end. And now that it had, now that it was really happening, your heart felt like it might explode with the sheer weight of it. You had wanted this so badly. You had cursed the waiting. And yet now, the second it arrived, you were caught somewhere between terror and awe.

“I wanted this,” you whispered, almost to yourself. “I wanted this to happen.”

Daichi brushed a strand of damp hair away from your face, smiling warmly. “You did. And now it’s happening.”

You exhaled a shaky laugh, voice cracking. “I’m terrified.”

“I know,” he said, cupping your cheek with a hand as steady as his voice. “Me too. But we’re ready. You’re ready.”

You nodded again, tears welling in your eyes, this time from joy—not just from fear or exhaustion. You were going to meet your baby. Tonight. Maybe in just a few hours.

Daichi pressed a kiss to your forehead before swinging his legs off the bed, already grabbing the overnight bag he had packed and repacked a dozen times.

“Let’s go meet our baby,” he said, voice warm and certain.

And this time, you smiled through the chaos. Because it was finally happening—and you weren’t doing it alone.

MY SWEET, BRIGHT EYED LOVERBOY . P. SUNGHOON

sunghoon x gn!reader  -  genre: fluff  -  wc: 1.4k  -  cw: calls reader pretty 2x

note: the way i’ve been wanting to write this ever since i watched his first en log oh my gosh

you’re positively frazzled and a slightly confused as sunghoon swiftly pulls you into a little booth. he slides in effortlessly first, tugging your wrist and effectively causing you to stumble in as his arm shoots out to cheekily position you in his lap.

“wait, hoon, was that planned?” you eye him suspiciously, glancing down at the ample space beside him as sunghoon pretends not to notice while keeping his arm secure around your waist.

“how could you accuse me of such a thing? i’m hurt, y/n,” sunghoon frowns, jutting his bottom lip out in a weak pout, “you not sitting on the bench and instead on my lap means that our photos will have the most optimal turnout, not because of anything else,”

“and how does that work?” you sigh, brushing a stray strand of hair away from sunghoon’s face. your fingers slowly drag down and align with his jaw as you feel his smile begin to form.

“it will because i said so,” sunghoon declares with finality before returning his attention to the photo booth, “anyways, remember what i told you about the last en log i filmed?”

you nod, watching as sunghoon’s eyes tear from yours and place your hands over his as he fiddles with his fingers while still wrapped around yours and buries his head in the crook of yourneck.

“i know i said i wanted to take pictures at a photo booth, but i really wanted to say that i actually wanted to come back and take pictures here with you,”

his voice is soft as he nervously glances up at you, feeling relieved to see a soft smile on your face as you remove your hands from his to cup his cheeks.

“aw, hoon, you charming bastard,” you coo, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he smiles up at you, the hesitation quickly dissipating.

“yeah?” he grins, “i agree with the charming part, but i think i’m pretty handsome and dashing too, don’t you think y/n?”

Keep reading

maybe it’s my hormones?? i’ve been so soft lately .. here’s evidence

warning — pregnancy, reader has feminine pronouns

there are oftentimes a lot of moments chris will keep in his memory hall of fame with you and him, but what he hadn’t anticipated was this moment.

since leaning down over the toilet bowl to gape at the pregnancy test you held reading positive, chris was in love.

as if that was even possible considering how madly he was in love before, now was an entirely new level.

like last week, when he was accompanying you to the grocery store and a man preoccupied by his phone nearly ran into you — causing you to have to stop and spend a whole five minutes to calm your bodyguard down. no less his hand was always on your lower back everywhere you went. something very attractive of him to do.

in current time though you’d finally arrived at the bahng household in australia, greeted by the barking of berry and the rest of his family. this was your second time meeting your husbands family and their warmth was simply infectious with how much they favored you over chris, something everyone laughed about countless times in good fun.

after all the jet-lag and hormones though you couldn’t help but be exhausted, resorting to cozying up on the couch and watching Bluey while chris heated up chili from dinner.

“honey~ i’ve got the super duper hot chili that you wanted~” in a sing-song voice, chris maneuvered out of the kitchen, holding the steaming bowl in one hand and his own snack in the other. yet upon peering over the coach to where you lay comfy, he noticed you weren’t only sleeping, but joined by berry who was now dozed off on top of your round tummy in a protective manner that nearly sent the witness crying.

a heart attack did not give justice to the way he felt. not at all. the sweetness of it all making him simply melt.

“thanks for watching over her berry, i know i can trust you to keep her safe, okay? she means the world to me, i can’t wait for you to meet the new member of our family.” he carefully leans down, face all stretched and smiley prior to abandoning the dishes on the counter.

trust that the man snapped countless photos and videos of the precious moment, and as much as the boys found it cute — they got worried chris would never stop talking about it. like, never.

he didn’t.

all rights reserved by @sunboki. repost and plagiarism will not be tolerated.

i love you the most. sjy

pairing - jealous idol!jake x fem!reader

summary - your boyfriend, jake, gives you the silent treatment and goes onto reply fans on weverse so you try your best to get his attention by spamming on the app as well not knowing why he’s being a big baby at the moment.

genre - pure fluff, nothing serious just playfulness

wc - 1.15k

a/n: it’s literally a dream that i quite had a second ago and i’m writing this as soon as i woke up with my eyes half opened and all .. embarrassing really but i gotta keep the dream as a memory somehow so this is all just word vomit and what i could remember. not proofread. my read more button doesnt work on mobile T_T

cuddling against your boyfriend’s chest in the middle of the living room trying to get comfortable on the leather couch, you watched him scroll through his phone giggling.

curious, you peeked a little and notice the weverse screen that you were familiar with. “would this be a cute reply?”, jake flashed you his bright screen which made you squint a little as you read ‘jakey loves you too’ on the comment box that hasn’t been sent out yet.

“why don’t you ever reply to mine,” you ask sulkingly but also meaning every word you had said because he’s about to begin a mention party on weverse right now while you were both supposedly going to sleep.

jake ignored you and began the chaos that was about to blow his notifications up which made you start a mini tantrum going “aaaahhhhhh”, “whyyy”, and the occasional “jakeyyy” while lightly hitting on his chest to get his attention with him only giggling a little as a response but keeping his straight face a second later.

wanting an answer, you pulled out your own phone to enter the weverse app and joined the engenes in hopes to get the attention of your boyfriend on the internet too.

commenting all sorts of compliments, questions, stories you could ever think of at the moment which could beat the simple 'i love you jake’ from an engene which started this entire thing.

“see, look this is my username”, copying his movement earlier as you shoved your phone directly towards his face. “plus you’ve always known it- its the one that says ’jakeyismypuppy1115’.. i need a reply please please plea- don’t make me snatch your phone right now to do it”, whining even further as you shake his body which was almost falling off the couch if he wasn’t supporting himself.

“jakeyyyyyy~ why won’t you reply to me… i wanna show it off on my fan account on twitter too pleaaaaaswwe im about to off myself if you don’t,” earning another giggle from him however his face remained sterned after a light cough. “it’s not funny,” you tried to be serious, frowning at him.

“i won’t reply to you.” was all he had responded.

“wha.. why..”, pushing yourself further away with your palm pressing on his chest to move yourself up.

jake removed his left arm which was supporting his head to type intensively into the weverse search bar more than ever before. “because what the hell is this,” not thinking much of it, you glanced your eyes to his screen.

it was your profile with the recent post dated a few days ago, apart from this moment’s fiasco of you trying to get jake’s attention online, the post made you cringe a little after realising what it said.

“heeseung-ah, i love you the most ! i hope you eat well, rest well, and is always happy ! i love u sooo much ure my favorite. i’ll always choose you ❤️”

he scrolled down a little more to show that heeseung, who is rarely online, had replied too. “heeseungie loves you too ☺️”.

it took you awhile to process it a little, and it finally hit you that you made the post after watching a youtube compilation of your boyfriend’s co-member which made you all happy inside as a fan and nothing more.

you didn’t expect heeseung to reply to your post either. you were joyful that he did and bragged it on twitter, but it didn’t stuck into your mind forever since you technically forgot it happened. jake’s reply would matter to you more.

on heeseung’s side however, he and all of the other boys knew of your weverse account from how jake would always reply to yours which raised some suspicion and later confirmed when jungwon saw the app left open on your phone with the profile flashing your username.

heeseung found the comment to be sweet and endearing, he loves you like the closest friend who has always been there for his bestfriend and the team even before debut.

your reminiscing thoughts were then killed by jake pouting at you with the post still up in your face.

“jakey.. i didn’t mean tha- wait i did, i think heeseung deserves all the good things in life but i love you the most more than him,” trying to comfort him, not caring about the app hybe created now.

he knew that you only meant well and was happy to know that you were a good person that likes his group as a whole.

jake, still determined with his plan in making you love him more than heeseung, even though you already do, continued sulking and crossing his arms away from you, staring into the silent tv.

you hugged him as tight as the koalas he had seen back in australia and a bunch of apologies + i love yous came running out your cute lips profusely.

your boyfriend wasn’t budging at all which made you even more frustrated, you knew he was just being playful though from the countless of times he tried not to laugh.

giving up, you sat on the couch as he was still laying and proceeded to go over his body and walk to the kitchen in hopes to find heeseung somewhere eating ramen to prove jake that you were both just a couple of besties.

however the area was empty realising that the entire group left the two of you alone for some privacy, and that they would rather be outside than to see any form of pda.

your brain was wired to make milo, an australian chocolate drink, for your boyfriend as another cute form of “please love me and give me attention”.

it was hard to reach the mugs knowing that riki purposely made it higher for laughs and gags. a little more and you’d be able to grab the spider-man mug that belonged to your baby jakey.

like any cliché, a hand made way to your waist as you felt your boyfriend’s body lightly pressed against your back reaching for the cup that you were both eyeing for.

placing the blue spider-man mug in front of you with his right hand on your side fulling back hugging you now as he whispered, “i love you” with his soft lips touching the shell of your ear making you turn your head around from the tickling feeling.

with your body finally facing him, you cupped his cheeks and stared into his sparkly eyes. your thumbs grazing his soft skin and fingers moving his unkept fringe a little from the nap you both had in the afternoon, admiring all of his features before giving him a kiss.

not knowing that your phone was blowing up in the living room from the weverse notifications you were getting.

jakeyismypuppy1115

“i will make it my life’s honor to love you forever, jake.”

a post you made half an hour ago making sure beforehand to make it corny as possible so he would be pleasantly surprised, and of course to make a reaction out of your lovable boyfriend.

[ENHYPEN Weverse] Jake commented on jakeyismypuppy1115’s post: “i love you more ❤️”

a/n: sorry u had to read all of that imo .. but aaa i swear i had a dream abt him bc i was watching his last en-log before bed.. i love u jake

talk to me here! likes & reblogs are appreciated <3

ama namin nasan ang amin (1B)

can i request hyunjin x touch starved reader?

sure you can!! fluff and a pinch of angst. newly established relationship.

You never really had a problem with not being held; with living your life without a hand squeezing your shoulder, or gentle fingers trailing down your spine. You got used to it- to patting your own back and holding your hand in the dark. 

That is until Hyunjin came into your life.

Suddenly your touch was no longer enough. You craved much more- you wanted Hyunjin to wrap himself around you, not letting go until all your years of feeling alone were erased from your memory, one by one. 

But you couldn't tell him this, you were scared he'd find you too intense, too clingy. You've only been dating for two months, yet your yearning for him was overwhelming you already. 

You were afraid that the line between loving him and suffocating him would blur, and that he'd want to leave. So, when he held your hand, you always let go first. And when he went to cradle your face, you quickly moved away. You didn't want to discover what would happen if you didn't. 

But today, all your efforts to keep him at arms length went down the drain.

Hyunjin came over after a week of not seeing you. And as soon as you opened the door, he pulled you in for a bone-crushing hug. His head nestles in the crook of your neck, and you can feel him exhaling in relief, as if a huge weight is lifted off of him. His hand is on the back of your hair, smoothing it down gently. "Missed you," you hear him mumble, his breath tickling your skin, "missed you so much." 

"I missed you too," you smile, pulling away slightly from him, as you usually do, but this time he tightens his hold on you. 

You didn't know how much you needed someone not to let go of you until Hyunjin did it. 

You freeze in your place as he rocks you slowly from left to right, his arms still encircling your waist. His warmth seeps from his body to yours, filling your insides entirely. You feel your eyes well with tears, as you realize that Hyunjin likes touching you. That he finds comfort in it as well- by the way he's relaxing under your hold, his breaths coming out softly now. 

He's never hugged you for this long before, and you choke out a sob as he kisses your neck tenderly. "I missed hugging you," he whispers, pecking your bare skin once again. "I missed you," he repeats, trailing his hands up and down your arm, his shin now resting on your shoulder.

Your arms go limp by your sides as he pulls away from you, a wide smile on his face, only for it to disappear when he notices the tears in your eyes.

 "Baby?" he asks, confusion clearly painted across his pretty features. But then you see fear growing in his eyes, as he takes a step back away from you.

"Did you not want me to hug you? I'm so sorry I should've let go when you tried to pull away. I won't- I won't do it again. Please don't cry, I'm so-" You cut him off with your mouth crashing on his. You couldn't bare seeing the distraught look on his face anymore.

"Thank you for not letting go. I needed that so much," you whisper against his lips, your hands cradling his face gently. 

"Really? Then why were you crying?" he asks doubtfully, his eyes racking through your face for any sign of discomfort. 

"Because no one has ever held me as tightly before." You confess quietly, and Hyunjin's eyes soften at your words, his hand reaching up to rest on your own.

"You promise? I didn't make you uncomfortable?"

"You didn't, I promise you," you smile, wrapping your arms around him to further reassure him. He holds you to him instinctively, his hand rubbing soothing circles across your back.

You both hug each other for a while, standing in the middle of your apartment, the sun rays streaming through your curtains basking you both in a golden glow. 

Hyunjin places his chin on the top of your head, and you further sink into his chest. He smells nice, immensely so, and you try to find a word to describe how you're feeling in this moment. But all the descriptions pale in comparison to the warmth cursing through your veins. 

You imagine that this is what butterflies feel when they finally emerge from their chrysalises. When the first breeze caresses their fluttering wings- a need satiated after a long time of waiting.

"I won't let go if you don't," you giggle, your feet growing tired from standing for so long.

"That's the plan, my love."

"We'll hug here all day then?" you grin, leaning a bit away so you'd be able to look at his face.

"Yes," he beams at you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Doesn't that sound nice?"

"It does," you smile, resting your cheek on his chest once again.