Happy New Year To Me And My Lonely Ass

*/punches the wall

⋅ GENRES: established relationship; fluff

⋅ PAIRING: Jaeyun x fem!reader

⋅ WORD COUNT: 0.8K

⋅ WARNINGS: established relationship with Jake? late nights with him? slow dancing with him?! it’s all valid warnings if you ask me, but the real warnings are mentions of alcohol; slightly suggestive content

Jake wasn’t the type of boyfriend to buy expensive bouquets or take you to fancy restaurants.

No — he was the type of boyfriend to pick flowers on the sidewalk for you and order food past midnight. He placed blankets on the hardwood floor of your living room and made picnics on it. The whispered lyrics of a love song and your laughter being the only furor in the middle of the sleeping city. And when the bowls were empty, and the wine sank in, he was the type of boyfriend to ask you to dance with him.

Barefoot and clumsy, Jake loved to dance with you.

The night had fallen into those silent hours when no one could tell if it was really late or really early. The gentle breeze streaming through the open windows of your living room being the only sound resonating with Jake’s chosen playlist — and his laughter.

You weren’t sure if you had intended to be funny. You knew you were talking about something, trailing a long line of thoughts but you stopped at the sound of him, allowing everything to slip and slide away with a single hitch of breath.

You loved the way Jake laughed. You loved the way he always tilted his head back, his nose wrinkling, and his eyes closing. His whole body always poured his emotions because it was the only way Jake knew how to be — too pure and too intense.

The echoes of his laugh were still on his lips as he straightened himself back to look at you, coming to you with a soft smile. Shafts of golden luminescence reached for him, embellishing his face, turning the dark brown of his eyes into a gentle amber. He was all shades of gold, reflections of the city lights and the dim flames of the candles you had lit some moment at the beginning of the night.

Jake took your hand in his, thumb caressing the inside of your wrist before he brought it to his lips and kissed it. The overwhelming affection of the gesture caused your heart to beat a little faster, and although you could see the tip of his ears turning a bit rosy, Jake smirked against your skin.

“Dance with me?” he whispered.

It was a rite, even though you both knew you would never deny him, Jake always waited, and only when you nodded at him, he curled his fingers on yours, bringing you up and closer to him.

One of his hands found the small of your back, and your whole body hummed. It wasn’t anything new. Jake had explored your body far more than anyone ever could, but still, there was something so overwhelming about being touched by him — about being loved by him.

Your bare feet made no sound as he suddenly spun you through the hardwood floor, the button shirt you had stolen from him swirling dangerously around your thighs until he decided to bring you back to him.

You pulled your arms around his shoulders, and Jake laughed once again. It was your favorite standing and he knew it. He embraced your waist with his both arms, lending in just enough for you to hide your face under his chin.

Jake smelled like honeysuckle, like oranges and citrus groves in the sun. He was a piece of summer no other season could ever take away and you longed for his warmth.

“I like this song,” he said. It sounded like a statement to nobody, but then, he placed his lips against your ear, and the lyrics threaded through your hair as if the only thing he ever wanted was for you to know it.

It was nothing extravagant, his voice came a bit low and timid, but it spread a warm feeling through your chest.

“It took your love to make my heart come alive,” Jake sang. “Cause’ I lived my life believing all love is blind.”

“But everything about you is telling me this time it’s forever, this time I know and there’s no doubt in my mind.”

Your fingers curled on the hair at his nape, and Jake shivered beneath your touch, the soft rustle of his breath hitching against your ear before he failed to sing the next lyrics, but he didn’t need to — you already knew them.

You always knew them.

Forever, until my life is through. Girl, I’ll be loving you forever.

The romantic chords kept going, but Jake stopped, drawing back just enough for his eyes to search yours. It was adorable the way he smiled, boyish and eyes glittering in the low light. A mischief that matched the way he kissed you.

Jake wasn’t the type of boyfriend to buy expensive bouquets or take you to fancy restaurants.

No — he was the type of boyfriend to pick flowers on the sidewalk for you and order food past midnight. He danced with you, barefoot and clumsy, in the middle of your living room, and this was how you had found forever.

I'm so touch deprived bye

ଓ — vanilla scented candles.

heeseung's thoughts of you poison him in a calm night — and what used to be innocent now it's gone with the lights.

pairing. l.hs x gn¡reader | word count. 750 words | genre. can it be a fluff? idk | warnings. slightly suggestive but nothing too much, trust me okay?

That day, everything seemed to be softer and more innocent.

Your boyfriend had spent the night telling you his strange life stories, which were indeed very interesting, but the hours passed quickly in the meantime.

Heeseung felt a little bored because he didn't want to sleep when you said it was time for bed. In order to keep chatting and make sure you don't leave him, he even dramatically pulled you into bed — but you found your way to escape from him.

You look at his pouted lips and laugh at it before starting to light your scented vanilla candles. Since Heeseung has such a sensitive sense of smell, maybe that scent would captivate him — you thought.

And there wasn't anything relevant in his thoughts, but the wildness flashed in his eyes when you started to take off your clothes.

He was sitting on the corner of your bed, observing you distantly. Only your back was visible to him, but it was enough for him to be impressed by the vision. He looked over your body as though he were deceptively swallowing you, wishing he was the one undressing you.

He was that dirty for it.

You make his salivate. You make him sweat from all his desire to have you...

... from all the crazy things he imagine.

He would think about putting you on the ground, in the sea, on the moon, in the melody. His mind travelling through every chance of having you...

And just from those thoughts, he knew you were going to kill him someday with your spell.

You put your pajamas on before joining Heeseung, also sitting on the bed and staring at him, which inevitably caused him some shyness.

He opened a small smile, looking slightly to the side before asking you, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You just convinced yourself, by his body language, that he definitely had you on his mind now, “I know you want me.”

He wasn't impressed by your attitude, but he was curious, not talking afterward, just waiting to see what your next step would be.

You smiled lightly as you felt his silence, realizing he was trying to look difficult. “I wonder how much it is hard to control yourself when I'm right here in front of you — just waiting for you.”

Heeseung got up quickly, getting closer to you, placing his left hand on your thigh, and with the other, using his fingers to tuck your hair behind your ear.

He looked at your eyes, then looked at your lips, then looked at your eyes again... “I don't want to make my baby wait,” he murmured.

You took a deep breath and even attempted to look down, but he lifted your chin and put his lips on yours, giving you a passionate kiss. Simply because he could have you, he would offer you his best.

He's a soft toucher, pure at heart but with a way too open mind. Most of the time, he was on hand to listen to you recite poetry, and to be honest, he got so into it. Your voice let him be at ease. He wants to listen to you all night and understand every word, every gesture, every action and taste.

Making you fall in love with him a second, third, or fourth time is his favorite idea. Tripping you up, making you wonder if you're still in your own body — or just became a part of him.

“Will you be mine forever?” he queries.

You respond, “always forever, baby.”

Heeseung got out of bed and blew out the candles one by one so the light wouldn't bother your eyes and you could sleep peacefully. After a short while, he turned back to you and buried his face in your neck, letting you feel his breath tickle. He continued doing it in an effort to make you laugh.

“Stop it!” you begged, and he did so.

Then Heeseung suddenly put a kiss on your temple. "I love you, every part of you. Even the parts you don't like,” as he said.

“I love you too,” you said back. “I hope I see you in my dreams.”

You mumbled before closing your eyes, slowly falling asleep, just as he did too.

a/n: ah you know... i'm kinda dramatic

© badmuni 2022

lesson 7 with Jungwon

pairing: bf!Jungwon x gn!reader

genre: slice-of-life, fluff, and little bit of angst // warnings: mentions of feeling bad (not in-depth) and nothing else!

summary: You can still enjoy your youth, no matter how old you are with Jungwon // word count: ~300

note: seventh part to my lil series & enjoy!  if you’d liked to be on my taglist send an ask, dm, or fill out this form

Having to grow up fast at a young age makes enjoying youth seem quite dreadful or not possible. However, you’ve also come to learn that enjoying your youth while you still have it is important too.

Being around someone like Jungwon brings that out in you. In fact, he feels as if he can act like a child around you too. It’s not everyday you manage to find someone that unlocks that side of you. It’s kind of healing in a way for the both of you. Planning dates to attend amusement parks or visiting places you couldn’t go to back then. “Come on Wonnie, this line is shorter and we can come back to this one later!” Dragging his hand with yours and trailing behind you is a smiling Jungwon.

Keep reading

✶ৎ SMARTER BABY

📄 ────𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖺’𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗉𝗌 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝖾

2024 pairing. poly!ot7엔하 x fem!member oc cw. suggestive themes, profanity, mentions of alcohol, making out; hyung line-centric req. mila dancing to lsrfm ‘smart’ & engenes/enha reaction ❨ BACK to LIBRARY ?! ❩

“YOU LOOK PRETTY.” Riki wrapped his hands around Mila’s waist form behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he watched her apply lip gloss in the mirror. “What’s the occasion?”

Mila was usually the type to dress up, but today it seemed she put a bit more effort into her appearance than usual — not that he was complaining.

She wore a cropped long-sleeve wrap top that showed off the curve of her waist where his large hands rested on her bare skin, just above a chain that hung loosely her like a belt and was decorated by several charms that chimed whenever she moved. She wore a matching white wrap skirt with layers of chiffon that were arranged like flower petals around her waist and a pair of white platform sandals that would make the shorter members of the group cry with the added boost it gave to her already impressive height.

It just so happened that when she got back from he schedules for the day, Mila had been invited to film a challenge for Le Sserafim’s new song, ‘Smart’. “You would actually eat this up, not gonna lie,” was the exactly phrasing Yunjin had used— which, to be perfectly honest, Mila wouldn’t argue with.

So of course Mila had accepted the request, because what else was she supposed to do? Besides, she had already wanted to do one in the first place: the song was constantly on her mind from the moment it released, and had her wishing that she was able to do a similar concept in the future.

“I’m going to film a challenge today with the girls,” Mila replied to Riki’s question. She looked at Riki after applying her lip gloss, their noses brushing against each other. “How does this look? It’s a new one.”

Riki’s eyes flickered down to her lips, a deep hum reverberating in his chest. He leant down and stole a kiss from her sweet lips. Mila gasped before slapping the young man in the chest, causing his chuckled to bounce off the bathroom walls with her giggles. As Riki leaned away from her hand trying to clean the lip gloss from his mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows as he swiped his tongue across his plump lower lip.

“Oh- strawberries?” he muttered in fascination.

Mila laughed at the younger’s expression. “That’s not edible, you idiot. Don’t go eating it while I’m gone.”

“Gone where?” Mila and Riki turned to see Jungwon standing at the door of the bathroom, his arms over his chest as he looked between the two. If Mila had looked, she would have noticed the way the younger male’s eyes raked over her appreciated, taking in the way her clothes perfectly complimented her figure.

“A challenge,” Mila said. “It was last minute, but Le Sserafim wanted to do one for their new song.”

She gently patted Riki’s hands, signalling for him to let go. Jungwon tilted his head as he and Riki followed the girl like lost puppies when she ventured into the kitchen, grabbing her handbag from the table. They had been so eager when their eldest noona had gone to her boyfriend’s dorms and their hyungs (save Sunoo, who was currently with one of his many non-idol friends) decided spend the night out drinking, thinking that it meant more time to spend for them to spend with Mila. But apparently, that was too much to ask of their workaholic girlfriend.

“What song are you doing?” Jungwon asked. He pulled Mila to him by the hips, lips jutted in a small pout as he rubbed his thumb against the home of the skirt, only to blink in surprise when it got caught in her waist chain. His breath caught in his chest as he slipped his finger away from the cold metal, letting it fall back onto the soft skin of Mila’s stomach. “This looks nice on you…”

Jungwon’s thumb traced a light path over the chain, smirking when he observed the slightest flex in the muscles of her abdomen. “Thanks,” Mila whispered.

Riki, not one to be forgotten, quickly, stepped behind Mila and took a seat on the chair behind her. In one swift tug, he brought the girl down on his lap. He hugged her closely with his chest against her back and his arms wrapped around her.

“I think I can guess the song,” he whispered as he placed a chaste kiss on her neck. He smiled cheekily as he slipped a finger under the chain around her waist and playfully tugged on it, evoking the childlike imagery of a young boy who would pull a girl’s pigtails to get her attention. “This doesn’t look like something you’d wear for ‘Easy’.”

Mila smiled at the youngest’s astute observation. It was hard to imagine the girl wearing such feminine clothing for a hip hop choreography. “You’re right. I’m doing ‘Smart.’”

Mila couldn’t help but be amused at the frown on Jungwon’s face as he took a hold of her hand. He gave it a light squeeze when she asked what was wrong. “Just try not to make it too sexy,” he said sulkily, “we already have too many Engenes trying to steal you away.”

“Awww, don’t worry. They’d have to get your permission first.” Mila cooed as she cupped the boy’s face and brought it down for a kiss on the lips. Mila turned to give Riki a kiss, leaving sugary lipstick marks on both of their lips as a reminder of her affections. “I have to go soon, but don’t miss me too much! Once I get back, we can cuddle and watch movies, promise.”

The two maknaes agreed (albeit sulkily) to let their girlfriend go for the night, watching as she walked away in her cute little outfit, her long legs carrying her away faster than they could turn to each other and think, The hyungs are going to go crazy.

THEY DID INDEED GO CRAZY. They were on their second button of soju when Sunghoon had pulled out his phone to check a notification he had received, only to end up freezing completely when he had clicked on it. The last thing he expected was to be directed to a video of Mila swaying her hips sensually in a miniskirt and waist chain like some sort of hypnotic effect pendulum meant to put viewers under a spell.

“What the fuck?” Sunghoon muttered under his breath, unable to tear his eyes off the screen of his phone— because damn it, why was she looking like that?

“What is it?” Jake asked, leaning over his best friend’s shoulder. The Australian male almost fell off his chair when he saw what was on Sunghoon’s screen. Jake cursed as he spilled his drink over his lap, reaching for tissues to dry the damp soaked his jeans over his thigh. “Shit!”

“What even?” Jay asked as he watched the man, both he and Heeseung having been distracted from their conversation because of Jake’s outburst. That’s when they noticed what was happening.

Sunghoon was holding his phone so close to his face it might as well be glued there. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration only made the two eldest males look at each other in confusion. Jay leaned forward, trying to peek at the younger male’s screen. “What are you doing?”

Sunghoon showed them the screen with a blank expression, as if saying, Look. We leave her alone for five seconds and she pulls this shit.

And like Sunghoon, the two eldest male’s had a similar initial reaction of complete silence.

Her tongue peeked out from between her plump, glossy lips and her eyes held a sultry look in them as she trailed the movement of her own hips while she turned her back to the camera. She bundled the long strands of her hair in her hands and lifted it to reveal the expanse of her back and shoulders, that damned red tattoo inked on the back of her neck.

And where did they even get started on the way her skirt (despite not being nearly as short as the stuff her stylists put her in) managed to draw attention to the curve of her ass, beset by the pinch of her waist in a way that made it impossible to look away, especially with how her hips were moving to the song.

For a while, it was completely silent and all of the completely still. But when a pair of college students in the booth next to the boys had looked over and managed to throw a not-so-discrete appreciative glance of the video on Sunghoon’s phone, the Ice Prince hastily shut it off and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. He took his glass of soju and emptied it in a single shot, throwing his head back with the aggressiveness of which he tipped the alcohol into his mouth.

“I’ll be back,” he said, before walking towards the exit of the restaurant like a man on a mission.

“What even?” Jay turned to watch the younger man leave. “Where are you going?”

Jake eyed his best friend for a moment. He quickly excused himself to go bathroom while Jay and Heeseung were distracted by Sunghoon’s sudden exit. Then he grabbed his phone from his pocket, his fingers typing a quick message after locating Mila’s phone contact.

You: i saw your new tiktok by the way

You: how come i didn’t get a warning?

Jake bit back a smile at his girlfriend’s reply.

Baby ❤️: surprise 😘

Jake almost fell off his chair when a Weverse notification followed her text, and he opened it to find a selfie of Mila in the outfit she wore during the TikTok. It was shot at a high angle and featured a very intentional focus on the low cut of her satin top, which dipped to reveal the slightest bit of cleavage and the tattoo that trail of stars tattooed from her left shoulder to her upper left breast. The caption: ‘Hope you like my gift~’

Fuck, Jake thought as he downed another drink. His girl was going to be the end of him.

From across the table, Jay looked over Heeseung’s shoulder while the latter scrolled through the comments of the TikTok, thinking the exact same thing.

user1. HELLO?? MILANA?? BAI MINGLU?? 😭

user2. okay but why did mila have to go so hard on this

user3. GYAAATT DAYUM

user4. mila rlly be risking hip replacement surgery with those moves and i’m here for it 🙌🙌

Heeseung laughed at the last comment. He wouldn’t be lying if he hadn’t thought about just physically impossible it seemed that Mila could move the way that she did — especially when it came to her hip movements — and he got to see her dance almost everyday. He closed the comments to focus back on the video, eyes drinking in every detail and every movement.

“I’m smarter, baby, smarter~” Heeseung’s eyes drifted for he chain around her waist, watching the charms as they moved with ever sway of her hips, the way her skirt would accentuate her movements and lengthen her legs. There were two other girls in the frame with her — Kazuha and Yunjin — and yet his eyes remained on her the entire time. It was like the song was made for her, and yet she wasn’t even part of the group who sang it.

As Heeseung continue to smile down at his phone with pride and adoration, Jay turned his focus to his own phone, waiting the reply to the text he had sent Mila a few seconds ago.

You: make sure you get home safely ❤️

The reply came sooner than he would have thought.

천사  ❨ angel ❩ : is that all? nothing else? ☹️

Jay chuckled at her obvious attempt to coax praise from him.

You: get home safely first and then i’ll tell you anything you want

천사  ❨ angel ❩ : okay 💔

천사  ❨ angel ❩ : then i’ll rush home as soon as i’m finished here 💨

천사  ❨ angel ❩ : safely ofc

Jay smiled.

You: good girl ❤️

At that moment, Sunghoon appeared again, taking his seat next to Jake. Upon close inspection, one would notice the slight frown on his lips as he filled his glass again, silently speaking of what occurred while he was outside.

Sunghoon wasn’t going to admit that he had sulked about his girlfriend not inviting him to a private rehearsal of the ‘Smart’ choreography.

But, well, his members knew him well enough to infer that was what happened.

MILA KNEW HER BOYFRIENDS enough to know that by the time she got home, she was in for a mixture of sulking, praise and every other thing that lay in between those things. She had her phone to her ear as she unlocked the apartment, smiling as she spoke to Sunoo on the other end of the line, as the boy was yet to arrive home from his outing with his friends.

“You could have given us a warning before you sprung that on us,” Sunoo said. “I wasn’t mentally prepared.”

“Well, I didn’t know I was doing it either until a few hours ago.”

Sunoo laughed, followed by the sound of a car door opening. “What did I do to get such a sexy girlfriend? I think your hips are going to be the only thing in my mind for the next three days. You need to let me breathe before you pull something else like that again.”

Mila hummed. “I was thinking of doing an encore performance though,” she teased. “Maybe I should cover Yunjin-eonnie’s part on the floor?”

“Byeol-ah,” Sunoo said in a serious tone, causing Mila to pause on the middle of taking off her shoes. But his next words immediately erased any worry she might have had that something was wrong. “If you get on your knees in front of a camera, don’t expect the hyungs to be able to control themselves.”

Mila burst out into laughter. “And what about you? Are you included with the ‘hyungs’?”

There was a small silence before Sunoo replied, “You know I’d last longer than any of them.”

There was a sly undertone in Sunoo’s remark, as if he were both pointing out a known fact as well as proving a point. Mila’s face heated up at the suggestion — and yet, she couldn’t find it in her to deny it. Sunoo may not be as eager to show off as the others, but that didn’t mean he had nothing to show off if he wanted to… And, well, Mila would admit Sunoo was not as easy to drive insane as her other boyfriends were.

Speaking of the devil, Mila thought amusedly, when Heeseung appeared in front of her, arms wide for a hug. Mila laughed as she wrapped her arms around his middle, letting him hug her tightly to his chest and rocking their bodies back and forth. It was clear that he wasn’t fully sober. But Mila simply let him be, allowing the older to shower her in face with aggressive kisses and giggling when he bit her cheek.

“Mila is home,” Jay announced as he walked over to the duo, eyes warm with mirth as he looked Mila up and down. “You’re back now?”

Mila nodded. “Safely,” she said, reiterating their conversation through text earlier on. Jay smiled and stroked the top of her head.

“Good job today, you were perfect.”

Mila chirped a thank you in response, basking in the older male’s praises. At that moment, Sunghoon and Jake appeared from inside the shared bedroom of Sunoo, Sunghoon, Riki and Jungwon. Heeseung pulled away from Mila, allowing her to be swept away by Sunghoon who wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and and pulled her to his chest.

The front door to the dorm opened, indicating that Sunoo finally arrived form his own outing. The two eldest members dismissed themselves to greet the younger male, leaving Mila with Sunghoon and Jake.

“Finally,” he mumbled as he rested his cheek against hers. “Your TikTok filming took forever.”

Jake reached out to her waist, his eyes trained on the chain around her waist much like Jungwon had before Mila left. He didn’t say anything, simply admiring her while Sunghoon clung to her, seeking her affection. Mila giggled and kissed him on the lips. She only intended it to last for a second, but Sunghoon cupped her jaw, turning her head to him to grant him better access to her lips.

He swiped his tongue across her bottom lip, causing Mila to emit a small whine when he nibbled on the soft flesh with the point of his canine fangs. Sunghoon chuckled, before pulling back, unable to contain his amusement at her reactions.

“What was that for?” she protested. She looked at Heeseung. “Oppa, he bit me. Look.”

Heeseung chuckled. “Where? Let me see.” He tilted her chin up, his thumb brushing against her plush lower lip which jutted out as she pouted. Meanwhile, Sunghoon scoffed, lightly knocking away Heeseung’s hand. It just so happened that the door to the dorm opened, signalling Sunoo’s return from his outing.

“Oh, he’s back,” Sunghoon said. “I’m going to see if he bought the thing I asked from him.”

“Anyway,” Jay said with a smile, “Sunoo’s back now. Why don’t you get changed so we can watch a move together like you mentioned before? I’ll go get the movie set up.”

Heeseung followed him. “I’ll come with you.”

“Okay, then I’ll go get changed,” Mila said.”

Jake suddenly snapped out of his reverie, as if someone slapped him in the face. “Oh— wait a second… Why not wear it for a little longer? And you know… maybe even show us the dance again.”

Jake’s words caused Mila to burst out laughing. She playfully pushed him by the shoulder, but he chuckled his hand gripping her by the waist and pulling her with him as he staggered backwards.

“What?” Jake asked with a pout. “Don’t you love us anymore? Your poor boyfriends want to see you dance, is that too much to ask for?”

Mila rolled her eyes, pushing the male down onto the couch. “I doubt dancing is the only thing you want to see.” Mila smiled as she took a seat on Jake’s lap, her arms around his neck. She smiled sultry as she leaned into his ear, her lips brushing against his earlobe. “See if you can leave the movie early. I’ll show you then.”

Jake was almost embarrassed at how quickly he agreed. But then again, who was he to refuse? He had to play it smart.

BONUS SCENE. ‘WORK HARD IN SECRET’

“I’m smarter baby, smarter. Smarter baby, smarter.” Mila sang softly as she walked to her room, taking her earrings off along the way. She couldn’t wait to get changed into her pyjamas and cuddle with her boyfriends. She opened the door, only to jump in surprise when she saw Jungwon lying on her bed.

Mila laughed. “You scared me.” She walked to the bed and placed her earrings on the bedside table. “What are you doing in here? I thought you and Riki went to buy ice cream.”

They had texted her just as she was nearing the house that they went on a walk together, so she hadn’t expected to find Jungwon waiting for her inside her room. “We got back not long before you. Ni-ki went to shower and the hyungs were too loud so I decided to hide here until you got back.”

Mila hummed, not suspecting anything of the younger boy’s explanation. But she didn’t know the full story behind why Jungwon was here: in truth, since watching her TikTok challenge for ‘Smart,’ he already had a feeling that one of the hyungs would steal her away for the night. So naturally, he decided to get to her first, so that they could have alone time together.

But that was neither here nor there.

Jungwon sat up on Mila’s bed, watching as she removed the bracelet from her wrist. She began to reach for the clasp of their waist chain, only to be stopped by Jungwon’s hand reaching out to grasp hers. The girl raised a questioning brow as Jungwon pulled her towards him.

“Leave it on,” Jungwon said. He smiled as he pulled her in between his legs, his hands resting on her waist where the chain lay. “I like how it looks on you.”

Mila smiled, leaning towards him, so that her hands rested on his neck. They then smoothed their way down the breadth of his shoulders, reminding her of just how broad they were. “Yeah?”

Jungwon hummed deeply. “Especially when you were dancing.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, dark eyes taking in the sight of Mila before him. He was reminded of the way she moved when she danced, hips swaying rhythmically and effortlessly. His hands tightened around her waist, thumbs seeking the coolness of her chain. Mila smiled, endeared by his expressiveness. She leant down to place a soft kiss on his lips with the full intention of making it short and sweet.

But she was taken off guard when he suddenly hooked his hands behind her thighs and tugged her down on to his lap so that she straddled his waist, her skirt hiking up to expose more of her thighs and their bare skin to his touch. But despite her surprise, she didn’t fight him. Nor did she want to.

Mila could only surrender to the strength of his hold on her, knowing well she wouldn’t be able to escape — not that she wanted to anyway. She fully welcomed the possessive touch of his mouth as it devoured hers, lips locked in a passionate exchange of strawberry lip gloss and traces of vanilla ice cream.

Jungwon hummed when Mila’s nails scratched against his scalp and her slender fingers dragged their way through his hair, bringing his mouth closer to hers. At the same time, he pulled her even closer than before, his fingers massaging their way up her soft thighs and beneath her skirt, until the palms of his hand rested just underneath the curve of her ass.

He kept his hands there, using them to press Mila even closer against him, her soft breaths pressed against his firm chest and soft thighs bracketing both of his own. The only barrier between them was their clothes. As his tongue swiped across her fleshy pout, licking the taste of strawberries clean from her lip, she mewled softly against his mouth, melting against him completely.

And later, when Mila left her room with a pair of swollen lips and a poorly hidden hickey, Jungwon’s hyungs were left wondering when their baby leader became such a cunning feline.

Perhaps, they thought, he was the real smart one here.

NOTE jokes on the hyung line, they got upstaged by one of their maknaes 🥴 but srsly jungwon is drelt becoming such a problem - like he turned 20 and chose violence… that man needs to stop 🫠 on another note it’s my first time writing smth this spicy for him since he became an adult last year, funny it took me this long to even write about him making out with know touching and stuff 😆

TAGLIST. @em1ejiee @menichoi

forever and always — sjy & psh

bf!jake x yn x bf!sunghoon

warnings: established poly relationships (jake yn and hoon), pet names, kisses, lowcase written

synopsis: you might just realise how your boyfriend are going to be your forever and always and love you even more for your clingy side.

wc: 1.6k

a/n: if you know me then you know this was bound to happen. literally down bad for jakehoon and would legit be the perfect house wife for them both 🙏🏻 feedbacks are appreciated 🙂‍↕️ this was also inspired by a tiktok but i can’t find it anymore so yes well credit to them for inspiring me so badly for jakehoon fluff 🥹

sigh.

and sigh.

and sigh again.

as you sigh dramatically for the hundredth time, you nuzzle closer to jake, who’s giving you a mix of exasperation and amusement. you know he secretly enjoys it, even though he's acting all serious right now.

“yn, i swear to god,” jake mutters under his breath, trying to maintain his composure but failing. his eyes flicker with a hint of fondness that he can’t hide. “you’ve been doing this all morning. what’s going on?”

you pout, your hand reaching for his, intertwining your fingers as you snuggle into his side. “i need attention. and you’re not giving it to me,” you say in a slightly whiny tone, the words dripping with playful dramatics.

it’s jake’s turn to sigh this time, though it’s more out of defeat than annoyance. “i’m literally right next to you,” he grumbles, trying to seem unbothered, but his thumb starts tracing circles on the back of your hand.

“but where’s the fun in that?” you reply, eyes widening innocently as you look up at him. “i want you to pamper me.”

at that exact moment, sunghoon walks into the room, fresh from the shower, a towel lazily hanging from his neck as he shakes out his wet hair. his eyebrows raise as he observes the scene — you clinging to jake like a baby koala. “what’s all this about?” he asks, a teasing lilt in his voice as he notices your clinginess.

“yn in one of their moods,” jake says, rolling his eyes but smiling softly.

“mood?” you huff, now turning to sunghoon, your pout deepening as you shift away from Jake and towards him. “i’m just asking for a little love and attention! is that too much to ask?”

sunghoon chuckles, crouching down in front of the couch, his hand finding its way to your cheek, gently caressing it.

“a little love and attention, huh?” he repeats, his voice soft yet teasing. his eyes hold the same warmth that jake’s do, even if they’re both pretending to be put out by your antics.

you nod vigorously. “yes! both of you have been ignoring me all morning.”

jake snorts at that. “ignoring you? you’ve been between us the entire time of the night, and the day before and so on.”

“exactly,” sunghoon adds, now leaning closer, his lips brushing your forehead in a gentle kiss. “we’ve been right here.”

you let out another exaggerated sigh, though this one is more playful than frustrated. “it’s not enough. i need more,” you declare dramatically, your arms wrapping around sunghoon’s neck as you pull him into an embrace, leaning back into the couch cushions with him in your arms.

jake, seeing this, sighs as well and shifts closer to you on the other side. “you’re so clingy today,” he mutters, but there’s no bite in his tone. in fact, he sounds almost… happy.

and you know the truth — they secretly love when you’re like this. they’d never admit it outright, but the way jake’s hand sneaks around your waist to pull you back into him, and the way sunghoon’s arms tighten around your frame, tells you all you need to know.

you feel their warmth enveloping you, and for a moment, you bask in the quiet intimacy of it all. their steady breathing, the subtle beat of their hearts against you, it makes you feel safe — like you’re exactly where you belong.

“i know you guys secretly like it when i’m clingy,” you mumble, half into sunghoon’s chest and half into Jake’s shoulder.

jake huffs, his hand now rubbing soothing circles on your back. “you’re impossible.”

sunghoon laughs softly. “but we wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says quietly, pressing another kiss to your temple.

you smile, feeling the love from both of them surround you, the gentle touches, the warmth, and the way they’re both here, right where you need them.

“love you both,” you murmur contentedly.

jake presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. “we love you too, clinginess and all.”

sunghoon hums in agreement, his hand gently brushing through your hair. “always.”

you shift slightly in between your two boyfriends, the warmth of their bodies making you feel all soft inside. jake’s fingers continue to trail lazily along your back, and sunghoon is still playing with your hair, a quiet hum vibrating in his chest.

"so, what you're saying you need more attention, huh?" jake says, his voice dropping just a little as he tilts his head down, catching your eye. he has that playful smirk on his face that you know too well — the one that always makes your heart skip a beat.

you narrow your eyes at him, catching on to his teasing. "yes, exactly. i don't think you're giving me enough." you stick your tongue out a little, leaning more into sunghoon’s chest.

sunghoon chuckles, his hand moving from your hair to your waist, holding you a little tighter. "you sure about that? because it kinda looks like you're being spoiled right now." his voice is smooth, almost a whisper, and it sends a shiver down your spine, though his tone remains lighthearted.

“hmmm” you hum thoughtfully, biting your lip in a mock-thoughtful way. “spoiled? i think we can do better.”

"oh, is that right?" jake leans down even closer, his breath brushing your ear now, sending a tiny spark through you. his tone has a teasing edge as he adds, "maybe we should really show you what spoiled feels like."

you laugh, but it's nervous — playful nervous. "what are you guys planning?" you squirm slightly, trying to keep your cool, but the closeness of both of them has you feeling all warm and giddy inside.

"nothing." sunghoon’s voice is too innocent as he shifts, his lips brushing your cheek now. "unless you're asking for it."

you playfully push at sunghoon’s chest, giggling as jake nuzzles into the crook of your neck. "you two are so-" you start, but you're cut off by a soft kiss being pressed to your temple, this time from jake.

"what?" jake murmurs against your skin, a smile in his voice. “loving? affectionate?”

“clingy,” you tease, laughing when sunghoon pinches your waist gently.

“clingy?” sunghoon repeats, raising an eyebrow. “that’s rich, coming from you, love.”

you scrunch your nose, knowing you're definitely being the clingiest one right now, but also secretly loving how they're both so wrapped up in you.

“okay, okay, fine. maybe i’m being a little clingy today,” you admit, your voice softening as you look between them. “but i like it when we're like this.”

jake’s teasing smirk melts into something softer as he rests his chin on your shoulder, his lips brushing against your collarbone in the faintest kiss. "we like it too," he says, his voice lower but still full of affection.

sunghoon’s hand traces a slow path up and down your side as he leans in to press another kiss, this time to your forehead. "we always like it when you're close," he whispers.

a blush creeps up your neck as your heart flutters, feeling the intensity of their closeness but also the overwhelming sense of love in the moment. it’s not just about flirting or teasing - it's the connection, the warmth, the comfort they bring you.

you could spend the rest of the day tangled up between them like this, and it just wouldn't be enough.

you let out a soft, contented sigh, your heart swelling as you snuggle even closer. "you two are such softies," you mumble, trying to hide your smile as you close your eyes.

jake chuckles, his voice rumbling against your skin. "only for you."

"and only always," sunghoon adds, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

you smile at their words, feeling loved in every possible way. and even though they were teasing you just a minute ago, you know they're serious. they’d spoil you, hold you, love you forever if you asked them to.

"guess i’ll just have to keep being clingy then," you say softly, opening your eyes just enough to see the way they both look at you — like you're their whole world.

jake’s lips quirk into a grin, and he leans in, his voice dropping just enough to make your heart flutter again. "we wouldn't want it any other way."

sunghoon hums in agreement, leaning in closer to plant one more soft kiss on your lips. “never.”

yoy smile, feeling warmth bloom in your chest as you snuggle closer to both of them. “good,” you whisper, pretending to be dramatic again. “because i’m not going anywhere. you’re stuck with me forever.”

jake chuckles, tightening his arms around you as he presses his forehead against yours. “forever sounds perfect.”

sunghoon grins, leaning his head on your shoulder. “you say that like it’s a threat, but we’re definitely winning here.”

you smirk, eyes still closed. “you sure? i’m a lot to handle.”

jake snorts. “please, you’re nothing compared to sunghoon’s weird obsession with collecting skincare samples.”

sunghoon gasps dramatically, pulling away just enough to look offended. “excuse me? my skin is flawless, thank you very much. you could learn a thing or two.”

you laugh, the warmth in your chest growing as their playful banter surrounds you, making you feel even more cherished. "fine, you two can keep bickering while i just enjoy all this attention."

jake grins, ruffling your hair with a soft chuckle. "our clingy queen deserves nothing less, and we’re at your service."

sunghoon leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "forever at your service," he adds with a teasing smile.

you sigh contentedly, snuggling into both of them as you murmur, “forever sounds perfect.”

readinv this with 143 notes OKAY GOT ME CRYIBG

a/n: a little thing i scrapped from a fic i'm writing for my baby star @forlix :) i love you. i choose you. <333

“lix?” you ask, tentativeness lining the single syllable like even your voice knew that what you were about to say was a little silly. “why did you choose me?”

“what do you mean?” he hums, his fingers faltering on his keyboard as he tries to split his attention between you and the colorful pixels on the screen. 

“like, why me? you could have had anyone you wanted,” you bite your tongue, not quite understanding why these words were coming out here and now. 

“what do you mean.” he repeats, more of a statement than a question now, like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. he turns around completely, facing you and letting his character die a tragic death on the screen behind him. “are you serious?”

“i- no?” you sigh, not quite meeting his eyes. “yes. kind of? i don’t know.”

“y/n,” he rolls his chair close to you until your knees were touching, and he takes your hands in his, stopping you from wringing your fingers together. “it wasn’t a choice, you know that right? the stars brought us together, you’re mine in every way that i am yours.”

“right but,” you start, feeling grateful when he squeezes your hands in a silent go on, i’m here to listen. “if you could make that choice. if you didn’t want what the universe chose for you. then what?”

“if it was a choice to make, i would choose you every single time,” he slides off the chair, falling to his knees in front of you. “in every universe, in every reality, in every single world that exists, i choose you. over and over.”

“yes, but why?” and that is the root of it all - it was less of a deep rooted problem of insecurity and more of a lack of understanding. 

“god, i love you,” he looks up at you, so reverent that you feel your breath catch on nothing. “you’re perfect for me. no matter how many flaws you think you have, you compliment me in every single way. i didn’t know someone like you could exist for me in this world, and if i ever lost you i’d spend the rest of my days alone because no one can compare to you.”

“you think of me like that?” you try to ignore the stinging in your eyes and the burning in your nostrils that signal that you were going to cry. you knew the answer; you felt that way about him, too.

“yes,” he says, simple and ringing with truth. “you’re my perfect little star, the one i wish on every night. i look up at the sun and i think of you simply because we live under the same one. i could go on but - do you understand, now?”

“i do,” you smile. and while looking at him, the moon that hangs bright in your night skies, you truly do understand. 

—

soft hours

read this without reading the tags, thinking that it would be a tooth‐rotting fluff but goddamn 😭😭😭😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️ got me sobbing in seconds at 6am 😭⁉️

⋆ ｡⋆୨୧˚— I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

𝜗𝜚 ༘⋆ ⋆˙pairing. husband! park sunghoon x fem! reader synopsis. you and sunghoon swore to be faithful to each other, unfortunately sunghoon couldn’t keep that promise. genre. angst ,, wc. 2012. 𝐥u𝐧a notes ⋆.˚ guys…how r we liking the layout 🤭.. 🫧 — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂

if you enjoyed reading ,, pls like and reblog !! ‹𝟹 it helps out a lot ¡!

the past year had been a painful rollercoaster of emotions, each high point you’ve had has been followed by a devastating low. you remembered the countless amount of nights you waited for sunghoon, watching the clock tick away the hours as he stayed out late, you had gotten so used to the sound.

the scent of his cologne lingering on his clothes when he finally came home, the way his tie was undone, the way he avoided your gaze when you asked where he'd been. your accusations of him being unfaithful were met with immediate denials, his words cutting deep even as he tried to reassure you that you were his one and only love.

"i would never cheat on you, y/n" he'd say, pulling you into his arms.

"you're my everything." he would say with that look in his eyes, with both love and a conflict he is fighting deep within himself.

and you believed him, of course you would. he’s the same boy who courted you for six months in university because he was so deeply in love with you, the same man who flew you both to hawaii and gave you the most magical proposal ever to be done.

you tried to hold onto the love and trust that had once been so strong, so unshakeable. but each forgotten date, each broken promise chipped away at your trust, leaving you feeling hollow and alone.

today, on the morning of your anniversary, you awoke with a sense of something different, hope for you and sunghoon.

this would be the day you reminded sunghoon of the love you still had for him, and always will. the love that had brought you together in the first place.

you spent hours in the kitchen, preparing his favorite dishes, your hands moving with practiced ease as you cooked. the smell of his favourite kimchi stew and freshly made kimbap filled the air, the same cooking he said he would never ever get tired off.

the scents mingling with the hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the gesture that rekindled sunghoon’s love for you, you missed his touch, his kisses, the sparkle in his eyes, he still has it- but nowadays all he could really do is look down.

as you wrapped a red bow around the lunchbox, you grinned, perfect.

you drove to his office, each mile a reminder of the distance that had grown between you. as you walked through the lobby, your heart pounded with a mix of anticipation, fear, and longing.

the elevator ride seemed to take forever, the seconds stretching out as you rehearsed what you would say, how you would greet him, how you would kiss him.

but nothing in the world could have prepared you for the sight that met you when you opened the door to his office. sunghoon, your husband, the man you had vowed to love and cherish, for better or for worse, was locked in an embrace with his secretary, their lips moving together in a kiss that was all too passionate, all too real.

the box slipped from your hands, the sound of shattering glass, some pieces piercing your legs barely registering as you stood frozen in place.

you felt like you had been stabbed in the heart, you had never felt heartbreak before, and you didn’t understand people when they said everything hurt, now you did.

"y/n," sunghoon's voice broke through the fog of your shock, his eyes wide with panic as his hands trembled.

the hand with your wedding ring trembling.

"this isn't what it looks like honey,”

your chest tightened at the name, the name he couldn’t be bothered to address you as in months.

tears blurred your vision as you shook your head. the pain was unbearable, a physical ache that made it hard to breathe. without a word, you turned and fled, the sound of sunghoon calling your name fading as you ran. the drive home was a blur, sobbing as you got concerned looks from other cars, you were not in any shape to be driving, really.

but you didn’t care- your mind was reeling with the betrayal you had just witnessed.

at home, the same home you and sunghoon bought a month after your marriage- the home with six bedrooms because that was how many kids sunghoon wanted to have with you, the same home where you and sunghoon had late night talks, wrapped in each others embrace.

you moved through the house like a ghost, avoiding staring at the picture frame at the end of the hall, a picture taken on your wedding day.

your hands mechanically packing your belongings. each item you placed in your suitcase felt like another piece of your heart being chipped away.

you were almost finished when you heard the front door slam open, sunghoon's frantic footsteps echoing through the house.

“y/n-“

he cut himself off at the sight before him- the suitcase being packed, the sight of the wardrobe being oddly empty because your clothes would always be overflowing it.

"y/n, no.. please," he begged, sobbing as he fell to his knees before you. "don't leave me. i can't live without you, i won’t do it ever again."

you looked down at him, your heart aching with a mix of love and complete despair.

even after what he did to you, all you wanted to do was to be held by him again, all you wanted all these months was for him to finally long for you like you longer for him- how unfortunate the circumstances were, you thought.

his tears fell down his glass cheeks, his hands trembling as he reached out to you, you shivered at his touch, it felt so foreign, unfamiliar.

"i made a mistake," he cried, his voice raw with emotion. "i love you more than anything in this whole world. please, give me another chance- i’ll make you the happiest girl in the world, we’ll have six kids and we’ll grow old together!”

your mind wavered for a moment, the memories of your life together flashing through your mind. the happiest memories of your life with sunghoon in them, but you knew that staying would only be betraying yourself, that the trust between you had been shattered much beyond repair.

leaning down, you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, it wasn’t for him, it was for yourself. the taste of his tears mingling with your own.

"goodbye, hoon," you whispered, your voice breaking. "i hope you find the happiness you couldn't find with me."

with a final look at the man who had once been your everything, you turned and walked out the door, the sound of your suitcase trailing behind you as you tried to keep your composure at the hysterical sobbing from sunghoon behind you.

the drive to your best friend heeseung's house was filled with the sound of your sobs and screaming, each mile taking you further from the life you had known.

when he opened the door, heeseung’s heart dropped. his eyes filled with concern at the sight of you. he pulled you into his arms without a word.

"it's okay, y/n," he murmured, his voice a soothing whisper to your wounded heart. "i'm here for you, im not leaving."

you clung to him, your tears soaking his shirt as you let out all the pain and heartache that had been building inside you. heeseung's presence was a comforting anchor in the storm of your emotions, his embrace a reminder that you were not alone.

as the night wore on, you found solace in the company of your best friend, knowing that you had made the right choice, even though it had shattered your heart into delicate pieces, pieces you didn’t know could be fixed.

in heeseung's arms, you allowed yourself to grieve the loss of the love you had once believed in, the loss of your best friend, and lover. the betrayal, the heartbreak, all of it poured out in waves of tears and hushed sobs.

heeseung listened to you without interruption, his presence feeling like a heavy blanket over you and the world, comfort as you navigated the gut wrenching feeling in your heart.

"it's not your fault, love" he said softly, brushing a strand of hair from your tear-streaked face.

"you did everything you could." he said looking at you with a gaze in which you didn’t notice, you never did. the gaze you’d given sunghoon for years, the gaze he gave you long before you’d even met sunghoon.

"but it wasn't enough, hee" you replied, your tears rolling down your cheeks, voice raspy from all the sobbing, it was barely above a whisper.

"i wasn't enough."

heeseung shook his head, his expression filled with an ache in his heart and anger at your self doubt. "no, y/n. you are enough. you always have been. sunghoon's mistakes don't define your worth, he’s the dumbest man to ever live, i’d do anything to have you."

you turned to him, bewildered at his words. you looked down at his shaking hands as you sobbed wrapping your arms around him.

“i’m so sorry, hee. i’m selfish, you don’t deserve this- you should tell me to leave-“

he cut you off with a hard hug, you cried harder as his own tears soaked your bare neck.

“don’t say that- i don’t care if i get hurt, or you use me, i don’t. all i need is you beside me, okay? don’t worry about anything.”

his words, though comforting, couldn't fully erase the pain that lingered in your heart. but in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of your best friend's embrace, the love that radiates off of his body.

you felt a glimmer of hope, you were in no shape of moving in just yet, the road ahead would be difficult, filled with moments of utter pain and sorrow, but you knew that you wouldn't have to face it alone.

as the orange sunset began to filter through the windows, you found yourself at a break from the pain in your heart, staring out at the view in peace. heeseung's steady breathing beside you, the quiet hum of the world settling down, it all felt like a promise that everything would be okay.

you took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs, and allowed yourself to believe that maybe, you would find happiness again.

with heeseung by your side, you faced the days ahead with strength. the pain of sunghoon's betrayal would always be a part of you forever, but it wouldn't define you. in the embrace of heeseung and the promise of a new beginning, you found the courage to move forward, one step at a time.

© luvvsim 2024 network ⊹ ࣪ ˖ @enchive

taglist open <3 @luvlyhee @sjyunnsworld @shawnyle

my last effing straw */sobs aggressively

⌗ 𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗬 𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗘𝗦 !

⟢ SUMMARY. “If you were my little girl, I’d do everything I could.”

WARNINGS. daddy issues, parental seperation (father walking out), insecurity, toxic productivity, toxic perfectionism, inferiority complex, sibling rivalry (one-sided), attachment issues, abandonment issues, lots of tears? (mila cries a lot in this one)

NOTES. so um mila has daddy issues…? who would have guessed? 🫠⌇takes place after young and beautiful⌇“bold italics” = chinese, “italics” (double quote marks) = english, ‘italics’ (single quote marks) = flashback ⌇word count: ~7.7k⌇ requested: mila being insecure about heeseung and kiara

IT WAS QUIET. Something Mila had been used to for a long time — and yet, unlike the other times, this silence wasn’t nearly as stifling. As she lay there, her head on Jay’s chest as she listened to the beating of his heart, she could only feel warmth.

Heeseung stroked the top of her head, lulling Mila into a sense of comfort. She wondered if this was how babies felt when they were in the womb, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth — and if so, she understood why her mother claimed Mila didn’t want to leave.

‘You were almost harder to push out than your brother,’ Mila’s mother once said. ‘It was like you never wanted to leave.’

Ah, Mila thought. It all made sense now.

Because when you had something like this, it was only natural not to want to let go of it.

“You know you can come to us for anything, right?” Jay asked, kissing the top of her head lightly.

Mila bit her lip.

Since her fainting incident, the boys had been a lot more attentive to her than usual, if that was even possible. And while she was grateful for it — God, she’s never been more grateful for anything in her life than to have them — she couldn’t help the feeling of guilt in her stomach whenever she thought of the pain they had to go through whenever they were with her.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m just… I’m sorry.”

Jungwon frowned, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. It was times like this where his age showed — the times when it felt like he never wanted to let go of Mila, like a child clutching tightly to their security blanket.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that,” Jungwon said. “Just please… Talk to us, okay?”

Mila closed her eyes for a moment, before signing softly. She lifted her head, silently asking for Jay to let her sit up. And he did. Mila looked across the room at the boys, all of them watching her with varied expressions — but with one thing in common.

Love.

“Still,” Mila said. “I feel like… I think I still have to apologise.” She laughed dryly, fiddling with Sunoo’s fingers, as he sat beside her. “I just find it so hard to open up to people… but- but I should have known that if there was anyone I could open up to, it would be you all.”

The room was silent as the boys exchanged glances. They couldn’t say that they hadn’t noticed the same thing, too. They couldn’t remember the first person who pointed it out, but before debuting — before I-Land — there was such a thing that they had heard about Mila.

She was the famed ‘princess’ — the trainee from China with unreal visuals. Anyone who had the privilege of talking to her could say that, despite her still developing Korean, she was a pleasure to chat with. And yet…

‘Mila is easy to get along with,’ a trainee once said, ‘but hard to get close to.’

And the boys agreed; getting close to her was no easy feat. But slowly, one step at a time, it felt like they were getting somewhere. That she had seemed to be letting them in.

“I want to be open with you though,” Mila said, her eyes trained on Sunoo’s fingers. “I think… I’m just not used to having so many people to talk to. Or anyone. And I… I don’t know, I just— I’m so scared that one day you’ll realise I’m not the perfect girlfriend or that happy girl that you fell in love with…” Mila’s eyes grew distant, as if she were visiting a far away place in her mind.

“You don’t need to be perfect,” Sunghoon said. “None of us are. And that’s okay.”

Mila frowned. “But what if it’s not okay anymore? What if one day, you’ll all just…”

Sunoo frowned as Mila spoke. “We’ll just what?” he asked gently.

“That you’ll just leave.”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat. She mentally cursed in frustration at the language barrier that prevented her from communicating the depth of how she felt. Because there was so much she wanted to say, and yet the only thing she could say could only show the mere tip of the iceberg that was her mind. 

The boys shared saddened looks, and her heart clenched in her chest.

“We’re not leaving,” Jay said. “I know it’s a lot to promise, but we don’t ever want to leave you. All we want in return is for you to let us know what goes on in this pretty little head, okay?”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat.

The others didn’t add anything, because Jay had already said what they felt. And even if he hadn’t, it already showed. Mila couldn’t say she was a mind-reader, but their actions today spoke volumes. She wanted them to know, too, what they meant to her.

And so, for the first time in maybe forever… Mila found herself reaching out first.

“Remember that time I mentioned I didn’t have a dad?”

The boys immediately nodded. They could never forget that moment. It was an eye-opener to just how little they really knew about their little ray of sunshine — a metaphorical slap in the face if there ever was one.

It was during I-Land, one of the peaceful times where they were simply relaxing in the living room, sprawled out on the couches as they talked the daylight away. She had been talking animatedly with Daniel about something, and she had off-handendly said that she wished she could introduce him to her parents, to show off the adorable little brother she had gained.

‘Would your parents approve of me?’ Daniel had asked. To which Mila replied, ‘Of course! My mum would love you!’

Daniel’s natural response had been to ask, ‘What about your dad? Would he like me?’

And imagine the surprise of the boys when they heard her next words.

‘I don’t know,’ Mila replied nonchalantly — perhaps too nonchalantly. ‘I don’t have one.’

“I remember that,” Jake said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Until then, I didn’t realise that whenever someone asked about your parents, you only ever mentioned your mum.” Jay frowned, regretful that he hadn’t noticed sooner why she deliberately avoided the use of the term ‘parents’.

“Right. It wasn’t your fault, though. I never really gave anything away.” Mila laughed dryly. “Now that I think about it, I’ve always been pretty good at avoiding talking about myself. I guess I didn’t want anyone to get too close.”

“What about now?” Riki asked curiously.

Mila smiled. “Of course it’s different now. Because I have you.” The boys smiled fondly at her, and she found herself sighing. “I never really talked about it, because I didn’t know what to say. But I used to think that there was no point missing something I never really had… I mean, when my parents split up, I was still really young. I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

When Mila looked in the mirror, she saw a spitting image of her mother. Everything about Mila was so much like her mother that she had, at some point, convinced herself she was entirely her mother’s daughter. That in the same way that Mila’s mother had raised her alone, she too had been made alone. Though she knew she wasn’t.

As a little girl, Mila would be able to picture someone with a similar face to her brother’s, but more mature and aged; a more roughened version of her brother, who didn’t have the soft beauty that both Bai children inherited from their mother’s side. And if she tried hard enough, little Mila could see a set of dimples like her own, which seemed to be the only feature she didn’t share with her mother, and as such could have only come from the man that helped create her.

But one day, when Mila had grown old enough to forget, Mila found herself unable to imagine anything but a shadow. A blurred outline of a figure that wasn’t there. The only thing she could remember when she thought of him was a single memory of her hiding beneath covers with her brothers as two voices argued in the living room. And then the sound of the door being thrown open and slammed shut.

That was when Mila knew that he was truly gone from her life — if he was even truly part of it, to begin with.

“My mum raised me and my brother fine on her own. And my grandparents were there too, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t loved. I didn’t need him in my life. In fact, we were all happier without him.”

Mila frowned.

“But when I think about it now… I realised something. It’s like everything wrong with me was caused by him not being there… Because one day he was there, and then the next my mum told me he was going far away...” Mila blinked as the boys watched her with saddened eyes. And without even realising it, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “And then he never came back. And I didn’t know why, but him leaving… it…”

Mila couldn’t help the way her shoulders shook from the withheld emotions she was trying to keep locked up, like a dam only just being held back from a broken gate.

Mila didn’t hate her so-called father. He didn’t mean enough — wasn’t there enough — for her to associate any emotions to him other than cold detachment. But she did blame him. She blamed him for making her mother raise two kids alone. She blamed him for making her feel like they — that she — wasn’t good enough to make her stay. She blamed him for a lot of things. But what she blamed him the most for was making her crave affection and love so desperately… yet being too scared letting others close, in fear that they would be like him — that they too would turn their backs on her.

Mila, above all else, blamed her father for making her a coward like him.

“I just don’t understand why someone who isn’t even here can mess me up so badly…” Mila sobbed. “I hate it.”

“Oh, love…” Heeseung frowned, as Mila sniffled, her breath coming out in broken sobs.

The boys could only watch with heavy hearts as Mila continued to pour out her heart to them in what had to be one of her most vulnerable moments so far. They had never dared to ask about Mila’s situation with her parents, knowing that it might be a sore point for her to remember, even if she had constantly assured them that ‘it was fine’ and that she had ‘gotten over it’. But they never could have imagined this. That the reason she had been so scared of losing them, of them leaving her, was because she had already been left. By a man who, by nature, was supposed to love and cherish her above anything else in the world.

They were filled with a mixture of heartbreak, fierce protectiveness and anger, caused by someone they hadn’t even met. They couldn’t comprehend how anyone would be foolish enough to throw away the gift that was Mila… And yet, they could only thank her fool of a father for doing what he did — because he had given them the chance to appreciate the very thing he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon said as he rubbed the girl’s back. “Oppa’s here now.” He kissed her forehead, as Jay cradled the back of her head. “We’re all here now.”

That was all the boys needed as a cue to wrap Mila in their warmth, holding her close to them, whispering sweet words into her ear, so that she would know — even if they couldn’t express with words — just how much she meant to them. And that they, no matter what happened in the past and no matter how long it took to make her understand, were here for her. They would always be here for her.

They were here to stay.

MILA WAS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR WITH THE WORD ‘SECOND’. She was the second-born child, second best, and also second choice on many occasions. And she was reminded of it at the worst of times.

She vaguely remembered a scene from her childhood, where she left her room because of a nightmare that woke her up, only to overhear her mother crying on the phone.

‘They’re having a baby,’ Her mother had said into the phone, sobbing madly. ‘It’s hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already starting a new family. What about my kids, huh? What will they think of they find out their dad is out there happy and raising another kid when he couldn’t even stay for them?’

Like that, Mila had unknowingly found out the reason that her house was missing one person, why their family photos now had tears in them from the forceful removal of one of the figures. And that day must have cemented Mila’s fate. It seemed Mila was her mother’s daughter, through and through — in the best and worst way possible. Because it seemed that no matter how beautiful they were, how kind or gentle they were, they were both doomed to be second to another woman in the eyes of the men they loved.

And the funny thing was, if it was Kiara Park, Mila couldn’t even argue about the fairness of it. Because Mila understood why any person would choose Kiara over her. Depressingly enough, she had even accepted it.

Mila remembered during I-Land, when the older female was considered one of the top trainees. Period. Gender was irrelevant when it came to someone as talented and skilled as Kiara. During those days, Mila could feel that familiar twist in her gut whenever she realised just how wide the gap was between the two of them, and how — despite walking towards the same dream — they seemed to be on severely different paths from one another.

One of them was consistently ranked at the top of every mission alongside the Ace trainee himself, earning the respect and awe of all other trainees. The other had spent more time in Ground than I-Land, weighed down by constant doubt over whether she was there for her visuals rather than her merit.

Mila had envied the older female just as any other girl would. She was everything Mila wanted to be — beautiful, strong, and confident in herself. And being older, Kiara automatically had an air of maturity that Mila — no matter how hard she tried to replicate it — severely lacked. Once, Mila had made a poor joke that if Kiara was fine wine, then she was grape juice, because Mila was every sense of the word immature. She was jealous, clingy, and painfully inexperienced. Everything Kiara was not.

The only similarity the two girls seemed to share — other than being the only female members in Enhypen — was that both of them were (or, in Kiara’s case, was) in a romantic relationship with one Lee Heeseung. The difference there was that one of them was Heeseung’s first choice.

And once again, it wasn’t Mila.

“Why couldn’t it be me?”

Heeseung froze, the smile on his face falling when Mila had finally asked the question she had been wanting to ask for so long. Because it didn’t make sense to Mila that after being with someone like Kiara, he would be able to settle with her. And it was unfair to her to doubt him, to question his loyalty, but this irrational feeling, brought to her by years of feeling worthless — subpar, second place, not good enough — made her wonder why he was still here, holding her to his chest as they lay on his bed, like she were the most precious thing in the world.

“Baby,” Heeseung said softly, as Mila’s eyes teared up. “What’s wrong?”

Mila sniffled as Heeseung gently brushed his thumbs against her now wet cheeks.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

Heeseung frowned, his eyes full of worry. If he could get rid of her shadiness, he would; he would do anything to make her happy. And he hated that she looked so lost and broken in his arms, without a clue as to why she looked that way.

“What hurts, baby?” He gently pushed. “What’s making you sad?”

“It hurts that I wasn’t the first option,” Mila said with a small voice. Mila inhaled sharply. “Why couldn’t I get you to love me first? Why couldn’t I get to you before Eonnie did?”

Mila had tried so hard to leave it in the past. But she had already unlocked so many memories of the past by opening up to the boys about her childhood, by letting them into that space she hadn’t shown anyone else. And now those thoughts that she ran away from could finally catch up to her.

Heeseung felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. Mila had been so worried about them leaving her, but all he could think about was how he always managed to — directly or indirectly — cause her pain. And it hurt like nothing else ever could to know that he had done this to her, even unintentionally. Especially after finding out just what she went through growing up.

Whenever Heeseung thought of the image of a younger Mila, lost and alone, he wanted nothing more than to sweep her up and hug her to his chest, telling her that it would be okay. That she didn’t have to grow up fearing closeness or affection. That when she got older, she would meet seven people who would love her like she always deserved, as long as she let them.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t spare her the pain that she had carried with her all these years. All he could do was make up for it with the time they had together.

Starting now.

“Trust me when I say that I loved you for a long time,” Heeseung said. “And everyday I regret that I didn’t realise it earlier. Because the whole time I spent with someone I didn’t even like romantically, I could have spent it with you, holding you like this…” He cradled her head with one hand and the other hand grabbing her smaller hand in his. “Kissing you like this…” He kissed away the tears on Mila’s cheeks. “I could have had you faster, and saved you from hurting like you are now. But I was blind and didn’t even realise it until I almost lost you for good. You were always enough, my love. It was never your fault. You were— are— everything I want and need.”

‘You were always enough.’ ‘It was never your fault.’ Mila hadn’t realised just how long she was waiting to hear those words — from anyone. She didn’t realise just how much she wanted to be told that she — as flawed as she was — was still enough. And yet, just as always, Heeseung knew exactly what to say, and what she needed to hear.

Mila blinked away the tears in her eyes, her heart feeling lighter than it had before. “Really?”

“Really.” Heeseung squeezed Mila’s hand before lifting her to where his heart was, resting her palm flat against it. “Do you feel that?”

Mila nodded as she felt his strong heartbeats against his chest. 

“That’s yours.”

Mila’s breath caught in her throat, her own heart fluttering in her chest, despite her previous state of despair. Heeseung smiled softly as he looked into Mila’s eyes, his own sparkling with adoration that made Mila feel as if she were the only girl in the world.

Did this man even know what he was promising her? Just how much he was placing in her hands? If so, Mila realised she was more foolish than she originally thought. Because no one could ever give away something so precious to someone who didn’t mean just as much — if not more.

“No matter what happened in the past, just know that this—“ (Heeseung rubbed his thumb against the back of Mila’s palm.) “—is yours now. And it always will be. No one else’s. You’re more than ‘first’ — you’re my last. You’re my one and only. You’re it for me, baby.”

When Heeseung looked in Mila’s eyes to see that dazzling look he had grown to love, he knew that he would do anything to keep it. He had given his heart to her already — he would give everything else he had as well.

“I love you,” Mila whispered.

Heeseung smiled. “I love you too.”

Without another word, he leant down and pressed his lips to hers, cherishing the feeling of her soft lips against his. By the time they seperated, the only words they had for each other were the desperate ‘I love you’ that spilled from their lips, which sought each other out like they were lost without them. Then they remained there, no words shared — only kisses and warmth.

And that was enough for Mila.

She was enough.

MILA MISSED HER CHILDHOOD. Not necessarily in the sense that she would relive it, but more so because she knew that she didn’t spend it as she should have. Now she was an adult with a career that didn’t allow her the same freedoms as she had back then, and she found herself wishing she hadn’t been so hard on herself. That she let herself have more fun, that she made more friends, that she played more often. That she let herself be a child.

But she had always been harsh on herself. Even then.

Mila remembered anxiously picking at her vegetables on the rare day that her mother finished work early — because of course her mother had to eat dinner with them on the day that Mila would rather be alone.

‘I heard the results came out today,’ her mother said. ‘How did it go?’

And Mila instantly knew how it would end.

Just like always, her brother had done perfectly. Because when did he not? Top of his class, every teacher’s favourite student, star player on the basketball team, everyone’s role model — including herself. And Mila could wish all she wanted that one day, he might do a little less perfectly, so that she could feel better about not being as smart or sporty or charismatic as him. But then she would hate herself even more, for wishing failure upon her own flesh and blood.

So, she could only quietly eat her food, her head lowered, as her brother continued to talk about the praise he had received from his teachers. And in return, their mother glowed with pride, showering him with compliments.

‘How did I give birth to such a smart son?’ their mother gushed as she liked his plate with the best dishes. ‘Eat more. You need to eat well to replenish all your energy. Actually— why don’t I ask Aunty to make your favourite snacks tonight? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if she heard how well you did.’

‘No need for that, Mama,’ Mila’s brother replied. ‘I’m fine just being able to eat dinner with you and Baobao.’

And Mila’s mother smiled lovingly, pride clear on her eyes. ‘Baobao’ was Mila’s family nickname; a name that meant ‘treasure’. But at times like this, Mila wondered if she was really worthy of such a name — when her brother seemed to shine brighter than she ever could.

Mila could already imagine her mother going to work the next day, bragging to her coworkers about her exceptional son, who was born gifted and talented — and Mila wondered if there was ever a time that her mother had done the same for her. That maybe, there was something worthy about her otherwise mediocre daughter that she could praise to the skies about.

But that was probably impossible, wasn’t it?

‘What about you, Baobao?’ Mila’s mother asked. ‘How were you exams?’

Mila bit her lip as she thought of her highest score — the 92 she had gotten on her English test — and then remembered her brother saying his lowest score was a 93. Even her best couldn’t match her brother’s worst. How sad was that?

‘It was so-so,’ she replied, before setting down her chopsticks. She forced a smile to avoid suspicion. ‘Thank you for the food. I’m finished eating now.’

And without another word, she excused herself from the table.

Mila cried herself to sleep that night — as she did on many nights — wondering when she would ever be able to do something to receive the same praise and recognition her brother did. She chased it so desperately that she threw her youth away. When she wasn’t at cheerleading practise, she was at her desk; and when she wasn’t at her desk, she was at school club meetings. Then when Mila became a trainee, it was like history repeated itself. She put hours upon hours into practice, never resting until she knew she had gotten everything perfect. And if she was anything less than perfect, she simply put in more. More hours, more sweat, more tears.

And it was happening all over again. Her face behind in her arms as she lay on her desk, overwhelmed by the papers scattered around her.

It was her day off, as five of the members (Kiara, Heedeung, Jungwon, Jay and Riki) were filming for a variety shoot. So, she had been locked up in her room for hours by that point, determined to make use of her free time to catch up on the school work that she missed. But looking at content on top of more content, her brain had already reached its breaking point, and no matter how much she looked at the materials in front of her, the only thing she could think was that she was just so tired.

And that was when Jake walked in to see her crying.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t understand,” Mila replied in frustration. “No matter what I do, I can’t get it,” she said quietly. “I feel so stupid.”

“Shhh… hey, hey,” Jake said softly, kneeling in front of Mila and cupping her cheek. “Don’t say that, okay? You’re not stupid. You’re just having a slump. And that’s okay. Because you’ll pick yourself back up again.”

Mila sniffled. “But everyone else is already so ahead of me.” It was like she was a child all over again, chasing after her brother’s legacy. “It’s like I’m the only one lagging behind.”

Jake sighed, his eyes sad for the girl in front of him. He had always admired her ethic to improve — but he often wished she could be kinder and more patient with herself, as she was to others.

“You’re not behind. You just need more take time, and that’s okay. Not everyone gets it in right away— but what matters is you’ll get it eventually.” Mila nodded as she took in Jake’s words, feeling slightly better about her lack of progress. Jake smiled encouragingly. “You’ve been working so hard the past few days,” he said, “it’s time for a break.” He got up and started to pull her out of her seat. “Come on.”

“What?” Mila shook her head. “But I have to finish this.”

“You can finish it later,” Jake replied. “You have all the time in the world. That’s enough to give yourself a break and come back, when you can think clearer.”

Mila bit her lip as Jake called out to Sunghoon and Sunoo, the only other remaining members in the dorm. “Get ready!” he yelled. “We’re taking Mila on a date!”

Mila couldn’t protest anymore. Not when Sunoo and Sunghoon later joined Jake in nagging her, before threatening to carry her to the car themselves. Embarrassed by the mere thought of it, Mila immediately agreed to do what they wanted and let them take her out on a date at the mall. They had just gotten food to eat, when Sunoo noticed the arcade, which in turn made Mila excited.

“Can we go there?” she asked excitedly, tugging on Sunghoon’s and Jake’s sleeve. “Please?”

Taking one look at her pleasing eyes, the boys knew they didn’t have the heart in them to say no. Jake, who Jay had told to be back at the dorms by a certain time so they could all have dinner together, could have said no. Maybe Mila would have pouted a little about it, but they would be able to sweet-talk her and bribe her with the promise of chocolates. 

And yet, without a second of hesitation, he and Sunghoon immediately agreed, letting the girl drag them into the arcade by the sleeves while Sunoo skipped beside them. It was dangerous just how much they were willing to do for her and let her get away with. But it was no secret that they were down bad for their girlfriend — and they weren’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Which is how they ended up following her around after getting their tokens, watching her attempt various different games.

“Wah, that looks cute!” Mila said as she pointed to a crane machine, full of mini plushies. “I’m going to try to get one.”

Mila slipped a token into the coin slot, before grabbing the controls of the machine. 

“Don’t you have too many already?” Sunoo teased.

Mila laughed. “You can never have too many.” She returned her attention to the machine before manoeuvring the hook so that it hovered above a small bunny plush. “I’m going to go for the bunny.”

“Move a little to the left,” Jake said. 

“No, no,” Sunghoon disagreed, “you’re fine where you are.”

Mila furrowed her eyebrows. “Huh? Then do I move left or stay here?”

“Move left.” “Stay there.”

Sunghoon and Jake exchanged looks.

“Just do whatever!” Sunoo interjected. “Don’t listen to them. They’re bad at this game anyway.”

“No I’m not!” The two exclaimed in unison.

“Here.” Sunghoon put a hand on the small of Mila’s back before moving to stand behind her, placing his hands over hers as he helped her manoeuvre the controls. “I’ll help you.”

“Ayeeeee,” Sunoo and Jake chorused teasingly.

Sunghoon smiled shyly, a complete contrast to the confidence in his aura as he helped Mila to coordinate. As soon as he found a good angle at which to drop the crane, he told Mila to press the buttons. And the four of them watched as the crane descended, grabbing onto the bunny’s neck.

“Oh— it’s working, it’s working!” Sunoo announced as the crane successfully picked up the bunny. But halfway to the drop zone, it suddenly fell, causing them all to groan in disappointment.

Mila sighed. “Ah, it was so close…” 

Seeing her disappointed expression, Jake immediately jumped in. “Let me try.” Sunghoon moved aside and let Jake take his spot, watching as Jake did the same movements as he did before. “Okay, try pressing the button now.”

Mila did as Jake said and pressed the button. However, just like before, it only made it halfway. The four of them — too invested in the claw game — stood there for goodness knows how long, trying to get the plushie, until Mila decided to do it herself.

“Okay, last time! Here we go!”

Mila bit her lip in concentration, her eyes fixed solely on the machine in front of her. Sunoo, who was standing beside her, watching with fond eyes, taking in all her features as she remained fixated. It was just like her to be so focused on her goals, and this time, he was glad that even if she never did lose her tunnel vision, she was using it for something other than work.

Mila watched in anticipation as the crane lifted to the bunny, breath baited as she watched it travel over the other plushies below on its way to the drop zone. And when the bunny made it all the way to the end, she couldn’t help her jump for joy.

“I did it!” she yelled before turning to her lovers. “I got it! I got it!”

The boys laughed as Mila excitedly grabbed the bunny from the tray.

“Good job,” Sunghoon baby-talked.

Jake patted her head, as Sunoo clapped.

“It’s cute,” Sunoo said as Mila held it up.

“It kinda looks like you,” Sunghoon added.

Jake laughed. “Right?”

Mila laughed. By that moment, Mila had already forgotten about the sheets on her desk back at the dorm. She had spent so much time on tests and evaluations already, she realised she needed this break. At times like this, Mila realised just how much was out there. How beautiful life could be when she stopped obsessing about numbers on a piece of paper, or the approval of fickle-hearted people who could care less about who she was and what she went through. Especially when she could amend time with the people she loved instead.

This moment right here?

It made her happier than a 100 on any test could.

LONELINESS WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MILA’S. It wasn’t like Mila didn’t have anyone who cared. Quite the opposite, in fact. She knew her mother loved her, and she knew her older brother would do anything to keep her safe. But when you were a child who had been convinced that you were a nuisance for wanting comfort — by someone who you barely even knew — you just learnt not to ask for anything more than what you already had.

‘Aiya, what are you doing out of bed?’ The housemaid asked one night, when a young Mila would wander out of her room, clutching a stuffed bunny in her arms.

‘I wanted to sleep with Mama,’ Mila replied.

The housemaid clicked her tongue, and put her hands on her hips, looking down at the young girl with a reprimanding stare. ‘Your mama only just got back home from a long day at work, ah. She needs sleep, but she can’t do that if she has to look after you. Do you want Mama to be tired in the morning?’

Mila immediately shook her head. ‘No.’ She looked down at the floor in shame, before asking, ‘Then can I sleep with Gēgē instead?’

The housemaid sighed. ‘Your older brother is tired from studying so hard, unlike you. You shouldn’t disturb his sleep.’ The housemaid held out a hand. ‘Here. Aunty will tuck you in.’

Mila hesitantly took the older woman’s hand, barely even holding on to it. But the woman didn’t seem to mind as she hurriedly escorted Mila to her room. The older woman had barely put the sheets up to Mila’s chin before she was bidding her goodnight and turning the lights off, shutting the door before Mila could even protest.

Mila turned on the bedside light beside her and screwed her eyes shut, forcing herself back to sleep. And the next morning, when she woke up, feeling as if she had barely slept at all, she took one look at her older brother, who had been diligently reading a book at the dining table, while the housemaid smiled fondly and served his breakfast; and then at her mother’s seat at the table which, like always, was empty at this time. And at that moment, Mila realised that maybe she really was just a nuisance. Because everyone seemed to have more important things to worry about than her.

That’s why Mila looked forward to the weekends more than anything — because then the whole family would be complete, and they would spend time together like families usually did. Her mother would take her and her brother to the park, and the two would play tag and other games. And she could pretend for a second that she wasn’t lonely, that she wasn’t desperate for just a little more affection.

But then time passed, her brother finally outgrew his little sister, and her mother had deemed her old enough to look after herself. Then Mila was by herself more than she wasn’t. And so, Mila learnt to enjoy the times she spent in the living room, alone, while she quietly watched her favourite shows on the television; or the times sitting by herself at the dinner table, with nothing but the sound of her chopsticks clicking against the dishes. Because there was nothing else she could really do about it.

But things were different now. Because the thing about the Enhypen dorms was that it was never quiet for long.

“Yah!” The sound of Sunoo’s yell was the first thing Mila woke up to. “Who used my lotion?”

“It wasn’t me!” came Jake’s reply. “Ask Sunghoon!”

Mila could just barely make out Sunghoon’s tired voice asking, “Why are you blaming me?”

With a giggle, Mila rubbed the sleep away from her eyes. But just as she made a move to stretch her arms over her head, she suddenly became aware of the other person occupying her bed and restraining her in a tight hug.

Riki groaned, nuzzling his face into Mila’s neck. “Don’t go…”

Mila laughed and did the best she could to pay his head as he clung to her side. His leg was thrown over Mila’s waist, and his arms over her chest, taking up almost all the space on Mila’s bed, leaving only a fraction of it to her. And yet, Mila couldn’t find it in her to be mad about it. Because she figured, she would rather be squished on a bed from having to fit two people, than to take up the entire space by herself.

“Bǎobèi,” Mila said with a mock stern voice, softened by the use of the pet name meaning ‘Baby’. “You need to wake up before Sunoo comes in here and scolds you for using his lotion again.”

Riki whined and squeezed Mila tighter. There was a reason why Mila was his favourite sleeping buddy. And it happened to be because: one, she was the perfect size to cuddle — like a life-sized teddy bear — and just as soft; and two, as much as he hated to admit it, he loved the way she would baby him in the mornings. He didn’t know that Mila treasured his cuddles just as much as he treasured having her in his arms. But he was just glad she was one of those people she let in — that he could be close to her in ways that some people would never get the chance.

Maybe Mila had been lonely, but Riki would always be here to show her that she could always count on him for company.

Riki furrowed his eyebrows when there was a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice. “Noona.”

“Wonnie?” Mila asked, her eyes brightening. Riki groaned, rolling his eyes as she said, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal Jungwon, his dimples appearing with the way he smiled so widely, and his  eyes holding a galaxy of emotion. Riki could recognise that look anywhere, because it was the same one that he — that they all — had when they looked at Mila. As if she were the only girl in the world, the only thing that mattered. Perhaps Mila was the only one who didn’t see it. But that was okay. Because they had all the time in the world to show her.

“Yah,” Jungwon said to Riki, poking his side. “Get up. You got to cuddle her the whole night.”

Riki scoffed. He haughtily turned his head away from the elder and pouted as he clung on to Mila. “Don’t want to.”

Jungwon scrunched up his nose in distaste before turning to Mila, who watched the two with fondness on her eyes. She couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered, knowing that they valued her company enough to bicker about it. And her smile only grew when Jungwon pulled out those kittenish pleasing looks of his that he knew she could never resist.

“Darling, can you tell him to go away?” Jungwon asked. “I want to cuddle with you now.”

Mila laughed, before holding out a hand to him. “Then come here. We can all cuddle together.”

Riki smirked smugly, knowing that Mila would never kick him off of her bed. (Or any of them for that matter— but he just wanted bragging rights.) Jungwon looked mildly displeased at the thought of not getting Mila to himself, but then the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement as Jungwon’s eyes flickered with mischief.

As Mila was lying closest to the wall, Jungwon would have to get over Riki first. And being petty as he was, Jungwon — all decorum of a leader cast aside  —  stepped over him, purposely digging his foot into the younger’s side. A look that could only be described as a smug cat-like grin crossed Jungwon’s face when Riki yelped in pain, clutching his side. In the short window of time that Riki’s arm wasn’t on Mila, Jungwon lay himself on top of her, his head on her chest.

“Hyung!” Riki said indignantly. “That hurt!”

Jungwon simply stuck out his tongue before nuzzling his face into Mila’s — or rather, Sunoo’s — hoodie. He sighed in content when Mila’s hand immediately went to his locks, unaware that the other was gently rubbing Riki’s “hurt” side.

“Are you okay?” Mila asked, as Riki scrunched his nose up.

The younger glared at the elder, who was purposely hogging as much of Mila as possible. Feeling petty, he kicked Jungwon’s foot. 

“Yah, hyung, stop hogging and move over.”

Jungwon huffed. “Don’t want to.”

“Moveeee,” Riki whined, before looking at Mila with a helpless look.

Mila laughed. “Okay, okay. Move over a bit.”

Riki immediately did what Mila said and moved to the edge of the bed. Mila then tapped Jungwon’s back and instructed him to squeeze in between Mila and the wall. Just like that, Mila was in between two extremely clingy males who latched onto her like koalas.

“Better?” Mila asked.

“Eung,” both boys replied.

There was a short silence before Jungwon then added, “It would be better if Niki wasn’t here, though.”

Riki’s head shot up. “Then leave.”

Mila sighed as the two went back and forth. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to be truly mad. Because how could she, when it showed just how much they cherished her? They found comfort in her, as she did in them. And that alone was enough to fill her with contentment.

“I’m her favourite, anyway,” Riki said.

Jungwon clicked his tongue. “No, you’re not.”

“Who’s the one who got to cuddle her last night?”

“That’s only because it was your turn. Remember that it’s my turn tonight, so you’re not allowed anywhere near her bed.”

Mila laughed.

Yes, the Enhypen dorms were loud. Yes, there was bickering and petty fighting. And yes, sometimes Mila worried that the walls might fly off with how noisy things could get. But Mila wouldn’t have it any other way.

If anything, it just reminded her she wasn’t alone.

MILA HAD ALWAYS BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON. It wasn’t something she was proud of, nor which she liked to admit. But it was true. And it had to be her tragedy that there was always someone out there with something she wanted, but never really had — especially as a kid.

Other children envied the fact that Mila always had a pretty set of shoes and dresses to wear; a different hair clip in her hair every day, a pencil case full of assorted crayons and coloured pencils of the best brand; a shiny car, and not to mention the best snacks for lunch. But they didn’t realise she envied them, too.

Mila wondered if those kids from her youth realised now that Mila would have traded her store-bought food in a heartbeat for their homemade lunches. That even if she had shiny fancy hair clips and pretty dresses, it wasn’t her mother (who was always gone by the time Mila woke up for school) who helped her into them, but something she had learned to do herself, instead. And Mila couldn’t care less about the shiny car that came to pick her up after school, because unlike the other kids, she knew her dad wouldn’t be stepping out of it, smiling, and opening his arms for her to run straight into them.

Instead, Mila would only wait awkwardly in her classroom, watching as her classmate’s father picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

‘How was my princess’ day?’ Her classmate’s father asked. And then Mila’s classmate showed him the picture she painted that day, of her happy family, to which her father beamed and said, ‘Wow, you drew this? It’s too good to be a pre-schoolers. Why don’t we get ice cream as a treat?’

Mila could only watch in envy as the father- daughter pair left the classroom in a fit of giggles and laughter, just as her chauffeur appeared at the door, gesturing impatiently for her to follow him. Then Mila followed him with rushed steps — scared of annoying him if she took too long — her own painting that she had drawn that day folded and forgotten inside her backpack.

But that was okay, Mila thought. She knew her mother was busy at work, and with playing the role of two parents, so it was hard for her to be there for Mila; and her grandparents lived in a different city, so it wasn’t like she could stay with them either. So she would just have to go home as she usually did, waiting until the time her brother finished training so that she wasn’t alone.

And Mila accepted that. She had gotten used to it. Because she hadn’t known anything else… Until she gained so much more.

“Ayeeeeee!”

Mila had just finished putting on her backpack, she was startled by the jostling of her classmates who had erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. Confused, she looked up to find the source of the sudden rowdiness. And there he was. Jay, standing at the door in his uniform and coat, with a smile on his face.

Mila could only smile back, fondness filling her chest. She knew there a bunch of envious gazes and excited whispers going through the classroom, but she didn’t notice them. All she could see was him, waiting to pick her up from class himself.

“Don’t make the poor man wait,” her classmate said teasingly. “He looks like he’s dying to run up to you right now.”

Without a quick goodbye, Mila skipped up to Jay happily, his eyes brightening with each step she took towards him. When she got to him, his hand immediately found her bag strap, a soft smile on his face.

“Let me carry it,” he said, taking the bag from Mila before she could protest.

Mila giggled. “I can carry my own bag.”

“I know,” Jay replied while chuckling. “But let me do this for you, okay?”

Jay didn’t know if Mila knew just how much it meant to him, having her rely on him for these kinds of things, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed. He knew that if she didn’t want his help, he would have no choice but to respect her decision — and yet, at the same time he couldn’t help the feeling in his chest whenever he looked at her and her bright eyes. The feeling of doing anything and everything for her. For no reason at all except that she deserved it.

Even before Jay knew anything about her childhood — and the empty gap waiting to be filled — he had already promised himself to be someone she could depend on. And now that urge only grew stronger.

“What do you want for lunch?” Jay asked gently as he brushed a strand of hair from Mila’s face. “We have time to get some food to eat before we go back to the dorms.” Noticing Mila’s hesitant lip bite, he added, “Get anything. I don’t mind.”

Mila hummed. “In that case… Is it okay if we go home to eat?” Mila asked shyly. “I really feel like having some of your cooking.”

Jay’s chest was filled with warmth, both pride and joy. He would do anything that she asked if it made her happy. But hearing that she wanted to have his cooking more than any other option made him wish that teleportation existed, so that he could get to the dorm and make something for her as quickly as they could.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll let Sunoo know to meet us at the car.”

Mila could only smile warmly, adoration shining in her eyes like sunlight through a painted glass window — full of vibrant colours that only love could make. The two of them walked side by side, their fingers brushing against each other, not too close as to avoid the curious eyes of their schoolmates.

“How was your day?” Jay asked, tugging her closer to him when a rowdy pair of male students ran past and switching sides with her so she was walking on the less crowded side of the hall.

Mila hummed, before she smiled upon remembering something. “It was good! During Math, one of the teachers asked me to solve the problem on the board — and it was hard at first, but I actually did it right!”

Jay beamed. “Really?” When Mila nodded happily, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. And when they finally reached the less crowded part of the school on the way to their van, Jay leant down to whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against the shell. “I’m so proud of you.”

Mila had almost cried then and there. She somehow made it to the van without shedding a tear. But that afternoon, when Mila sat at the dinner table with Jay next to her, holding chopsticks to her mouth, she really did cry. Her eyes watered, glassy with tears as Jay fed her the food that he had cooked just for her.

“Thank you,” Mila whispered, unable to say anything else. Because she didn’t want to apologise anymore. Jay deserved more than that. They all did. She was grateful for them. Grateful that they loved her. Grateful that she got the chance to love them in return.

And for a split-second, Mila wondered if Jay thought she was odd for crying out of nowhere. But of course, he didn’t. Because that was just who he was. That was Jay.

“Shhh, I know,” Jay whispered, wiping the tears off her face as she chewed on her food. He kissed her forehead and said, “It’s okay.”

And Mila believed him.

Jay was there, and so were the others. And she believed if they were together, then everything was going to be okay. Because the same way she promised — then and there — to do all she could for them, so too would they do the same for her. Would give the world if she asked, wrapped up in a bow. And if she lacked love before, then all they would have to do is make up for it with their own.

Because she was their girl now.

TAGLIST: @lanamoonroh @3amstarlight @nikitopia @one16core @onlyuyu @xinikons @clar-iii @shinrjj @nee-issaire @elizalabs3 @lol6sposts @cyberpunksunwoo @woonkies @wonsctz @euniceruiz11 @curly-fr13s

2:53 am

"kei." no response. you know tsukishima has to get up early for work, but the window across from your bed is open, allowing the night breeze to creep in and sting your face. you could get up yourself, but that's what husbands are for, right?

you twist around, trying to wiggle out of your husband's grasp so you can take a better look at his sleeping face. he has an arm wrapped firmly around your waist, the other supporting your neck to, in his words, 'protect his ears from your constant complaints about your sore neck in the morning'.

"honey?" you poke his cheek, smiling to yourself when he grunts in response. tsukishima has always been a light sleeper. you lay in silence for a few seconds before he finally lets out a sigh, opening his eyes to look at you.

"what do you want?"

you muster up your biggest doe eyes, knowing that he hates getting out of bed just as much as you do. "close the window for me?"

"no. you do it."

you sigh dramatically, gesturing at his arms wrapped firmly around you. "i would love to, but someone is holding me hostage, so i think you're going to have to do it."

tsukishima rolls his eyes, untangling his arms from your body. "problem solved." he holds back a smile when you frown and pull the blankets away from him, turning your back towards him. you're so cute. tsukishima would do anything you ask of him without hesitation, but he can't help but tease you a bit first. he'll never get tired of your reactions, and he loves that he can be a little snarky with you.

you sigh again, this time louder and more pointed, pretending to shiver just to show your husband how cold you really are, and how cruel he is for not helping. "if only someone could hold me right now...", you trailed off.

"ok, do you want me to help you or not?" he finally gives in, getting up to reach for his glasses. you win, as usual. you turn back to face him again with a smile as bright as sunshine, and despite all of the years you've been together, his heart still stops for a second. wow. okay, maybe he is obsessed with you, but he can't help it. you've clearly worked your magic on him, considering the fact that he's getting out of the bed for you when he has to be awake in a few hours. he goes to close the windows with a firm click, walking back to his side of bed.

"kei...since you're already up...", he looks back to see your guilty smile, an empty mug in your hands. "please? last thing, i swear." he give you a look that reads, "you're lucky i love you." (you know you're the luckiest person in the world.)

he takes your mug and you hear his quiet footsteps making their way to the kitchen. he comes back, handing you a mug full of warm water. once you take a sip, he takes the mug from you again, placing it on your nightstand.

"i poisoned that," he quips, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before finally lying down and snaking his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer to him. the only reason he hates getting out of bed is that he has to let go of you, but he doesn't need to say that. he's sure you already know.

（ 标题 ） WHITE CORVETTE AND LIPSTICK .

PREC𝒾S ⠀⟡​⠀​waiting for the cab with your boyfriend in the night.

( 엔하이픈 제이 ) ୨୧ f .. r 600 mentioned chief!jay au fluff established relationship ── flirting kissing skinship ⠀ ｡｡ ⠀ recue𝒾l

ˊᗜˋreblogs&feebacks。C𝑙𝑖CK

the cool summer air brushes against your skin. goosebumps down your spine, the night’s breeze sends them directly where they are.

you almost regret not wearing a jacket at that hour, until your boyfriend’s coat gets draped on your shoulders, his arms wrapping around your waist soon after, his chest pressing against your back gently. you put your hand on the one who is not covered by the other— your fingertips digs in his skin, massaging it as a silent ‘thank you’.

the wind plays with your hair a little and jay’s nose approaches your neck, the tip of it touches your skin. he softly rubs his cheek against yours, he knows you are wearing makeup and that you don’t like that. but instead of asking with words, he decides to act like a black cat rubbing itself against his owner’s leg: asking for attention.

you catch the glimpse of the cigarette between his lips with your peripheral vision before turning around. jay’s hair moves along with the soft gentle breeze. a smirk wraps around the cigarette he holds so carefully between his teeth, his lips around it makes it look so beautiful and almost delicious.

jay tilts his chin up, towards you— bringing your attention to the cigarette he is holding. you eye his handwriting on it. it reminds you of the first time you met.

you reckon watching him from afar from the restaurant’s table you were eating on. his broad shoulders and toned back facing you as he cooked in the kitchen. his uniform hugged perfectly his waist, as always. his hands holding onto the kitchen towel before yanking it on his shoulder. you stared at him during the entirety of your dinner, as if he was the food you were waiting for.

you met him again when you went out, during his break. he had a cigarette with his number on it— he gave it to you with a charming smile.

his voice is muffled, yet still deep when he talks, he speaks the same words he did during your first discussion, “do you want it?”

as always, you palm it. you hold the tobacco stick between your index finger and your thumb, you turn it a bit to read what is written on it. in your mind, you read, ‘give me a kiss.’

you can’t help but smile at that. your eyes leave the cigarette to stare at jay’s white corvette tucked between his sleeveless suit vest and his black button up. it’s exactly how you like it, you want to wrap your hand around it and pull the man towards you— you let your desires take over.

jay’s lips taste like cigarettes, mint and a bit of liquor. he kisses you so soft compared to the flavor of his lips and his arms tightening around your waist makes you melt.

the mark of your lipstick all over his lips is a proof of the kiss you shared. they linger from his lips to the corner of them, even one of his nose and his chin, showing that you proceeded to land pecks anywhere you could.

the fire in his eyes burns through your skin when you try to wipe the lipstick off. he turns his head slightly, just to put his lips away from your thumb.

one of his hands leaves your waist and comes looking for something in the coat’s pocket he gave to you. your lipstick is found in it and soon enough, it’s cap ends up in jay’s mouth.

he apply the product on your lips as if he was born for it— with a concentration that makes him, if it’s even possible, an hundred times more attractive.

he accidentally overline your lips a bit. you try to wipe it off and open your mouth to tell him to wait. he cuts you before you can even start, “shut up, i got this,”and while locking his eyes with yours, uses his thumb to make it disappear.

you watch him close the lipstick and put it back where he found it. the realization that he has your lipstick with him everywhere, everyday, makes your heart beat louder in your chest.

he gives you a kiss on your cheek, under the light of your eyes shining with lust, “the cab is here.”

a several amount of kisses are shared on the backseat of the said cab.

𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open !

(..◜ᴗ◝..) my jay obsession is coming back.... he is SOO husband coded 😞