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𑁍 Hyunjin ꒰ Stray Kids ꒱ lockscreens

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my last effing straw */sobs aggressively

⌗ 𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗬 𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗘𝗦 !

⟢ SUMMARY. “If you were my little girl, I’d do everything I could.”

WARNINGS. daddy issues, parental seperation (father walking out), insecurity, toxic productivity, toxic perfectionism, inferiority complex, sibling rivalry (one-sided), attachment issues, abandonment issues, lots of tears? (mila cries a lot in this one)

NOTES. so um mila has daddy issues…? who would have guessed? 🫠⌇takes place after young and beautiful⌇“bold italics” = chinese, “italics” (double quote marks) = english, ‘italics’ (single quote marks) = flashback ⌇word count: ~7.7k⌇ requested: mila being insecure about heeseung and kiara

IT WAS QUIET. Something Mila had been used to for a long time — and yet, unlike the other times, this silence wasn’t nearly as stifling. As she lay there, her head on Jay’s chest as she listened to the beating of his heart, she could only feel warmth.

Heeseung stroked the top of her head, lulling Mila into a sense of comfort. She wondered if this was how babies felt when they were in the womb, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth — and if so, she understood why her mother claimed Mila didn’t want to leave.

‘You were almost harder to push out than your brother,’ Mila’s mother once said. ‘It was like you never wanted to leave.’

Ah, Mila thought. It all made sense now.

Because when you had something like this, it was only natural not to want to let go of it.

“You know you can come to us for anything, right?” Jay asked, kissing the top of her head lightly.

Mila bit her lip.

Since her fainting incident, the boys had been a lot more attentive to her than usual, if that was even possible. And while she was grateful for it — God, she’s never been more grateful for anything in her life than to have them — she couldn’t help the feeling of guilt in her stomach whenever she thought of the pain they had to go through whenever they were with her.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m just… I’m sorry.”

Jungwon frowned, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. It was times like this where his age showed — the times when it felt like he never wanted to let go of Mila, like a child clutching tightly to their security blanket.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that,” Jungwon said. “Just please… Talk to us, okay?”

Mila closed her eyes for a moment, before signing softly. She lifted her head, silently asking for Jay to let her sit up. And he did. Mila looked across the room at the boys, all of them watching her with varied expressions — but with one thing in common.

Love.

“Still,” Mila said. “I feel like… I think I still have to apologise.” She laughed dryly, fiddling with Sunoo’s fingers, as he sat beside her. “I just find it so hard to open up to people… but- but I should have known that if there was anyone I could open up to, it would be you all.”

The room was silent as the boys exchanged glances. They couldn’t say that they hadn’t noticed the same thing, too. They couldn’t remember the first person who pointed it out, but before debuting — before I-Land — there was such a thing that they had heard about Mila.

She was the famed ‘princess’ — the trainee from China with unreal visuals. Anyone who had the privilege of talking to her could say that, despite her still developing Korean, she was a pleasure to chat with. And yet…

‘Mila is easy to get along with,’ a trainee once said, ‘but hard to get close to.’

And the boys agreed; getting close to her was no easy feat. But slowly, one step at a time, it felt like they were getting somewhere. That she had seemed to be letting them in.

“I want to be open with you though,” Mila said, her eyes trained on Sunoo’s fingers. “I think… I’m just not used to having so many people to talk to. Or anyone. And I… I don’t know, I just— I’m so scared that one day you’ll realise I’m not the perfect girlfriend or that happy girl that you fell in love with…” Mila’s eyes grew distant, as if she were visiting a far away place in her mind.

“You don’t need to be perfect,” Sunghoon said. “None of us are. And that’s okay.”

Mila frowned. “But what if it’s not okay anymore? What if one day, you’ll all just…”

Sunoo frowned as Mila spoke. “We’ll just what?” he asked gently.

“That you’ll just leave.”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat. She mentally cursed in frustration at the language barrier that prevented her from communicating the depth of how she felt. Because there was so much she wanted to say, and yet the only thing she could say could only show the mere tip of the iceberg that was her mind. 

The boys shared saddened looks, and her heart clenched in her chest.

“We’re not leaving,” Jay said. “I know it’s a lot to promise, but we don’t ever want to leave you. All we want in return is for you to let us know what goes on in this pretty little head, okay?”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat.

The others didn’t add anything, because Jay had already said what they felt. And even if he hadn’t, it already showed. Mila couldn’t say she was a mind-reader, but their actions today spoke volumes. She wanted them to know, too, what they meant to her.

And so, for the first time in maybe forever… Mila found herself reaching out first.

“Remember that time I mentioned I didn’t have a dad?”

The boys immediately nodded. They could never forget that moment. It was an eye-opener to just how little they really knew about their little ray of sunshine — a metaphorical slap in the face if there ever was one.

It was during I-Land, one of the peaceful times where they were simply relaxing in the living room, sprawled out on the couches as they talked the daylight away. She had been talking animatedly with Daniel about something, and she had off-handendly said that she wished she could introduce him to her parents, to show off the adorable little brother she had gained.

‘Would your parents approve of me?’ Daniel had asked. To which Mila replied, ‘Of course! My mum would love you!’

Daniel’s natural response had been to ask, ‘What about your dad? Would he like me?’

And imagine the surprise of the boys when they heard her next words.

‘I don’t know,’ Mila replied nonchalantly — perhaps too nonchalantly. ‘I don’t have one.’

“I remember that,” Jake said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Until then, I didn’t realise that whenever someone asked about your parents, you only ever mentioned your mum.” Jay frowned, regretful that he hadn’t noticed sooner why she deliberately avoided the use of the term ‘parents’.

“Right. It wasn’t your fault, though. I never really gave anything away.” Mila laughed dryly. “Now that I think about it, I’ve always been pretty good at avoiding talking about myself. I guess I didn’t want anyone to get too close.”

“What about now?” Riki asked curiously.

Mila smiled. “Of course it’s different now. Because I have you.” The boys smiled fondly at her, and she found herself sighing. “I never really talked about it, because I didn’t know what to say. But I used to think that there was no point missing something I never really had… I mean, when my parents split up, I was still really young. I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

When Mila looked in the mirror, she saw a spitting image of her mother. Everything about Mila was so much like her mother that she had, at some point, convinced herself she was entirely her mother’s daughter. That in the same way that Mila’s mother had raised her alone, she too had been made alone. Though she knew she wasn’t.

As a little girl, Mila would be able to picture someone with a similar face to her brother’s, but more mature and aged; a more roughened version of her brother, who didn’t have the soft beauty that both Bai children inherited from their mother’s side. And if she tried hard enough, little Mila could see a set of dimples like her own, which seemed to be the only feature she didn’t share with her mother, and as such could have only come from the man that helped create her.

But one day, when Mila had grown old enough to forget, Mila found herself unable to imagine anything but a shadow. A blurred outline of a figure that wasn’t there. The only thing she could remember when she thought of him was a single memory of her hiding beneath covers with her brothers as two voices argued in the living room. And then the sound of the door being thrown open and slammed shut.

That was when Mila knew that he was truly gone from her life — if he was even truly part of it, to begin with.

“My mum raised me and my brother fine on her own. And my grandparents were there too, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t loved. I didn’t need him in my life. In fact, we were all happier without him.”

Mila frowned.

“But when I think about it now… I realised something. It’s like everything wrong with me was caused by him not being there… Because one day he was there, and then the next my mum told me he was going far away...” Mila blinked as the boys watched her with saddened eyes. And without even realising it, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “And then he never came back. And I didn’t know why, but him leaving… it…”

Mila couldn’t help the way her shoulders shook from the withheld emotions she was trying to keep locked up, like a dam only just being held back from a broken gate.

Mila didn’t hate her so-called father. He didn’t mean enough — wasn’t there enough — for her to associate any emotions to him other than cold detachment. But she did blame him. She blamed him for making her mother raise two kids alone. She blamed him for making her feel like they — that she — wasn’t good enough to make her stay. She blamed him for a lot of things. But what she blamed him the most for was making her crave affection and love so desperately… yet being too scared letting others close, in fear that they would be like him — that they too would turn their backs on her.

Mila, above all else, blamed her father for making her a coward like him.

“I just don’t understand why someone who isn’t even here can mess me up so badly…” Mila sobbed. “I hate it.”

“Oh, love…” Heeseung frowned, as Mila sniffled, her breath coming out in broken sobs.

The boys could only watch with heavy hearts as Mila continued to pour out her heart to them in what had to be one of her most vulnerable moments so far. They had never dared to ask about Mila’s situation with her parents, knowing that it might be a sore point for her to remember, even if she had constantly assured them that ‘it was fine’ and that she had ‘gotten over it’. But they never could have imagined this. That the reason she had been so scared of losing them, of them leaving her, was because she had already been left. By a man who, by nature, was supposed to love and cherish her above anything else in the world.

They were filled with a mixture of heartbreak, fierce protectiveness and anger, caused by someone they hadn’t even met. They couldn’t comprehend how anyone would be foolish enough to throw away the gift that was Mila… And yet, they could only thank her fool of a father for doing what he did — because he had given them the chance to appreciate the very thing he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon said as he rubbed the girl’s back. “Oppa’s here now.” He kissed her forehead, as Jay cradled the back of her head. “We’re all here now.”

That was all the boys needed as a cue to wrap Mila in their warmth, holding her close to them, whispering sweet words into her ear, so that she would know — even if they couldn’t express with words — just how much she meant to them. And that they, no matter what happened in the past and no matter how long it took to make her understand, were here for her. They would always be here for her.

They were here to stay.

MILA WAS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR WITH THE WORD ‘SECOND’. She was the second-born child, second best, and also second choice on many occasions. And she was reminded of it at the worst of times.

She vaguely remembered a scene from her childhood, where she left her room because of a nightmare that woke her up, only to overhear her mother crying on the phone.

‘They’re having a baby,’ Her mother had said into the phone, sobbing madly. ‘It’s hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already starting a new family. What about my kids, huh? What will they think of they find out their dad is out there happy and raising another kid when he couldn’t even stay for them?’

Like that, Mila had unknowingly found out the reason that her house was missing one person, why their family photos now had tears in them from the forceful removal of one of the figures. And that day must have cemented Mila’s fate. It seemed Mila was her mother’s daughter, through and through — in the best and worst way possible. Because it seemed that no matter how beautiful they were, how kind or gentle they were, they were both doomed to be second to another woman in the eyes of the men they loved.

And the funny thing was, if it was Kiara Park, Mila couldn’t even argue about the fairness of it. Because Mila understood why any person would choose Kiara over her. Depressingly enough, she had even accepted it.

Mila remembered during I-Land, when the older female was considered one of the top trainees. Period. Gender was irrelevant when it came to someone as talented and skilled as Kiara. During those days, Mila could feel that familiar twist in her gut whenever she realised just how wide the gap was between the two of them, and how — despite walking towards the same dream — they seemed to be on severely different paths from one another.

One of them was consistently ranked at the top of every mission alongside the Ace trainee himself, earning the respect and awe of all other trainees. The other had spent more time in Ground than I-Land, weighed down by constant doubt over whether she was there for her visuals rather than her merit.

Mila had envied the older female just as any other girl would. She was everything Mila wanted to be — beautiful, strong, and confident in herself. And being older, Kiara automatically had an air of maturity that Mila — no matter how hard she tried to replicate it — severely lacked. Once, Mila had made a poor joke that if Kiara was fine wine, then she was grape juice, because Mila was every sense of the word immature. She was jealous, clingy, and painfully inexperienced. Everything Kiara was not.

The only similarity the two girls seemed to share — other than being the only female members in Enhypen — was that both of them were (or, in Kiara’s case, was) in a romantic relationship with one Lee Heeseung. The difference there was that one of them was Heeseung’s first choice.

And once again, it wasn’t Mila.

“Why couldn’t it be me?”

Heeseung froze, the smile on his face falling when Mila had finally asked the question she had been wanting to ask for so long. Because it didn’t make sense to Mila that after being with someone like Kiara, he would be able to settle with her. And it was unfair to her to doubt him, to question his loyalty, but this irrational feeling, brought to her by years of feeling worthless — subpar, second place, not good enough — made her wonder why he was still here, holding her to his chest as they lay on his bed, like she were the most precious thing in the world.

“Baby,” Heeseung said softly, as Mila’s eyes teared up. “What’s wrong?”

Mila sniffled as Heeseung gently brushed his thumbs against her now wet cheeks.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

Heeseung frowned, his eyes full of worry. If he could get rid of her shadiness, he would; he would do anything to make her happy. And he hated that she looked so lost and broken in his arms, without a clue as to why she looked that way.

“What hurts, baby?” He gently pushed. “What’s making you sad?”

“It hurts that I wasn’t the first option,” Mila said with a small voice. Mila inhaled sharply. “Why couldn’t I get you to love me first? Why couldn’t I get to you before Eonnie did?”

Mila had tried so hard to leave it in the past. But she had already unlocked so many memories of the past by opening up to the boys about her childhood, by letting them into that space she hadn’t shown anyone else. And now those thoughts that she ran away from could finally catch up to her.

Heeseung felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. Mila had been so worried about them leaving her, but all he could think about was how he always managed to — directly or indirectly — cause her pain. And it hurt like nothing else ever could to know that he had done this to her, even unintentionally. Especially after finding out just what she went through growing up.

Whenever Heeseung thought of the image of a younger Mila, lost and alone, he wanted nothing more than to sweep her up and hug her to his chest, telling her that it would be okay. That she didn’t have to grow up fearing closeness or affection. That when she got older, she would meet seven people who would love her like she always deserved, as long as she let them.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t spare her the pain that she had carried with her all these years. All he could do was make up for it with the time they had together.

Starting now.

“Trust me when I say that I loved you for a long time,” Heeseung said. “And everyday I regret that I didn’t realise it earlier. Because the whole time I spent with someone I didn’t even like romantically, I could have spent it with you, holding you like this…” He cradled her head with one hand and the other hand grabbing her smaller hand in his. “Kissing you like this…” He kissed away the tears on Mila’s cheeks. “I could have had you faster, and saved you from hurting like you are now. But I was blind and didn’t even realise it until I almost lost you for good. You were always enough, my love. It was never your fault. You were— are— everything I want and need.”

‘You were always enough.’ ‘It was never your fault.’ Mila hadn’t realised just how long she was waiting to hear those words — from anyone. She didn’t realise just how much she wanted to be told that she — as flawed as she was — was still enough. And yet, just as always, Heeseung knew exactly what to say, and what she needed to hear.

Mila blinked away the tears in her eyes, her heart feeling lighter than it had before. “Really?”

“Really.” Heeseung squeezed Mila’s hand before lifting her to where his heart was, resting her palm flat against it. “Do you feel that?”

Mila nodded as she felt his strong heartbeats against his chest. 

“That’s yours.”

Mila’s breath caught in her throat, her own heart fluttering in her chest, despite her previous state of despair. Heeseung smiled softly as he looked into Mila’s eyes, his own sparkling with adoration that made Mila feel as if she were the only girl in the world.

Did this man even know what he was promising her? Just how much he was placing in her hands? If so, Mila realised she was more foolish than she originally thought. Because no one could ever give away something so precious to someone who didn’t mean just as much — if not more.

“No matter what happened in the past, just know that this—“ (Heeseung rubbed his thumb against the back of Mila’s palm.) “—is yours now. And it always will be. No one else’s. You’re more than ‘first’ — you’re my last. You’re my one and only. You’re it for me, baby.”

When Heeseung looked in Mila’s eyes to see that dazzling look he had grown to love, he knew that he would do anything to keep it. He had given his heart to her already — he would give everything else he had as well.

“I love you,” Mila whispered.

Heeseung smiled. “I love you too.”

Without another word, he leant down and pressed his lips to hers, cherishing the feeling of her soft lips against his. By the time they seperated, the only words they had for each other were the desperate ‘I love you’ that spilled from their lips, which sought each other out like they were lost without them. Then they remained there, no words shared — only kisses and warmth.

And that was enough for Mila.

She was enough.

MILA MISSED HER CHILDHOOD. Not necessarily in the sense that she would relive it, but more so because she knew that she didn’t spend it as she should have. Now she was an adult with a career that didn’t allow her the same freedoms as she had back then, and she found herself wishing she hadn’t been so hard on herself. That she let herself have more fun, that she made more friends, that she played more often. That she let herself be a child.

But she had always been harsh on herself. Even then.

Mila remembered anxiously picking at her vegetables on the rare day that her mother finished work early — because of course her mother had to eat dinner with them on the day that Mila would rather be alone.

‘I heard the results came out today,’ her mother said. ‘How did it go?’

And Mila instantly knew how it would end.

Just like always, her brother had done perfectly. Because when did he not? Top of his class, every teacher’s favourite student, star player on the basketball team, everyone’s role model — including herself. And Mila could wish all she wanted that one day, he might do a little less perfectly, so that she could feel better about not being as smart or sporty or charismatic as him. But then she would hate herself even more, for wishing failure upon her own flesh and blood.

So, she could only quietly eat her food, her head lowered, as her brother continued to talk about the praise he had received from his teachers. And in return, their mother glowed with pride, showering him with compliments.

‘How did I give birth to such a smart son?’ their mother gushed as she liked his plate with the best dishes. ‘Eat more. You need to eat well to replenish all your energy. Actually— why don’t I ask Aunty to make your favourite snacks tonight? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if she heard how well you did.’

‘No need for that, Mama,’ Mila’s brother replied. ‘I’m fine just being able to eat dinner with you and Baobao.’

And Mila’s mother smiled lovingly, pride clear on her eyes. ‘Baobao’ was Mila’s family nickname; a name that meant ‘treasure’. But at times like this, Mila wondered if she was really worthy of such a name — when her brother seemed to shine brighter than she ever could.

Mila could already imagine her mother going to work the next day, bragging to her coworkers about her exceptional son, who was born gifted and talented — and Mila wondered if there was ever a time that her mother had done the same for her. That maybe, there was something worthy about her otherwise mediocre daughter that she could praise to the skies about.

But that was probably impossible, wasn’t it?

‘What about you, Baobao?’ Mila’s mother asked. ‘How were you exams?’

Mila bit her lip as she thought of her highest score — the 92 she had gotten on her English test — and then remembered her brother saying his lowest score was a 93. Even her best couldn’t match her brother’s worst. How sad was that?

‘It was so-so,’ she replied, before setting down her chopsticks. She forced a smile to avoid suspicion. ‘Thank you for the food. I’m finished eating now.’

And without another word, she excused herself from the table.

Mila cried herself to sleep that night — as she did on many nights — wondering when she would ever be able to do something to receive the same praise and recognition her brother did. She chased it so desperately that she threw her youth away. When she wasn’t at cheerleading practise, she was at her desk; and when she wasn’t at her desk, she was at school club meetings. Then when Mila became a trainee, it was like history repeated itself. She put hours upon hours into practice, never resting until she knew she had gotten everything perfect. And if she was anything less than perfect, she simply put in more. More hours, more sweat, more tears.

And it was happening all over again. Her face behind in her arms as she lay on her desk, overwhelmed by the papers scattered around her.

It was her day off, as five of the members (Kiara, Heedeung, Jungwon, Jay and Riki) were filming for a variety shoot. So, she had been locked up in her room for hours by that point, determined to make use of her free time to catch up on the school work that she missed. But looking at content on top of more content, her brain had already reached its breaking point, and no matter how much she looked at the materials in front of her, the only thing she could think was that she was just so tired.

And that was when Jake walked in to see her crying.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t understand,” Mila replied in frustration. “No matter what I do, I can’t get it,” she said quietly. “I feel so stupid.”

“Shhh… hey, hey,” Jake said softly, kneeling in front of Mila and cupping her cheek. “Don’t say that, okay? You’re not stupid. You’re just having a slump. And that’s okay. Because you’ll pick yourself back up again.”

Mila sniffled. “But everyone else is already so ahead of me.” It was like she was a child all over again, chasing after her brother’s legacy. “It’s like I’m the only one lagging behind.”

Jake sighed, his eyes sad for the girl in front of him. He had always admired her ethic to improve — but he often wished she could be kinder and more patient with herself, as she was to others.

“You’re not behind. You just need more take time, and that’s okay. Not everyone gets it in right away— but what matters is you’ll get it eventually.” Mila nodded as she took in Jake’s words, feeling slightly better about her lack of progress. Jake smiled encouragingly. “You’ve been working so hard the past few days,” he said, “it’s time for a break.” He got up and started to pull her out of her seat. “Come on.”

“What?” Mila shook her head. “But I have to finish this.”

“You can finish it later,” Jake replied. “You have all the time in the world. That’s enough to give yourself a break and come back, when you can think clearer.”

Mila bit her lip as Jake called out to Sunghoon and Sunoo, the only other remaining members in the dorm. “Get ready!” he yelled. “We’re taking Mila on a date!”

Mila couldn’t protest anymore. Not when Sunoo and Sunghoon later joined Jake in nagging her, before threatening to carry her to the car themselves. Embarrassed by the mere thought of it, Mila immediately agreed to do what they wanted and let them take her out on a date at the mall. They had just gotten food to eat, when Sunoo noticed the arcade, which in turn made Mila excited.

“Can we go there?” she asked excitedly, tugging on Sunghoon’s and Jake’s sleeve. “Please?”

Taking one look at her pleasing eyes, the boys knew they didn’t have the heart in them to say no. Jake, who Jay had told to be back at the dorms by a certain time so they could all have dinner together, could have said no. Maybe Mila would have pouted a little about it, but they would be able to sweet-talk her and bribe her with the promise of chocolates. 

And yet, without a second of hesitation, he and Sunghoon immediately agreed, letting the girl drag them into the arcade by the sleeves while Sunoo skipped beside them. It was dangerous just how much they were willing to do for her and let her get away with. But it was no secret that they were down bad for their girlfriend — and they weren’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Which is how they ended up following her around after getting their tokens, watching her attempt various different games.

“Wah, that looks cute!” Mila said as she pointed to a crane machine, full of mini plushies. “I’m going to try to get one.”

Mila slipped a token into the coin slot, before grabbing the controls of the machine. 

“Don’t you have too many already?” Sunoo teased.

Mila laughed. “You can never have too many.” She returned her attention to the machine before manoeuvring the hook so that it hovered above a small bunny plush. “I’m going to go for the bunny.”

“Move a little to the left,” Jake said. 

“No, no,” Sunghoon disagreed, “you’re fine where you are.”

Mila furrowed her eyebrows. “Huh? Then do I move left or stay here?”

“Move left.” “Stay there.”

Sunghoon and Jake exchanged looks.

“Just do whatever!” Sunoo interjected. “Don’t listen to them. They’re bad at this game anyway.”

“No I’m not!” The two exclaimed in unison.

“Here.” Sunghoon put a hand on the small of Mila’s back before moving to stand behind her, placing his hands over hers as he helped her manoeuvre the controls. “I’ll help you.”

“Ayeeeee,” Sunoo and Jake chorused teasingly.

Sunghoon smiled shyly, a complete contrast to the confidence in his aura as he helped Mila to coordinate. As soon as he found a good angle at which to drop the crane, he told Mila to press the buttons. And the four of them watched as the crane descended, grabbing onto the bunny’s neck.

“Oh— it’s working, it’s working!” Sunoo announced as the crane successfully picked up the bunny. But halfway to the drop zone, it suddenly fell, causing them all to groan in disappointment.

Mila sighed. “Ah, it was so close…” 

Seeing her disappointed expression, Jake immediately jumped in. “Let me try.” Sunghoon moved aside and let Jake take his spot, watching as Jake did the same movements as he did before. “Okay, try pressing the button now.”

Mila did as Jake said and pressed the button. However, just like before, it only made it halfway. The four of them — too invested in the claw game — stood there for goodness knows how long, trying to get the plushie, until Mila decided to do it herself.

“Okay, last time! Here we go!”

Mila bit her lip in concentration, her eyes fixed solely on the machine in front of her. Sunoo, who was standing beside her, watching with fond eyes, taking in all her features as she remained fixated. It was just like her to be so focused on her goals, and this time, he was glad that even if she never did lose her tunnel vision, she was using it for something other than work.

Mila watched in anticipation as the crane lifted to the bunny, breath baited as she watched it travel over the other plushies below on its way to the drop zone. And when the bunny made it all the way to the end, she couldn’t help her jump for joy.

“I did it!” she yelled before turning to her lovers. “I got it! I got it!”

The boys laughed as Mila excitedly grabbed the bunny from the tray.

“Good job,” Sunghoon baby-talked.

Jake patted her head, as Sunoo clapped.

“It’s cute,” Sunoo said as Mila held it up.

“It kinda looks like you,” Sunghoon added.

Jake laughed. “Right?”

Mila laughed. By that moment, Mila had already forgotten about the sheets on her desk back at the dorm. She had spent so much time on tests and evaluations already, she realised she needed this break. At times like this, Mila realised just how much was out there. How beautiful life could be when she stopped obsessing about numbers on a piece of paper, or the approval of fickle-hearted people who could care less about who she was and what she went through. Especially when she could amend time with the people she loved instead.

This moment right here?

It made her happier than a 100 on any test could.

LONELINESS WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MILA’S. It wasn’t like Mila didn’t have anyone who cared. Quite the opposite, in fact. She knew her mother loved her, and she knew her older brother would do anything to keep her safe. But when you were a child who had been convinced that you were a nuisance for wanting comfort — by someone who you barely even knew — you just learnt not to ask for anything more than what you already had.

‘Aiya, what are you doing out of bed?’ The housemaid asked one night, when a young Mila would wander out of her room, clutching a stuffed bunny in her arms.

‘I wanted to sleep with Mama,’ Mila replied.

The housemaid clicked her tongue, and put her hands on her hips, looking down at the young girl with a reprimanding stare. ‘Your mama only just got back home from a long day at work, ah. She needs sleep, but she can’t do that if she has to look after you. Do you want Mama to be tired in the morning?’

Mila immediately shook her head. ‘No.’ She looked down at the floor in shame, before asking, ‘Then can I sleep with Gēgē instead?’

The housemaid sighed. ‘Your older brother is tired from studying so hard, unlike you. You shouldn’t disturb his sleep.’ The housemaid held out a hand. ‘Here. Aunty will tuck you in.’

Mila hesitantly took the older woman’s hand, barely even holding on to it. But the woman didn’t seem to mind as she hurriedly escorted Mila to her room. The older woman had barely put the sheets up to Mila’s chin before she was bidding her goodnight and turning the lights off, shutting the door before Mila could even protest.

Mila turned on the bedside light beside her and screwed her eyes shut, forcing herself back to sleep. And the next morning, when she woke up, feeling as if she had barely slept at all, she took one look at her older brother, who had been diligently reading a book at the dining table, while the housemaid smiled fondly and served his breakfast; and then at her mother’s seat at the table which, like always, was empty at this time. And at that moment, Mila realised that maybe she really was just a nuisance. Because everyone seemed to have more important things to worry about than her.

That’s why Mila looked forward to the weekends more than anything — because then the whole family would be complete, and they would spend time together like families usually did. Her mother would take her and her brother to the park, and the two would play tag and other games. And she could pretend for a second that she wasn’t lonely, that she wasn’t desperate for just a little more affection.

But then time passed, her brother finally outgrew his little sister, and her mother had deemed her old enough to look after herself. Then Mila was by herself more than she wasn’t. And so, Mila learnt to enjoy the times she spent in the living room, alone, while she quietly watched her favourite shows on the television; or the times sitting by herself at the dinner table, with nothing but the sound of her chopsticks clicking against the dishes. Because there was nothing else she could really do about it.

But things were different now. Because the thing about the Enhypen dorms was that it was never quiet for long.

“Yah!” The sound of Sunoo’s yell was the first thing Mila woke up to. “Who used my lotion?”

“It wasn’t me!” came Jake’s reply. “Ask Sunghoon!”

Mila could just barely make out Sunghoon’s tired voice asking, “Why are you blaming me?”

With a giggle, Mila rubbed the sleep away from her eyes. But just as she made a move to stretch her arms over her head, she suddenly became aware of the other person occupying her bed and restraining her in a tight hug.

Riki groaned, nuzzling his face into Mila’s neck. “Don’t go…”

Mila laughed and did the best she could to pay his head as he clung to her side. His leg was thrown over Mila’s waist, and his arms over her chest, taking up almost all the space on Mila’s bed, leaving only a fraction of it to her. And yet, Mila couldn’t find it in her to be mad about it. Because she figured, she would rather be squished on a bed from having to fit two people, than to take up the entire space by herself.

“Bǎobèi,” Mila said with a mock stern voice, softened by the use of the pet name meaning ‘Baby’. “You need to wake up before Sunoo comes in here and scolds you for using his lotion again.”

Riki whined and squeezed Mila tighter. There was a reason why Mila was his favourite sleeping buddy. And it happened to be because: one, she was the perfect size to cuddle — like a life-sized teddy bear — and just as soft; and two, as much as he hated to admit it, he loved the way she would baby him in the mornings. He didn’t know that Mila treasured his cuddles just as much as he treasured having her in his arms. But he was just glad she was one of those people she let in — that he could be close to her in ways that some people would never get the chance.

Maybe Mila had been lonely, but Riki would always be here to show her that she could always count on him for company.

Riki furrowed his eyebrows when there was a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice. “Noona.”

“Wonnie?” Mila asked, her eyes brightening. Riki groaned, rolling his eyes as she said, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal Jungwon, his dimples appearing with the way he smiled so widely, and his  eyes holding a galaxy of emotion. Riki could recognise that look anywhere, because it was the same one that he — that they all — had when they looked at Mila. As if she were the only girl in the world, the only thing that mattered. Perhaps Mila was the only one who didn’t see it. But that was okay. Because they had all the time in the world to show her.

“Yah,” Jungwon said to Riki, poking his side. “Get up. You got to cuddle her the whole night.”

Riki scoffed. He haughtily turned his head away from the elder and pouted as he clung on to Mila. “Don’t want to.”

Jungwon scrunched up his nose in distaste before turning to Mila, who watched the two with fondness on her eyes. She couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered, knowing that they valued her company enough to bicker about it. And her smile only grew when Jungwon pulled out those kittenish pleasing looks of his that he knew she could never resist.

“Darling, can you tell him to go away?” Jungwon asked. “I want to cuddle with you now.”

Mila laughed, before holding out a hand to him. “Then come here. We can all cuddle together.”

Riki smirked smugly, knowing that Mila would never kick him off of her bed. (Or any of them for that matter— but he just wanted bragging rights.) Jungwon looked mildly displeased at the thought of not getting Mila to himself, but then the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement as Jungwon’s eyes flickered with mischief.

As Mila was lying closest to the wall, Jungwon would have to get over Riki first. And being petty as he was, Jungwon — all decorum of a leader cast aside  —  stepped over him, purposely digging his foot into the younger’s side. A look that could only be described as a smug cat-like grin crossed Jungwon’s face when Riki yelped in pain, clutching his side. In the short window of time that Riki’s arm wasn’t on Mila, Jungwon lay himself on top of her, his head on her chest.

“Hyung!” Riki said indignantly. “That hurt!”

Jungwon simply stuck out his tongue before nuzzling his face into Mila’s — or rather, Sunoo’s — hoodie. He sighed in content when Mila’s hand immediately went to his locks, unaware that the other was gently rubbing Riki’s “hurt” side.

“Are you okay?” Mila asked, as Riki scrunched his nose up.

The younger glared at the elder, who was purposely hogging as much of Mila as possible. Feeling petty, he kicked Jungwon’s foot. 

“Yah, hyung, stop hogging and move over.”

Jungwon huffed. “Don’t want to.”

“Moveeee,” Riki whined, before looking at Mila with a helpless look.

Mila laughed. “Okay, okay. Move over a bit.”

Riki immediately did what Mila said and moved to the edge of the bed. Mila then tapped Jungwon’s back and instructed him to squeeze in between Mila and the wall. Just like that, Mila was in between two extremely clingy males who latched onto her like koalas.

“Better?” Mila asked.

“Eung,” both boys replied.

There was a short silence before Jungwon then added, “It would be better if Niki wasn’t here, though.”

Riki’s head shot up. “Then leave.”

Mila sighed as the two went back and forth. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to be truly mad. Because how could she, when it showed just how much they cherished her? They found comfort in her, as she did in them. And that alone was enough to fill her with contentment.

“I’m her favourite, anyway,” Riki said.

Jungwon clicked his tongue. “No, you’re not.”

“Who’s the one who got to cuddle her last night?”

“That’s only because it was your turn. Remember that it’s my turn tonight, so you’re not allowed anywhere near her bed.”

Mila laughed.

Yes, the Enhypen dorms were loud. Yes, there was bickering and petty fighting. And yes, sometimes Mila worried that the walls might fly off with how noisy things could get. But Mila wouldn’t have it any other way.

If anything, it just reminded her she wasn’t alone.

MILA HAD ALWAYS BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON. It wasn’t something she was proud of, nor which she liked to admit. But it was true. And it had to be her tragedy that there was always someone out there with something she wanted, but never really had — especially as a kid.

Other children envied the fact that Mila always had a pretty set of shoes and dresses to wear; a different hair clip in her hair every day, a pencil case full of assorted crayons and coloured pencils of the best brand; a shiny car, and not to mention the best snacks for lunch. But they didn’t realise she envied them, too.

Mila wondered if those kids from her youth realised now that Mila would have traded her store-bought food in a heartbeat for their homemade lunches. That even if she had shiny fancy hair clips and pretty dresses, it wasn’t her mother (who was always gone by the time Mila woke up for school) who helped her into them, but something she had learned to do herself, instead. And Mila couldn’t care less about the shiny car that came to pick her up after school, because unlike the other kids, she knew her dad wouldn’t be stepping out of it, smiling, and opening his arms for her to run straight into them.

Instead, Mila would only wait awkwardly in her classroom, watching as her classmate’s father picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

‘How was my princess’ day?’ Her classmate’s father asked. And then Mila’s classmate showed him the picture she painted that day, of her happy family, to which her father beamed and said, ‘Wow, you drew this? It’s too good to be a pre-schoolers. Why don’t we get ice cream as a treat?’

Mila could only watch in envy as the father- daughter pair left the classroom in a fit of giggles and laughter, just as her chauffeur appeared at the door, gesturing impatiently for her to follow him. Then Mila followed him with rushed steps — scared of annoying him if she took too long — her own painting that she had drawn that day folded and forgotten inside her backpack.

But that was okay, Mila thought. She knew her mother was busy at work, and with playing the role of two parents, so it was hard for her to be there for Mila; and her grandparents lived in a different city, so it wasn’t like she could stay with them either. So she would just have to go home as she usually did, waiting until the time her brother finished training so that she wasn’t alone.

And Mila accepted that. She had gotten used to it. Because she hadn’t known anything else… Until she gained so much more.

“Ayeeeeee!”

Mila had just finished putting on her backpack, she was startled by the jostling of her classmates who had erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. Confused, she looked up to find the source of the sudden rowdiness. And there he was. Jay, standing at the door in his uniform and coat, with a smile on his face.

Mila could only smile back, fondness filling her chest. She knew there a bunch of envious gazes and excited whispers going through the classroom, but she didn’t notice them. All she could see was him, waiting to pick her up from class himself.

“Don’t make the poor man wait,” her classmate said teasingly. “He looks like he’s dying to run up to you right now.”

Without a quick goodbye, Mila skipped up to Jay happily, his eyes brightening with each step she took towards him. When she got to him, his hand immediately found her bag strap, a soft smile on his face.

“Let me carry it,” he said, taking the bag from Mila before she could protest.

Mila giggled. “I can carry my own bag.”

“I know,” Jay replied while chuckling. “But let me do this for you, okay?”

Jay didn’t know if Mila knew just how much it meant to him, having her rely on him for these kinds of things, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed. He knew that if she didn’t want his help, he would have no choice but to respect her decision — and yet, at the same time he couldn’t help the feeling in his chest whenever he looked at her and her bright eyes. The feeling of doing anything and everything for her. For no reason at all except that she deserved it.

Even before Jay knew anything about her childhood — and the empty gap waiting to be filled — he had already promised himself to be someone she could depend on. And now that urge only grew stronger.

“What do you want for lunch?” Jay asked gently as he brushed a strand of hair from Mila’s face. “We have time to get some food to eat before we go back to the dorms.” Noticing Mila’s hesitant lip bite, he added, “Get anything. I don’t mind.”

Mila hummed. “In that case… Is it okay if we go home to eat?” Mila asked shyly. “I really feel like having some of your cooking.”

Jay’s chest was filled with warmth, both pride and joy. He would do anything that she asked if it made her happy. But hearing that she wanted to have his cooking more than any other option made him wish that teleportation existed, so that he could get to the dorm and make something for her as quickly as they could.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll let Sunoo know to meet us at the car.”

Mila could only smile warmly, adoration shining in her eyes like sunlight through a painted glass window — full of vibrant colours that only love could make. The two of them walked side by side, their fingers brushing against each other, not too close as to avoid the curious eyes of their schoolmates.

“How was your day?” Jay asked, tugging her closer to him when a rowdy pair of male students ran past and switching sides with her so she was walking on the less crowded side of the hall.

Mila hummed, before she smiled upon remembering something. “It was good! During Math, one of the teachers asked me to solve the problem on the board — and it was hard at first, but I actually did it right!”

Jay beamed. “Really?” When Mila nodded happily, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. And when they finally reached the less crowded part of the school on the way to their van, Jay leant down to whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against the shell. “I’m so proud of you.”

Mila had almost cried then and there. She somehow made it to the van without shedding a tear. But that afternoon, when Mila sat at the dinner table with Jay next to her, holding chopsticks to her mouth, she really did cry. Her eyes watered, glassy with tears as Jay fed her the food that he had cooked just for her.

“Thank you,” Mila whispered, unable to say anything else. Because she didn’t want to apologise anymore. Jay deserved more than that. They all did. She was grateful for them. Grateful that they loved her. Grateful that she got the chance to love them in return.

And for a split-second, Mila wondered if Jay thought she was odd for crying out of nowhere. But of course, he didn’t. Because that was just who he was. That was Jay.

“Shhh, I know,” Jay whispered, wiping the tears off her face as she chewed on her food. He kissed her forehead and said, “It’s okay.”

And Mila believed him.

Jay was there, and so were the others. And she believed if they were together, then everything was going to be okay. Because the same way she promised — then and there — to do all she could for them, so too would they do the same for her. Would give the world if she asked, wrapped up in a bow. And if she lacked love before, then all they would have to do is make up for it with their own.

Because she was their girl now.

TAGLIST: @lanamoonroh @3amstarlight @nikitopia @one16core @onlyuyu @xinikons @clar-iii @shinrjj @nee-issaire @elizalabs3 @lol6sposts @cyberpunksunwoo @woonkies @wonsctz @euniceruiz11 @curly-fr13s

GIVE ME ONE MORE KISS 𖥔 PSH

𝗔𝗟𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗟𝗬──── 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈𝗑𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽

❪ 𝑃𝑅𝐸𝐶𝑖𝑆 ❫ ｡ 𝖾𝗇𝗁𝗒𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋 11O4wc 𖥔 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 ── 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 愛 ／ 𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒

する ܃ sorry for da late upload, practicals this week was too hectic :< for silly hoon girlies :0

reb𝑙ogs& ˊᗜˋ 𝑓eedbacks

“sunghoon— what are you doing? my parents will see us!” you hiss at him, giving him the look over your shoulders as your hands are already busy with the dishwashing.

sunghoon doesn't look the least bit fazed by your words. instead, he leans casually against the counter, his sharp features illuminated by the warm glow of the kitchen lights. his lips curls into a mischievous smirk as he tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes glinting with amusement.

“and if they do?” he teases, his voice low and smooth like velvet.

you shoot him another glare, but it lacks its usual intensity. sunghoon was insufferable when it came to obeying you, it's almost as if your instructions fall on deaf ears. “they won't like it if we're too… close,” you whisper urgently, glancing toward the doorway.

“that's unfair, and stupid,” sunghoon whines, he steps closer to you, standing just behind you. leaning forward, he whispers back, “can’t their future son in law be close to their daughter?”

your cheeks burn at his boldness, and you immediately turn back to the sink, furiously scrubbing a plate as though it had personally offended you. “stop being so cheeky,” you hiss, but your voice waver ever so slightly, betraying the effect he has on you.

“relax, princess,” he chuckles, the sound of his laughter making your heart skip beats. but what he does next, sends a shiver down your spine. he moves even closer to you, ultimately wrapping his hands around your lower abdomen, resting his chin upon your shoulder.

“sunghoon!” you shriek, “can you let me work in peace?”

“shh,” he murmurs, leaning down so his lips were near your ear. “i’m just helping.”

before you could finish, sunghoon reaches around you, his long fingers brushing yours as he picks up a wet plate from the drying rack. “drying,” he said simply, his tone far too innocent for someone who had you blushing like this.

you shake your head, biting back a smile. “you’re unbelievable.”

“and you’re adorable when you’re flustered,” he shoots back without missing a beat, making you groan in exasperation.

although you want to get used to this moment, to sunghoon holding you within his embrace and warmth, you want the clock to stop itself and freeze the time around the both of you. he brought smiles and giggles to your face so effortlessly each time, and it made you wonder if he'd like to do that the rest of your life.

but that's a question for tomorrow, for now, all you could tense about is your parents hustling in at any moment.

in an instant, you turn the tap water off, move the washed plates to the drying racks and turn to your annoying, yet lovely boyfriend. all the irritation that you prepared in your speech evaporates in the air like vapour, as soon as you meet sunghoons mellow eyes.

“enough now,” you gather yourself, softly pushing his hands away from your waist, “my parents will come in at any minute.”

he rolls his eyes at your statement, you both know it doesn't make any difference to park sunghoon, he just wants to cling to his girlfriend.

“so?” he cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, “im not going anywhere.”

you groan in frustration, your hands now resting on your hips as you face him, but the corner of your lips betrays the smile you’ve been trying to hold back.

“sunghoon…” you start, but his hand is already on your cheek, gently turning your face toward him.

“you don’t want me to go?” he asks, his voice low, teasing. and before you can even form a response, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

you gasp in surprise, but he doesn’t give you the chance to push him away. his lips move slowly against yours, and he pulls back just enough to whisper between kisses.

“you don't want me to go, do you?” he repeats, pulling you closer by your hips, once again snatching your next sentence to press the softest kisses on your lips. once, then twice, then scattering them all over your face.

you try to find your words, but the only thing that comes out is a breathless laugh. “i... i—”

he kisses you once more, his lips gently pressing against yours along with his body as he wraps you to himself, he moves his lips tenderly, before pulling away to leave you dizzy. “i’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” another kiss follows, and your thoughts scatter.

“sunghoon, stop it.” you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper as he moves in again, kissing you once more.

but his playful smirk only deepens as he kisses you again, this time even more passionately. “stop? why would i stop when you’re so cute when you try to resist?”

your heart races, and you’re almost overwhelmed with how good he feels against you. Every kiss makes your mind blank, and the tension in your body melts away, but your thoughts struggle to hold on. you want him to let go and go away, but at the same time, you want him here with you forever “my parents… they’ll—”

“they’ll deal with it, love,” he whispers back in an urgency. within a split of a second he’s back on your lips, arms holding you close like a fragile doll made of glass. you hold onto him as well, smiling into the kiss, as you feel sunghoon smile back into it.

you almost lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace, your hands instinctively moving to wrap around his neck. but just as you begin to give in completely, the faint sound of footsteps echoing down the hall snaps you back to reality.

you pull away just slightly, breathless, and look toward the door. “sunghoon… seriously, they’re coming.”

he looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but there’s something tender there too. he leans forward again, kissing you once more, and then pulls back, his forehead resting against yours.

just as the footsteps intensify and stop outside the kitchen door, almost like magic sunghoon stands beside you, normally, without any part of him lingering on your body or face. “good evening, sir!” he greets your dad with a coy smile.

“evening, young man,” your dad says in an uninterested tone, eyes narrowing, he asks, “i suppose your behavior towards my girl was apt, in the time we were gone.”

“of course,” he grins, taking a glance at you and then at your dad, before he blurts out, “nothing you need to worry about, sir.”

© BYWONS, 2024 / do not copy or repost without permission . div ctto

taglist────open tags in the reblogs ! network tag. @/k-labels @k-films @k-nets CLICK ME

ugh I love reading athlete jake fics at 1am

𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒.

✰ PAIRING. quarterback!best friend!jake x fem!bff!reader | FEATURING. jayhoon and le sserafim yunjin.

✰ TYPE OF AU. college!au + best friends to implied lovers (again… smh dani)

✰ GENRE. fluff. jake is down bad fr.

✰ TW. i have a v small to none american football knowledge since i just started watching some games here and there last season SOOOO apologies if some stuff is not accurate. jake calls reader "pretty" and "sweetheart." a kiss happens. nothing else that i can recall?? except that quarterback! jake is enough of a tw... him wearing an uniform... no one speak pls i Need time alone with my thoughts.

✰ WC. 2.2k words

dani’s podcast🎙️: people seeing me on their dashboards again like ohhh man, tumblr lost today folks😓😓 hashtag dani just go away!! but anyways :p let’s gaur !! // as always, feedback and comments are always welcomed and deeply appreciated ^_^!!

i wrote this one for my dear hara since she’s the biggest jake stan i know<33 so @sjyism this one’s back lol, mwah🫂💐

The loud chatting and the vibrating noise can be heard even from two blocks away, thousands of students dressed in your institute’s colors and some others using the rival’s pantone coming and going.

“I told you, Y/n,” Yunjin says beside you in despair, her arm linked with yours so she wouldn’t fall because of the rocky path. “I told you that we should’ve left earlier, but no! miss ‘I’m not sure if I should wear Jake’s jacket or not’ made us arrive late!”

You roll your eyes at your best friend’s nagging, finally visualizing the crowded place where the match would be taking over.

“Stop already, you know that Jay said he was saving us seats.”

You hear the blonde girl scoffing, “but we still had to walk a lot because we couldn’t find a place to park the car! Who’s fault is that, hm?”

“But we’re here already! Why are you nagging so much?”

Yunjin clicks her tongue in disapproval, giving you a side eye and muttering a “whatever” under her breath.

“You’re just lucky that I’m rooting for you and Jake, because if I wasn’t, I would’ve ended you.”

The mention of Jake for a consecutive time makes you more nervous about all of this, but hearing the joking tone in her voice, you just roll your eyes again in a playful manner.

“Whatever, let’s just find Jongseong.”

Standing at the bottom of the stands, you try to look around in search of the aforementioned boy without being successful, (“I’ll be wearing the school’s colors on both cheeks,” you hear Yunjin scoff at this. “Jay, everyone will be wearing those colors too.”) and Yunjin, being Yunjin, one of the most impatient persons you know, decides to phone the boy up instead.

Three beats after, Jay picks up.

“Hi Jay… Yes, we’re here–yes, where are you?” The girl stretches her neck a little bit so she can look around too, and frowns at hearing the boy’s answer. “Hey! You can’t nag at me! If anything, nag at miss lover girl!— I— Jay! Out of topic! just raise your fucking hand!— Or your banner, whatever,” the blonde girl scans the place again, and you finally see her smile while she points at someone sitting right on the first row of the bleachers. Directing your gaze there, you see a smiling Jay waving at the both of you. “Yes, I see you—Yes, bye.”

Your friend drags you by the hand, and after fighting —read: pushing back— people that would push you, and saying lots of “excuse me, I need to pass” sentences, you finally arrive with your black haired friend, Yunjin sitting on his right, while you sit on his left.

“Aye Jongseong, nice seats, first row and all,” Yunjin greets him, Jay just shrugs as he playfully raises both of his eyebrows at you.

“Of course, I did it for our lovestruck girl,” he slightly pushes your shoulder with his, laughing when he hears you scoffing. “Nice jacket, by the way.”

Jake went to your house on wednesday, the loveliest smile imprinted on his pretty features as he gave it to you and asked you to wear it for his weekend game.

You bite back a smile at the memory of your best friend looking at you with fondness behind his eyes. You told Jake you would definitely wear it, and he simply replied with a tight hug and a kiss on your temple. But now, as you were sitting while waiting for the game to start, you began thinking that this was a bad idea since everyone’s eyes were on you and the quarterback’s jacket you were wearing.

Uncomfortably shuffling around in your seat, you stare down at the oversized garment. “I’ve been the center of attention because of this jacket… Might as well just take it off–“

“What? No, you won’t!” Yunjin is quick to interrupt, putting a hand over your arm and shaking her head in denial. “Trust me, Jake will love it when he sees you wearing his jacket. Let people stare,” she shrugs, “at the end of the day, you’re the one that has Jake’s letterman jacket… and heart–“

“Enough,” you interrupt the blonde girl, a blush starting to raise to your cheeks. “I won’t take it off, just– don’t say that kind of stuff in public, what if someone else overhears? Jake and I are just best friends.”

Jay scoffs in annoyance, “yeah… If being best friends includes being down bad and throwing heart eyes all the time you look at each other.”

You feel the need to tell Jay off, to prove him wrong and explain that Jake and you were strictly best friends and only that.

But the feeling gets quickly disregarded and long forgotten as you start hearing the loud cheering when everyone caughts a glimpse of your university’s representative football team, making you go tunnel vision as you see the quarterback leading everyone while sporting the most beautiful smile ever.

You feel your heart do a somersault when you see your best friend looking around in search of something —more like someone— and when his eyes land on you, his eyes shine brighter and his smile widens at seeing your presence.

Everyone with two eyes would’ve seen the way your stares longed for each other, the both of you sharing a moment where no one else was invited to join.

The boy feels butterflies inside him at seeing you’re wearing his jacket proudly. He felt invincible now that he saw you were there for him and only him, cheering his name as you only dedicated him the prettiest of your smiles.

You thought you were hallucinating when you see him jogging your way, but when Jay elbows you and Yunjin gives you a not so subtle smile, it’s when you realize that the uniformed boy is now right in front of you, leaning his arms against the fence as he gives you a dazzling smile.

“Hey, pretty,” he calls for you as he extends his hand, you intertwine his fingers with yours. “Nice jacket.”

You giggle, “thanks, I came to support number two.”

“He must be a lucky guy, then.”

Jake’s eyes are especially shiny tonight, and the way he’s looking at you literally gives away the deep feelings the boy’s heart holds for you.

With his free hand, he cups your cheek, his eyes go down to your lips for a millisecond that it’s almost imperceptible to notice, and then, he nods at you.

Jake’s about to open his mouth to add something, when he hears his name getting called by his teammates. Rolling his eyes, he gives you a last glance.

“See you after the game?”

“Only if you win this one, dear quarterback,” you say jokingly, but Jake takes it as a challenge.

He’s quick to leave a kiss on the back of your hand to seal the promise, his toothy smile showing at seeing your cute blushing cheeks.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

You see the boy walking backwards towards his place. He’d like to stay with you, but he has to guide his team to the victory, so as he’s standing right beside his teammates, he just meets your eyes for a last time before the game starts, throwing a flying kiss your way along with a wink.

The girls around you are either shrieking and losing their mind, or just plain glaring at you, but being honest you couldn’t care less, still processing Jake’s antics that got displayed in front of everyone.

(You can hear Jay laughing at your flushed state, snickering along with Yunjin at seeing the scene develop. “So, what were you saying Y/n?” Yunjin rolls her eyes at the comment. “Shut up Jay, let her live her kdrama moment, best friends to lovers era.”)

There’s only one minute and thirty seconds more to go before the match is over, you’re anxiously picking at your nails and your elbows are leaning against your thighs. Jay, Yunjin and you are watching in expectation at how this match could turn out in the end.

You see your university’s team gathering up, Jake patting some of their backs in reassurance as he reminds them of their strategy on the field.

“I’m so nervous,” Jay mutters beside you, a hand combing his hair as he sighs deeply, “I don’t even like fucking football.”

“No, because same,” Yunjin nods, “I just came here as a plus one and I’m so invested now.”

You’d have laughed if this was a different situation, but the seriousness of the atmosphere just makes you nod in quietness. Getting a glimpse of the boys walking back to the field, Jake searches for your eyes again, immediately smiling when he sees you’re the one sending him a flying kiss, as if you’re letting him know you will always be there to cheer for him.

Turning around and jogging towards his formation while putting his helmet on, he immediately makes up his mind.

He was going to confess his feelings for you after he wins this one.

The narrator keeps explaining things that you can’t seem to completely understand, your eyes glued on the boy you came to see as he gives orders and numbers. And everything happens in a blur, Jake takes the ball and starts running, the crowd start cheering and screaming in expectation, Yunjin gets a hold of Jay’s arm and the boy gets a hold of yours.

A beat of white noise, and then, everyone’s standing up and screaming in excitement, including your friends, your university’s team is running towards Jake while celebrating, and you feel confused for a second, before the narrator screams into the mic.

“Another victory for Hybe’s U!”

“We won?” You stand up to meet your friends in a hug, your confused tone making Yunjin laugh.

“Yes! Your boyfriend scored a touchdown!”

“Great!… And what the fuck is that?”

Jay laughs too as he shrugs, the three of them raising their voices due to the loud sounds.

“The fuck we know! We just won!”

After jumping in excitement with your two friends, you quickly make your way towards the special quarterback that owns your heart so you can congratulate him yourself, wincing a little at seeing him almost at the center in a sea of people. You’re trying your best to reach out to him without having to push a lot of people, but it’s almost an impossible task when everyone is trying to catch his attention.

But again, to Jake, you’re not just everyone.

Glancing around, you find that his eyes are already looking at you, smiling when he finally finds you there.

Jogging his way to you, he’s quick to embrace you in his arms so he can spin you around, your arms encircling his neck and his heart doing a counterassault at hearing your joyful laugh.

Jake separates himself a little from you, his hands still on your waist as his eyes shine so bright that it looked like they held stars. His hair is all tousled around because of the helmet, the boy’s cheeks are kinda flushed and he’s sweaty due the game, but he still looks as gorgeous as ever. The breathless “hi there” that leaves his lips is laced with honey, his voice being soft just for you. You know that you shouldn’t act on your impulses, but the excitement that was still lingering inside your veins because of the events that just occurred and the way he’s smiling at you makes you cup his cheeks, closing the gap between you and capturing his lips into a sweet kiss.

You hear the small, surprised gasp that leaves his lips when you kiss him, but even if he’s shocked at your bold move, he still answers by tilting his head a little to deepen it, one of his hands raising to cup your cheek as the other pushes you closer to his chest.

You feel his teeth nibble softly on your bottom lip, but a wolf whistle coming from behind you, along with some cheering and clapping, reminds you that you’re still very much in public. You quickly separate from the boy, a hand coming to cover your mouth as Jake gives a side-eye towards his team members.

“Fucking finally!” A dark haired boy, who you identify as Sunghoon, cheers. “Now our quarterback is going to shut up about the massive crush he has on you!”

You see how the boy starts flushing at the teasing remark, making you coo in endearment while his teammates start sniggering at their quarterback’s reaction.

“Y’all better shut up right now if you don’t want me to make you run ten laps around the field next monday at practice!” Jake’s voice calls them out, his tone sounding threatening, but the corner of his lips fighting back a smile making it known that he was joking.

The other boys feign to look away from the both of you, making you laugh in the process. Jake directs his gaze again to you, cupping your face once more as his thumb pressed softly against your lower lip.

“So?”

You raise an eyebrow playfully at him. “So?”

Biting down on his lip, he cheekily smiles at you. “Does this mean that I can take you out on dates and finally call you mine?”

You giggle, raising your head to meet his lips in a quick peck. Jake’s eyes flutter a little bit at the feeling.

“I don’t know, did that kiss answers your question?”

Humming in feign thought, Jake connects his lips against yours again in a chaste kiss.

“I think I’ll need more of those so you can make your point across, pretty.”

“Deal.”

PERMANENT TAGLIST (bold can’t get tagged). @maoyueze @jongsie @shawnyle @laurradoesloveyou (if you’re interested in joining pls send me an ask or fill this form !!^_^)

CONFIDENT

PAIRING. enhypen hyung line x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS. after graduating high-school and having a major glow-up over summer, you became more confident in yourself and got the title of the most popular girl at decelis university in your first week of freshman year. you instantly dethroned all of the sophomore girls, on top of being so pretty, kind, smart and sexy… girl you have it all. yet you’re still the same kind, naïve and funny y/n that can’t refuse anyone coming her way. after all, you know what they say… confidence makes a girl sexy but kindness is key!

GENRE. college au, social media au with written parts, humor, romance, slowburn, fluff, angst, suggestive, smut 

WARNINGS. suggestiveness and smut sometimes (only with older members), dark humor, swearing & profanities, mature topics such as body shaming, bullying, drugs etc. every chapter has its warnings!

FEATURING. txt’s yeonjun, aespa’s karina, itzy’s ryujin, iz*one’s yena + more!

STATUS. completed

START. 2/18/2022

END. 6/18/2022

any like / reblog / ask / feedback is very much appreciated! ♡ 

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Hyunjin lockscreens

Like & Reblog ♡ Don't repost please

Things enhypen does that makes you shy.

warnings: none

heeseung

heeseung noticed that whenever you try to talk to him, you avoid eye contact with the male, and you only stare at the floor while talking to him. of course, it's cute but it started to get a little annoying because he wanted to look at your face when you talk to him. that's why he thought it would be a great idea to make you even more shy and flustered. he lifts up your face by your chin and asks you "can you repeat it? I didn't hear you" while smirking knowing that you'd explode any time cause of how pink your cheeks got. "h-heeseung.." your eyes widened and he started to giggle.

jay

he always grabs you by your waist randomly because he finds your reaction cute, just hearing your squeals makes him go loco. whenever you just mind your own business he comes and grabs your waist, the members find it funny, but you don't. It makes you really shy afterwards lmao.

jake

he pins you against the wall, lmao😭 like he does that to shut you up, he only does that when you try to argue with him over some small stupid reason. so he just pins you to the wall knowing damn well you will shut the fuck up. he also starts to get really close to your face almost kissing you, hearing your breath hitch makes him giggle.

sunghoon

placing you on his lap, he loves that. whenever he sits and sees you passing by he just grabs you and sits you down onto his lap, not even letting you go. he starts playing with your fingers while you're just sitting on him. you act like you don't care, but he knows damn well that it drives you crazy. because your voice says it otherwise. whenever he talks to you he hears you stutter. lmao he finds it so cute 😭😭.

sunoo

cupping your cheeks while kissing you. that's so normal but for some reason it makes you kinda feel weird things... whenever he just sees you he makes his way to you cups your cheeks and kisses you. sosososo cuteee!!!! 🥹

jungwon

stroking your tights, it's something normal he does. it's like a habit, whenever you sit next to him and he talks to another member he places his hand on your tights and starts to stroke it. this literally makes you so nervous that even the other members noticed it lmao😭

ni-ki

reaching something from behind you. that tall ass dude is so tall, even if you're tall you'd still look small next to him, like literally. when you can't reach something he just comes from behind, places one hand on your waist and the other one grabs the thing you wanted. "you should've called me" that's what he always says.

sunoo 🖤 220808 vlive

❣︎ ⎯⎯ meeting you here .

PAIRING ! jay park x reader // GENRE ! fluff // WC. ! 0.3k

PROMPT(S) ! 19. tugging at the other’s clothes to keep them close ;; 29. nudging them to show they are right beside them // requested by a lovely anon <3 // 2k followers event

A/N. ! guys this title sucks TT if any of you can come up with a better title and propose it to me i actually wouldn’t hesitate in changing it sksjsjs

you felt a gentle nudge at your shoulder followed by a small, “hey.”

it was your boyfriend, jay, and at the sight of him, you smiled.

you two decided to go on an adventurous date together, and instead of taking the car, you thought, why not try taking the bus instead? it took a lot of convincing for your rich boyfriend to finally comply, but eventually, he did…

which lead you to where you two were, sitting at the bus stop together, deciding it would be your meeting spot for the day.

“hey,” you greeted back with a smile and a reciprocated nudge to his side.

after a few minutes, your bus eventually arrived and you two hopped on together, finding two seats beside each other near the back.

“jay?”

“yes, love?” he replied softly, turning his head to look at you attentively.

“i’m tired.”

he smiled and nodded, slightly surprising you when you felt his hand tug at your sleeve, pulling you even closer to him before he wrapped his arm around you, holding you near.

you smiled and rested your head on his shoulder before you heard him let out a soft chuckle, “usually i’m the one who’s always sleepy, and the day just started and here, you’re the one who’s tired.”

you elbowed his side playfully, causing him to let out an exaggerated grunt of pain.

“whatever, just wake me up once we’re there,” you said, closing your eyes and adjusting your body to get more comfortable as you nuzzled your head deeper into the crook of his neck.

he chuckled softly before massaging your arm lovingly, just enjoying each other’s presence as you two made your way to begin your day together.

A/N. would you look at that, em finally posted again :D thanks for reading y’all, i hope you enjoyed <3

2K EVENT MASTERLIST.

TAGLIST FORM.

gym rat boyfriend! sunghoon who decides to do his workout routine at home, incorporating you in it ♡

“HI PRETTY,” Sunghoon grins, his muscles tightening to avoid collapsing on you.

“Hi baby.” You reply with a small giggle, lying underneath him with his hands and arms parallel to your face. He lets out a breath, pushing himself up as he keeps his eyes on your pretty face. 

“Can't focus when you're under me like this, angel.” He says, but he doesn't ask you to move. He's enjoying this a little too much. 

“You aren't complaining, though.” You giggle, cupping his cheeks with a grin plastered across your face. He hums in response, giving your lips a small peck as he lowers himself closer to your body. 

Up, down, kiss. 

“Such a tease…” He whispers under his breath, doing a few more pushups and brushing his lips on yours before lowering himself completely—lips colliding messily, muffling your giggles. 

Your hands run down his chest as he kisses you, feeling his abs that he'd been working on. He chuckles, breaking the kiss. 

“You like them?” He says, taunting you. You nod eagerly in response, “I do, very much..” 

“Good. Been working on them just for you.” He replies, crashing his lips onto yours once more.