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I had free time 💅✨

This is my AU where nobody dies after Muzan because I wanna be able to sleep at night knowing that everyone is okay :') But anyway just had this random idea I needed to do. And I just know that Zenitsu would freak out if Inosuke didn't understand the concept of marriage or thought that it was insignificant.

BUT ANYWAY! ✨INOAOI✨ EVERYONE

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

I did theatre in high school and it was tradition to go the AppleBees after opening night. Most of the time people didn’t want to bother taking off their makeup and go straight there because we were hungry and tired. Well one year we did Suessical, which is basically Horton Hears a Who with a bunch of other Dr Suess characters/stories added in. Most of the main cast and ensemble were jungle animals. So it’s about 11:30 pm and the employees are taking orders from 20-30 kids with colorful animal face paint. There were purple kangaroos, hot pink rabbits, yellow bears, etc. It was truly a magical experience

My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.

We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.

We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.

We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.

We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.

I’ve been playing a lot of Clangen and one of my cats is one of the biggest disaster lesbians I have ever seen. Her name is Bubblingtoe. Her current mate, Shimmerdart, rejected her twice because Bubblingtoe decided to ask her out while Shimmerdart was still grieving her dead wife. One of those rejections was on the same moon Shimmerdart’s wife died!! She also has a decent crush on a cat named Flaxspots, who is the widowed wife of Bubblingtoe’s dead brother/litter mate. Like girl, why the heck!

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

I think it’s been days since I last saw the sun

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship