Looking For A One Shot Where Everyone Thinks Izuku's Hero Name Is Problem Child, Because That's All Eraserhead

Ok, so I've seen a few things that say Bruce Wayne and Sam Manson are Jewish. And I've seen a couple of things about Jewish traditions that say that they leave small stones on graves of loved ones, something about anchoing souls. And there's this one fic, I can't remember what it was or who wrote it, that had Sam placing small stones on Danny sometimes, just because.

I had this thought. Since Danny and Jason aren't dead, what if their loved ones made them weighted blankets, with those stones instead of beads/rice/what-have-you in regular weighted blankets.

Those blankets quickly become their favorite. It's soothing on an instinctual level. Sleeping with those blankets is the best sleep they've ever had. No nightmares. Just happy, sleeping, ghost purrs. Because those blankets are full of love and recognition of loss and ghosts appreciate that recognition of loss from the living, need it.

It's why Ember wants to hear her name, why Skulker and Technus shout their names and titles. They want to be recognized.

Just imagine, movie night at the manor. Some poor soul tries to playfully steal Jason's weighted blanket. Jason's eyes haven't been so bright since he emerged from the Lazarus Pits and he's snarling and growling to impress a dragon. Message received: don't touch the blanket.

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Kleptomaniac Oscar

Oscar is a kleptomaniac. He doesn’t notice when he does it. His aunt compensated this by getting beads, pretty stones, and other small things. He learned how to do crafts with small items and he sells them next to his aunt’s stall on market days.

This makes life interesting when he joins RNJR+Q at Haven. Lots of little things go missing, dust, scrolls, lien. When they go looking for them and ask Oscar to help them look he looks confused until they start describing small things. Then to their confusion he starts patting himself down. He pulls more out of his pockets than they’d realized was missing, including Qrow’s flask. He apologizes and explains what his aunt had done and asks them to keep an eye on him because he doesn’t mean to steal anything, he really just can’t help it.

Nora thinks it’s hilarious and likes to take him on walks near prejudiced people. Ren helps Oscar return most of the things he takes. Jaune and Ruby (and later Yang, Blake and Weiss) get small trinkets (of various price and durability) to leave around for him. The first time he empties his pockets to find fistfulls of dust flakes and painted nuts and bolts he freaks out and tries to return them. Yang just laughs and asks his favorite color and Weiss hands him a bunch of containers for safely holding small amounts of dust and proceeds to teach him about dust. In great detail. He also finds an odd amount of glitter packets and weird not quite gem things. Jaune teaches him about sequins. Blake, after seeing him look at his assortment of oddities, leaves spools of thread and lengths of yarn. An unusual amount of cloth scraps find their way around that no one will admit to. (Qrow). There’s also still beads.

Soon enough, small treasures are found around the house: patchwork kerchiefs with initials beaded into corners, glittery cloth bookmarks, bracelets and necklaces with beads and nuts and bolts, sequined wrist and ankle bands.

The himbo act is only partially an act. Sometimes, Danny really is that dumb. Danny will play up Jack Fenton obliviousness, but he really does have his own blind spots.

But space? Yeah, Danny literally cannot help himself.

Okay so Danny gets adopted by Bruce. Yeah? Yeah.

And they don't know about his powers? Obviously. We know this part of the story.

BUT. On a casual trip out for food or whatever, Danny and some of the bat sibs get cornerd by reporters and paparazzi. There panicking bec danny JUST got here and they haven't had time to breif him on how to interact with the media and he's totally gonna flounder and they need to help him before he totally flubs it!

Exept, he doesn't. He smiles, nice and bright, into the camra. He waits patiently for each reporter to ask their questions and then answers confidently, giving them something walst acctually answering nothing. "Where are you from?" "A small town, I'm sure you wouldn't know it but, really, it's about where I am now."How did you come to be adopted by bruce?"Well, I look quite a bit like my new brothers, don't you think? Haha. I like to think it was meant to be."

And on and on he gose, dancing around them, shareing professionally worded jokes and calmly addressing eatch person as they viyed for his attention, controlling the flow of conversation.

The bat kids all look at eatchother.

This kids been media trained.

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He's helped the little girl, who was in a coma Astral projecting and had managed to get lost from the hospital she was in, and figured he was done.

A couple of months later, there's a knock on his dorm door while he's doing school work. He figures it's the dinner he ordered and opens the door.

Outside stands a red haired man, who seems confused about why he's there. And. That Girl. The not-a-ghost girl. The coma patient girl. Looking smug as hell. "Thanks for helping me get better!" She chirps.

He slams the door closed.

What the hell? She wasn't supposed to remember!

Danny's retired. The ghost of a little girl doesn't particularly care about that.

He's in Star City, attending college, trying to keep his shit together after some huge villain attack that almost leveled the city.

And the ghost of a little girl stops him in his tracks.

Normally, ghosts leave him alone. They know when someone's too strong to fuck with, and they know he doesn't want to get involved in hero shit.

The exception being murder victims who want him to help point cops in the direction of their murderers....

...and this one little girl.

She bears the marks of death by collateral, so clearly not a murder victim.

Danny tries to brush past her.

She reappears.

This happens again. And again. And again.

"Look, kid, if I help you then every single ghost is gonna be on my ass for making an exception. You need to move on, for your sake and your family's-"

"My name is Lian Harper," the little girl interrupts, kicking him in the shin, "An' you're gonna help my dad, whether you like it or not."

In a safer city, Tim Drake would have been a teen detective. Like Kudo Shinichi (case closed), Nancy drew, boxcar children, or any of a dozen others.

Johnny hits Jason with his bike ("we were supposed to go through him babe!" "But we didnt!") which knocks Jason unconscious. Kitty sees he's a ghost and is like "its a baby!" gif and refuses to leave him there.

Jason wakes up to the weirdest coddling experience of his (after)life. After many many tries he cannot successfully escape the growing group of concerned ghosts who are doing the coddling

Two days later Batman issues a search for his missing son, becoming more and more distressed when the batfam finds no leads

Dick's grandfather is in the Court of Owls.

ic: @batfam-stuff-posts-0

based on this post :))