This Post Should’ve Been On The Voyager Golden Record. Easily In Mankind’s Top 5 Funniest Creations

The physics of balancing toys 🙃

New MTG keyword: late strike. Attacks an additional time after regular combat.

honestly if teleporters ever got invented during my lifetime i would be the most annoying analog boomer about it. my grandkids would be like ugh, grandma, why don’t you just take a teleporter trip to come visit us, we all do it all the time and it’s obviously safe and i would be like absolutely not. it kills you and reconstitutes a copy with your exact memories. you are consciously my grandchildren and i do not hold it against you but i know in my heart that you are nothing but copies of copies of copies borne out of irresponsible technology use. i am not touching that devil’s elevator as long as i live. i will take an airplane and you will wait for the several hours it takes for me to come visit you

This still blows my mind

This stake must be driven through her. It will be a fearful ordeal—be not deceived in that—but it will be only a short time, and you will then rejoice more than your pain was great; from this grim tomb you will emerge as though you tread on air. But you must not falter when once you have begun.

@lankyhorologist as Dr. Van Helsing and me as Lucy Westenra for Halloween this year!

Yes Dr. Van Helsing isn't the one to stake Lucy in the book but he is a far better costume than Arthur so we took some liberties.