Junhong: I Failed My Safety Course Today.

If I had a nickel for everytime I simped over..

An elf with very questionable morals

Who cares deeply for some of the party members

Was manipulating everyone for their own gain until the started to trust someone

Wants to reverse something they did in the past

And is proficient in magic

Id have two nickels, which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice

university is ALSO just *goes to bathroom* *stress cleans to avoid homework* *buys on sale bread* *peace sign in mirror while bawling your eyes out at 3am* *always has a cold* *glasses r fogged up* *granola bars* *falls asleep in class* *does laundry* *staples something* *takes an ibuprofen* *listens to the same song for 3 days straight* *no free seats at the library*  *checks phone to see how long until class ends but forgets to actually look at the time* *naps* *regrets nap* *microwaves something* *has crisis about major* *contemplates dropping out every other week* *buys toilet paper*

the Origins PC and companions are genuinely the funniest group of people if you actually think about it, like you got:

The Warden who literally got their job yesterday and was put in charge of saving the world for some reason

the second-most-recent warden who immediately pushed all the responsibility on you and REALLY doesn’t want to tell you who his daddy is because that would mean more responsibility he does not want

this random swamp witch who’s mother may or may not be Baba Yaga but she personally has never been anywhere larger than a small village and does NOT understand human interactions also she can turn into a spider

a bisexual nun who you met in a bar who told you that God told her to tag along with you but actually she used to be a spy and has murdered a lot of people, but also she assures you that she never took vows of chastity so she’s dtf

a grown up child soldier giant man who you got out of a cage for some reason who spends half the time negging you and talking in circles but is apparently into that and also the only thing he likes about your country is cookies

an assassin that was hired to kill you and immediately started flirting with you the moment he failed at doing that and you just thought it was a good call to let him tag along

an elderly woman who has assigned herself the role of group grandmother, really doesn’t want you to fuck or talk about griffins, and also she’s possessed. let’s be real, she probably regrets being in this group

a dwarf who’s wife ended up being a psychopath and a lesbian, so he just decided to skip town with you

a magical construct that has spent the last 30 years getting shit on by birds and just is REALLY pissed off by that

A dog that is able to comprehend human language and uses that ability solely to beg for treats

And the optional:

Literally the guy that you have been fighting against the entire fucking game

Season 1:

Ian: I'm cold.

Mickey: I can't control the weather bitch.

Season 5:

Ian: I'm cold.

Mickey: Take every jacket & blanket that I own.

Some people : DA2 sucks because it wasn't as dark as DAO.

Me : *was traumatized by the death of my sister/brother in the beginning of DA2. And put on PLS by the psycho blood mage trying to fuck a zombie made with severals dead ladies, including my mom*

Sex: *exists*

Me:

Ardeth Bay is the only man I will ever love and frankly I'm alright with that

Seems to me the problem with Uk’otoa is that he isn’t a great hirer. Like we’ve seen/know of 4 warlocks so far (including Vandren) out of whom 50% didn’t plan on releasing him at all and 75% are dead

Hi anon,

You are very right. Here are a number of issues with Uk’otoa’s business practices:

1. Offered the job to various drowning randoms on the spot without an interview.

2. Sets very unclear expectations (provoke? consume? how does one achieve those metrics in a meaningful way?)

3. Highly passive-aggressive - cutting off all access to benefits when employees don’t achieve quarterly goals? You didn’t even try a Performance Improvement Plan? OK snea snake.

4. Didn’t address the lingering resentment after a fling between coworkers went sour. Technically that resentment lasted only a few hours after which one of them was murdered by a pirate king, but a good manager would have intervened early on.

5. When an employee quits with minimal notice consider it a time for reflection. It’s an opportunity to understand why - it might just be them, but you might have made an environment where they don’t feel safe giving the typical notice for your industry.

6. Once an employee has left you should move on and not send a team of sea spawn and deep scions onto their ship in the dead of night to cut a fucking hole in their chest.

Can’t believe it’s been two years...

It’s hard to be positive looking at the state of the kpop industry lately, but hopefully soon our spring will come.

♥ ♥ ♥ You did well, Jonghyun, and you will always be loved  ♥ ♥ ♥

Romantic poets’ dnd classes

William Wordsworth - Druid. Absolutely obsessed with nature. Will spend hours staring at a single tree believes in nothing except the power of nature. 

Dorothy Wordsworth - fighter. She gets shit done herself. Respects nature and all but a little more grounded than her brother. 

Coleridge - warlock. Oh boy. His whole thing is the power of the imagination, being wishy washy with religion, opium addict, really erratic but also incredibly likeable. He would totally make a pact. 

Keats - grave Cleric. A literal doctor. But a doctor who had to deal with watching his family die from disease. Has a very complicated relationship with death, pretty emo but also a puppy dog. Keats is bae. 

Lord Byron - bard. Need I say more? 

Percy Shelley - rogue. Politically radical and just a social mess. 

Mary Shelley - wizard. Too good for Percy and just a genius. Fascinated by magic and wants to test her limits all the time and DELIVERS. 

Bonus novelist:

Jane Austen - Tough choice but I think she suits bard best. Witty and observant, knows what to say when, detail oriented, never forgets.