Latest Posts by lasthourstid - Page 9

Will: I think I found a way to make money

Gabriel: You'd make a decent stripper

Will: I'd make an AMAZING stripper, but that's not what I'm talking about...

Alastair: Damn right, I'm pretty

Matthew: I said "petty"

Will: A ghost slapped my ass.

Jem: What? Did I hear that right?

Will: You heard me right. A. Ghost. Slapped. My. Ass.

YOUR BLOG IS AMAZING 🥺

Thank you!! ❤❤❤

Christopher: People tell me I have a unique way to lighting up a room.

Thomas: That's called arson and those people are witnesses.

Interviewer: What do you think you could bring to this job?

Christopher: Bring to it? Oh, umm...

Christopher: I could bring...

Christopher: ... some tea and cakes to it? Would you like that?

Henry: You know, if things had gone differently in my life, I would have been a pilot.

Henry: Hey, what would happen if you turn the remote off and then back on real fast?

Jessamine: Yeah, you would have been a great pilot...

James: I can't believe you told on me, Lucie!

Will: And I'm currently glad she did, young man!

Will to Tessa: That sounds scary. I am nailing this!

Lucie: I'm going into the kitchen, want anything?

Matthew: Vodka

Lucie: It's 7 in the morning??

Matthew: ...

Matthew: with toast.

Will: Family, I want you to meet my falcon. I'm a falconer now.

James: And yet for Christmas I got a wrapped scrambled egg.

Gabriel: Please. Don't try to act like you guys care!

Will: Oh, thank God.

Alastair: Thomas, can you forgive me? Matthew forgave me.

Matthew, angry: Yeah, I can't wait for you to fall asleep tonight.

Henry: If you're open to me getting a pet...

Charlotte: Yeah, of course. Get a dog.

Henry: No, I don't want a dog. I want a cockatoo to take rollerblading. How cool would that be?

Tessa: I make it policy never to date a peasant!

Cecily: Same

Tessa: Aren't you engaged to Gabriel?

Cecily: Aren't you married to my brother?

Tessa: ...

Cecily: ...

James: Where is Matthew?

Thomas: Well, apparently Matthew won a big award...

James: Nice try. The only person who'd believe that would be Matthew.

Christopher: He's in jail!

Thomas: Kit, what did I say?

Christopher: That it was only a matter of time?

Thomas, blushing: Okay, no, didn't say THAT.

James (internally): I won't be awkward today.

Cordelia: Hey.

James: Good, thanks.

Will: How about have a seat? Maybe you'd like a glass of water?

Matthew: Anything with a little more kick?

Will: Seriously, Matthew, you're in my office.

Matthew: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking-

Will, pouring whisky in two glasses: You want ice, you're out of luck.

James: But I can't go outside. I'm allergic to pollen and social situations.

*at the mall*

Lucie: Dad, look! Santa's here! I want to sit on his lap!

Will: Jeez, Lucie, come on. You're too old for that.

Lucie: I'm gonna ask him for a family trampoline.

Will: Holy crap, GET YOUR ASS UP THERE!

James: For the millionth time, Cordelia and I are just friends.

Lucie: *sneezes*

Lucie: Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

Christopher and Thomas: *sing together*

Christopher: Wow, we sound amazing!

Thomas: I know. That was incredible. You know, we should do something with this.

Christopher: Yeah, maybe we could open up a mattress store!

Thomas: ...

Thomas: Or we could try singing?

Matthew: Jamie, what's that note?

Christopher: Bet it's from a girl in the lunchroom who wants a taste of corn dog.

Thomas: Was that a sex joke?

Christopher: It's...

Christopher: ...

Christopher: I don't know, shut up.

Will: I don't always make great decisions under pressure.

*a few weeks ago*

Tessa: What the fucking hell is this?!

Will: An Alpaca! I got the last one!

Will: If you had food on your face, would you want me to tell you?

Gabriel, wiping over his face: Where? Did I get it?

Will: Oh, no, not now. It was last week.

Will: I didn't know whether or not to tell you, but everyone was staring.

Will: Sucks to be you, I guess.

Lucie: He's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the great-looking ones who do that?

Matthew: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.

Lucie: I mean... men.

Matthew: Okay, thanks, that really helped...

Matthew: I hope I can be as cool as you guys in 30 years.

Will, whispering: Does he think we're 50?

Gabriel, whispering back: No, no, he's just really bad at math.

Christopher, holding two pairs of shoes: Ok, gun to your head: which pair should I bring?

Matthew: Gun to my head? I'd say pull the trigger.

Benedict Lightworm: I was able to raise three fully functional kids!

Charlotte: You have three kids I don't know about?!

Tessa: Oh, could you grab me an extra virgin?

Will: I think one's enough for the sacrifice.

Tessa: Olive oil, Will...