Latest Posts by lasthourstid - Page 8

Kit: Cancelling plans is okay. Staying home to watch a film is okay. Moving to another country to avoid the love of your life is okay.

Kit: It’s called self-care

The Merry Thieves: [searching the beach]

James: Sorry guys, looks like there’s no sand dollars left

Christopher: Can’t the ocean just make more of them?

Matthew: And cause inflation? Destroy the sand economy? By the angel, Christopher, use your head.

Will: [Pulls out a knife]

Jem: Oh no.

Will: [Opens a box with it]

Jem: Oh, okay.

Will: [Pulls another knife out of the box]

Jem: Oh no!

I am very proud to announce that I am officially a lost cause. Thank you all for your continued support. Unfortunately, it was all for nothing.

- Matthew Fairchild, probably

Cordelia: He is probably thinking about other girls…

Lucie: You never know what’s going through a guys mind.

[Meanwhile]

James: If you sat on a voodoo doll of yourself would you ever be able to stand up?

Matthew: Holy shit, bro

Thomas: I have a boyfriend now

Matthew, encouragingly: A boyfriend?

Thomas: [reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]

Matthew: TWO boyfriends?!

*When Gabriel and Cecily first meet*

Cecily: You have no idea what I’m capable of.

Gabriel: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.

[Later]

Gabriel: You’re the scariest cupcake I’ve ever met.

Will and Gabriel: *running up to each other* *doing a really long complicated handshake*

Will, deadpan: I’ve never met someone weaker or uglier than you.

Gabriel: You’re so annoying. I hate you so much.

Pillow Talk

James: Sometimes, Cordelia sleep talks

Cordelia, sleeping: KILL THE BITCH

James: I didn’t say I enjoyed it.

Cordelia, in the background: DIE

Will: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Will: *aggressively throws water bottles*

James: …

Matthew: Uh…

Lucie: He’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Matthew, crying: It’s working

Kidnapper: I have one of your group members

Thomas: Oh, really?

Matthew, drunk in the background: IT’S ME, MATTHEW!

Thomas: You have the wrong number

Henry: So, I heard you like bad boys?

Charlotte: Umm, no, not really-

Henry: Not to get you excited, but I don’t look both ways before I cross the street.

Charlotte: That’s very dangerous.

Henry: I know. I don’t really do that…

Will: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing or highjacking?

Gabriel: No, it’s called weedwhacking.

Jem: No, it’s called disappointing your mother.

Cecily: *loses Gabriel in a crowd*

Cecily: This calls for drastic-

Will: SHUT THE FUCK UP and keep walking

Matthew: MOVE!

Charles: You have room!

Matthew: No, move out. You're like forty!

Charles: ...

Playing Twister

Lucie: James, right hand red

James: [ends up on top of Cordelia]

James: Okay, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

Lucie: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner.

Matthew: I don't know where James is, but I can sense that he's ok. It's like we share the same brain.

Lucie: Who has it now?

Charlotte: So, what do you think?

Will: I wasn’t even listening but I heavily disagree with Gabriel.

Charlotte: Gabriel isn’t even here

Matthew: Welcome to the “I Hate Matthew Fairchild”-Club

Matthew: and I, of course, am the president.

Matthew: *looks over at James* Poke

James: *without looking up from his book* Poke

Matthew: Poke *pokes James on his cheek*

James: Poke *pokes Matthew on the arm*

Matthew: Poke!

James: Poke!

Matthew: POKE

James: POKE

*a poke war ensues that somehow ends up on the floor with Christopher on top thinking it was a hug party*

Thomas:

Thomas: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???

Tessa: Can I please stay in your room?

Jem: Why?

Tessa: Will and I played with a Ouija board and we cursed mine

Tessa: and Will isn’t much help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells: “Does this look like a hotel to you?!”

Will: If anyone gives you any trouble, just tell them the fish don’t come knocking twice.

Jem: What does that even mean?

Will: They’ll know.

Jem: I highly doubt that.

Will: [tapping on the table]

Gabriel: [tapping back furiously]

Cecily: What’s going on?

Tessa: They learned morse code so they could talk to each other secretly.

Will: .-.. .. --. .... - .-- --- .-. –

Gabriel: [slams fists on table] YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Gabriel: [faints]

Will: He’s not responding to painful stimuli.

Tessa: Stabbing someone in the foot over and over doesn’t make you a doctor.

Will: You don’t understand, it’s my destiny to sacrifice myself, I deserve to die here if it means even the slimmest chance of stopping Mortmain from hurting anyone else.

Jem: If you live I’ll let you kiss me on the mouth.

Will: … on the mouth?

Jem, staring at his phone: Kit, I have a question.

Kit: What’s up?

Jem: What does “thicc” mean? It has to c’s.

Kit: Uh, well, I- it kind of means, uh, like… I guess it kind of means you have a nice butt.

Jem: …

Kit: …

Jem, squinting intently at his phone, whispers: What the fuck, Lily

First day at the Shadowhunter Academy

Matthew: Hey. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Matthew.

James: Hi. I’m disgusted.

Alexander: I’m moving in to the attic.

Thomas: The attic?!

Alexander: Hey, at least it’s big. Dad said you used to live in a closet.