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Tales Of The Shadowhunter Academy - Blog Posts
Christopher: Matthew, what’s a metaphor?
Matthew: “My life is a train wreck”
Christopher: I know, but what’s a metaphor?
Jace: I’ve killed more demons than I can count
Jace: Because I’ve killed a lot of demons
Jace: Not because I can’t count very high
Mark: Oh shit, a cockroach!
Julian: Well, take off your shoe and kill it!
Mark: *takes shoe off and squashes it with his bare foot*
Julian: NO-
Julian: AND WHY THE FCK WOULD YOU DO THAT??!
James: Did you miss me?
Matthew: I always miss you. 24/6.
James: Why not 24/7?
Matthew: I worship Oscar Wilde on Sundays.
Will: I don’t think we thought this through very well…
Jem: I could’ve told you that ten fuck-ups ago.
Gabriel: Has anyone seen my wife?
Stranger: What does she look like?
Gabriel: Well, she has black ha-
Cecily, from a tree: BEAUTIFUL
Officer: I heard you got pot
Matthew: *holds up flower pot* You mean this?
Officer: Oh, ok. What you growing?
Matthew: Weed
James: Hey, uh, so I’ve been reviewing this itinerary and I don’t really get it.
James: Are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get kind of messy?
Matthew: That’s why we feed them glitter, Jamie.
Simon: Hey, what is your greatest fear?
Alec: Losing a loved one
Simon: That’s deep…
Simon: … mine is the kool aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now
Kit: I know you’re a hero in the Shadow World, but what about the mundane side?
Jace: No, I’m wanted in six states for arson
Kit:
Jace: and homicide
First day at the Shadowhunter Academy
Matthew: Hey. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Matthew.
James: Hi. I’m disgusted.