Latest Posts by lasthourstid - Page 7

Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!

Mark: Hi, I’ve stolen your identity and I’ve been living as you for a week.

Julian: …

Mark: [starts crying]

Julian: [hugging him] hey, it’s okay…

Mark: [loud sobbing] How do you even get up in the morning?

Julian: Shh, I know, I know. It’s gonna be okay.

Modern Lucie x Jesse

[texting]

Jesse: Hi, who is this? Grace was bored and changed all my contacts to mythical creatures.

Lucie: What’s mine?

Jesse: Dwarf

Lucie: SHE’S SO MEAN I’M NOT THAT SHORT!

Jesse: Oh, hi Lucie

Lucie: FUCK

Charles: Whenever I’m mad at Matthew I tighten the lids on all of our jars so that he has to ask me for help…

*sound of glass shattering, screaming from distance*

Charles: It hasn’t worked yet…

Clave member: Now we’re going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I’ll ask you a few questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

Charles: Yes

*lie detector explodes*

Julian: It's really cold outside.

Kit: Just like my heart.

Julian: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.

Charlotte: Let’s spice things up

Henry: But I’m allergic to chilli

Charlotte: I meant in the bedroom

Henry: It doesn’t matter in what room we eat, Lottie, I’m still allergic to chilli

hi I LOVE YOUR BLOG 😭

AWWW, THANK YOU!!! 😭😭❤❤

Gabriel: Did you know you stole something from me when we met yesterday?

Cecily: Sorry, I’ll return your wallet.

Gabriel: You stole my hea- wait, you did what?

Kit: I thought I was meowing back to church for the past few hours

Kit: Turns out it was just Jem and I meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Police Officer: Turn around

Matthew: 🎵 Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never comin’ round 🎵

Police Officer: TURN AROUND

Matthew: 🎵 Every now an-

Matthew: *gets tased*

Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake

Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!

Will: You need a hobby

James: I do have a hobby!

Will: Well, being angsty and sad isn’t a hobby!

Matthew from distance: It isn’t?!

Kit: Come on guys, let’s just hug it out!

Jem, Tessa, Mina and Kit: [struggle into group hug]

Jem: Ok, who took my wallet?

Kit: Sorry

Will: [pours salt in Jem’s tea]

Jem: [sips tea]

Will:

Jem: [finishes tea]

Will: … didn’t the tea taste weird?

Jem: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Will, tearing up: Okay

Matthew: WELCOME TO FUCKING APPLEBEE’S, DO YOU WANT APPLES OR BEES?

Alastair: … Bees?

Matthew: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!

Alastair: Wait...

James, approaches them as he shakes a jar of bees: 😊

Alastair: wAit-

At a restaurant

Cecily: Hey, are you single?

Gabriel, blushing: Y- Yes, I am.

Cecily: [takes away the extra chair in front of him]

Cecily: Thanks

Christopher: I’m scared

Gabriel: Your mom said to go to bed.

Christopher: But there’s a monster under my bed!

Gabriel: Is it scarier than your mom?

Christopher:

Christopher: *goes back to bed*

Anna: Yo, is that guy sleeping or dead?

Matthew: Hopefully dead, I hated that guy.

James: Yeah, so did I.

Alastair, laying on the floor: First of all, fuck you all-

Will: I found James. He was sleeping while training again.

James: I wasn’t sleeping, someone drugged me!

Will, turning around to Tessa: Cancel that, he was doing drugs.

Kit: I know you’re a hero in the Shadow World, but what about the mundane side?

Jace: No, I’m wanted in six states for arson

Kit:

Jace: and homicide

Jem: Ok, Will, I know you mean well and everything, but please stop being a little bitch. We need to work together!

Will: Will do. But only if you take off your shirt for me.

Jem:

Jem: Weird flex but okay

Matthew: So the police showed up and everybody ran, so I did, too.

Matthew: And I started climbing down this fire escape.

Matthew: And then I heard a cop yell to put your hands up,

Matthew: so I did and I fell... onto him.

Matthew: You should take off your glasses more often

James: *stops*

James: *looks around*

Matthew: What is it? Did you lose anything?

James: It looks like I lost all my fucks and I have none to give

James: I’m not scared of you! None of us are!

Christopher: I kind of am

James: Christopher, shut up!

Cordelia: Knowledge is power

Alastair: Yes

Cordelia: *smacks him with a trigonometry textbook* KNOWLEDGE

Will: I’m amazing at picking locks. It’s my specialty

Will: *smashes window with a baseball bat and opens door from the inside*

Will: See? It’s easy

James: I love you, Lucie. Even if you are Dad's favorite.

Lucie: Me? WHaT? No!

James: It's true. Look, if we were sitting in a sinking boat, you know who he's saving.

Lucie: Cordelia

James: ... yes

Tessa: You are an ADULT, Will. It’s your job to keep our children from making stupid decisions like this!

Will: That is true…

Will: … but I was also really curious to see how many donuts James and Lucie can eat in one minute.

James: A-C-D-F-B-G-

Lucie: What are you saying?

James: I’m singing the alphabet

Lucie: That’s not the alphabet-

Matthew from upstairs: YASSS GIRL REMIX