HOLY *HELL* IS THIS AMAZING

Season 1: Watchers take interest in Martyn

Season 2: Martyn fails to serve the Watchers and they say he's more of a Listener

Season 3: Watchers stop talking to him

Season 4: Martyn teams up with only the one person they hate the most other than Grian (Scott)

It only took a LITTLE too long to realize what was going on

10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

“Do you have a clock yet?” Impulse asked.

It was a warm day, the bright sunlight sweetened by the gentle breeze off the sea. Everything was new, the next chapter in the life series, and yet, some things stayed the same.

Bdubs searched his inventory. “I don’t, actually, no!”

Tango made some joke about not being able to sleep away the night here, and under that cover of laughter and jokes, Impulse stole down to the rudimentary hole he, Tango, Skizz, and Etho were calling home. Perhaps it was a little silly, to use resources so frivolously like this, but Impulse didn’t care.

Every time Impulse made a clock, he was always surprised how easy the recipe really was. Some redstone, a bit of gold. It felt almost juvenile that such a simple thing held so much weight and history within it.

When the clock was finished, Impulse flipped open the lid and picked up a small knife someone had left around- probably Etho- and began scratching letters into the golden surface.

“Well, I better be off, I’m sure Scar and Cleo are missing me.” Impulse heard Bdubs say from above. He snapped the clock closed, panicked, and raced back up to the surface.

“Wait, Bdubs!” He thrust the clock into Bdubs’ hands. “For you. For old times sake, huh? And maybe a bit of a bribe to not target me.” Impulse laughed, and Bdubs smiled down at the clock.

“Oh, thank you, Impulse!” Bdubs replied, putting it in his off-hand. “For old time’s sake.”

——

“Listen, Bdubs, I have something for you.” Cleo said. It was, if Cleo had to guess, the last day the Clockers would be alive. They were all rushing around, gathering materials and weapons. “You don’t happen to have a clock, do you?”

“Uhh…” Bdubs dug in his pockets for a moment. “I do! Impulse gave it to me way back on the first day!”

“Of course he did.” Cleo muttered, rolling her eyes slightly. “Listen, we can give you a better one. Give it to me.”

Bdubs handed it over, and Cleo went down to their family anvil, ignoring Scar’s babbling.

It was a standard clock, she saw as she looked down at it properly, with a golden lid with a window to the top half of the clock- if you were in a rush, the top was all you needed to tell the time. Cleo took out her tools, and popped the lid, intending to carve something into the back side of the clock lid. It clicked open, revealing the simple sun and moon that told the time, and the scratchings that were already cut into the back of the lid.

For my soulmate -i

“Oh, Impulse.” Cleo murmured softly. She ran her thumb across the letters, tracing each one like she knew Impulse would have wanted someone else to do.

It was so painfully Impulse. Despite some mistakes in his past, he was sweet and kind and loving. And a bit of a bastard, but that was besides the point- weren’t they all. The clock was a given- of course it had been Impulse to give Bdubs a clock. It wasn’t hard to see how much Impulse adored him. And the inscription… Cleo sighed. There was no way that Bdubs had seen it. She brushed away the metal dust that marred the letters slightly; Impulse had probably been in a hurry and hasn’t had time to brush them off yet. Bdubs wouldn’t have let it sit in his pocket like that if he’d known… or maybe he would have. Bdubs was surprisingly unreadable sometimes.

She closed the lid gently, and flipped the clock over onto its back. There she carved out her own message for Bdubs.

mamma’s favourite boy

She buffed her carving with a cloth that looked like it had come from Scar’s shirt, until the gold shined. It wasn’t really about who loved Bdubs more- there’s more then one way to love a person, and no one was adored the way Bdubs was. He would carry two peoples love with him today. Even if he didn’t know it.

here she is yes yes hi very much yes hello

i think it would be such a fun little bit for hermitblr bit for folks to pass around their minecraft skins without any other design context and let people make up designs (as hermitblr artists do) to see how other people interpret it

Double Life Episode 1 Primer

Hi tumblr, I wrote this to drag in my friends but you get it as well. Intended for newcomers and people who need some quick initial grounding for DL-set fic. I make no pretensions to total accuracy, we're running on 100% Vibes.

It is a BEAUTIFUL DAY in a small area of Minecraft and fourteen people are FINDING LOVE.

We start with BDUBS, who is Just A Little Guy with a powerful voice and a nose for drama. Bdubs is fresh out of a series of entanglements with friends ETHO, IMPULSE and other hermitcrafters in a previous series where they had a variety of tumultuous relationships and all got murdered. Bdubs is excited to quickly realise his soulmate is IMPULSE, a large, quiet, agreeable type also in the hermitcraft polycule, who given enough time and thinking space is able to break minecraft apart like a rubik's cube. In this quickly functional and loving relationship, Impulse inspires Bdubs to build for beauty over defence, and they settle into a MID-CENTURY MODERN HOUSE and keep being hit up for food by all their less competent friends.

'Less competent' does not include ETHO, a murder machine with a keen fighting edge and no sense of direction, who has tragically been ejected from the hermitcraft polycule because they've all married each other and/or Scott. Etho is initially wary about being soulbonded to JOEL [Smallishbeans], largely known for stealing other people's wheat and being Grian's best murder friend in Last Life, something that doesn't often endear you to anyone. Joel switches all his energies to being a Huge Etho Fanboy and Etho is reluctantly charmed. They build the RELATIONSHIP--a two-masted schooner on top of a hill--commit some minor crimes, and look forward to the PvP endgame when SmallEtho will be the most terrifying team on the server.

Meanwhile having no luck with mining is TANGO, a positive ball of energy who tells everyone he is not a builder despite being one of Minecraft's most impressive redstone architects. Tango is hopefully prodding everyone, excited to find a soulmate (as long as it's not Scar, because he doesn't want to die). Tango's long history of redstone projects do not stop him from ping-ponging haphazardly around the server failing to equip himself until he is blown up by a creeper, leading to a very awkward chat at spawn with JIMMY [SolidarityGaming], who has just blown up as well, because it turns out they're soulmates.

JIMMY, a wet cat relentlessly bullied by everyone who knows him, is initially gleeful to have the high ground for once in his life, but quickly realizes Tango is both good at bullying people and also distraught at having killed them both. They fall into a sweet and incompetent flurry of supportive activity and mutual hype during which Jimmy takes twenty minutes to make a water bucket and Tango is delighted for him. Against all odds, they collect several animals and start to build THE RANCH.

BIGB is still looking for love, and can optimistically find joy in being bonded to any one of his friends (except Scar please not Scar). After a series of disappointments where everyone else is also devastated not to be bonded to the sweetest person on the server, BigB eventually finds REN, a character who could make a convincing three-act drama out of mildly spoiled milk, who immediately evicts everyone from his cave so he can choose carpets with BigB. Ren has prepared multiple plans for his soulmate and is excited to tell BigB about them in a monologue that lasts through the entire construction of BOX, a cobblestone box meant to repel invaders through its sheer retro ugliness. Ren proceeds to invite everyone for tea. They do not show up.

GRIAN, a prank-motivated chaos nexus, is horrified to find he is soulbonded to SCAR, a previous ally of Grian's whom he beat to death with his bare hands on a desert mountain and then divorced so hard it nearly set the server on fire. Scar, a happy-go-lucky type prone to fatal accidents and surprisingly chill about their mutual history, is nonetheless easily distracted by animals and ignores the soulmate race in favor of obsessing over a herd of pandas modded to look like his cat. Grian decides not to tell Scar they're soulbound, instead following him around in affection and exasperation until he finally drops several stalactites on Scar's head to drive the point home, hooks him with a fishing rod, and drags him back to his base. Grian has started to build the spiked wooden RED VELVET KEEP; Scar, after his pandas are cruelly evicted from the keep, builds the PANDA RESERVE.

SCOTT, a man rapidly running out of patience with everyone else's shenanigans, and CLEO, who never had any patience in the first place, efficiently round the whole server in hope of finding their soulmates. This act of emotional vulnerability goes unrewarded when their respective soulmates fail to show up, and Cleo and Scott decide to defy destiny and settle down as a pair on their own terms, where they begin to plot crimes of their own, an opportunity which honestly they deserve. They build TWO PERFECTLY OKAY HOUSES separated by a nice BRIDGE and are FINE WITHOUT THEIR SOULMATES.

MARTYN, a man who when two or more people are gathered magically turns it into an event of which he is the emcee, has spent the first episode accomplishing a series of daring deeds together with PEARL. They raid the Nether and sell what they can find. This does them no good when they finally trail back to Scott and Cleo, by process of elimination their soulmates, who immediately divorce them for abandonment. Presumably to keep the streak going, Martyn breaks up with Pearl as well and RUNS OFF.

PEARL, rejected in turn by Scott, Cleo and Martyn, is Absolutely Fine. No, Really. She hasn't just experienced repeated trauma at all, and is definitely feeling on good terms with humankind. Pearl settles down with a WOLF, which is definitely not going to come back to bite anyone, and the EPISODE ENDS with the PIECES ALL ON THE CHESSBOARD.

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soooo i made geoguessr out of the hermitcraft season 8 download

Scar saw the poll turn green. He cheered to himself and smirked.

“About time someone acknowledged my sexiness,” Scar said to himself. He scrolled back up to the bracket, looking for his next competitor. He read the name and paused.

Technoblade.

He swallowed a large mouthful of air. Behind him, he heard the sick sound of steel scraping its scabbard.

—

“Doc, my brother from another mama!” Ren shouted. He leaned over the edge of the Perimeter, looking for his friend. “Did’ja see the bracket? We’re up against each other!” He heard nothing.

“Doc?” Ren shouted slightly louder.

“I heard, Ren,” Doc said. Ren turned around slowly, finding Doc standing over him in his ripped lab coat, taut muscles exposed to the elements that surrounded him. “And I’m sorry that your time in the bracket has to end this way.”

—

“Oi, Pearl!” Cleo said, landing next to their fellow hermit.

“Hiya, Cleo!” Pearl said. “Is this about the bracket?”

“Yep,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to stop by and say, no hard feelings.”

“Why would there be hard feelings?” Pearl asked.

“Well, no one’s heard from Zloy since I beat him into a pulp,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew there’s no shame in losing.”

“What makes you think you’re gonna win?”

Cleo arched her eyebrows menacingly and glared at Pearl.

“No, Pearl, I don’t think I’m going to win,” they said. “I know.”

—

“Hi Joel!” BDubs shouted. His head had just shot up out of a bush on Joel’s island.

“Good lore, BDubs!” Joel shouted, quickly moving his foot out of the way. “How did you even get here?”

“The power of my sexy prowesses!” BDubs said enthusiastically. He disentangled himself from the foliage and drew himself up to full height, which was not particularly tall. “You know what they’re saying about me on the Tumbles, right?”

“I think they actually think I’m sexier,” Joel said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” BDubs said, attempting to throw his arm over Joel’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach, so he awkwardly backed away with an outstretched arm.

“I am, as you know, a very tall and sexy god of lore,” Joel said. “I think that beats ‘weird mossy dwarf’ any day.”

—

Scott cursed as he slipped on a rock. He had been crawling through the wilderness for several hours, searching for his competitor, but he had finally come close. He checked his map one more time, seeing how far he had come. Looking up, he saw a small wooden cabin. He approached it and knocked on the door.

Etho opened it, allowing savory smoke to waft into Scott’s nose.

“What’s up?” Etho asked.

“I just came to tell you…” Scott said nervously, “we’re up against each other in the bracket…”

“Oh, that’s fun!” Etho said.

“And that I’m going to tell my fans that if they don’t vote for me they’re homophobic,” Scott said.

Scott couldn’t see it, but deep down he knew that Etho was frowning disapprovingly.

—

Grian walked into Mumbo’s base, following some weird, high-pitched noise from his own base.

“MumboJumbo!” a voice was singing. “I am hotter!”

"Mumbo?” Grian whispered hopefully. Following the sound, he walked deeper, approaching the slight opening in the walls of Mumbo’s vault. The noise grew, and Grian’s hopes grew with it.

Those hopes deflated when he entered and saw Slimecicle dropping slimeballs on every surface.

“MumboJumbo!” the autotuned voice continued. “Come and fight me!”

Grian sighed heavily, turned, and left.

—

Wilbur was walking towards his front door when he noticed Joe Hills sitting on his porch.

“Oh,” Wilbur said. “You’re Joe, right?”

"Yes I am!” Joe said.

“Is this about the bracket?” Wilbur asked.

“Oh, that silly thing?” Joe said. “No, not in the slightest! I just wanted to say howdy!”

“Do you want to come in or something?” Wilbur offered. “I have soup if you want it. And I’ve been told I make some pretty good burgers.”

“No, that’s fine,” Joe said. “I’m good just sitting right here.”

“OK, then,” Wilbur said, opening the door. He walked inside and looked around. On a hunch, he checked upstairs. Nothing was amiss. He came back down to find Joe sitting exactly where he had left him.

“Are you going to… move or something?” Wilbur asked.

“No, I think I’ll sit right here for the next…” he checked his phone. “22 hours and 57 minutes.”

—

Grian returned to his cave to find Quackity lounging on a dark oak stair in front of the portal.

“Hiya!” Quackity said.

"Oh no,” Grian said nervously. “What do you want?”

“I thought I’d skip ahead a bit and try to cut a deal,” he said. “You see, I know I can’t win against you. You’ve got way too many stans.”

“Look, if this is about the bracket, I don’t really care-”

“Look, Grian. I have an offer.” Quackity stood up and walked towards the hermit. “Let’s pool our votes and form a ticket together. We can be co-sexymen!”

“No no no no no,” Grian said. “I’ve heard this story before.”

“But I have to beat Wilbur!” Quackity said. “Come on, man. What the fu-”

“Nope!” Grian interjected, shoving Quackity back through the Rift.

Behind him, Grumbot lit up. He whirred briefly, and then spat out a message.

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

“This is a family-friendly server, Grumbot,” Grian said.

PEOPLE HAVE STARTED DYING AND I DON’T LIKE IT

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

Imagine a scenario where Jimmy is in Red and also a boogie and Skizz has exact 2 hours to live.

Imagine Jimmy managing to corner Skizz alone. Skizz try to talk to him but Jim heard nothing. Only voices that he heard is whispers of mockery to be the first one to go.

Imagine Jimmy rembering how things all started of him being the canary and remembering Skizz cause of his first permadeath and curse him to the path of being the canary.

Imagine telling him that to Skizz where he realize that his doom. He tried to call for help in chat while trying deflect every barage of attack from Jimmy.

Only for him to fall from his death. Jimmy gain another hour to live and the whole server gasp in shock. Jimmy isn't out first. It's Skizz.

Something. Something breaks inside Jimmy. The curse is broken. The whispering gone silent. The Watchers seems satisfied with the outcome. Jimmy just celebrates and the atmosphere in the server shifts.

Soon Tango and Impulse arrive with mix of confusion and also horror. Skizz gone and Jimmy lives longer. If he attacks, would they survive especially Tango, former soulmate and also a man who still in yellow who said PVP isn't his specialty?

Everyone in this server now knows Jimmy is a threat and isn't playing anymore. The canary stop singing for anyone.

@ask-the-shorty-squad @mayathekurd LOVE YALLLLLLL

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends