Leeisallyouneed - Finding Peace

Old architecture give me life..

A little life walks you through the life of 4 friends and it’s a really good book but in there I also see where love and converting intersect, we’re friendship meets envy, we love our friends for who they are and also envy them for who they are

Monday

Monday feels different these days, not anxious about the work I am doing or not wanting to do the work, I am doing.

I love what I do, I am happy I get to do this, but it also has its drawbacks, like, when will I get my invoices paid, will I find another opportunity to keep me fed and kept?

And so the anxiety is now about surviving, not the work and in some ways it feels like such a vicious cycle

Distance

Initially or maybe still, I like space, for me to do me and for others to do them.

But space isn’t disconnect, is it? Maybe it’s the distance?

No it’s not that, it’s the lines drawn, that’s the distance

I feel distant from you lately, when I think of you sometimes, there is a little “O” in my head

Like you are still somehow, kinda in my life, but with a question mark

Maybe it’s just takes sometime, maybe we can close the distance and get back

Or maybe this is it

🤣🤣🤣

Nov 2024 | Netflix: "What's In My Trunk?" (x)

Do I exist

Like I know I am here

I feel my body, I see everything around me

I smell smells

I hear things

I feel feels, I love and I am loved

But sometimes it doesn’t feel real

It’s hard to call it dissonance

But I feel untethered from time to time

Like most times I am not here

But the real me fights through the haze and I am me

In that moment

But that makes all the other moment not feel real

Okay it doesn’t sound coherent

Maybe it’s not

Maybe that’s the whole point

Sometimes it pays to be embarrassed by a romantic partner or prospect for you to start to see clearly if a relationship makes sense or not

Shame can be strong teacher to re asses s situation

romantic lover