On The Verge 

Love comes back around

Sitting at the airport at 2am

Thinking about love and relationships and how they encompass so much of our lives

How someone you think you’d never love again becomes a life long partner

How a long time friendship turns into a steamy love story

How some people could never really move on from a love that was lost

How two ex lovers, one day, can’t be in the same room because feelings

How we miss our pets when we travel for a bit

How mum’s sometimes live for their kids

We go about our little lives but there is a big part of us and simply wants to love and be loved

Hi there

I hope it hurts a little less today.

Do I exist

Like I know I am here

I feel my body, I see everything around me

I smell smells

I hear things

I feel feels, I love and I am loved

But sometimes it doesn’t feel real

It’s hard to call it dissonance

But I feel untethered from time to time

Like most times I am not here

But the real me fights through the haze and I am me

In that moment

But that makes all the other moment not feel real

Okay it doesn’t sound coherent

Maybe it’s not

Maybe that’s the whole point

Get to know your self,

What you love, like or hate

What makes you smile the widest

What makes you feel excited

What is love to you

What makes you feel afraid

What saddens you deeply

Who brightens up your day

I am a sensitive soul and sometimes it understands on some level the struggle of others unspoken and there is an itch to help drag them out of the hole they can’t seem to come out from

But It also knows you can’t really drag another person out of their hole, only hope they get the strength to drag themselves out and letting them know, you are standing right at the exit holding out your hand

Moving on

Moving on from something is an entire process, moving on from a person is a different ball game, however watching someone move on from you brings with it a unique different type of sadness, which can be hard to articulate at first but then you sit with it for a bit and you come to the realization of why this sadness feels different, it’s cause you are being de-centered but then you think when did being in the center of another person’s life matter to you so immensely and then you realize it’s simply love.

I don’t think you can fully stop loving someone you truly loved, they will always be a small part of you that you carry forever.

That’s it, that’s the post.

“Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.”

— Sylvia Plath

A friend once said “the ground is shifting under her”

At first I didn’t quite get it but now I think I do.

The ground shifting is when your sense of safety, be it a job, a house or a relationship is unraveling and definite change is inevitable.

And in those moments, where everything seems so unsteady and uncertain, where do we find comfort?

Some say you should embrace the discomfort and I think there is some truth in that, I think it’s also weird so what else? Radical acceptance maybe? Or finding snippets of joy in what you can and hold on for dear life.

I am still figuring it out as my own ground is also shifting

I have a different fear

It’s the fear that if this love dies, I won’t find another love, I won’t grow to be very comfortable in a new love, can this new love be trusted?

I am afraid of new love

Old architecture give me life..