I Hate It Here.

there are two main things about the characterization of firestar by both the fans and the authors that i just do not understand like

1. kits/apprentices/younger warriors are like in awe and respectful of him. like there’s no way firestar isn’t that one cool teacher that’s pretty much your second dad. throughout the original series he was like the apprentice magnet. there’s no way as a leader he isn’t constantly helping the apprentices train and cracking endearing but very uncool jokes. he can’t walk around the camp without a line of kits tumbling after him.

2. that he would have absolutely no idea about any of the forbidden love fiascoes going around him. this guy lives for drama. he uncovered bluestar’s secret for the hell of it. he figured out where graystripe was going in a few days. he suspected cloudpaw was getting into something way before the rest of the clan even cared. firestar can sniff out juicy gossip a mile away. hell the first time leafpool snuck out to see crowfeather he’s waiting in the camp when she gets back with a “who is he”

Yeeeees. I want to read this.

Listen, I know Dream winning his duel with Lucifer with hope is like... A BIG DEAL and super symbolic and beautiful, HOWEVER I have something that may not be better, but would definitely be FUNNIER. 

Dream loses. He's been locked in a bubble and had his hopes dashed again and again, even though he's still fighting and still hopeful, it's harder for him to reach that and it doesn't come to mind in time for him to win against Lucifer. He's to stay as a servant in Hell and there's no Endless or divine being that can or will come to his aid. He's trapped. Again. 

Only Matthew isn't Jessamy, Matthew knows when the best way to help is a tactical retreat to gather reinforcements. So that's what he does, going immediately to Luciene like, "Hey, so, uh..." And there has to be some way they can help him! Luciene makes it clear that none of the dreaming denizens can. None of the Endless can, no deity would be of any help there against Lucifer. There are Old Laws dictating that Dream lost fair and square and no one can interfere with that. And Matthew's like, "Well what about someone who can challenge Lucifer to win him back? Someone not bound by the Old Laws?" 

"The only beings not bound by the Old Laws are humans. There's no human--" 

Except there is. There's one. One human that Dream would go off once a century to meet, and it's a long shot, but-- 

That's how Hob Gadling finds himself being approached by a talking raven asking him to trek into hell to rescue his boss. "You know, Dream of the Endless? Lord Morpheus?" 

Hob doesn't know who the hell the bird is talking about until Matthew describes him. "Oh, my Stranger!"

"...He seriously didn't even tell you his name?" 

Now, the idea of setting foot into Hell itself to do battle with Lucifer Morningstar is, y'know... Not something he wants to do. He confirms over and over if Matthew is SURE he doesn't have to die to achieve this, because he's not ready to leave yet, and Matthew is like, "Yeah, buddy, shouldn't be a problem." He's lying. He has no idea if it's a problem. (It's not.) 

Hob is like, "Yeah, but... I can't FIGHT Satan himself and expect to win, I AM still human." 

And Matthew's like, "You don't actually have to fight her, it's like a game! But uh... Pretty sure you still feel all the pain and stuff." And he explains the rules, and like, okay, feeling the painful death of whatever kills whatever you decide to be in your round SUCKS, but Hob's been through that before. It's actually a pretty intriguing game, one he thinks he might win. 

See, the way he sees it, it's a combination of the "times infinity" type of game (I love you, I love you more, I love you times two, I love you times a thousand, I love you times a million-- so on and so on) with that counting game where you either say one or two numbers, back and forth with someone, and whoever says 21 loses. Basically, there's one logical conclusion the game is going to reach. Someone is going to bust out the "times infinity" or in this case, "heat death of the universe" or some other completely life-ending thing. And like with the counting game, if you can get your opponent to say specific numbers on the way to 21, you can make sure they're forced to say it. 

There's a strategy if you think ahead enough, and he has an entire walk through Hell to plan it. 

(It SUCKS. He sees Robyn there. It breaks his heart. It's meant to, it's meant to keep him from reaching the palace, seeing his son in Hell, but they don't know Hob. They don't know the grief he's had to overcome in order for him to say, with absolute certainty, that he still wants to live even though it hurts. He reaches that citadel.)

Dream is, of course, horrified to see Hob there. Hob meanwhile is like a jilted exe all, "Yeah, yeah, we're not friends, you stood me up, but I'm still here for you because I'm the bigger person and I fucking care." 

He challenges Lucifer for Dream's helm and their safe passage out of Hell. Lucifer is... Intrigued. She just beat Dream of the Endless, and this human thinks he can beat her when humanity's collective unconsciousness couldn't? His immortality has made him cocky, clearly. So she accepts, and bargains that if Hob loses, he has to give up his immortality. 

There's a good minute where Hob pauses at that and has to really think about whether his arrogant, condescending not-friend is really worth that but yeah, yeah he is. Meanwhile Dream is off to the side. "Don't do this, Hob Gadling. It is not your responsibility to fix my missteps." Basically his version of pleading for Hob to leave and not risk this up until Lucifer is like enough out of you and shuts him up. 

They play. Lucifer starts out with the wolf again, because it's a good starting point to see what direction her opponent plans to take, to get a glimpse into Hob's mindset entering this game. Her plan is, of course, to cause pain enough that Hob will have a hard time thinking, but Hob makes that really fucking hard from the get-go and throws everyone in the room for a loop when his answer is...

"I am the over hunting of the local deer population. Ecosystem destabilizing, predator killing."

Well. Okay. Yeah, sure. Fucking fine. It's hard to kill that painfully. Lucifer manages to come up with, "I am hunting restrictions, nature preserving, ecosystem balancing." 

Hob, by that point, is like, I got this, actually. This might be fun. "I am the expansion of civilization. Forest destroying, hunting law nullifying." 

Matthew, who had been feeling pretty iffy about calling this guy in to help, is no longer questioning that choice. Dream is a little starry-eyed. 

Eventually Hob is the head of the Home Owner's Association. Lucifer is a bear, scrap hunting, person killing. Hob is family, revenge-seeking, bear euthanizing. Lucifer is Pride, argument starter, family destroying. Hob is friendship, blood covenant, thicker than womb water. Lucifer is jealousy, friendship rending, relationship ruining. Hob is personal growth, jealousy ending, apology giving. Lucifer is relapse, progress destroying, confidence killing. Hob is perseverance, step taking, progress rebuilding. On and on until finally Lucifer decides to end this the way she did with Dream and Hob leads her along until it reaches that natural conclusion, the death of all. 

Now there's some temptation there to go with the obvious, since he can't die even if the universe was destroyed. At least he doesn't think so. But he had already decided that it was an obvious choice to go for and he could think of a few clever ways Lucifer might get around that. So instead, Hob goes the far better choice and personal insult of being God, universe creator, life giver. He's very proud of himself when the demons erupt into boos and Lucifer looks about ready to rip his fucking throat out with her teeth. 

The way he sees it, there are two choices for her there, unless she really pulls something unexpected out of her ass. Option one is the whole "what's a god to an atheist" thing in which Hob would have then been a miracle, faith affirming, god-proving. Not much can destroy a miracle. 

But Lucifer, livid and prideful, goes with option two. "I am Lucifer Morningstar, God defying, His Kingdom ripped sunder!" 

And Hob has the absolute glee to grin and go, "I am Hob Gadling, clever, death defying, and triumphant over Lucifer Morningstar."

He and Dream are promptly kicked out of Hell on their asses, Dream's helm is thrown at his head with a force strong enough to break the sound barrier, and the gates are slammed shut behind them. The whole thing is so humiliating that Lucifer has to change their gender and moves to LA to open a nightclub.

Honestly, I kinda want to see Jason Todd and Billy Batson to meet. I mean, who wouldn't want to see two street kids who basically had to fight to stay alive meet? They don't even have to meet as their secrets identities.

Maybe Bats had a JL meeting at the batcave or smth and Billy just decided, you know what Bruce needs? Another chaos child running around the streets of Gotham. Maybe Jason sees Billy do some petty street crime and decides, I like this kid, and immediately adds him as a part time adoptee Jay so generously takes in. Jay doesn't even care when he finds out Billy is Shazam. He's on a team with a reverse engineered Superman and a sword welding Amazon warrior. A kid with god-like powers isn't really fazing him all that much.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Same

Tim froze. "Huh?"

"I mean, you're definitely cute. But I don't feel comfortable with strangers? And I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

Danny Nightingale looked flustered, nervous, and far too pretty with his cheeks flushing red under the glow of the nearby lamp fixtures. Tim wondered when his brain would finally come back online. Right now it was far too interested in putting everything else on the backburner.

On one hand, he had been trying to get information out of Danny on his connection to Vlad Masters- a connection that had seemed more tenuous with each passing minute of the evening. On the other, Tim could admit it had sounded a bit like he was inviting Danny for something more.

And if he was honest with himself, it was only mostly unintentional.

"It's not even you, I just get attached really easily and don't want something casual. Sorry."

Tim hadn't even realized boundary setting could be so attractive.

"No. Yeah, that's- fine." Smooth. The Drake-Wayne charm at its finest. Tim could hear Jason snickering on the comms.

A snipit of a long since unwritten chapter/idea from my fic

Zatana smiled softly at the sight before her. She was at the Watchtower, looking for an item she misplaced a day or two ago (and to check on John), when she stumbled on the most precious thing she had ever seen. On a bed in the medical wing layed John, fast asleep.

Zee couldn't help herself coo as she heard the softest purr from Danny. It didn't matter that he was technically an adult, it was adorable. And from the looks of it, he had his guard dropped almost completely. There was no stirring as she crept closer, no twitch or care of who entered or where he was. He was well and truly in a deep sleep. It hurt her heart a bit to think that this may be the best sleep he's had in a while. Something was definitely up.

Constantine began to stir a few minutes after Zee arrived. He blinked a few times and looked around in confusion, wondering who was on him. His face softened just a bit as he realized Danny hadn't moved. Then, he noticed Zatana, by then having taken a few photos of the two.

John grumbled a bit as Zee laughed quietly. After a few seconds of silently staring, he asked as quietly as he could, “How long have you been here?”

“Only a few minutes,” Zee replied softly as she looked through her photos and settled down next to the two, “What happened?”

John began moving the young man off him, who, despite still being asleep, immediately tried to fight to stay on him. John just gave up after a few tries, too tired to fight him. “Had a fight, some childhood trauma popped up while doing so,” Zatana could see how haunted John was, despite his best to stay as neutral as possible. She calmly and carefully moved closer to Danny. What got her a bit worried was what John said next. “He did something incredibly dangerous to himself to save my life.”

“Hm,” Zee hummed as she softly scratched Danny’s scalp. She brought her attention to John's wounds. “What happened to your attacker?”

“The bastard deserved what happened to him,” John said with a little hollow tone. He smiled just a bit. “In any case, it's over now. We won’t be seeing him anytime soon.” John’s eyes dropped. “But I found out why the kid was so secretive about his ‘other’ half. And you’re not gonna like it.”

“And that is?” Zee asked, carefully placing a silent spell.

He continued, clearly angry, “The US Government placed a law that says ghosts and liminals are non sentient or sapient and aren’t considered people. That law also put into place a branch specifically to hunt them down and study them. What makes it worse, his parents are the ones supplying and making the weapons to hunt them.”

“John,” Zee began.

John ignored her, beginning to vent, “I had some ideas of it, but that?!” His voice was beginning to raise. “Who in God's name would be so bold as to claim an entire species, older than the fibers of the universe -”

“John-” Zatana tried to interrupt calmly.

“-as non sentient or sapient! How do you prove something that is clearly wrong!”

“John-”

“Do you know what things they might be doing to the ghosts they had already caught? And the kid kept this to himself and didn’t tell us.”

“John Constantine!” Zatana yelled through gritted teeth. She was incredibly thankful for the privacy of a silent spell. As she yelled, Danny’s sleepful face twitched. He was mumbling something, clearly stirring, though still drifting in and out of sleep. “It’s okay darling,” Zee hummed sweetfully, scratching his scalp, “You’re safe.” Danny settled down again, drifting back into his slumber. She looked back at John. Constantine stopped and finally turned to the magician. She was giving him such a hard look.

After a brief stare off, Constantine’s eyes grew wide. “You knew.”

“Long before I even met Danny, in fact, but yes, I knew.” Zee said quietly, looking away. She sighed, “The law was placed when I was a girl, and I only knew about it because my father tried and failed to fight it. It was his mission to, if nothing else, protect the ghosts that can’t escape. And I do too.”

John held back a stutter. “Who else knows?”

“Dr. Fate came to me about a year ago about how much me and my father knew about it, and I’m pretty sure the Big Three know, but I’m pretty sure they’re keeping it on the down low until they figure out a way to repeal the law and organization,” Zee’s eyes looked at John softly. “I’m sorry I-”

“It’s fine. Really, I get it,” John sighed, clearly defeated. “I would have certainly made a fool of myself if you did tell me.” He looked at Danny sadly then back at her. “For now, I’ll try to keep my mouth shut about it. But if that fucking organization goes for you or the kid, I will raise hell and make them wish they were never born.”

“It’s only fair,” Zee said with a soft smile.

Saving this for inspiration.

Dc x dp idea 110

Lois lane was not expecting her next big story to come literally knocking at her door. In the form of a two teens? Preteens?

Both black hair blue eyes, she’d have to keep them away from Bruce.

The older of the two look like he’d taken A beating, the younger of the two hyper focused on the hallway looking back and forth as if expecting someone to jump out at them.

If she can willingly jump of a roof, she most certainly could get two teens inside. They had too much to discuss.

No. A folder of info just won’t do. Come on in. Tell me everything. Secret government agency? Go on please. Just make yourselves comfortable. Portal to the afterlife?? Please more info. Need anything to eat?

She got her answers, a story, and well if two kept hanging around. That was for her to worry about.

Saving this for later ideas.

Imagine it's April fool's day and someone, batfam or JL member, wanting to pull a fun harmless prank decides shocking others with a hand buzzer is the perfect way to do that.

Now imagine they pull this prank on Danny. The person with trauma relating to being shocked. It's a shame the person doesn't know that though because they are about to see just how powerful Phantom is.

When the storm finally clams no one is luckily badly injured. Everyone who was there to witness the events, and even those who were only told tales have a newfound healthy amount of fear for Phantom.

My FanFic doc is so big, the doc app on my phone keeps crashing. I'm not sure what is going on, but I am pretty sure I am winning.