Some Conductor!Toshinori Warmup Sketches From My Musician AU.

All Might was literally suicidal and people dont talk about it enough.

How it must've felt to have to pass on the one source of his strength, for years that has kept him at the top, his sole source of not only livelihood but also his way of helping others? How he must've felt knowing that he could not be the pillar of peace as he had been for almost four decades, that he had to subject another young person to carry that weight. How he must've felt after Kamino, after losing that power for good, after the entire nation saw him at his weakest.

His talk with Aizawa about deciding to live for the next generation, absolutely broke my heart. He felt useless, in a way probably none of us could ever even grasp. Not even izuku could.

What does it mean to be the entire world's pillar in one moment, the strongest man alive, only to go powerless in the next? It's no wonder Toshinori considered ending his life after Kamino- He didn't even look the same. What other option would you have but to end it all there? When you go from the man everyone looks to for help, to a man who can't even take a punch and survive?

But the fact he chose to live speaks volumes of his strength. His willingness to carry on, and help his students and successor fight with whatever strength remained. He helped Izuku during his tenture as a vigilante, because All Might would've done the exact same thing. He packed those lunches. He chased after Izuku, trying to give him the same support he knew All Might would've needed if he was the same age as Izuku.

It's why he put on that suit and fought All For One, even if it meant stalling and not defeating.

Because All Might is beyond his quirk, the same way Izuku is. He has the heart of a true hero.

The reason Izuku probably managed to survive those eight years without an ability to fight alongside his class- was because All Might was likely there beside him, both of them sharing the loss of their power after being at the front of the field. And they both know the importance of sharing their strength, their true strength, with future generations.

It was the strength of their hearts that put All Might and Deku above the rest.

the devil is real

and he's not a little red men with horns and a tail

he can be beautiful.

Symbol of Peace/Symbol of Fear

I've read a lot of callous takes on All Might from fans who are otherwise sympathetic to Tomura (and vice versa)-- which is sad, because I feel these characters are meant to be viewed as two sides of the same coin. It's not much of an exaggeration to say that a good bulk of the story/conflict is built on top of their crumbling bodies. It's also not much of an exaggeration to say that the resolution to this story hinges on them both being allowed to heal.

Toshinori and Tenko are both victims who were repeatedly failed by the adults around them, and are now both adults who are stuck in roles that perpetuate the same cycle that wounded their childhood selves. Their particular traumas regarding identity/loss and how they've been taught to cope with pain (that is to say, not at all) doesn't allow either of them to truly be "complete" people-- instead, they shut away core aspects of themselves and attempt to lose themselves in their respective roles in a futile attempt to run away from their wounded selves. Toshi throws himself into the role of All Might, Tenko throws himself into the role of Shigaraki Tomura-- But Toshi and Tenko still haunt every aspect of this story, and their inability to completely vanish into their alter egos remains a source of pain before it ever becomes a source of strength for them.

One of MHA's biggest messages is about the importance of society's most vulnerable people having access to good social support-- so it's no surprise that Toshi and Tomura's feelings of isolation end up fueling their blind pursuits of peace/destruction. They both gorge themselves on a fantasy they think will fill them, but are never full-- at least, not until they start allowing other people in their lives who can see beyond their respective hero/villain masks and understand that what's behind those masks is someone who desperately needs help.

Brief(ish) Thoughts on the Gravity of Their Designs

"Starvation" is very much the theme of the hour for both characters-- both characters are introduced to the series in severely emaciated, malnourished states. Toshi's true form is literally skin and bones, with his stomach having been ripped from his body by AFO. Tomura is depicted as frequently vomiting from sheer stress and suffers from nearly constant nausea-- during his debut, he's so malnourished that you can literally see the outline of his spinal column. They're both unkempt and unhealthy looking (with Tomura's clothes being visibly tattered/frayed around the collar and shirt/pant cuffs in a particularly infuriating bit of visual story telling-- AFO UR FUCKING LOADED WHY IS HE WEARING RAGS I'LL KILL YOU🗡️🗡️🗡️)

MEANWHILE, AFO himself is depicted as a cannibalistic, gluttonous, greedy monster who gorges himself on the misfortune of others and spares no expense whatsoever when it comes to maintaining his own health-- all while remaining well dressed and well groomed. Hori's art direction is simple but highly effective in how it indicates who the real enemy is, while also indicating that Tomura and Toshinori secretly share a mortal foe with one another.

Less seriously, Toshi & Tomura's muscle forms are both shams lmao.

Nana's Boys-------------------------------

God, Tomura is SUCH a fucking grandma's boy and he doesn't even know it. 😭 😭 😭You too, Toshinori. Hate u both! ❤

For all her flaws and mistakes, Nana still remains a major influence in Tomura and Toshinori's lives-- She is a source of pain for them both, but also serves as a source of strength for Toshinori and a source of deeply repressed hope for Tenko. She is the unbreakable binding thread that connects Toshinori and Tenko together as "family". Nana is also completely inextricable from the origin of both boys:

There's also the ever creeping implication that all the traits Tomura latched onto with AFO actually originated from Nana and Toshinori-- the concept of an inviolable "origin" that defines you, donning an invincible smile that hides your pain/fear, pushing past your limits by remembering why it is you swing your fists. AFO intended for both his "teacher persona" and his lessons to be a dark, twisted mockery of Nana-- but Tomura still "found" Nana in those lessons and then used them to take the first step towards breaking free.

Y e a h.

Nevertheless, Tomura can't bring himself to take the next step towards being saved until someone starts to challenge him a bit more on what his origin actually *IS* . Izuku, that's ur cue.

The Kamino Incident---------------------

mmm cinnamontography......

Kamino and its immediate aftermath is definitely the meat and potatoes of Tomura and Toshi's connection, and the story is STILL reeling from the aftershocks of this arc. AFO gleefully picks up his pen and proceeds to write Tomura and Toshi into a corner they can't escape from on their own, setting the stage for the rest of the series.

It's all but confirmed through AFO's actions and internal dialog that Kamino was a set-up meant to retraumatize Tomura and Toshinori by recreating the worst moments of their lives, while also permanently putting them at odds with each other-- AFO takes himself off the playing board willingly in a way that's deliberately meant to resemble Nana's sacrifice while also ripping Tomura's trauma about not being saved wide open. My guy played the longest con specifically so he could create a hell specifically tailored to these two, then gave them both time to "pick themselves up and dust themselves off" just so he could knock them both down AGAIN in an even MORE spectacularly traumatizing way a few months later. (I am once again encouraging people to reread MHA while actually paying attention to AFO this time and while acknowledging that Tomura and Toshinori are his victims, because the dude's a fucking FANTASTIC villain)

All Might and Tomura both get their "masks" forcibly removed in a way that's meant to humiliate them and expose their pain/humanity, which causes them to both bury themselves even deeper in their hero/villain roles and further away from each other. AFO depends on Toshi's hero mask and role as a "symbol" being the very thing that won't allow Toshi to save Shimura Tenko. Kamino is to Toshi what MVA is to Tomura-- an awful tragedy that shackles both men to their masks, masquerading as a good ol' high-energy shonen beatdown.

AFO: Hey can I copy ur homework lol

Name a bigger "Ohhhhhhh This Bitch (ʘ‿ʘ)" moment

AFO gets a sick pleasure out of masquerading as a savior and turning others into the "villain"-- he has always delighted in dragging others to his level, in bringing the absolute worst outta them, in watching them make all the same decisions *he* would make without him having to force his hand, in stealing the light from their eyes so they look just as dull and unhappy as his, in making others "another him".

Tomura is an obvious example, but Toshi himself is also a victim of AFO's particular brand of perversion (for lack of a better word)-- Kamino has AFO turning Toshi into "another him." All MIght is turned into "the villain" who takes Tomura's beloved master away from him, just as AFO took Nana away from Toshinori. All Might inflicts the same trauma he went through onto Tomura, while AFO takes a bow and proceeds to laugh himself all the way to the bank Tartarus.

(Seriously, tho-- reading "All Might: Rising" and the Kamino arc back-to-back and realizing that AFO's dramatic sacrifice was *literally plagiarized* is probably one of the biggest doses of fridge horror in the entire series-- it immediately throws EVERYTHING about Kamino and AFO's relationship with Tomura into question.)

*enraged chimpanzee shriek* THE WAY HE PRETTY MUCH SAYS EXACTLY WHAT HIS PLAN IS BUT THE PLAN WAS SO FRIGGIN INCONCEIVABLE THAT NO ONE PICKED UP ON IT. FUKX>.

From AFO's perspective, Toshi's rise to power as "The Symbol of Peace" was shaped by his rage and the loss of his beloved master. This blind hatred eventually allowed All Might to corner and "kill" AFO. AFO takes his notes and ultimately sets Kamino up to mirror Nana's sacrifice, turning Toshinori into the figure who fuels Tomura's blind hate-- which kick-starts Tomura's development into "The Symbol of Fear" in earnest. He then spends 90% of his meeting with Toshi in Tartarus talking in bullshit riddles that are ultimately meant to mock Toshi-- He's basically saying "look a little closer buddy, that's you! :)" and then ominously chuckling to himself when Toshinori completely fails to pick up on what he's actually saying.

"wait so all that talk about Tomura growing and developing into a symbol and learning how to use his rage was just AFO being a perverted freak about Toshinori/All Might?" ALWAYS HAS BEEN!

AFO "writes" an "evil" version of All Might he has complete control over, then self-inserts himself into that version of All Might. Oh, and it's also a version of his brother who "willingly" submitted to him and was totally stoked walk the path of evil with him. Oh, and it's also a vessel that has the blood of Shimura Nana running through him, who happens to be the object of AFO's strangely charged derision.

Fellas, Freud would have a fuckin' field day.

>This Action Will Have Consequences.

Toshi's kneejerk reaction in the aftermath of Kamino is to chase after Tomura, to approach him as "Shimura Tenko". His first reaction is to act on his feelings as Toshinori, not as All might. Gran Torino shuts this down immediately, shoving both Toshinori and Tenko back into the hero and villain boxes and refusing to let them remove their "masks." Toshi's fear of Gran Torino is funny, until it isn't-- he buckles immediately and defers to Torino's will like a scolded child.

Gran Torino claiming “It doesn’t matter who he’s related to” in a series where familial relationships are frequently used to humanize its characters is a particularly backhanded way of dehumanizing Tomura (especially since the death of their families was the catalyst that caused both Toshi AND Tomura to start dehumanizing themselves).

Gran Torino immediately brings Toshi's "role" as All Might back up as a means of silencing him. Reading between the lines of this scene, Toshinori is essentially being told that he isn't allowed to take off the hero mask, that he isn't allowed to act on his feelings as Toshinori. Toshi is told that he can no longer act as the symbol of peace, but in the same breath, he's told that he can't ever STOP being the symbol of peace-- it's subtle, but this dissonance is what causes him to start slowly spiraling throughout Acts 2 & 3.

In Kamino's aftermath, Tomura and Toshi are both left feeling hollow and directionless. AFO mostly succeeds in hollowing out Tomura, who spends the beginning of Act 2 as a sullen and depressed mess until he finally snaps during the events of MVA. Toshinori, however, is lucky to have people in his life who begin to fill him up again with little acts of love for who he is outside the "Symbol of Peace" mask.

Toshinori, Rising.

MHA has been about Izuku's growth into someone capable of saving Tomura, but it's also been about Toshinori's growth into someone who can live outside his alter ego and finally become the sort of hero his childhood self wanted to be-- someone who breaks the cycle of grief turning into hatred. Yagi Toshinori WANTED to be the type of hero who could save Shimura Tenko, more anything. And if Hori sticks the landing with Toshinori and Tomura's arcs, then we're going to see some massive pay off in the coming chapters.

The series supports the underlying implication that Toshi's initial impulse to go after Tomura and treat him as Shimura Tenko was the correct one, and that not going after him was ultimately a massive mistake-- and Toshi has gradually been developing into someone who can now act on that impulse without being shouted down or shoved back into a box.

Side note: I feel that people who are insisting that Toshi is gonna die are severely underestimating how important Toshi and Tomura actually are to each other's respective arcs-- Killing Toshi before he gets to meet Tomura again leaves a big part of his arc unfulfilled. It also compromises Tomura's arc and MHA's message about the importance of good social support and family in saving society's most vulnerable people-- Yagi Toshinori becomes a hero that surpasses All Might through helping Tomura, and fulfills his dream about breaking the cycle of grief and hatred. Tomura gains the closure and social support he needs to finally start healing alongside what is basically his only remaining family (on a spiritual level!).

On that note.....

"You're Just Like All Might, Ten-chan."

*gazes pointedly at the SMAAAASH* Oh, Tenko.....

When Tomura/Tenko gets pushed to his mental breaking point during the UA Fortress Battle, he manifests the biggest targets of his grief and anger to "protect" him. Tomura twists his form into a childish interpretation of All Might-- one that exists solely to protect him-- then unleashes several "SMASH"es on the heroes. Tomura betrays himself and his true desires through this form more than any other.

The unstated implication scattered throughout the entirety of MHA is that Tenko has always been waiting for All Might to "finally show up and save him," but All Might never came. It's the core of the tragedy between these two. Tomura's ""hatred"" of All Might is fueled by extreme unprocessed grief, as always-- the same cycle that Toshinori dreamed of breaking when he was a child.

Midoriya Izuku's "Role"

NOTICE: THIS IS A SET. DO NOT SEPARATE. (side note: Tomura touching All Might's screen while delicately raising his pinky to avoid destroying it.... I can see u bitch.)

Izuku is Tomura's hero for the same reason that Izuku is Toshinori's hero. Through Toshinori's relationship with Izuku, he learns that his life always had meaning, that he always had a role outside of being "All Might." He learns that it's okay for him to keep living as Yagi Toshinori, and that his "origin" didn't disappear when he lost One For All-- it's easy to see how Izuku's role in helping Toshi reconcile his identity and heroic origins ultimately bleeds into his arc with Tomura.

Izuku and Tomura learn how to define heroism and villainy through each other. Both boys start off with a vague, poorly-defined goal of wanting to save everyone/destroy everything-- and both goals are equally shallow/unattainable, at first. Thinking about those "goals" too deeply means confronting an aspect of themselves that's still wailing in pain-- they only begin to confront those feelings and the origin that fuels them through their repeat contact with each other.

All Might is the one who gave Tenko and Izuku's idea of heroism its "shape"-- but Tomura is ultimately the one who helps Izuku define his idea of heroism by forcing Izuku to repeatedly examine that definition each time they encounter each other. And Izuku the one Tomura's mind instinctively drifts towards when he thinks about about "some hero"-- he's the one who consistently motivates Tomura to struggle and claw himself back to the surface from the depths of the Demon King role. If "hatred" is what allows AFO to maintain his control over Tomura, then why was Tomura able to wrench back control after Izuku asked for him? Why was he able to resist when AFO attempted to unleash decay at the very beginning of the final war arc? Because there's something other than hatred fueling him right now. Tomura's truth, as always, lies firmly between the lines and under about seven different layers of misdirection (and yes, this is just a purple-prosey way of calling him a fucking tsundere /derog).

what do u guys think they were feeding toshi at the orphanage

Toshinori gets his mask removed, but learns that it's okay for him to live without it and that lesson brings him closer to his origin than he's ever been before. He is finally "reborn" as a fully formed human, not as a symbol. Anyway! *points at Shigaraki Tomura*

Just some random sketches :)

Some doodle thing idk 😞

they are just havin fun

they’re judging you so hard kathy omg

bonus:

Your Ring camera has detected movement

Timeskip comic where they try to align their schedules to have lunch together 💚🌸