A Message For You (x)

Though, I'm still figuring out where I am on the spectrum I felt like I "found myself" when I read about demiromantic people. I really got that "Maybe I'm not broken after all"- feeling.

It’s was a very ‘oh’ moment for me. I almost felt silly that I didn’t recognize it earlier. But I tend to be really good at denial. I still have a little trouble with romantic orientation, it remains a very nature vs nurture problem for me. A recent terminology update gave me platonic relationships. Something I hadn't considered but the more I find the idea appealing the more I accept being aromantic.

Every time a post on queerplatonic relationships makes its way around tumblr, the comments are inevitably filled with a flood of “IT’S CALLED FRIENDSHIP” or “WHY DO YOU NEED A WORD FOR THIS.”

Do you honestly think society regards friendship as an acceptable substitute for romance and marriage?  The thing is, most aros would LOVE if it could just be called friendship.

Because that would mean a world where:

Friendships are considered equal to or sometimes *SHOCK HORROR* more important than romantic relationships.  This is not an exceptional occurrence.

Romantic partners know that they might not be their datemate’s Most Important Person and are not bothered by this.

People commonly plan major life events around their friends up to and including housing, finances, employment, ect.

It is common for people to be in their 30s, 40s, 50s, hell even old age having lived with friends that entire time and no one has ever asked them why they’re not married.

It is common for people to have a committed lifelong partnership with their friend and no one bats an eye.

Having a life friend is considered something that can be regarded as equally close to marriage.  It is also taken just as seriously.

Until the day that those are true, friendship is unfortunately not an accurate word to convey the types of relationships we’re talking about. 

The Stormlight Archive: Secret History

(video by nathanthecatlady)

here have a second video of the ones that missed the cut for part one

Hahaha, yes!

Attempting to cheer up your friend after a break up:

21 Things You'll Only Un...

Yes

Me during most conversations that require my opinion.

Black roses commish

squeezy-cheez The greatest factor for me has been the consistency of my experience. I spent years deeply confused about what I was feeling. At first I thought I was a late bloomer. Then I thought I was homosexual, because I think a lot of women are beautiful. Then I thought I was straight, because men are gorgeous. But during conversations about sex I was firmly not interested. I've repeated my disinterest over and over again in conversations and journaling through the years. And this was long before I knew and used the term asexual. I was talking with my cousin over coffee one night. We were discussing her new boyfriend and so forth. I confessed that I was a virgin; she was a little shocked and asked why. I told her I wasn't interested. She said that maybe I was asexual, it was something that had come up in her human sexuality course. I remember the next day I sat down and researched asexuality. I cried. No label has ever given me so much relief. This thing I was internally agonizing over for years had a name. I don't really think about sex on my own, the subject typically has to be brought to my attention. When the conversation does get going I feel so abnormal and uncomfortable. I feel broken almost every time. I struggle all the time with who I am. I worried, like you, that I was making it all up in my head. But the history of my experience is there. And most importantly, when I identified as asexual nothing about my experiencs changed, except that nowadays I am on average happier.

I’m still getting the hang of this place. I’m nothing fancy. sorry I deleted then remade a different account. I don’t know what I’m doing yet. yeah, sorry