Sadly, this is probably going to help someone. Please stay safe
hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
lawfulwizard.
evilwizard
Reblog for greater sample size.
me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!
lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago
lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago
event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago
event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago
event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago
real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago
real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago
reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years
reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes
real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago
lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago
reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow
reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes
real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago
lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago
lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago
making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago
technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago
threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days
non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar
non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire
lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago
self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago
giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\
i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?
declarative statement: you feel old.
subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.
reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.
reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago
Okay, okay. even if this was lucid dreaming, it's still murder. If i were to put you in a hyper-realistic VR game of your life, and you didn't know that I did so, and thought everyone around you was real, and alive, and you killed someone, is that not murder? You, from your perspective, caused harm and loss of life to a living, breathing person, even if that was not the case. So it is still technically murder. Hilarious. But still murder
I’m glad ppl on tiktok are doing ok
My partners friend went missing if you all could signal boost this!
You've been isekai'd into a fictional setting. Spin this wheel to find out which one.
I got stuck under a capsized boat once. Not fun. Not fun at all. @starlightdust-dreamergalaxy
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"