“You Aint Worth A Damn” 😂😂

💪Shoplifting😫🛍 Protip 💵

Step 1: go to ur local Walmrt

Step 2: go to th sports + outdoors aisle

Step 3: locate the weights

Step 4: pick them all up one by one

Step 5: put them all back (one by one)

Step 6: leave the store

Step 7: never come back

💥CONFIGURATIONS‼️ u have SUCCessfully 💅 shop LIFTED💪💪💪 NEVER STOP THE GRIND BRO 🔥🥇

A story in four parts

just discovered a neat trick. if you make brownies but dont cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate 1 brownie

Bae: come over

Me: I can’t I’m raising scuttlebugs

Bae: I’m at QPU syncing speed

Me:

in honor of wolfenstein 2

Stop whatever the hell you are doing right now and see this! Super Mario to a violin.

sundress no panties 

if you say “cool beans” to me you automatically fail your charisma check and I just start swinging